Kristopher Doody; another phony Marine Scout/Sniper

| August 20, 2014

Kristopher Doody

So I guess we’re having another Marine Week here at TAH. Scotty sends us his work on one Kristopher Doody (yeah, I know I read that, too). Kristopher says this is a decent summation of his career as a Marine;

06/97- 05/01 U.S. Marine Corps- During my four years with the Marines I was a rifleman and scout swimmer with a Raider Company; 3/1 India Co. I finished my military career as a Scout/Sniper with 3/1 Surveillance and Target Acquisition Platoon.

Well, you can tell by the red silk panties he’s wearing, that he has no problem with his sexuality, whatever that is today. But he wasn’t with a Raider Company nor was he a Scout Sniper.

Kristopher Doody DD214

Kristopher Doody Assignments

Kristopher Doody FOIA

Yeah, he spent a year-and-a-half as an infantryman, like a number of us, then he graduated to deserter. From his records it looks like he spent the last six months of his time in the Marines as a deserter or a prisoner until his discharge. But we kind of knew that. It was just last week that the USMC said they were bringing back the name of their Raiders.

He makes a bunch of claims about contractor work that he’s done, but, if I were going to hire him, I’d check with those companies, given his propensity to inflate his military claims. But, personally, I’d think twice about having any Doody in my office. What? You knew it was coming, didn’t you?

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (82)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. ChipNASA says:

    What a piece of…..well…….DOODY

  2. Green Thumb says:

    What a fucking clown.

    • Sparks says:

      Green Thumb…To borrow one of my favorites of yours…what a fucking QUEEF!

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        Meh, just give him a red cape as shiny as his shorts and he’s SUPERQUEEF the booger-eating bedwetter!!

  3. Combat Historian says:

    Poser POS with a nice-looking replica RPG launcher…

    • OLDAV8R says:

      Oh! Thought that was a tactical assault bagpipe.

      • James in Gulf Breeze says:

        You know that could actually work – I normally scream in terror at poor bagpiping as it sounds like cats in heat… maybe this could be the new weapon in the fight on terror!!

  4. Atkron says:

    Does a Special Courts Martial conviction equate to a felony, or is that just reserved for General Court Martial?

    If so, sporting the rifle and what is that a RPG launcher might bring him a charge, right?

    • TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

      From what I understand, I think it does.

      I had to go ask my 1stSgt, because honestly, I didn’t know.

    • Hondo says:

      Atkron: good question.

      As I understand it, in a civilian court the general rule is that the charge – not the sentence – determines whether or not the conviction is a felony or misdemeanor. Some states explicitly identify felonies as such; some may not (all may, but I don’t know for sure either way and don’t have time to research that question).

      For Federal purposes, a felony is defined in Federal law as any crime for which the applicable maximum sentence is in excess of 1 year in jail. Not whether the person is sentenced to or serves more than 1 year in jail/prison – whether the maximum possible sentence is longer than 1 year. That definition is found in 18 USC 3559.

      Where it gets murky with respect to Courts-Martial is the fact that sentences for Special and Summary Courts-Martial are limited. While Special and Summary Courts-Martial can try crimes having maximum allowable sentences of greater than 1 year by the USMJ’s table of maximum punishments, as I recall they cannot order a sentence any longer than 6 months (and in the case of a “BCD Special”, also order a BCD). Thus it’s unclear if a Special Court Martial conviction is (for Federal purposes) a felony or misdemeanor conviction. I’d suspect the latter, but I don’t know for sure.

      Perhaps one of our military lawyer readers can educate us all here.

      • TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

        Show off. Come in here with all your fancy words, and legal mumbo jumbo.

        Actually, thanks. This was a much better answer than mine, and I feel ashamed…I will go haze myself now.

      • Green Thumb says:

        I am a Barracks Lawyer. Does that count?

      • ArmyATC says:

        Wouldn’t his BCD prevent him from purchasing a firearm? ATF Form 4473 specifically asks that question.

