SVT 2013 last day of semifinals

| August 1, 2013

This post brought to you by “Navy Captain Paul S Hammer” who is totally not anyone other than the real Navy Captain Paul S. Hammer who apparently reached such a high rank despite an inability to read, write, and know the actual name of the group he works for.

Nonetheless, in our unending goal of ensuring pure biased hate and attacks on either other Vets, or Civilians involved in our system of Government, as to pure ransacking of strangers on the Internet, cyber attacks, cyber squads, pure lurid speech, and no different than street Hate Crimes against minorities or gays, under some banner of protecting Veterans War Deorations, I would ask that you vote on this last day.

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Category: Stolen Valor Tournament

Comments (38)

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  1. FC2 Dewclaw says:

    LOL! Now that was funny!

  2. O-4E says:

    And it is Monkeyass for the win…thanks to the good ol’ Cap’n

  3. Ex-PH2 says:

    You make awfully tough, TSO, but I do appreciate the references.

    I just live in hope that one day, that fat bastard whats-his-name will go completely ’round the bed and step on his own inguinal protruberance so hard, he cries.

  4. ExHack says:

    I refuse to vote Monkress. That would give Psul the continuing gratification he craves.

  5. A Proud Infidel says:

    I’m with you ExHack! Anymore, I look at Phillip Dale Monkress like I would look at a dead cockroach in a warehouse.

  6. A Proud Infidel says:

    Paul “Pee Wee Herman” Wickre, aka “Navy Captain Paul S. Hammer”, I could eat two bowls of alphabet soup and SHIT a more coherent statement than what you posted!!

  7. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    That second paragraph says it all! Please consider adding it to the “About Us” page. Thanks.

  8. Sparks says:

    Phil got so much press because of Paul I had to go with Tesla. Plus I was a young CAP cadet once. Then Shadner for having family members, minus a limb here or there. Giduck was close though. This was almost a heart felt decision for me and that is not often. Somehow I think Phil would have taken the win as another merit badge. Plus, I know Monkress is not over. His business will eventually suffer for this.

  9. Combat Historian says:

    Believe it or not, I think it may come down to spanky vs. ladner in the finals. This has been an extraordinary year in terms of the poser scum that have been exposed, and there may be an upset in the making…

  10. LebbenB says:

    Spanky FTW!

  11. NHSparky says:

    Still gotta go with Monkeyass. His BS is 20 years in the making and the fact he gets someone nuttier than squirrel shit to fight his battles for him like a retarded Batman and Robin Dumb-atic Duo just seals it for me.

    Oh, that and the fact that his lies resulted in fraudlent awarding of government contracts. Unca Shuga don’t like that.

  12. GiducksLeftBall says:

    – Giduck has profited off the death of schoolchildren at Beslan and built an entire business around the event

    – Giduck said that “he was there” at Beslan and wrote about the ongoing siege in his book, Terror At Beslan, even though he was in his XL underoos in Colorado the entire time

    – John Giduck infiltrated the Special Operations Association (SOA) through promises of free legal work and gained access to all of their membership lists, planning, and revenue while at the same time maintaining friendships with high level Russian intelligence officials

    – John Giduck has high powered folks doing his lying for him. These include Brad Thor, Dave Grossman, ST6 plankholder John Mason, Delta’s Mel Wick, and others.

    – John Giduck released the PII of Special Forces soldiers but hid the face and identity of Russian soldiers in secret military units.

    – John Giduck let others maintain that he held “our nation’s highest security clearance”

    Never mind the dating a cop killer, proudly associating with a group that the Washington Times says bombed a US Embassy, ITAR violations, you won’t find a more..umm..well rounded…poser than John Giduck.

  13. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    Navy Captain Paul S Hammer sounds like he has some small unresolved childhood issues that need attention. But that is OK because … he is good enough, smart enough, and people like him!

    “Ladner the Leg Man” and “Monkeyress the Best Contractor ever to defraud the Federal Gummint” are going all the way!

  14. Ex-PH2 says:

    As much as I detest Giduck, because he’s such a whackadoodle blowhole, Ladner is the root cause of his wife’s major injury. She has to live with that for the rest of her life and I don’t think he gives a crap. She’s paying for his lies.

    Pitching Spanky Spankerella against Mondress was brilliant. Monkress has been scrambling to cover his tracks, which means that he actually does have some sense of right and wrong, he just doesn’t apply it. Spanky, on the other hand, just keeps on chucking out the verbal diarrhea, no holds barred. I think she’d keep it up even if you put her on sodium pentathol.

    Spanky Tesal v. Ladner — Dream Team of Blowhards and Liars

  15. ChipNASA says:

    What we have Failure to Communicate. Some Men you just can’t reach. So you get what we have here last week….which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it.
    I don’t like it, anymore then you guys.

  16. David says:

    Now I can be a nice guy…. or I can be a mean sumbitch…..

    Name’s Shanghai McCoy. Sailed the seven seas, been everywhere, seen everything, done everything… and that’s how I know people are no damn good.

  17. Green Thumb says:

    I foresee Phildo oozing into the finals.

