Beauty and the Blogger

| February 20, 2010


[She decided it was best taking a picture with me looking directly at the sun. Which is just insane, since I abhor the outside world.]

Guy Version of this post: She’s hot and young, I am neither.

Girl Version: After the jump.

It will always be astonishing to those who know me that I have a GF who loves me. I really am a pain in the ass at times, and curmudgeonly and a hermit to boot. It’s actually even more amazing that Caroline and I made it out of the first weekend.

So, a little background… Two years ago Caro left a comment at The Sniper on a post I authored. As usual, when someone comments, I followed her back to her home at the USO Girls blog and sent her a message. Typical guy, I was essentially hitting on her, and more remarkably, it worked. Pretty soon we were “internet engaged.”

Although I hate the phone, Caro and I started talking just about every day. Finally we got our opportunity to meet in real life, at the Milblog convention in Vegas. I knew I needed a wingman, so I recruited my buddy T2 who lives in Reno to fill that role. He’s happily married, so I knew he would keep me on the even keel. Caro’s and my first date(s) was/were a textbook example of what not to do.

For starters, she had agreed before hand that I would get a kiss. Awesome, right? So, we meet and I am TOTALLY into her, and the typical self-doubts start to intrude. So, when she left with Jaime to go get ready for the Milblog dinner, I sent her a text message: Am I still going to get that kiss?

Now, on the scale of sheer pathetic-ness (not really a word), I suppose this could have been worse. I could have slipped her a note to check yes or no, or skipped that entirely and just pulled her hair. Either way, I couldn’t work up the nerve to ask her in person, so a text seemed a good idea. Right up until she ignored me. (I would find out several months later that she in fact did reply with a yes, but she did it in an elevator, and it never sent.)

So anyway, an hour later she comes down, and I’m sitting there being the big baby I am with a pouting lower lip, and we start playing video poker. Now, Jaime doesn’t know how to play, and she did something that she shouldn’t have, like hit on 20 or something. So I call her a “big dummy.” This is another thing to be avoided assiduously. I doubt it is ever a good move. I then got berated for using my “mean East Coast words.”

As we went out to dinner, I proceeded repeatedly to violate rule #3 of dating: I used the wrong name for her the entire weekend. Women tend to be forgiving creatures. One exception I have found is using the wrong name. Calling her “Carolyn” repeatedly (to the extent that even T2 was calling me a dumbass and telling me to remain silent) was probably a bad call. I eventually resolved this by pausing before saying her name and singing Neil Diamond in my head. “So [bum bum bum, sweet] Caroline, we going out to dinner tonight?”

At some point during this reception thing, I started to feel sick. Like, real sick. I think I got food poisoning. So I was going to retreat to my room, but made plans to meet Caro later. And we did get to see each other later that night, only 3 hours later than we had planned. Seems she and Jaime and Lt Nixon went out to Hooters, and danced the night away. Not relevant either way, but at some point Jaime and Caro got separated, and each lost the other. So, around 11pm Caro shows up to see me, and she is sobbing because “Jaime and I broke up.” Now, you’ll remember that I wasn’t feeling well. And because Caro and Jaime are fighting, she felt this was a good time to jump up into my lap, presumably so I could make her feel better. Well, between the bony ass she has (she literally has butt bones that are like Ginsu’s, they can cut through my leg and then a tomato), and my stomach being very queezy, not only did I get a bruised leg out of this, but she set off another round of projectile vomiting.

Now, I bring all this ancient history up because I pretty much knew after that that that Caro and I would one day be married. If you can make it out of a weekend of disasters and still dig each other, you’re probably good to go. I just sort of knew. And despite all the teasing and such, I’ve never been reticent to tell her of my optimism regarding us either. I would have probably married her earlier, but at the time I was in a lot of transition, with my job, moving etc, and she deserves only the best in life. Now those issues have been resolved.

My favorite book of all time is Cyrano de Bergerac. And there is a passage in there that has always been in my opinion the greatest ever written:

And what is a kiss, when all is done?
A promise given under a seal — a vow
Taken before the shrine of memory
A signature acknowledged — a rosy dot
Over the i of Loving — a secret whispered
To listening lips apart — a moment made
Immortal, with a rush of wings unseen —
A sacrament of blossoms, a new song
Sung by two hearts to an old simple tune —
The ring of one horizon around two souls
Together, all alone!

When Caro and I finally kissed that night, I made that promise. I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. But, at some point it takes more of a promise than a mere kiss, and that time has come. So, this weekend I will be flying down to Dallas to ask her to marry me.

Actually, I already flew down. And as you are reading this, so is she, as she sits in the USO center with her friends and me standing awkwardly behind her. So, Caro, if you think you’d like to take this idiot guy who loves you with all his heart, now would be a good time to turn around and tell me so.

