Dear Steve Susman

| April 19, 2010

Jonn covered this earlier, but it’s been pissing me off all day. First, I want to go through his missive. He is bold and italicized, mine will be regular.

On behalf of Liberty Candidates, as I am one, I find your actions abhorrent and unlawful. Those organizations using a 503c Charitable Organization charter will be subject to diciplinary measures by the authorities in your respective states.

Your spelling is atrocious, your logic is faulty, and you are a ri-tard. What orgnizations are you referring to that do the remainder that have a 503c, and do you understand what that means?

This serves as notification that Liberty Candidates, all 126+ are in the process of filing legal action against your all of the organizations in the coming week. For those of you that are private citizens that participated in this outrageous action, I should hope that you are financially well off.

I speak on behalf of the worlds interest when I say that I look forward to this treatise of masterpiece of jurisprudence with the same trepidation as I did the time my buddy told me he had a video of a midget playing baseball with a Louisville slugger hanging out of his ass. I am not well off, but take great interest in being part of your suit, see later for details.

Your plan to threaten the citizens of the United States into not donating to a political candidate of their choice and in their state violates many laws that we do not have enough paper to possibly list here. Groups holding a 503c charter are prohibited from endorsing ANY particular candidate. By slandering Adam Kokesh, Candidate for New Mexico’s race, you have indirectly endorsed Lujan. All candidates have suffered large financial losses to their campaign funding, so enjoy your moment of gloating. It will be short lived.

Wow. Just wow.
As Yoda might say: The ri-tard is strong in this one.
As a decent lawyer might tell you: Get the fahk out of my office and come back with a real cause of action.

Rest assured, we have employed several laywers that will work on a pro bono basis to recoup these losses from your hate groups. This is your one and only notice to CEASE and DESIST from these types of unlawful activities. We are asking for the sum of $126,000,000.00 (one hundred and twenty-six million dollars) from each group responsible for these actions.

I herewith and in perpetuity do hereby proclaim that by virtue of the magna carta, the emancipation proclamation, the deed to my manor at Blackacre, and by the power coursing through my veins granted me by the sword, battle-charger and the power of Grey Skull that your petition herewith also call for Sharks with fricken sweet-ass laser beams attached to their heads.

We will begin serving these complaints in the next 7-10 days, one as a class action lawsuit, and should that fail; each candidate will be serving their own individual complaints against you following that. I suggest you focus your activities on a local level, and be more productive in helping those in your communities. You have run up against a large group of determined individuals that refuse to be stopped in their quest to return America back to the Constitution. We will use this great document to the fullest extent in making sure that the 2010 elections are not influnced by hate groups such as yours.

I have spent the better part of 3 weeks going through defamation lawsuits filed by both private and public figures. For the love of the Holy Mother of Spongebob, pray point me to ONE, JUST ONE, that went your way when dealing with supposed defamation against a public figure. Your lawsuit is bullshit.

And what is the lawsuit?

RE: Slander, Libelous Statements, Use of threats, coersion to prevent income, tampering with election funding, use of misleading video clips and doctored footage.

Slander: defense of truth, various First Amendment protections, marketplace of ideas, etc. Look them up.
Libelous Statements: see above.
Use of Threats: where? You should know that threats can be difficult, and are not generally a cause of action for a person, rather this would probably fall under criminal.
coersion to prevent income: Now you are just making shit up.
tampering with election funding: Not a cause of action, making shit up again.
use of misleading video clips and doctored footage: Misleading video clips not illegal. Doctored footage where? Um, wouldn’t that pretty much screw all media outlets? Also, not a cause of action.

Also- I note at your Facebook page you state:

Even if we don’t win these suits-we need to prove a point and put an end to this!

Ah, so you admit your case is horseshit, but you are pushing forward with it to “prove a point.” You know what they call a lawyer who takes a case to court that has no merit based exclusively on the premise of “making a point”? In the legal world we call that: really fucked. Like, take it up with the bar fucked. You should consider taking that part down.

