Kenneth Goldstein; phony JAG lawyer (Updated with clown suit)

| August 28, 2014

Ken Goldstein

MCPO Ret. In TN sends us a link to the New York Post about 51 year-old Kenneth Goldstein who was a Coast Guard petty officer who represented himself, poorly, as a former JAG officer and a wounded combat veteran in Nassau County courtrooms;

Hempstead officials suspected something was wrong when Goldstein showed up in court wearing the medals and jabbering like a goofy Hollywood character, sources said.

The Nassau County DA’s Office launched an investigation, a mistrial was declared, and Goldstein was arrested Wednesday.

He was busted at a veterans hospital in The Bronx, where he claimed to be a volunteer.

Goldstein was scheduled to be arraigned in the same Hempstead court where he tried to pull off his Perry Mason routine, but was taken to a local hospital after complaining about post-traumatic stress disorder.


In addition to his jaunt in Hempstead court, Goldstein also misrepresented a veteran in a Bronx Family Court case and was held in contempt in Monticello after lunging at a judge who accused him of being a fraud, sources said.

It’s always PTS, isn’t it? I guess he’s the East Coast phony lawyer veteran as opposed to our West Coast version.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (77)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. John "Faker 6" Giduck says:

    The law is a terrible thing to waste. I’ve screwed cop-killers that I defended.

    APL ain’t got nuttin’ on me.


    John “Faker 6” Giduck

    • Green Thumb says:

      The one thing this turd has is originality.

      You of all folks should be able to appreciate that quality.

      Out of the box thinking, if you will.

  2. Green Thumb says:

    Someone needs to forward him All-Points Logistics employees page link.

    I could see this clown fitting in very well down there in Huntsville or Merritt Island.

  3. GDContractor says:

    “…jabbering like a goofy Hollywood character, …”
    “…where he tried to pull off his Perry Mason routine…”

    I’m detecting improvement in the mainstream media.

  4. JAGC says:

    YES!!!!!!! Force Recon/SEAL/SF… meh… someone pretended to be JAG!

  5. AbnGramps82 says:

    So close, but still no wannabe killer Army Musicians. So close……

    • Steadfast&Loyal says:

      I’m looking for the one that pretends to be an army mechanics. Mechanic AND drivers badge.

      Hell yeah. Bona fide killer right there.

    • Sparks says:

      AbnGramps82…It’s because they know if they do, the first comments will be something like, “playing the boneaphone or the meat whistle”. They’d never live it down. 😀

      • AbnGramps82 says:

        While I’ve never played a “meat whistle”, there was this one time in band camp……..:)

  6. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    But does this phony lawer remember to check his fuel level? I wonder if this critter will threaten to “lawer up” like some others?

    • Alberich says:

      Hey, that’s a point, we haven’t had someone fake being a refueler yet.

      • CATM says:

        No shit, there I was in my dress blues. My nickel plated .45 strapped to my waist with two bandoliers of brasso’d ammo. I was honored to be refueling Air Force one. Those secret service dudes are a bunch of chumps, they aint got nothing on me. I mean, how many guys jump out of a plane with a hose onto another plane to top it off five miles above the ocean in bad weather? Now that takes some balls of steel there. I remember one time I was topping off a plane and had to shoot at a Russian MIG to save my crew, used up all of my pistol ammo, never hit the bastard but he got the jist that I wasn’t someone to mess with. After we landed my commander told me that it was all hush hush, so I never got my flying cross (officially anyway) But yeah POL is the Top Secret/Need to know/Yankee White clearance of the socom community. Even Delta looks up to us.

        • Alberich says:

          That? That was inspired.

        • Oldav8or says:

          Ah yes! USAF tanker crews! The only job in the Air Force where 3 officers drive an enlisted man to work and all he/she does is lay on his/her stomach and pass gas all day! (But hey! They kept my BUFF-driving ass airborne for over 19 hours back during Global Shield ’80! Go SAC!)

