Weekly post about Hasan’s beard

| August 16, 2012

Apparently, Nidal Hasan, the Fort Hood murderer, read The Duffel Blog post about the awesomeness of having a beard and refuses to be tried without his beard, because, like everyone else, he thinks The Duffel Blog is real. Hasan wants to plead guilty to 13 counts of murder, but the judge won’t let him because it’s a capital case and the prosecutor is seeking the death penalty. The judge also wants Hasan in the courtroom during the trial so he he doesn’t have grounds for an appeal, but Hasan refuses to shave his beard, according to Stars & Stripes;

Hasan has grown the beard in violation of Army regulations, and Gross has not allowed him to stay in the courtroom, saying the beard is a disruption. However, the judge said he wants Hasan in the room during the the court-martial to prevent a possible appeal on the issue if he is convicted. He said Hasan would be forcibly shaved at some point before the trial if he didn’t shave the beard himself.

Hasan’s attorneys have said he won’t shave because the beard is an expression of his Muslim faith. Hasan also has had a premonition that his death is imminent, his attorneys said.

“He does not wish to die without a beard as he believes not having a beard is a sin,” one of Hasan’s attorneys wrote in his appeal to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces.

Funny but all of those years that he was going to school on the taxpayers’ dime, he didn’t think it was a sin. All of those years he wore a uniform it wasn’t a sin. Like I’ve said, if they need a volunteer, I’ll fly at my own expense to Fort Hood and shave his monkey ass myself, free of charge. Neither of us have working legs, so it’ll be an even match. Anyway, the judge says there won’t be anymore delays and the trial will begin on Monday, come Hell or high water.

I don’t know how the Army thinks they can gather the collective testicular fortitude to put Hasan to death when they can’t even make him shave.

Category: Shitbags, Terror War

Comments (43)

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  1. Hondo says:

    Here’s my suggestion: strap him down and trim the beard to about 1/8 in with clippers. Then use Magic Shave or a similar product to remove the rest.

    Two advantages: (1) he can’t squirm around and inflict injuries for propaganda purposes, and (2) we can put out the story that he was so effete that we only needed to use a depilatory rather than a razor. (smile)

  2. StrikeFO says:

    Jonn: Love the dig at people who think it is real.

    I think in our next “Barracks Lawyer” advice segment, we’ll definitely add in not shaving to delay your court martial until eventually the drop the charges.

  3. Former3c0 says:

    They should laser his face, keep it from ever growing back.

  4. Hondo says:

    Laser hair removal is expensive, Former3co. Magic Shave is pretty cheap. I’d prefer we not waste any more $$$ on this asshole than necessary.

    And after the SOB is convicted, I don’t really care if he has a beard when he’s sent to meet Shaitan.

  5. Old Tanker says:

    Jonn, when you shave him please use a rusty butter knife….

  6. Former3c0 says:

    Yeah Hondo but laser is permanent, so he’d die a sinner in his own eyes ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Hondo says:

    True. But he’s still not worth the wasted $$$ and effort.

    And given his conduct I suspect he’ll end up meeting Shaitan vice Allah whether or not he has a beard.

  8. J.M. says:

    Do we need a new blog tag? Beard Watch?

  9. NCPPCShooter says:

    Former3c0- He wouldn’t die a sinner in his own eyes because like many of his ilk, his faith is a matter of convenience based on the level of inconvenience it provides others, or potential bleading heart sympathy it can garner for him.

  10. Marine_7002 says:

    Use a lawn mower. His beard looks like it’s getting that thick. Might be a mole or two burrowed in there somewhere, so it might get a bit bloody, so they oughta have a few towels handy to clean things up.

  11. Steadfast&Loyal says:

    I don’t know why the judge is going along with this BS. Hassan is a soldier (whether we want to admit it or not). he is under millitary jursidiction which has appearence standards.

    He shaves. No question about it. Its just a delay tactic.

    besides every Muslim in the world should demand it to be shaved off. My 8 year old could grow a better one….dear gawd.

  12. Steadfast&Loyal says:

    It’s alomst like he shaved his pubs and glued it to his face.

  13. Flagwaver says:

    The original claim from the attorney was that the beard was for Ram-a-Dan. Now, it seems the attorney lied to the court.

