Lighten up Francis….

| May 25, 2010

I don’t know whether to laugh, or blast this asshat. But since he is essentially attacking one of my best friends, a man who will be in my wedding, I wanted to say something.

Let’s start with this….I don’t know who Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard is, I don’t care who Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard is. No one has ever pointed me to his blog. I don’t know what kind of traffic he has, I only know he apparently writes about the Navy from the rather creepy picture he has of himself on an aircraft carrier. (He likes “creepy” so I am going to use it in a creepy fashion to address the infinitely creepy Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard.)

Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard begins this anal fissure of a post with an indictment of military blogs who apparently enticed an insane dude to shoot at police in Arkansas.

This weekend, as the nation mourns the loss of two dedicated law enforcement officers–shot at the hands of anti-government extremists (one suspect served in the  Army Reserves), I want to take a minute to address certain milblogs and anti-government rhetoric.

We milbloggers have a responsibility to be good stewards of civic behavior.  Anti-government rhetoric, “wink-wink” anti-government incitement and calls for violence must not find a place in America’s milblog community.

We milbloggers have a responsibility to be good stewards of civic behavior? What exactly do you mean by that Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard? How in the Holy name of Spongebob did we get assigned the role of being stewards of civic behavior? And where can I go to get my job description changed? See, without a PHD (from Harvard!) I am unable to divine without the help of my betters wherein I signed up to be the sole shepherd for the body politic of people in the civic square. In point of fact, I must have skipped that class, and someone forgot to share the notes.

Not content to merely lay the shooting at the feet of milbloggers (in our assumed role as good stewards of civic behavior), Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard then goes after my friend Matt. First with the hallmark vituperative, erudite, creepy (Yes! Worked it in again) and profligate panache which is formed in the crucible of Harvard PHD’s, Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard, assails a post by Crush from Blackfive. You can go read it for yourself, but in a manner only capable from an esteemed PHD from Harvard, Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard, provides an exhaustive synopsis worthy of Cliff (either of Cliff’s notes or the Klaven variety): “Creepy, huh? Not only is the post factually wrong, it’s a thinly-veiled call for violence.”

It’s times like this where I wish I had a trademark on the word “Creepy” but alas, my father bequeathed to me only one for the question mark.

Now, mind you that I read Crush’s post, couldn’t figure out what in the hell he was talking about, and immediately hit the back button. But, that is because I am merely a JD, George Mason University, it takes a Harvard PHD, someone of inestimable value and worth like Craig Hooper (the totally non-creepy PHD from Harvard) to turn it into a Ludlum novel worthy of such luminaries (but alas, not PHD’s from Harvard) as the SPLC, Robert Ludlum himself, Gordon Duff, Gordon Lightfoot, Gordon Gecko, the gecko from Geico, the Caveman from Geico, that caveman in the Pauly Shore movie and everyone who ever visited the shores of Tripoli, be they Marines or no.

But, enough of such intellectual minutea, back to our fisking of our friend Matt:

Being concerned, I wrote the publisher/founder of the site, Matt Burden, and expressed my feelings about the post. What I got back was not something I’d have expected from a patriotic American. Matt, for those who don’t know, is a former vet. He ran for elected office. He visited the White House. He serves on the Warrior Legacy Foundation. He is a trustee of Soldiers’ Angels and is a member of Team Rubicon’s Board. Matt even claims he “is currently consulting with the Obama administration on behalf of military and veterans affairs.”

In short, Matt is a guy who makes a good living by dressing up in the U.S. Flag.

Were I a less noble man, one who didn’t have the great honor of having read this intellectual bit of diamond in the roughage that is the intertubes, I might invite Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard to ponder best how one might fornicate with onesself. But alas, when addressing one such as he, a hallowed, venerable and (dare I say it?) almost Demigod among us flotsam of the milblog community, one must intellectually genuflect at the altar of Harvard PHDs. So, instead I will confine my comments to an unsuitable defense (for not all of us are equipped intellectually to be PHDs from Harvard) for my man Matt. (Woe that my synapsis fire at such a retarded rate as the hallowed PHDs of harvard.)

“Makes a good living” implies that Matt is somehow enriching himself at a rate that puts his lifestyle somewhere beyond the dreams of avarice (what movie?) and into the affluent ranks of such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Jk Rowling, and the aforementioned salamander of unknown (New Zealand?) origin who shills for the insurance company. Matt ran for office, and got beat like a drum at the Mummers Parade (for a job that pays jack shit a meager pittance); and WLF, SA and TR are small non-profits. I don’t know if Matt gets any money for any of them, but what I do know is if he does, that recompense wouldn’t come remotely close to bringing him up to even on what he pays to do his philanthropic work. But, I’m guessing that Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard, has no clue what he makes either. Here’s an idea which I’m sure, as a PHD from Harvard, Craig Hooper already has done but not shared, how about showing us the tax returns for those organizations and tell us what he gets paid.