  18. Smaj says:

    As to “Navy Captain Psul S. Hammer”: Anchors aweigh, buddy. As to. As to.

  19. Nicki says:

    I voted for Tesla, because a) we’ve never had a female winner, and b) I HATE HATE HATE looking at Monkeyass’ face. It’s like looking at a fresh, squishy, smelly turd in the bowl. You just can’t wait to flush, and look away in disgust, hoping that none of dregs get left over so you have to flush again.

  20. Flagwaver says:

    I understand the whole “never had a female winner” thing with Tesla, but since the TAH EEO NCO is currently out back turning tricks, I don’t think that this is necessarily an Affirmative Action blog.

    I have two reasons for my vote of Monkress.

    First, when he found that he couldn’t intimidate us, he decided to sick his Ball Mastiff on us. Unfortunately, all that resulted in was some piss stains on the carpet, his office couch being molested, and a trail of shit dragged across his carpet. In all, this would be the perfect ending for a perfect escapade.

    Secondly, and more importantly, when/if he wins the Stolen Valor Tournament, we can contact the local newspapers and stations around APL and his hometown and let them know of the “honor” he has received. I’m sure that will drum up lots of public support for him.

    So, my reasons go beyond the fact that Paul K. Wickre has come in growling and snarling and been turned away time after time whimpering with his tail, wet with his own urine, turned so far between his legs that he thought his penis had gotten bigger and his pubic hair finally come in.

  21. LebbenB says:

    @16. “Tool Head Ladner”

    “Shovel Hand Gidduck”

    “Fool Hand Monkress”

    “Lewd Hand Tesla”

  22. ChipNASA says:

    @22…LMAO…. NAILED it.

  23. Green Thumb says:

    There remains no doubt in my mind after seeing Gidduck’s less than slick moves with his shovel that he can tunnel through everyone’s shit to cross the finish line.

  24. Nicki says:

    Flagwaver, I completely understand that this is not an EEO blog. Neither is mine. Trust me on that one. I get about as politically incorrect as anyone you’ll ever meet. I just think it would be interesting to have a female winner. Additionally, I think she’s more crazy than Monkeyass. I thought the Cock Inhaler needed to win last year, because he was SO nucking futs! Same goes for this one. Monkeyass is more egregious in the overall seriousness of the situation, but Tesla is just… holy shit way more crazy!

    And what I said about looking at that shitsucking face of his… that’s true too. Honestly, he makes me want to vomit every time I see a photo of him.

  25. Green Thumb says:


    Hate to say it but “pukeworthiness” is a MAJOR asset in this tournament.

  26. Hondo says:

    FWIW, here’s my “take”.

    Tesla and Ladner – meh. Both are simple, run-of-the-mill SV cases. Each was simply trying to get something they never earned (Ladner, free stuff; Tesla, honors). The damage each caused was relatively localized and in general minor – only exceptionally bad luck led to Ladner’s wife getting hurt. We see this crap all the time at TAH.

    Ditto for Monkress, but on steroids. He managed to parlay the skills he learned in the Navy, with the addition of glib BS, into a significant government contracting business. We see this quit a bit here as well.

    Giduck . . . is different. He is a classic SV case of using false vet claims to chase $$$ (he actually served only a few weeks, yet falsely claims “black ops” expertise, Belsan, etc . . . ). Yet he’s taken it to another level: he’s actually gone after some folks who really have “been there, done that” in the courts. Like last year’s winner Dildo-berto, he’s the truly dangerous one in this crowd. He deserves – no needs – to be burned.

    Ergo, my slogan for this year’s SVT: “Vote for the Shovel. It’s important.”

    (Bonus points to anyone who can ID the political campaign the original of that slogan came from [smile])

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      One factor that no one is taking into account is that the SOCNET guys have taken an interest in this tournament and they’re pulling for their Giduck fellow. Several dozens of them have been voting everyday.

  27. JAGC says:

    I’m with Hondo in that I vote for the finalists who are truly dangerous over the ridiculous. That’s why DiLiberto won over Ronad Mailman. Mailman was a very ridiculous example of stolen valor and Dallas is just crazy. DiLiberto parlayed his stolen valor into a position where he could influence people who otherwise may not be exposed to real experts with legitimate credentials.

    Giduck is dangerous for the reasons already mentioned. Ladner is a fool and a liar, and deserves everything he gets for his lies. But of the two, Giduck is in a position of influence, although thanks to the SF guys, blogs like this, and Giduck’s own hubris, that influence has waned considerably.

    I disagree with Hondo a bit re: Tesla/Monkress in terms of dangerousness. Tesla lied to get into positions where she could influence young people. That’s never good when it comes to stolen valor perpetrators. Monkress is dangerous because he uses his false credentials in the business community and also claims to be involved in vet charities. Throw in his dodgy associates, and who knows what kind of shenanigans he is getting involved in. And like Giduck, Monkress has demonstrated that he is still willing to go scorched Earth on real veterans to protect his fiefdom and more importantly for our purposes, Monkress will do whatever it takes–legal or not– to destroy other vets to protect the lie.

