“Air Force Amy”, paragon of integrity and Nevada hooker is to be trusted! I’m super, super cereal!

| December 19, 2013

There is a devious and dastardly person amongst us my friends.  Not here at TAH, but someone so depraved and malicious that they would stoop to nothing to take down a cherished celebrity prostitute by using artifice to convince us she’s a stolen valor hooker.

The plot went like this:

  1. Create fake We Served profile using false name and pictures of Air Force Amy.
  2. …………
  3. Air Force Amy is defamed, and her occupation as a 48 year old sex worker suffers from folks thinking she was fake.

Devious.  Just straight devious.

Ms Amy wrote me repeatedly yesterday stressing that she never created this profile:

Air Force Amy

Now granted, the bio exactly matches the one she has on her website, the pictures are her, but the devious bastard mentioned above used someone else’s name.  It reminds me of when Sheldon paid for the DVD that Leonard never returned, and then waited 7 years to use it to win an argument.  Just straight devious.

Now, I would love to make things right, but “Air Force Amy” says she won’t give us her name.  She plans to sue us, but apparently she thinks she can do that under an assumed name or something.  If there is one thing I have learned in my 10 years of blogging and 40 years of life it is this, if you can’t trust a 48 hooker who once spanked a man in a diaper on HBO, you can’t trust anyone.  I mean sure, she brags about how she “traded sexual favors with an airman at base ops and got transferred to Nellis AFB in Las Vegas” but she was also voted “Best Legal Prostitute” by the Reno News and Review and also “Ohio State, Pony Hunter Grand Champion.”  You can understand her wanting to correct this grave injustice since she has such a great reputation to defend.  Porn Stars who act in movies with Ron Jeremy (which possibly explains the pony hunter thing) are among the most honest of all people, as numerous public polls have shown.

Again though, she refuses to actually verify any of the bullshit, I mean facts, that she claims about herself, so we should just take her word for it.

So, we have no reason to doubt, or ability to verify her claim that she was honorably discharged as an E5 after banging an airman to get transferred to Nellis.  (Google it) Additionally, we have no way to refute or confirm that:

I am highly Decorated USAF disabled Veteran, including an extremely hard to get Meritorious Service Medal. I received numerous awards such as “Airman of the Year”, “Woman of the Year”, and “S.P. of the Year”. I was promoted twice “Below the Zone” (earlier than my peers). I also received the “John Levitow Award, the Highest Academic Award achievable.

I don’t think I even need to go into that stuff.  Just take her word for it, despite the people saying you can’t get promoted twice BTZ for an E5. I don’t know, and I don’t care, because I trust Amy as much as I trust Santa bringing me a new pony.

I was an Air Base Ground Defense Instructor and Anti -Terrorism Specialist. I also performed Law Enforcement and Security duties. I worked with the Diplomatic Security Service, The Office of Special Investigations, Naval Intelligence, Army Special Forces, Navy Seals and thousands upon thousands of the sexiest hard-bodied men and women throughout all branches of the U.S. and Foreign Governments.

All believable.  When I was a cub scout I trained a SWAT team on making fire with a stick and bow. Thoroughly and completely believable without any documentation, and shame on any of you for doubting it. 

So, as Amy prepares her legal claim against us, I will take down the previous post.  It will stay down until she files and we are able to verify all her claims.  Unless of course she just disappears and doesn’t prove any of it, in which case it will go back up.  Because if there is a bigger threat to the economic livelihood of a 48 year old hooker than gravity, it is Stolen Valor claims from a website that stood for 10 months before she complained. 

Of course, it would be easiest if she just provided a DD214 that we would FOIA anyway when she files suit.  But let’s do it her way.

NOTE: I am not linking to her website, if you want to google her, just go ahead, but I accidentally hit a link at work yesterday and am waiting for IT to come ask me just what I was doing.  Almost as bad as the time I accidentally pulled up pictures of Ron Mailahn’s junk by accident.

To see Amy in all her intellectual glory, you can watch her and intellectual giant “Bunny Love” on some dopey TV show:

Category: Politics

Comments (41)

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  1. Flagwaver says:

    “Anti-Terrorism Specialist” Really?