Let us strive to be precise Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard: are we not the stewards of the civic behavior, and would this not fall under that? I would not stand for any cretin, Croation, crouton, catamite, Callipygian or other falsely accusing Craig Hooper (who I believe has his PHD from Harvard) of not having done his due diligence on behest of the body politic which he himself has donned the mantal of stewardship.

The assertion that Matt has become wealthy by dressing himself in the US Flag is noxious, perhaps noscible, a nidifice of nequient nerterology, certainly novaturient, but alas, also nepheliad. (That former section brought to you by dead words of the English language.) So, in the interests of protecting the hallowed name of Craig Hooper, indeed, in protecting the hallowed name of Harvard PHDs everywhere, I call on you, Craig Hooper (who, as memory serves has a PHD from Harvard) to precisely lay out your argument in a fashion which us mortals, creepy beings of our lower existence, the sheep to your shepherding, the vegetarian stew to your stewardship might more easily understand.

Failing that, how about putting up or shutting up?

Public School Degenerate.

Some other kernals of corn from the shit soup that is this post of our esteemed PHD from Harvard should have been included, but I lack the wit to properly defend, since alas, I am merely the spawn of public schools and the infantry:

* Please join me in calling out those milbloggers who traffic in anti-American rhetoric
* And now, two law enforcement officers are dead. Egged on by the violent anti-government rhetoric sites like Blackfive spew every single day. Blackfive’s anti-government rhetoric speaks for itself.
* I’m worried that guys who find community and strength in’s stock-and-trade of anti-government rhetoric will act upon what they read…
* If we–the responsible people–don’t do anything now, how will we feel when a vet in government service (or one of us, even) is killed by a vet who consumed too much of the stuff produces? Intervene. Join me.

As far as I am concerned, Craig Hooper, PHD from Harvard should go eat a heaping bag of steamed dicks take a Xanax.

Category: Politics

Comments (25)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

Sites That Link to this Post

  1. Fighting words (update) | Questions and Observations | May 25, 2010
  1. Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard said: “Matt, for those who don’t know, is a former vet.”
    Please tell me, Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard; how does one become a “former vet”?
    I didn’t go to College, (I was too busy learning Stuff), so perhaps I missed that one.
    Other than that, Phuck with Blackfive and you’ll have that violence that your sissy assed college edgimicated self are so afraid of.

    Nuf Sed

  2. S6R says:

    Can’t remember the movie, but the orginal quote is from the esteemed Samuel Johnson who said: “We are not here to sell a parcel of boilers and vats, but the potentiality of growing rich beyond the dreams of avarice.”

    To add my own quote to the esteemed genetleman from Harvard, I would like to quote Johnson’s famous biographer James Boswell who aptly stated “STFU no0b!”

    The bottom line-you know Matt. You know his deal, Harvard doesn’t. The rest is sticks and stones. That’s sadly what a lot of the internet interaction is.

  3. TSO says:

    Star Trek IV is what I was going for, the whales one, not all of us Non-Harvard non-PHD imbeciles quote Samuel Johnson of the famed Johnson and Johnson “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” duo.

  4. defendUSA says:

    What I take away from that screed is that he blames Matt for two law officers dying, and he is obviously jealous of Matt!! His admonsihing makes that clear. If his piled high and deep degree learned him anything it would have been to use reason and logic and apply it here.

    Apparently, that idiot never got the meaning of the oath we all took, did he? And that most of us gladly give up time and money to continue to serve for our fellow comrades.

    You see, how much money Blackfive makes has no bearing in his ability to blog or serve in other capacities and be a man of his word. If the idiot in question had checked the tenets of it clearly states the intent. It does not say that the truth will be circumvented, nor does it say that any contributor to the site must censor their personal beliefs.

    As uncle J would say, this guy deserves a nice hot cup of STFU.

  5. Blackfive says:

    I don’t get money or tangible benefits from working for Team Rubicon, Soldiers Angels or the Warrior Legacy Foundation (or anything that he listed). I do get intangible benefits like helping vets and military families.

    I work a 9-6 job that has nothing to do with the military or the feds or the flag (for that matter).

    Here’s the email string in it’s entirety between me and Craig Hooper (Harvard PhD):

    Matt- is your your site, right? And you are the resident adult, yes? I mean, you ran for government, right? And, yet…you condone content like Crush’s recent opus (link below). On your Internet property?

    If you take ownership of this sort of stuff…I dunno, man. Frankly, I’m really concerned about this kind of talk. It’s raw, unhinged incitement of the “maybe the FBI should look into who writes this stuff” variety.

    If you condone this, then…ok. I’ll have learned something about you and your site. But…seriously. I’d feel better about you and your site if you took a moment to discuss with your fellow Internet residents the differences between “loyal opposition” and “opposition.”