    As I’ve said previously, this year’s tournament differs from the past in that three of the four finalists are more noteworthy for their actions after getting outed. So who’s the most dangerous in terms of embarrassing real vets and continuing to rock the lie? In my view, it comes down to Giduck or Monkress.

  28. Ex-PH2 says:

    Flagwaver, your reasoning is lewd and hysterically funny.

    Hondo, while you make a good point about all the blather, I feel it’s important to note that Spanky has her hog-tied centerfold, which will make anyone return a partially-used meal, whereas Giduck is stuck on his shovel. Sometimes, he rotates on it.

    Yes, Giduck has chutzpah in pursuing people in court, but Judge Judy could shut him up in a second or two. I doubt that she could get Spanky to stop lying, even if she found in Giduck’s favor.

    Giduck should indeed be burned, but the point about Monkeyass/Affenteil is that he has a following in the press, not just here. Affenteil winning could create even more scope than he has heretofore.

    And last, but certainly not least, Ladner’s approach — stealing people blind — is not just limited to hunting trips and rides on parade floats. He gets people permanently injured. I’ll bet he leaves his wife within five years. He could hurt more people than he already has.

    Basically, they’re all psychic vampires of the first degree, outdoing even Sharkey, who was deeply disappointed that he didn’t win last year. The quality of lying asshole has jumped from mere gadabout party animal ribbon-wearers to experts in seduction, shoveling shit, conning others into helping them with their con, and pure unfettered self-aggrandisement. They almost put the Enron people to shame.

    I’m waiting to see just one of these shameless beasts, off in the future, actually bring a major company to its knees.

    It could happen.

  29. Green Thumb says:


    Also with Ladner would be the need for his arrest records to be reviewed.

    Hate to say it, but his lies could overturn any legitimate arrests and subsequent testimony used to convict criminals.

  30. Hondo says:

    Ex-PH2, Green Thumb, JAGC:

    The first two of you make good points about Ladner. Still, for me – meh.

    Ladner’s wife was only injured due to extreme bad luck. Had they been on a different float, or had the train been 2 minutes earlier or later, we’d not even be discussing the tool.

    Ditto the fact that Ladner’s apparently a liar as well as a cop. Yes, his outing may ripple through criminal cases in which he’s been involved. However, he’s hardly the first outed here for whom that’s the case. In fact, I seem to remember a former Chief of Police in one town in IL who fell in that category. I’m sure there are others.

    As for Monkress: at this point, any serious business connections he has would appear to be speculative. Yes, he’s a member of a MC who’s also a liar concerning his military records. That’s hardly unique. Ditto his being involved in various charities. We’ve had several of those here at TAH, too. And in Monkress’ case, his legal threats have turned out to be bluffs. As far as I know he’s not yet actually tried to take anyone to court regarding exposing his BS as, well, BS.

    Giduck has – and it’s reportedly cost several good people big bucks that in all likelihood they’ll never recover. He’s also “outed” at least one member of the Special Operations community. Those two actions alone IMO put him in a completely different category of shitbird.

    “Vote for the Shovel. It’s important.”

  31. Nicki says:

    I tend not to vote for the biggest loser based on the damage they cause, but rather on the extent and laughability of the douchery, which in Tesla’s case is ginormous! Kind of like in the case of Soup Sammich… good lord, that shitslurper was hilarous and so absurd, you couldn’t help but vote for him!

  32. Flagwaver says:

    Hondo, I recognize the “Vote for the Shovel. It’s important” comment, but I cannot for the life of me remember where it is from. Southern Democrats, if my memory serves… grr… Wish I had a different kind of memory retention, I might have a better idea of why it seems to darned familiar…

  33. LebbenB says:

    @34. Louisiana politics. Campaign slogan for Edwin Edwards for the LA governorship.

  34. Hondo says:

    Flagwaver: LebbenB nailed it, amigo. That was a bumper sticker that was seen in Lousiana in 1991, when the LA GOP managed to let David Duke get their nomination. Due to LA’s rather odd version of elections for state office, Duke and Edwards met in a runoff because they were the top two in the previous round of voting. The incumbent governor, Romer, finished in 3d place, roughly 80k votes behind Duke.

    In a normal, partisan primary system, it’s doubtful Edwards would have made the final election. Duke and Romer effectively split the vote opposed to Edwards (who was a known raconteur and widely suspected of being corrupt as hell). When Duke came in ahead of Romer, that gave LA voters the choice between a crook and a “reformed” white supremacist. Edwards won in a landslide.

    Another version of the sticker seen was “Vote for the Lizard, not the Wizard”. The Wizard reference was to Duke’s acknowledged Ku Klux Klan past; the Lizard reference, to Edwards’ reputation for corruption.

    The bumper stickers were apparently quite accurate. Edwards was later convicted on Federal charges of racketeering, extortion, money laundering, mail fraud and wire fraud. He ended up doing 10 years (2001-2011), plus some probation afterwards.

  35. LebbenB says:

    I follow LA politics even now for the comedy factor, following a TDY stint at JRTC in the early 90’s. ALWAYS good for a laugh or two.

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