      • Just an Old Dog says:

        A Summary Courtmartial is basically a “Super NJP” It cannot award a discharge and does not involve Lawyers in the actual proceedings, though the accused can consult with one. The CO appoints an officer to conduct the investigation and conduct the trial. The punishment is limited to reduction of one grade (E5 and above) or to E1 ( E-4 below) Also E-4 and below can be confined for one month. All can be given extra duty for 45 days and lose 2/3s pay for 1 month.
        A summary courtmartial can be turned down by the accused and he can ask for a Special CM.
        It goes without saying that the individual who recieves the SCM is probably going to be chaptered out.
        It looks like Doody was a shitstain who Spent a few months in 3/1, cocked up and got a Special Court. Since he was pending a BCD and non-deployable he more than likely got sent to 1/1 beause 3/1 was in a work up cycle or deployed when he was released. Upon his BCD being approved a few months later he was sent on appellate leave.

    • MrBill says:

      I found this blog entry by an attorney who practices military law:

      So – Doody’s conviction is almost certainly considered a misdemeanor given that at the time, a SPCM could not result in confinement over six months. Now that a SPCM can impose a sentence of up to a year, that muddies the water a bit for more recent cases.

      • Hondo says:

        MrBill: I don’t think it does unless a SpCM can now award a sentence of more than one year. A sentence of precisely 1 year still qualifies as a misdemeanor under 18 USC 3559 – technically, a Class A misdemeanor (“one year or less but more than six months”).

        • nbcguy54 says:

          It does look like 6 months is the limit for SCM. I think someone may have already threw this out there:

          Subject to section 817 of this title (article 17), special courts-martial have jurisdiction to try persons subject to this chapter for any noncapital offense made punishable by this chapter and, under such regulations as the President may prescribe, for capital offenses. Special courts-martial may, under such limitations as the President may prescribe, adjudge any punishment not forbidden by this chapter except death, dishonorable discharge, dismissal, confinement for more than six months, hard labor without confinement for more than three months, forfeiture of pay exceeding two-thirds pay per month, or forfeiture of pay for more than six months.

          • MrBill says:

            I think you found an older version of Article 19, nbcguy54, because it definitely used to be 6 months, but it was changed – sometime in the early 2000s, I believe. I just checked the 2012 edition of the Manual for Courts-Martial and a sentence of up to 1 year is authorized. However, a BCD, and confinement and forfeitures exceeding six months, are authorized only if the accused is detailed qualified counsel, a complete record of the proceedings is made, and (absent extraordinary circumstances) the case is presided over by a military judge.

        • MrBill says:

          Good find, Hondo. Good to know that a SPCM is definitely considered a misdemeanor under federal law. The writer I linked to cautioned that some states’ laws might take a different view – which is irrelevant for federal purposes of course, but could possibly have an impact on folks’ rights under some state laws.

    • Atkron says:

      Thanks guys. I lost my right to be a ‘Sea Lawyer’ in 1997 when my EAOS was up.

    • Mayhem says:

      It all depends if the confinement for the offense is equal to or greater than 2 years. That is what they could have received not what they did receive. Generally under a SPCM upon a finding of guilty, special courtsmartial
      may adjudge, under limitations prescribed by
      R.C.M. 1003 except death, dishonorable discharge,
      dismissal, confinement for more than 1 year, hard
      labor without confinement for more than 3 months,
      forfeiture of pay exceeding two-thirds pay per month,
      or any forfeiture of pay for more than 1 year.

  5. Green Thumb says:

    He looks like some kind of leprechaun or troll that one would encounter under a bridge.

  6. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    All he needs is a cape to go with his pretty shiny shorts and he can be SUPERSTUPIDASS, the world’s shiniest booger-eating bedwetter!!

  7. Mr Wolf says:

    Howdy Doody!


  8. TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

    I was a Scout Swimmer, it is nothing special. In fact, it falls under local school, no MOS for it. They are Marines of a Boat company, assigned to a MEU.

    It sounds bad ass, but it really is very boring.
    1. Get dropped off 2000 meters from shore because boats got lost.
    2. Slide into freezing water, piss your wet suit to keep warm.
    3. Fin to shore.
    4. Arrive at shore, quickly roll around in sand until your butthole feels like sandpaper.
    5. Signal to the boats that it is safe to come ashore.
    6. Freeze your ass off, holding security on boats until the raid force is done.
    7. Protect the raid force until they get in boats and head out past breakers.
    8. Put fins back on, in surf, then fin back to boats.