Category: Bloggers

Comments (99)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Greyhawk says:


  2. FXCOfire says:

    congrads!.. what a story on how you two met.

  3. Greta says:

    This is wicked pissa awesome! Congrats!

  4. Kate says:

    It is amazing how happy you can be for someone else!!!! Whoohoo.

    And I think the Milblog wedding is a great idea! Prolly not so popular with the families, though.

  5. olga says:


  6. Caroline says:

    Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I was completely surprised, Mark, Jamie, and everyone else at the USO did a great job of keeping it a secret.

    Susan – Yes, he asked my dad over Christmas, but he won’t tell me what was said only that it was a good talk. He did have a ring, the setting was my great grandmother’s and he replaced the stone and had it sized for me, it fits like a glove! He didn’t get on one knee but he said that it was because he was shaking and thought he was going to throw up. I’ll have to write a post about everything they did to keep me in the dark. It really was the perfect proposal, and I couldn’t ask for a better husband!

  7. ROS says:

    Sniper, you rock.

    And that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. Who really wrote it?

  8. Congratulations to you both!

  9. Dave Thul says:

    Congrats to TSO and good luck to Caroline, you’ll need it!

  10. Jamie says:

    I was the third wheel standing there awkardly when they first had googly eyes for each other in Vegas and then again, I was standing there awkardly when he was proposing to her. I will forever be a part of their love story! I should be in the room with them when they have their first baby! It was an awesome proposal!

  11. Old Tanker says:

    Well, well, well, my sincere congratulations to you both! Best of wishes!

  12. Blanka says:

    Congratulations to both of you! Next, summoning the crystal ball and judging the above photograph, Madame Cleo foresees beautiful ocean-eyed babyhood!

  13. Diane Fitzgerald says:

    And I would think you would be welcome in the delivery room! 🙂

  14. GRAN says:

    There was a little girl named Caroline
    Who loved USO work devine!
    ‘Til she met Mark
    Who caused a spark!
    She now has a diamond sublime!

  15. Claire says:

    This is the most awesome post I have read in a long time. Good news is good for the soul. Congratulations!

    TAH, Damon can tell you that it’s not easy having a younger, smokin’ hot wife, but someone has to do the job! 😉

  16. IronKnight says:

    I tuly believe every great soldier needs a Household 6.
    They keep us in line, remind us to bathe, work as a great excuse to get out of house parties that are a train wreck wainting to happen.
    But more important; they give us a reason to come home and most important of all they give us a reason to sign up and do the hard work.


  17. yankeemom says:

    Well, reading this is the greatest way to start a Monday!! Congrats to you both!!
    TSO – you are one lucky dawg! Take good care of your future Household 6 – she’s one helluva special person.
    Caro – my hat’s off to you!

    May you both have an exciting and giggle-filled life together ~

  18. Just A Grunt says:

    How is this going ot affect your WoW time? Some things are more inportant then gaining a life long companion who can be counted on in good times and bad and cooks a good meal from time to time.

    Azeroth is depending on you!


  19. Uncle Joe says:

    Congratulations to you both.

    When is the wedding? I need to get it on my calendar so that it does not conflict with my hunting schedule. Please do not have in in the middle of October like Joy Beth did, I didn’t get to go to North Dakota to pheasent and goose hunt that year. Also don’t have it Sept 18th that is Texas Tech vs. Texas in Lubbock, so you know where Scott and I will be that day. And! don’t have it Oct 2nd, that is Texas vs. ou; and all good burnt orange blooded Texans know where they should be on that day.

    Oh! and what does TSO mean?

    God Bless you.

  20. caroline says:

    Uncle Joe- Nothing official yet, but let me assure you I have already been asked not to have my wedding during football season. It will be in Indianapolis so maybe it can be a detour on your way to North Dakota…sorry about not coming through on the Caroline in ’09 but we didn’t miss by too much!

  21. LL says:

    Late to the party but lots of congratulations to you both!!

  22. Abu Fatima says:

    Congrats to both of you!

  23. AFSister says:

    HOT DAMN!!!!!

  24. BooRadley says:

    Caroline’s family getting on and wishing well is the cutest thing!!

  25. MSG Keith says:

    I joined the “Marrying WAY out of my league” club on 27 June 09, when the beautiful AFSis became my bride. Tanker Babe was the Maid of Honor. She can tell you about the wedding. When I sent out pics to our CG, he responded, “Well, you definitely married up.”

    Congratulations! Sometimes, someone comes along and you just know. Glad you found that someone.

  26. FeFe says:

    Holy Mother MacArthur, I have lost my crush. All because I don’t have a blog. Science, why have you forsaken me?! — Wishing you both very happy.

  27. ponsdorf says:

    I’ve offered to be a Bridesmaid and wear whatever Jamie wears.