    Yeah, I got the same paper telling me that I was an “Anti-Terrorism Specialist” in the National Guard in 2003… It was printed out and given to me after I took a 15 minute online powerpoint lecture and 25 question quiz.

    As for the rest… Did she threaten to sue you or did the person who runs the We Served profile threaten to sue you? Because, if it was the We Served profile, then it might be a sock-puppet… Anyone else smell the unmistakable stench of spandex wrapped around a Wickre Basket Case?

  2. TSO says:

    SHE threatened to sue us. Jonn passed her off to me after she threatened legal action in her very first email. (Her emails follow):

    As you would have to concur, my giving personal information and copies of highly personal and critical documents such as a DD 214 or even my real name is not something you would recommend for someone in my profession as I not only have my own personal security to consider, but I have family to protect as well….

    I am being maliciously attacked because of what you posted on your site and you won’t do anything about after numerous requests by me stating that your facts are not true and that you what have posted about me is adversely affecting my reputation, my business, and my feelings of well being and safety.

  3. TSO says:

    Again, she refuses to provide any info to verify her claims, so we should just believe her.

  4. ByrdMan says:

    DUDE!

    Santa’s bringing you a pony!!!

  5. Just An Old Dog says:

    Amy, be a whore all you want. Just stop with the phony shit. I have more respect for an honest whore than an embellishing/ stolen Valor preacher ( which by the way there are probablly more bible thumpers that are stolen Valor types than whores on here)

  6. UpNorth says:

    Because if there is a bigger threat to the economic livelihood of a 48 year old hooker than gravity, it is Stolen Valor claims from a website that stood for 10 months before she complained.”
    That was the last cup of coffee of the day, and I sprayed some of it on the floor when I read that. Nice way to start the day, coughing, hacking and spitting. Thanks, TSO.

  7. rb325th says:

    Sure, we believe you Amy…. not really. Since her original post went down, does this mean when it goes back up she can be entered into the SVT again? A 48 year old hooker ? Man that has to be so worn out you could probably fall in and never be heard from again. Do her cosutomers have to sign a waiver in case they fall in and cannot be found?

  8. Club Manager says:

    I think my kid encountered her at base ops once. Her real name may be Sally Suckemsilly. Damn, I wish we had females in the Air Police back in the day, would have made the midnight shifts a lot more enjoyable.

  9. Phil Robertson says:

    On second thought, a man’s anus isn’t looking as bad an option right now.

  10. TJW says:

    Damn you! I laughed so hard I spit ice tea all over my computer screen, keyboard and desk blotter from laughing so hard.

  11. ChipNASA says:

    In before Green Thumb

    “Whore”

  12. bullnav says:

    I have been waiting a couple of days for this post, and it was everything I had hoped it would be! I am still laughing. “…bigger threat to a 48-year old hooker than gravity…” yep, outstanding!

  13. Ex-PH2 says:

    Two things, TSO:

    1 – Is it a LARGE pony hunter or a SMALL pony hunter? Size counts for everything, you know.

    2 – Are you going to turn to writing books about the ‘real’ Army when you quit ‘lawering’, or are we going to be limited to just what you post on TAH? I suggest ‘Stolen Valor Hookers I Have Known’ as a starter.

    I live for this stuff. You simply cannot make it up. Glad I put down the cup of tea before reading.

  14. Just An Old Dog says:

    @9,,,, I saw what you did there. ,,, I just tried to listen to her rambling idiotic diatribe on the video, I couldn’t get through it.

    The biggest gem:
    Judge: Im just wondering, how did you go from being in the Air Force to being a Hooker in Vegas?”

    Whore:” Oh, it’s only about an hour from there.”

  15. RM3(SS) says:

    @9, now my coworkers are wondering why I started choking on my coffee. 🙂
    If we ever do get a real name, I MIGHT know some people at AFOSI that could confirm or deny anything she claims.

  16. Hondo says:

    @9 – Damn you! Some of us old f**kers might have blood pressure problems. How about a warning next time!