    • Fettuccinne Capone says:

      Same here, i was a scout swimmer, and though it may have seemed “high speed” to a line grunt, the reality is that SS was a cool course and we’ll never see them utilized post WW’s

      • TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

        YES! Very cool course. Loved it, but had to admit, it was a BORING job.

        My wife would ask questions like this, while I was going through the course.

        Wife: “How was your night last night?”
        Me: “Cold”
        Wife: “What did you do?”
        Me: “Froze my a$$ off on Kin Blue beach.”

    • Just an Old Dog says:

      I was gonna say that the MEUs tended to have a boat company ( sometimes call the Raid Company) a Helo Company and a Track company. They also had a TRAP Platoon.
      There was a Time that MEUs also had SOC ( Special Operations Capable) in their title.
      With the terms MARSOC/MEUSOC Raider/Raid Company being bantered about its easy for someone to slide one over,

      • TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

        Yes, sir. You are correct.
        If we would lock onto one term, and keep it around for longer than a month, it would make it a little more difficult for fakers to come up with cleaver stories.

  9. ExHack says:

    Is that gold(ish)-plating on that AK? Why, I never saw such impeccable good taste.

    • Sparks says:

      ExHack…he is quite the fashionista isn’t he? Yep, making Marines the world around proud…NOT!!!

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        I’m sure it’s just the “pimped out” Airsoft rifle he found at a flea market. It’s as shiny as his shorts, thus he HAD TO HAVE IT! He looks like the kind of wannabe you’d find in a bookstore wearing camo clothing reading the latest issue of Soldier of Fortune or Guns & Ammo magazine with a scowl on his face thinking he looks like a badass while doing so! Hey, doesn’t getting a Big Chicken Dinner forfeit one’s right to own a firearm just like a DD does?

        • Hondo says:

          Proud Infidel: re: BCD and felony issy, see the discussion by myself and MrBill above. (Not positive, but I think MrBill may be a current or former military lawyer.) It appears that the answer is, for Federal purposes, no. I’m not absolutely positive (and not qualified to give a legal opinion), but it looks to me like like that’s the case.

          Whether or not a BCD SHOULD be a felony conviction (or any SpCM conviction should be considered a felony) is a different question. I’d argue it should if the charges carried a possible max in excess of the Federal felony spec, but that’s apparently not the way the law reads today.

  10. ChipNASA says:

    Probably a ticklemonster, dressed like that….

  11. MrBill says:

    Doody doody doo…

  12. JarHead Pat says:

    WTF>? So this puke is/was a contractor for the DOD,Speaking as someone that has worked in theater for the past 8 yrs or so,how in fuck could he get a job with a record like that,let alone pass the TS/with full scope poly? Someone not doing there job,this mutt has no right being over there,he looks like a walking cluster fuck.

    • GDContractor says:

      I only had a secret clearance, no poly. While in some training classes I was among other contractors that had the same clearance as I did and they were swapping stories about the correctional facilities they had been in. It made me wonder about the due diligence being done…. then along came Snowden. The picture of him looks like he is in a dorm type facility. Makes me wonder if it was taken overseas and the weapons were borrowed. One night at Sharana we had an incoming drill and after it was over we had a formation. There were contractors that looked similar to this assclown’s getup (without weapons)…. wearing pajamas, sunglasses, etc. no kevlar and no IBA. I thought the LTC. in charge of us was going to blow an anuerism.

    • Pvt2ndAward says:

      I have seen guys show up all the way to Leatherneck in Afghanistan ready to work until they got sent all the way home cause their clearance was jacked up. I was a contractor from 2010-2013 all over that stupid country and I saw so much shady, ridiculous stuff with contractors….

  13. OIF '06-'07-'08 says:

    That is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Oh, forget it!

  14. Pinto Nag says:

    There REALLY should have been some kind of Eye Bleach Warning posted with that picture, Jonn.

  15. jonp says:

    I was totally fooled by the camo he was rocking. Maybe he scouted Gay Brothels in Phuket

  16. I kinda think this guy should win ALL of the TAH awards.

    Without even making up alternative names too.