        • Make Mine Moxie says:

          As a former POL troop, I can neither confirm nor deny…because my records are sealed and classified.

          • Roger in Republic says:

            Moxie, Now if you had told me that your records were burned up in a fire I might believe you. After all that POL is crazy volatile stuff.

  7. Steadfast&Loyal says:

    You can’t handle the truth (you knew that was coming)

    …of the sure awesomeness of this lawyer.

    I bet he walks in court and the lady juries just throw their clothes at him and the men cower in his presence.

  8. ChipNASA says:

    I wonder if he was a JAG(Hon)?

    /more like JAG-off

  9. Alberich says:

    There’s something REALLY flaky about this story though:

    He also allegedly said he was a former member of the military’s prestigious Judge Advocate General Corps, making him licensed to practice law in the state of New York.

    Well, I appreciate the “prestigious” but the “military” overall doesn’t have a JAG Corps…the services have separate JAG Corps. An Army JA is not a member of the same organization as an Air Force or Coast Guard JA. (There are Marine JA’s but I knew one who was very insistent that “The Marines don’t have a JAG Corps. We have a Marine Corps! It’s just some of our officers happen to be doing legal duties at this time…”)

    Also, the causality is reversed…you have to be admitted to practice in one of the 50 states (or DC) before you can be a JA. And you have to maintain your law license there in order to function as a JA (just as a chaplain has to remain qualified by his denomination).

    It’s my state law license, and my admission to the bar of my state, that allows me to practice in state court. If I want to appear in another state’s court I can petition to be admitted. But I never heard of any state that automatically admits JA’s to practice in its courts….let alone without showing their paperwork.

    • MrBill says:

      I think that most of these issues can be attributed to sloppy reporting. You’re right, it’s not one’s JA status that gets one into state court. In Goldstein’s case, it looks like it was his con artistry (such as it was) that did the trick!

  10. Hondo says:

    There is no truth to the rumor that this tool’s business card said was employed by the legal firm of “Dewey, Forkem, and Howe”.

  11. rb325th says:

    perhaps he should team up with an attorney we all know, he who shall not be named but likes to fly on an empty fuel tank, and file frivolous law suits… as well as be refused entry into the bar for lying among other things.

  12. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Oh my Lord … Have we EVER heard of such court room drama … This IS a first!

    Ha … Only kidding. This guy is little league compared to the photog, broadcster, lawer, bus driver, actor, pilot and future inmate!

    Little league, I tell ya …

    But it does show that sociopaths are permitted to live on both the east and left coasts!

  13. Flagwaver says:

    “I guess he’s the East Coast phony lawyer veteran as opposed to our West Coast version.”

    The biggest difference is that the West Coast version usually has actual legal experience.

  14. Oldav8or says:

    Just for clarification, the references above should state “Least Coast” and “Left Coast” (LMAO!).

  15. Check out his photos on facebook – more fruit salad than Gen Patton!!

    • ChipNASA says:

      Guess now that he was arrested for be a Super dumbass the family and such can’t help but see through his bullshittary.

    • Sparks says:

      MCPO Ret. in TN…Thanks for the photo. My only comment…YGBFSM!!!

    • nbcguy54 says:

      Sporting a Bronze Star – what a stud.

    • AverageNCO says:

      I noticed in some of the other pics, he is wearing a leather biker’s vest. I don’t know if he is part of an MC, Assn, Org, or whatever. I’m just again noticing the posers also like to do the biker thing too.

      • vincent walker says:

        he was never a biker but he is a sick man.Phony to the core but he was in the coast guard and never wounded or anything,petty officer no lt commander and sadly a piece of shit friend of mine who never told me any of this.Ihad to read it off the web

  16. DirtDart says:

    here at Duchebag & Duchebag we offer the best in getting thrown out of court, mentally unstable and above the rest asshattery.

    Our partners include the fake CPO- Dan Bernath , And rampant duchebag like ken Goldstein and backed by our endorsers like – long range loser , our corporate sponsors- APL and the now defunct Archangel

    • GDContractor says:

      Why no love for Visconi? The other guys have nothing on Visconi’s courtroom record.