    Seriously – tied with TSO’s “gravity” comment for funniest thing I’ve read today!

    And I’ll just leave this here:

  17. Pam says:

    A hooker worried about her reputation? Really? What will they thnk of next?

  18. Bill R. says:

    BTZ promotions are from E-3 to E-4. There is no such thing as a BTZ to E-5. Unless the program has changed since I retired, other than normal promotions to E-5 or E-6 are called STEP promotions or STripes for Exceptional Performers. Those are extremely rare and are only given by the Wing Commander.

    • You are correct My BTZ promotions were from E1-E2 and E2-E3. As an E4 in NCO Training School, I graduated valedictorian receiving The “John Levitow Award”. – The highest academic award achievable for an NCO at my level.

  19. Seadog says:

    I think she meant “Blow the Zone” for that second promotion.

  20. NHSparky says:

    Yeah, trust me, I’m a hooker! And my God, that’s the biggest honker I’ve ever seen!

  21. A Proud Infidel says:

    Hey, she IS a highly decorated Plastic Surgery Veteran, isn’t she? If ya can’t trust one of them, who can you trust?

  22. Sparks says:

    The oldest profession in the world and she has to resort to stolen valor to what…make herself more appealing? Believe me, her appeal hit the floor, literally, decades ago. I couldn’t take the video. When the judge called her intelligent, I almost fell out of my chair. Her answer to how to you get from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch was too much brain power for me. However, the defendant in the case, Bunny Love, is smokin’!

  23. JarHead Pat says:

    Nice rack,nice mouth,she is full of shit and more then likely std’s.

  24. Sparks says:

    @23 I put money down that you are right on the STDs. I saw cleaner looking stuff in Saigon and Chu Lai and way more than half of them had scorching cases of the clap.

  25. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, come on, you guys!

    Picking on a poor old hooker? That’s just mean!

    I’m sure she’s just doing this to raise money for her next set of implants and stir up some new business, because she’s not interested in working some place where she’s referred to as ‘Madame’.

  26. PavePusher says:

    I just can’t stop laughing at this. If I can ever get my lazy ass to Vegas (it’s not that far from Tucson), I’m going to have to look her up just for the LOLz.

  27. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    I saw the title of the thread and said to myself, “Self, this is a TSO piece.” That’s pretty amazing when a mere title reveals the author.

  28. ChipNASA says:

    @ 19 Seadog
    We called it “Blow the Bone” and it’s from E-3 (A1C) to E-4 SrA

    PROGRAM OBJECTIVE: To provide an opportunity for exceptionally well qualified Airmen First Class (A1C) a one-time consideration for promotion to SrA, to be effective six months prior to the fixed fully-qualified phase point. Selection opportunity is 15 percent of the total time-in-grade (TIG) and time-in-service (TIS) eligible population.

    After reading all her shiat last year and again today, with 23 years in the Active and Reserve USAF, retiring as a SMSgt, I can say without a doubt that she more full of shiat than a porta potty at Lollopalooza Concert.

    I also HIGHLY doubt that she has a MSM. Very difficult to get a meritorious Service Medal without being an NCO and even then most folks usually get them at retirement.

    I have 2 but one was for some very interesting potential bodily harm/accidents/loss life and property and equipment incidents that happened within 48 hours on my shift at NAS Norfolk.

    Guaranteed she’d have an Air Force Achievement and/or Commendation Medal before she had an MSM.

    Wiki says:
    In the U.S. Army and U.S. Air Force, recipients of the Meritorious Service Medal (MSM) are typically field grade officers in pay grades O-4 through O-6 (major, lieutenant colonel, colonel), senior chief warrant officers (W-3 to W-5) in the case of the Army, and senior non-commissioned officers (E-7 to E-9) in both the Army and the Air Force. Award of the MSM to company grade officers, junior warrant officers/chief warrant officers (Army only) and junior NCOs is rare and typically by exception.

  29. thebesig says:

    Sometime after you guys made your first post about her, she did some “damage control” by posting “Top ten Reasons I call Myself Air Force Amy.” You’d be able to Google it and find her Bunny Ranch post.