  14. Gerald says:

    @OLD Tanker,
    In addition to using a rusty old butter knife make sure it’s coated in bacon grease when you do shave him

  15. Scubasteve says:

    Detainees get shaved all the time prior to transport. I’m sure the military could find an MP that is familiar with the beard and head shaving process and get this over with.

    Three years ago this guy [allegedly] murdered 13 people and his facial hair is holding up the legal process. A beard! No hair on head, but his chin pubes are the key to heaven for him. If it wasn’t so serious, I’d almost think the Duffel Blog wrote this story too.

  16. Stew says:

    I’d recommend hot wax for the beard. Pretty sure he’s not gonna measure up well in the sin department anyway, since murder is a slightly more serious offense than a clean-shaven face, whether you’re reading the Bible or the Quran.

  17. LZ says:

    John, your generous offer to fly down there and shave him has humbled me. I would also like to offer my services. I’ll fly down and execute him on my own dime. the only thing I’d ask in return is that the execution be public and is carried out with a frozen pork shoulder.

  18. Trent says:

    At risk of being the devil’s advocate here and a disclaimer that Hasan killed a friend of mine (MAJ Caraveo and I served with JTF-GTMO in 2004-05). I even hate bringing it up because MAJ Caraveo was a good man without a hating bone in his body.

    Not being a lawyer (but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night), I’m thinking the judge may have a problem with the beard ruling. There are at least two soldiers serving who wear beards in uniform due to their religion in either the National Guard or Army Reserve. Granted they are rabbis, but they were given religious exemptions. The one I distinctly remember, COL Rabbi Goldstein and has served on several active duty tours and was very visible after September 11th.

    I foresee Hasan’s defense team trying to use that in order to stretch the proceedings out even longer.

  19. Old Tanker says:

    Don’t know Trent,

    That would mean ALL Hassidic(sp?) Jews and Muslims would get exemptions…I don’t think that would fly.

  20. PintoNag says:

    Everyone deserves a choice. For him, how about this?

    Keep beard = firing squad
    Lose beard = trial

  21. UpNorth says:

    Use a weed whacker on him.

  22. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    PN, LOVE your thinking! I vote for him keeping the beard!? I’ll buy the bullets and deliver them personally!

  23. Trent says:

    OT, I remember a muslim female soldier was profiled in the Army Times because of her beliefs. She was enlisted and wore her hajib from day one of basic training. So there have been others.

    I hate Hasan with a passion. I would love to use the shaving technique a Roman emperor used, hot coals, to remove that bastiche’s facial abnormality.

  24. Frank says:

    Can we just douse the motherfucker in Napalm and bring what’s left of him to the courtroom? Ten bucks says he doesn’t have a beard afterward.

  25. DefendUSA says:

    I say discharge the buddy fucker and then try him. Why wouldn’t that work? Goddamned taxpayers are being taken to the shed…I am sick of it. Two years is too long.

  26. PavePusher says:

    I suggest a rusty straight-razor, using bacon grease instead of shave cream.

  27. B Woodman says:

    #26 – Concour. Use bacon grease and other pork products liberally on “him”. Shaving, constipation, sun screen & lotion, whatever your imagination can come up with. Even a pulled pork sammich with baked beans cooked in lard for “his” last meal.

  28. Nicki says:

    I like Frank’s idea. I was thinking of forcibly shaving the piece of shit with a chainsaw. I’ll volunteer. I’ll do it slowly and gently… promise…

  29. streetsweeper says:

    Ok, this is how I sort of see things. If Big Army were to try Hashithead as a civie, that would suit Holder like a mo fo. That puts the ball right in his court….However, there is a chance that Texas would have a shot at him. Texas residents were killed or wounded so I am fairly confident that Texas DPS has done their homework since they were lead agency and not CID or FBI. Rest assured if that is the case, Hashithead would be parked in Huntsville awaiting his eventual fate and Texas has a record of delivering…..screw his beard and the camel he rode in on.

  30. Mike says:

    I’m no lawyer, jail house or otherwise, but I wonder why they just can’t order him to shave. When he doesn’t, charge him with failure to obey an order and proceed. Granted, it wouldn’t add much to a death sentence, but at least it will get him closer to the needle or whatever the military uses these days.