    What are your thoughts on this?

    Craig Hooper

    Also states that our debt began sharply increasing in 2006. Wasn?t that when our beloved Democrats took over both houses of Congress?

    At some point we must begin to ask ourselves ? what is treason? The federal government has done more damage to this country than if the Soviet Union had invaded during the Cold War. Now if we captured members of the Red Army, there would be military tribunals and they would be shot. I am NOT advocating such treatment for our elected officials. However, we should realize the gravity of the situation our nation finds itself thanks to their lust for power.

    Is the destruction of our republic somehow more palatable if it is perpetrated by domestic enemies rather than foreign ones?

    May 19 (6 days ago)
    to craig.hooper

    show details May 19 (6 days ago)

    Hi Craig-

    I haven’t checked the site today.

    I might not agree with him. I don’t censor the authors. We occasionally contradict or disagree with each other in public. For example, we have disagreed about the use of the ROE and COIN in Afghanistan. Crush is all about fight first, ask questions later. I’m of the opinion that COIN is one tool to use (after you secure an area – it’s useless before that). And others are COIN disciples.

    If you care to, you can email him at


    show details May 20 (4 days ago)


    Thanks for the note. I may ding your guy a bit, but…hell, everybody’s got their windmill to tilt at, you know?

    Gotta say, COIN doctrine fighting is one sticky thing I’ve managed not to step into during my blogging career. I do wish we had more wired-in and culturally savvy “regional” troopers (and diplomats). Having trained a few youthful Chinese future diplomats, I gotta say that they’re being really systematic in getting their kids trained up–the folks I had already knew where they were going to spend the rest of their careers. And (outside of a little Taiwan-oriented information gathering) they focused on their future like a laserbeam.

    The US soldiers I’ve had have been enthusiastic but…the tasks they undertook were–well, for lack of a better description, not up to the COIN civil engagement challenge. I’ve had great soldiers that tell me about, oh, say, an effort to build a “US-spec” ferry for a certain Afghan town that, well, would make your head spin. They (from top levels on down) had a tough time stepping out of their suburban lifestyle. And that didn’t go too well in the ‘Stan.

    You read anything about Landsdale?


  6. defendUSA says:

    In reading Matt’s comment…This guy is like another,AHSP, er, um a chestpuffer. It’s clear he wants what he cannot have. The loyalty of the followers of Blackfive and the Farm team!! It would suck to be that PHD.

  7. OldTrooper says:

    The interesting thing that the Pimp and Ho Degreed Hooper seems to be lacking is how he came to the conclusion that they were “anti-gummint” types? Seems to me that most of the violent anti-gummint types of late have been from the left side of the fence, but we wouldn’t want to wreck a good conclusion based on the Pimp and Ho Degree; would we? Not that this mental midget would understand that the venerable Matty O’ Blackfive and his merry band of marauders have gone after everyone that shows their ass. They make no political or ideological distinction. They don’t need to because they call an asshole an asshole no matter who it is. I guess Havahd is where you learn nuance instead of truth.

    As a PS once said “why use a 7-8 letter word when a 4 letter word gets the point made quicker?” In that spirit I say Fuck off asshole.

  8. OldCavLt says:

    Here’s what I have concluded (FWIW)

    I know neither of these troops personally. But I’ve been reading BLACKFIVE for quite some time and on my blog he has his own “button” above the blog list.

    I admit I don’t have any letters after my name, either.

    From reading “Harvard” or reading B5, it’s a simple question: If the bad guys were coming after my OP, who would I want in there with me to keep them from taking it?

    And this is me saying it ain’t “Harvard.”

  9. Adirondack Patriot says:

    Speaking of shooting and civility, didn’t the University of Alabama professor who allegedly shot three colleagues also graduate from Harvard University?

    Does he think Amy Bishop learned about such civility at Harvard?

    Oh, and how about that other Harvard graduate, Ted Kaczinski? You think the Unibomber learned about such civility at Harvard?

    Trying to pin the Memphis shooting on milbloggers is just as delusional as pinning blame for Bishop and Kaczinski on Harvard.

    But since he is a former Marine working in Berkeley at the Goldman School of Public Policy at the University of California at Berkeley, he could teach the City Council and his leftist university colleagues about civility when they recklessly demonstrate at the Marine Corps Recruiting Office.

  10. 509th Bob says:

    What little I know about the police officer killings is that the perps claim to be “sovereign citizens,” basically conspiracy-theory nutjobs who follow no rational political ideology. I, and another prosecutor, prosecuted two of them (in Arkansas)a little over 10 years ago for murdering a family of three in order to steal the family’s merchandise. The two perps were neo-Nazis who planned to create their own little Aryan People’s Republic.