But look, I also want to be a part of this suit. Here’s a little number I have been quietly sitting on for quite a while. But, since you open the door, let me throw it out there.


There, please add my name to the list. Have your lawyer contact the blog here at admin(at)thisainthell(dot)us and I will be happy to furnish my name and address. Mind you, your lawyer will likely be bright enough to tell you that what I did there was pass along information given to me, and that in order to prevail you would have to show that no one told me that, which they have. But, I say screw it, bring on the discovery phase I say.

Also, I would like to add Steve that you seem more in need of a constitutional refresher course than any man I’ve ever seen. Also, kindly go F yourself.

Your pal, TSO.

Category: Politics

Comments (19)

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  1. justplainjason says:

    I don’t know where this guy learned the law, but I think that this is one of the most retarded things I have ever seen. I wonder if our buddy Curt sent it as some joke…

    Hopefully Susan is around to correct me if I am wrong, but this is not a class action lawsuit. A class action lawsuit has so many potential plaintiffs that they cannot all be named.

  2. Finrod says:

    LOL!!! Ya got to post an initial warning though so I know not to drink a soda when reading. Something like “Warning, I am about to go medieval on someones ass!”

  3. TSO says:

    The odds of this case ever appearing inside a courtroom are mathematically less than my chance of being named the Queen of TROMSØ Norway in the next week. They are almost exactly the same as my being istalled as a puppet potentate of Svalbard.

  4. Just A Grunt says:

    Just another case for having tort reform. Loser pays.

  5. OldTrooper says:

    Alrighty then; that about sums it up nicely, TSO. I especially like the legalese you use in the last sentence of your fine missive.

  6. ponsdorf says:

    Not quite on topic, but perhaps indicative of a similar mindset?

    Just another day in Bizzaro world…

  7. NHSparky says:

    Jesus H. Tapdancin Christ. This looks like something Oily Taint made up while hitting the Nitrous Oxide a little too hard in her dentist’s chair.

  8. SassySuz says:

    I’m not sure I’m no lawyer, but would that not be a malicious lawsuit filed against myself and others. Could we not sue for legal expenses. Funny how short bus riders can come up with such crazy stuff. Than again most are truthers and other fringe type wackos in the first place.

  9. AW1 Tim says:

    As I mentioned in an earlier comment, Discovery works both ways.

    I’d just like to view the taped depositions when all of this is done. 🙂

  10. NHSparky says:

    Sassy…on the other thread is a link to his “chemtrails” resolution. Epic FAIL, but priceless.

  11. Hey Stevie:
    Working on a design to share with the many bloggers who’ll be lovin’ the roastin’ of your dumb ass. Plus, What TSO said.

    Nuf Sed

  12. Kresh says:

    See, my response wouldn’t have been so nuanced and polite. I would have merely asked “What’s it like being a giant pussy? It must suck having all that sand up there.”


  13. Carla says:

    Frankly, if you are going to work up a logo for this purpose would you try to have it wearing white athletic socks with a black suit and black dress shoes like the picture on Susman’s website?

    Yes, I am the Fashion Police today.

  14. TSO says:

    I had considered adding a Dennis Millerism in here by referencing Susman’s IQ as being the Planck’s Constant of IQs and then realized I would sound like an ass.

    So, I merely shifted it to the comment section.

  15. Lawyer for Hire says:

    A deed to Blackacre? Really? Thanks for the property flashbacks.

    Seriously though, I needed this laugh.

  16. Susan says:

    TSO – are those property flashcards getting to you?

  17. TSO says:

    You guys made my day by noting the Blackacre thing.

  18. Debra says:

    I found this hilarious, in spite of myself…or rather should I say, in spite of being completely neutral. (I’m not sure what that says about my character.)

  19. B Woodman says:

    Saayyyy, where can I buy a hit of whatever it is you’re ingesting . . .? Looks to be some righteous stuff, Steve dude. I mean, it’s workin’ for you? Isn’t it? Kewl, man.