Reporter researches Kung Fu Phooey finally

| December 6, 2012


Average NCO sends us a link from the folks who did the original article on Kung Fu Phooey, Jerry Partain who we wrote about in September and they found the things that we doubted. He’s never been a Marine, so it follows that he’s never been a POW. They also discovered that his claim to have been wrestler in the 1964 Olympic team was also a fabrication.

Attempts by the reporter to speak with Partain since the story was published have been unsuccessful.

Well, that’s probably because he’s such a good ninja, they’ll never see him again. Until it’s too late. It looks like they used the letter that we posted to dispute his military service, and a list of living POWs exists on the Pentagon’s website, so I wonder why it took them over a month to post their correction. Anyway, the story is gone, so is the cache copy and it doesn’t show up on the Wayback Machine – Ninja magic, dude. But TAH magic is stronger – guess what is the #1 search result on Google for “Jerry Partain”.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (24)

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    The Jedi master lives.

  2. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    Yeah, well, you would have been hard pressed to find that Partain update on 30 Novemvber, the date it ran. A reader would have had to say, “Golly, I’ll hit the Corrections link and see what, if anything, is there.” In other words, once the false claims were laid out fot these hard-hittin’ news boys and girls, the conversation probably went like this:

    “Some guy called and emailed some stuff on that Partain fella we just featured. It doesn’t look good. Partain fed us mush and we licked the plate. Wait a few weeks and do another piece. Just lay out the bare claims and lack of corroboration. Oh, and stuff it in the “Corrections” corner. According to our tracking data, only a few readers go there each week.”

  3. Just Plain Jason says:

    Next thing you are going to tell me is that Frank Dux didn’t fight in a death match Kumate!

  4. Instinct says:

    #3 – BLASPHEMY!!!

  5. …I think he was also the door gunner on the Space Shuttle….

  6. Green Thumb says:

    This guy is extra tough.


  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    No. The soles of my shoes are tough.

    This guy is pseudo-tuff.

  8. Hack Stone says:

    Well, other than being a retired Marine Corps Major, Vietnam POW and a US Olympic Wrestling Team member, everything else was correct, wasn’t it? And you would think that if the VC or North Vietnamese were holding a US Olympic athlete, they may have wanted to exploit that for propaganda purposes.

  9. ANCCPT says:

    He reminds of me of the guy in Napoleon Dynamite… Rex Kwan Do.
    “Bow to your Sensei….BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!!!!”
    Get a pair of American Flag pants dude, that ratty old bathrobe has to go.

  10. Just Plain Jason says:

    Frank Dux beating up Super Mario!

  11. LebbenB says:

    Sqeaky wheel gettin’ some grease.

  12. El Marco says:

    If this guy’s a Chinese martial arts expert, why is he wearing a Japanese outfit?

  13. Green Thumb says:

    Notice that tough guy look of extreme constipation.

    Love the background too.

  14. Green Thumb says:

    Trying hard to pull off that Richard Chamberlin “Shogun” look.

    I wonder if he bats the same way?

    Probably need to check with “Ranger” Burrell…

  15. Green Thumb says:


  16. Green Thumb says:

    This turd could make a deep tourney run.

  17. ghp95134 says:

    The martial artist part of me wishes to respond.

    Background: I’ve been involved in iaido (Japanese swordsmanship) since 1970; specifically Mugai Ryu (1970-73), Toyama Ryu (since 1983 ~ 2005), and Nakamura Ryu in Japan, directly under Nakamura Taizauburo (1990 ~ 2005). I have a 7th dan ranking and a renshi teaching license.

    I want to know why a 2nd degree black belt (his last mentioned rank) was awarded a renshi license by Fusei Kisei sensei (who is legitimate). And if he did in fact receive Renshi, why is calling himself “Hanshi”? In kendo and other fencing schools, a 5th degree is eligible to take the renshi exam.

    Most traditional arts that use the renshi-kyoshi-hanshi “shogo” licensing system set time-in-grade and specified minimum ranks. Generally most of those traditions (but not all) have a similar program:

    Renshi. 5~6th dan. Instructor License
    Kyoshi. 7~8th dan. Teacher License
    Hanshi. 8th ~ 10th dan. Master License. Minimum age about 70 years old

    Wiki: “Shogo system awarding Renshi, Kyoshi, Hanshi, against suitability as a role model to some members of the Kodansha ranks of 6th, 7th and 8th dan. Renshi and Kyoshi are awarded on written examination and Hanshi by election. There is some debate amongst some kendoka about the fairness of the Kyoshi test which — unlike the equivalent for Renshi — must be written in Japanese….”

    For renshi, I had to take a written examination … in Japanese.

    So, I’m just wondering if he was awarded Renshi … then why is he calling himself “Hanshi”????

    And … no one — NO ONE — uses the shogo title (i.e., “Hanshi”) when talking to a teacher (much less refering to oneself by the license)! My teacher was hanshi 10th dan (battodo & jukendo; “only” 7th dan kyoshi in kendo) — a well-known swordsman; yet, we called him “sensei.”


  18. Green Thumb says:



    You seem legit.

    I implore you: fix it on your end.

  19. OldSargeUSAR says:

    @19 –

    Yikes, you got my head spinning. Way above and beyond my Far Eastern pay grade.
    I agree with The Thumb. Dispose of this phony bastard, Asian style. Teach him hara-kiri.

  20. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @21. Makes sensi to me. I tried sushi once. It gave me the runshis.

  21. Hack.Stone says:

    I was once run over by a Toyota. Oh, what a feeling.

    Can anyone name what movie I pulled that from? To help, it was a martial arts parody.

  22. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’m still confused by chopsticks. How can you possibly eat soup with them?