    Two things to keep in mind. I was in the Navy near 50 years ago. And my concept of a Marine DI is based on movies, and certainly not current.

    Still… picturing R. Lee Ermey dealing with someone named Doody made my day.

  17. Gravel says:

    WT ever-loving F?

  18. Climb to Glory says:

    That guy is full of Doody.

  19. AndyFMF says:

    What the hell?! Is nothing sacred? My own unit is now being used by stolen valor thieves. Can’t they leave me a bastion untouched by their corrupting and cheapening presence?

    Glad he didn’t pick a date after 2003…..

    • Mustang1LT says:

      Sorry Andy, nothing is sacred. Hell, I seem to remember a phony who was claiming to be a clerk in the Marine Corps. He probably figured that “NOBODY would lie about being an admin type”

    • FatCircles0311 says:

      Could be worse. Could be some fucker that served with you and you find out he’s a stolen valor fucktard one day when you come on TAH. I know from experience.

      • FasterThanFastjack says:

        At least he doesn’t look and sound like someone you were in tech school/A School with, who may or may not be currently in the custody of the DOJ.

  20. Ex-PH2 says:

    Strangers in the night, exchanging glances, wondering in the night, what were the chances…. dooody dooody doo, doo doo doo dooody doo doo Et cetera.

    Well, it kinda goes with the red silkies boxers, doesn’t it?

  21. Enigma4you says:

    I got nothing..

  22. PFM says:

    Guy kinda reminds me of Yukon Cornelius 🙂

    • Hack Stone says:

      Then let’s send his ass to the Island Of Misfit Toys.

      And need I ask if he is All Points. Logistics material?

  23. Roger in Republic says:

    Is that shiny red outfit the new Urban Disco Cammo setup? It Rocks, man.

  24. MGySgtRet says:

    He is legit….look at all that gear he is toting….he has to be legit…right?

    Friggin maggot.

  25. Jesse Ramosmuller says:

    I know the P.O.S I picked his ass up in the airport as a chaser …walked him through the airport with handcuffs and shackles. ..

  26. Old Trooper says:

    Nothing sez “real deal” like carrying around and RPG tube.

  27. drc says:

    Dooty must have gotten a court martial for being late to fire watch while on duty.

  28. Tankboy says:

    He may not have a felony for his desertion, but he could be convicted of being fabulous at the Phil Monkress memorial truckstop for lonely gay truckers with all that cool PFC deserter swag. What an absolute tool. Life was too hard in the Corps, so I deserted, but then I come back as ninja-vet! Fat fucking idiot! The day he deserted was probably a day of joy for whatever poor Squad Leader was frred from the misery of having to train and lead this fatassed, hills have eyes, turd. Kind of a military version of the cross dressing trucker on “Cops”. I am embarressed for my Corps that this swamp of genetic waste actually made it to the fleet.

  29. Tired Old Dude says:

    Is that one of those new tactical Blunderbuss’s on his right shoulder? And is that a gold plated super pistolo for Space Shuttle combat boardings? I wish I could be this guy but I wouldn’t look good in the red shorts.

  30. SD says:

    Contracting companies – Blackwater,aka ACADEMI, Garda World, Erinys and Global all hired him with simply seeing a Veterans Card showing at some point he was in the military for at least a day, instead of a DD214 or background check. When companies requested a DD214 he simply resigned and conned another company. Blackwater terminated him in 2010 and Garda World terminated him in 2012. Someone really needs to pay attention to national security and protect this countries real heroes!!!

  31. Green Thumb says:

    This turd looks like what I stepped in yesterday.

  32. ArmyATC says:

    He still has one Facebook page up, but he’s scrubbed the hell out of it.

  33. Pvt2ndAward says:

    What they taught us in boot is a Special CM is a misdemeanor, and coupled with the BCD almost always means drug use. I bet he was smokin the reefer and got popped on a piss test. Seen it a bunch right before we deployed to Iraq in 08. We had like 30 drug pops right before we deployed. Idiots……

  34. Green Thumb says:

    I wonder what landscaping company he shovels mulch for?

  35. Big Steve says:

    Good Lord. Now THAT is a convincing uniform if ever I saw one…
    Some people are just born to be losers.