  31. Squid Wiz says:

    You know the sad thing? Even if Hasan receives the death penalty, he will likely die of natural causes before hes executed. The military has not executed anyone since JFK was in office and theres no way the current POTUS, with his political leanings and sympathies, is going to sign off on that execution order. If there was ever someone who deserved the death penalty, its probably this guy however given the fact that he’ll be tied up in appeal for what will probably be decades, I almost wish that they had offered him life in prison without the possibility of parole and saved the survivors and the tax payers the pain and expense of trying this POS. His “cultural expert” alone has cost the US taz payer over $250K already.

    And then theres the bigger issue in my mind. This anus wanted to be a martyr. Executing him gives him what he wants. I would much rather give him life and let him sit in a dark hole somewhere, out of collective consciousness, rotting away as the nobody he is. A couple of guards at Leavenworth looking the wrong way in the shower could help with a slow, repeated application of justice without giving this guy the soapbox that he desires.

  32. Old Tanker says:

    Nicki…..why gently?

  33. Mark says:

    @18 Trent, The beard actually has to do with his duties as a Rabbi, hence it’s waivered. Hasan is not a Mullah/Holy man, he is a Psychiatrist, no cross contamination.

    As for what should be done, I volunteer to bless the pig through which the firing squad will shoot, unfortunately Hasan would be on the other side. According to I believe the Bhuddist Firing squad tradition, Hasan isn’t the target, the pig is. Sucks to be him.

  34. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:



    1 sheet of 4 x 8 plywood
    1 drill with a 1/4 bit
    1 roll of bailing wire
    1 roll of duct tape
    1 disposable razor
    1 can of Navy Exchange shaving cream (use coupon)
    1 box of Navy Exchange small bandaids (use coupon)
    1 loud boom box
    * music by AC/DC “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheep”


    Note: Obtain written permission from CO first.

    1. Drill sufficient number of holes in plywood.
    2. Using bailing wire and drilled holes, secure prisoner tighly to plywood.
    3. Apply duct tape to forehead to ensure prisoner does not move head.
    4. Commence music selection for the prisoner.
    5. Apply shaving cream on prisoner.
    6. Shave beard off prisoner.
    7. Apply bandaids to prisoner.
    8. Remove duct tape from prisoner.
    9. Remove bailing wire from plywood.
    10. Secure musical selection.
    11. Escort clean shaven prisoner back to isolation cell.


  35. Eric says:

    @34: Keep in mind Chief, this whole project will be half-off (50% cheaper!) since he’s paralyzed from the waist down. So, even easier. Sounds like a plan to me. Not like he’s Rambo and will have flashbacks when the crew tries to shave him, where would he roll off to anyway?

    Letting Texas have him: Don’t see that happening with the current administration. I could only hope that when the administration changes in a few months, the new guys change the bullshit “workplace violence” moniker on this.

    Since 2001 the Army’s “comprehended” the severe shortage of chaplains and as such eased up on some rules to get rabbis and the like to join. As well, there is at least one Sikh who has a beard in the Army. HOWEVER, there are plenty of Muslims without beards (even, gasp! in the military), its not a sin to not have a beard, its a sin to murder others…oh, wait.

  36. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    @35 Thanks for reminding me. Half-off (50% cheaper) that is awesome. I forgot the police shot him right through the spinal cord … Wow that sucks. I will save the coupons too.

  37. Ex-PH2 says:

    Let me have a go at it. Meat cleaver, horse clippers, no mercy. And then make him eat it.

  38. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, and ramadan ends on Saturday, 8/18.

  39. Bubblehead Ray says:

    I would never use a blade to shave his beard. I vote to use a butane torch.

    How do you make a murdering dickhead sound like a dog?


  40. Joe Williams says:

    Closed circuit TV?

  41. Anonymous says:

    You guyz are meanies!

  42. MCPO GOING MAD USN (Ret.) says:

    He needs to be presentable for court …. we can’t just hack him up or burn him till he looks like a legless rasin man in a wheel chair … although not a bad image considering what HE HAS done.

  43. PintoNag says:

    MSN says trial delayed because of beard issue.