    As to Crush’s post, I would consider the “sovereign citizens” a domestic enemy. When I look at the actions of the so-called “Progessives” in Congress and the White House, and compare their actions with the text of the Constitution, I share Crush’s expressed concern.

    Finally, turning to Craig Hooper, Harvard PHD, it doesn’t appear that he has ever actually served in the military. And, as he was called out in the comments of his own post, he is attempting to use the leftist concern-troll trick of holding milbloggers to a standard-of-review that is set by him, and him alone. Hell, he’s even based in San Francisco, a justification all by itself to ignore this idiot’s blathering.

  11. AW1 Tim says:

    Craig Hooper, Petty Harvard Dilettante. I wonder how much Axelrod pays him for these little ankle-biting attacks?

    Dilettante: (just so there’s no misunderstanding)

  12. IronKnight says:

    Well, one way to get attention is to take on a giant.
    I don’t need a PhD to figure that out.

  13. Hmmm. Were I to consider such things, I would submit that Mr. Harvard PhD appears to be suffering with feelings of inadequacy. Sad for him, size matters. Blackfive’s is bigger (not that I know for sure, DADT doncha’ know). Heck, I knew a four-year-old girl who was bigger and probably could write a more coherent post from the standpoint of logic and fact. Must really suck to be a certain Harvard Ph.D.

  14. Nucsnipe says:

    PhD stands for Publicly humiliated Dickhead right?

  15. AW1 Tim says:

    Also: “Piled Higher & Deeper”.

  16. Penny says:

    TSO you are like the George Carlin of millbloggers…I haven’t laughed this hard in, gosh, 3 minutes.
    Mr. PhD, Harvard reminds me of that old saying…those that can, do and those that can’t, teach.

  17. Jacobite says:

    I would hope Mr. Havahhhd PhD’s education at this country’s grand institution included at least a small bit of philosophical exposure. Unfortunately I would guess that he is given to resting on his laurels by touting the experience of others he was taught to revere, while missing the essential point of learning, it never ends. In the interest of expanding Mr. Hooper’s philosophical knowledge, I offer a few select passages from some of history’s great thinkers and achievers. Gaining wisdom from them is entirely his responsibility.

    It seems appropriate (in this sense an adjective rather than a verb) to start with this jewel;

    “Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one.”
    Lord Chesterfield

    And we can continue with;

    “Erudition can produce foliage without bearing fruit.”
    Georg C. Lichtenberg

    “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring; There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain; And drinking largely sobers us again.”
    Alexander Pope (21 May 1688 – 30 May 1744)

    “Ignorance of all things is an evil neither terrible nor excessive, nor yet the greatest of all; but great cleverness and much learning, if they be accompanied by a bad training, are a much greater misfortune.”

    “Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.”
    Mark Twain

    “The mind of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above its proper value.”
    Oscar Wilde

    And as a student of the Enlightenment, I offer up one of my favorites for Mr. Havahhhd’s consideration –

    “Till a man can judge whether they be truths or not, his understanding is but little improved, and thus men of much reading, though greatly learned, but may be little knowing.”
    John Locke

    I offer this, that Mr.Craig Hooper has much to learn about judging, both people and situations. Sad and scary to think he may be helping to train a small number of future Chinese diplomats……

  18. Old Tanker says:

    Trying to get some milblogging creds by kicking the biggest guy on the playground in the balls….that’s not smart, that’s kinda creepy

  19. Maggie says:

    I love you, TSO – Public School Degenerate.

  20. TSO says:

    Public Schools in Massachusetts no less Maggie. Now, doesn’t that make you worry about your state taxes…

    Mount Everett Regional High School. The Eagles.

  21. Spade says:

    Hooper used to post as DefenseSpringboard. The best you can say about this guy is that he has the ability to come of as such a jerk that he can successfully turn people away from good ideas. I’ve seen him post decent things on USNI but come off as such an arrogant ass that people just dismiss it. He also posts a lot of crap, of course.

    Also, considering what his PhD is in he’s a prime example of: “Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are to think so.” Which also fits his attitude.

  22. Maggie says:

    Spade, you are absolutely correct. He blogged there anonymously and threw rocks at a very fine Naval officer.

    This is not the first time Craig has made unjust accusations at honorable people.

    He is an immature jerk with low self esteem.

    Not many people get a second chance out of me (I know, I should be niceer), but Craig did. I am – as we say in Boston – mental mad at him.

    BTW, you know the PhD is in i”mmunology and Infectious Diseases”, right? It has nothing to do with this field.

  23. Spade says:

    I totally forgot about that incident, Maggie. You should probably post the links for those that didn’t get to read it the first time around.

    Also, I should totally go get my PhD in Military History or a related field. Then I can go forth and talk about disease patterns in Africa or something.

  24. Scott B says:

    I’m sorry, but the thing that is missing the most from all this B/S is UJ’s verbal clothesline.