      • Just an Old Dog says:

        Frankie Viscumi probably came to his senses after his last courtroom loss. I think he might have had a stern talking to bysomeone who said the next time he tried to pull that crap he would be charged with forgig Government documents.

    • bobble says:

      And this –

      Being a “full-time JAG” (whatever that means, since I’m not sure that a “Bachelor of Science (BS) MARITIME LAW, NAUTICAL SCIENCES/ MARITIME LAW – 1987–1990” is equivalent to a J.D.) while simultaneously “Macys – INCHARGE OF OVERNIGHT OPERATIONS FOR HOME GOODS DEPARTMENT,OVERNIGHT RECEIVING” followed by “SERVICE/RETAIL MANAGER – Pep Boys”. Talk about an interesting career trajectory.

      And presently?

      “Outreach Specialist – U.S Department of Veterans Affairs”

      • Ranger11bv says:

        Now hear this, now hear this:

        The previous linkedin account NOW reads:
        (and i quote)

        Profile Not Found

        We’re sorry, but the profile you requested does not exist.

        LinkedIn users have access to advanced people search functionality, including search by last name only, find similar names, as well as search by company, industry and other keywords.

        Sign in or join LinkedIn here.

        Carry on

  17. NHSparky says:

    I wonder if this assclown heard rustling bushes too?

    • GDContractor says:

      He does look like a battery of the month club poster boy. Also it looks like when other people run away from the donut he runs towards it.

    • HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

      Bet you he rotates his tires every six months… vacuums his refrigerator coils… and passed the written exam for his Costco card

    • The Bush says:

      Hey! Leave me out of this. I’m clear across the country and can’t be EVERYWHERE, much as this guy needs a scare thrown into him!


      *Rustle Rustle*

  18. Azygos says:

    He looks a bit like guy whats his name from the fruit loop channel.

  19. Jonn Lilyea says:

    I don’t know how I missed this but according to his LinkedIn profile, he’s a master shoe salesman and a Lyndon LaRouche PAC supporter.

  20. Ranger11bv says:

    I could be wrong, BUT, is that a MOH pin on his left lapel!!!!????

    My supporting evidence:

    The ribbon in the web page is cloth BUT, the LOOK is almost IDENTICAL!!!! It has 5 stars on a blue field just like the cloth ribbon does!

  21. gas tank says:

    I know where he could buy a crappy used Jag if he wanted one that badly.

    Stay thirsty my friends.

  22. James Cornell says:

    I’ve had a running conversation with this guy. Apparently it was all a big misunderstanding and the CG sent a couple of agents out to clear it all up. And one of you slanderous dogs is now in jail and he’s going to sue unless you print a full retraction. Which I’m sure you’re going to do any day…

    • GDContractor says:

      From your link “[…] Their source already has charges brought against them and is in court now by the Govt and my attorney.”

      Wait a sec…. I thought he was his own attorney. (?)

  23. Schenck says:

    In the NYPost article, this all went down at the end of August. On is facebook page, he stills lists JJP VAMC as his employer, and as late as Sept 3rd he’s wearing their lanyard (maybe with a badge attached? Can’t tell).
    Here’s the JJP VAMC FB page:
    Wonder if they actually even know about his scamming?

    • Cornbread says:

      Buddy of mine called the JJP VAMC and asked if he was still “employed” there and to advise them of his fuckery. They said that he had been telling people he was the only Coastie to go through Ranger training and that he was combat wounded, and had received a Bronze Star w/V.

  24. Cornbread says:

    This shitbird was arrested again after an investigation in Kings County on 10/9 by NYPD. He was arraigned and and charged with the same six felonies he was charged with in Nassau County in August and released. His next Court appearance is 10/16 in Nassau County.

  25. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    JAG Lawyer, SHIT!! He looks like a wannabe Generalissimo of a Banana Republic!!

  26. Green Thumb says:

    Dude looks like Bernath’s twin.