    Jonn, Sniper… care to join me? The wedding pictures alone will make milblog history.

  28. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX says:

    Congrats to you both – Caroline (and friends) thanks for representing DFW so beautifully; I know the troops really appreciate it! Best wishes for a long and happy life together –

  29. MD says:

    Congrats…TSO kinda looks like one of them dudes in the Wizard of Oz Lollipop Guild!


  30. Susan says:

    Absolutely beautiful ring and you guys look wonderful together. I am so glad he did it right since it is, hopefully, a once in a lifetime thing.

    As to the royal blue taffeta dress – try ebay.:-;

  31. Full of Regret and Shame. says:

    Good to see that you haven’t changed, even all these years later. Classic story.

    You saved my life a couple of years ago. I honestly believe that, and yet, you were thousands of miles away.

    Background: Once upon a time, you and I took a long walk. From Virginia Beach to North Carolina. On the beach. No water, no food, just you and me setting out to do something epic, stupid, and memorable. My feet were bleeding before we reached North Carolina, fully sopping up through my shoes. Limping, my back was locking up, my hips were clicking, my knees buckling, and in my naivety, I was honestly worried about getting back.

    I was in true pain. Not “oh, ow, that kinda hurts” pain. Fully white totally body enveloping pain. I don’t remember the exact words, but you started singing to distract me from it so we could carry on. I’m sure that the world took pity on us due to the largely incoherent screeching that we were producing about a log, a frog, a hair, a flea, all in the bottom of the sea.

    Several years later when on another endeavor of epic stupidity, I found myself alone, but this time in true danger. I was quite literally hundreds of miles from civilization in a situation where I had a choice: Sit still and die, or move, sing, and live.
    So, I sang.
    I wept.
    …..and I lived.

    As such (and through a _very_ weird set of coincidences) I find myself here, reading this story only a few days after it happened.

    TSO, you’re one of the most honorable, smartest, dedicated, and true people I’ve ever met.

    Please accept my congratulations. I wish you both all the best that this universe can offer.

  32. thebronze says:

    Congratulations, you guys!

  33. TSO says:

    I remember that day well “Full of.” I even remember the name of the ship at the end of that epic ill-fated ruck march, the “Clythea.” Why I remember that when I can’t remember breakfast is beyond me, but there it is.

    I do not remember singing. Perhaps some jodies of an off-color nature. I also remember the next day that we sat on the board of my wind surfer soaking our feet in the atlantic and imbibing many liquid pain killers.

    And enough of the regret and shame, everything happens for a reason, no sense carrying the Albatross 10+ years after you shot it.

    Hopw you are okay now bud. Last I remember you were in Alaska.

  34. MD says:

    Apropos of comments 87 & 89, its the close-knit friendships and relationshipos among and between the good folks who blog here that are such a big part of why T.A.H. has rapidly become one of my favorite blogs and required reading on a several-times-a day basis.

    I dont know any of you folks in person, but I admire and respect all of you and like to think that if we did meet at some point we’d be fast friends. If we played 6 Degrees of Seperation,
    I am pretty sure some of my people in the service know (or have known) some of your people.

    anyway…enough sappy stuff. keep up the great work.

  35. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    Best wishes! It’s too cool when people find love.

  36. Kate says:

    Hahaha! I had forgotten the ginsu line! Still very sweet to read again…

  37. Sherri T says:

    Still/always a beautiful story that brings a tear to my eye

  38. Happy Almost Engagement Anniversary to the Blogger and the one.

  39. MCPO NYC USN(Ret.) says:

    Can you name your baby after me? POPEYE!

  40. I will not speak about your competence, the post merely disgusting

  41. Dirndl says:

    Home foreclosure cleansing web based beginning their own gates throughout metropolitan areas as well as neighborhoods surrounding the country. Some sort of foreclosures clean-up firm manages an array of assistance. Jobs such as using are addressed by clean-up solutions: rubble elimination
    yard good care
    demand laundry
    gutter cleanup
    indoor cleaning up
    winterization (and de-winterization)
    windowpane and also gate boarding
    time frame and also gate fixing and/and replacement unit
    nyc locksmith assistance
    pool area washing
    vehicle removals
    roof top maintenance perform
    real estate property reports (i. y., validation associated with guests reports, first nonincome producing house assessments, residence state reports, property vacancy assessments, delinquency assessments, drive-by examinations, foreclosures assessments, inner surface property reports, and so on incredible
    small as well as main improvements
    All the on top of providers, and even more, is usually proposed by Property foreclosures: just one in every single 662 Enclosure Systems The industry for all those kinds of start up corporations is definitely ever-increasing. As per RealtyTrac, inside April involving 2007, one out of just about every 662 casing devices acquired some sort of home foreclosure registering.

  42. Kate says:

    Happy anniversary you crazy kids!