    Here are some words from that post, which still stands today:

    What she said in the initial post:

    “1. I really was active duty Air Force, serving a full term with an Honorable Discharge. I was an Air Base Ground Defense Instructor and Anti-Terrorism Specialist. I also performed Law Enforcement and Security duties. I worked with the Diplomatic Security Service, The Office of Special Investigation, Naval Intelligence, Army Special Forces, Navy Seals and thousands upon thousands of the sexiest hard-bodied men and women throughout all branches of the U.S. and Foreign Governments. I am highly Decorated including an extremely hard to get Meritorious Service Media. I received numerous awards such as ‘Airman of the Year,’ ‘Woman of the Year’ and ‘S.P. of the Year.’ I was promoted twice ‘Below the Zone’ (earlier than my peers). I also received the ‘John Levitow Award,’ the Highest Academic Award achievable. I was on the detail that escorted Marcos out of the Philippines when his government was overthrown. Needless to say, I’m an overachiever and pretty “gutsy” too. I wanted people to know that’ how I am!

    “2. It’s purported that I had a reputation worldwide throughout the Armed Services for my overt, was well as clandestine, sexual endeavors. I was known to throw wild sex parties and it was often said, ‘If you haven’t been to one of her orgies, you missed the main benefit of serving your country!!!!’

    “3. All truth be known, I’m actually a Disabled Veteran. I took a pretty severe knee injury (torn ligaments) during an Anti-Terrorist Operation. My previous occupation to the military is listed as “Featured Topless Entertainer” and since I can no longer perform my act on stage since the injury, I am disabled in the eyes of the military.” — Air Force Amy

    To which one “Harold” jumps on there and says this:

    “I have seen a picture of Amy overseas in the field in her fatigues, sitting in a jeep, wearing a leg cast, and carrying a crutch shortly after she was injured in the line of duty.

    “She has fired at the enemy who were firing at her. Let’s just say that several had a very bad day.” – Harold

    To which she replied:

    “Tee hee, a very bad day indeed for some really bad guys! 👿

    “Sure glad I was able to keep my sense of humor after all was said and done. Which reminds me, I sure did have quite a few “fits of laughter” last week, didn’t I?

    “Oh, yessiree buddy, if anyone can get them out of me, it is “The Colonel”, Harold that is.” – Air Force Amy

    Two phonies backing each other. That’s some CLS there, doing casting and issuing crutches right in the lull of the fire fight. 😮 😀

  30. Green Thumb says:

    A potential spokeswoman (the new face) of APL.

  31. Jacobite says:

    Me thinks Bunny Love should be taking a good hard look at AF Amy and figure out that that’s what she’s gonna be lookin like in about 10-15 years.

    Ick.

  32. Airforcekj says:

    I took my kids on an overnight Cub Scouts trip and we had some PJs come talk to the kids. So therefore I’m pararescue trained. Isn’t that how it works?

  33. Airforcekj says:

    “Air Force Amy” has got nothing on “Songtan Sally”!!!

  34. Just An Old Dog says:

    Looking at that stupid ass court video and it’s clear as day that these two ass-peddlers did this solely for publicity.
    Is there ANY posibilty of getting a real FOIA on this hose beast? I’m betting at the most she did minimal time as a supply clerk, if that.

  35. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Look, I’m not young and my braincells are not of infinite number. So, thanks loads for the video, which I pretty much watched from beginning to end. I estimate that little segment cost me between 4 and 6 billion cells, most of which I lost just watching and listening to fluffy with the bazongas.

  36. Bill R. says:

    @33: OMG, I remember her. She approached me once but I’ve never been that drunk!! Been 13 years since I was over there, I wonder if she’s still there plying her trade.

  37. thebronze says:

    Oh come on!! Put the original post back up!! Leave it up UNTIL she provides proof.

  38. Airforcekj says:

    @36
    Yes, she is still there asking anyone who walks out the gate, “you wanna go?”

  39. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    She claims to be the Michael Jordan of whores…..

    I guess that means she has a big d1ck and likes to dunk….

  40. John S. says:

    Tap rack bang?