Brandon Clinkscale; black-boot Ranger faker

| December 8, 2014

Brandon Clinkscale

Our pals at Guardian of Valor sent us a link to their work on this Brandon Clinkscale fellow who someone encountered at the Staple Center in Los Angeles. I guess the first problem they saw was his black boots (he later explained that he was on “kitchen duty”). Then he couldn’t produce his CAC card, and it all went downhill from there.

Brandon Clinkscale2

I guess they weren’t fooled by him carrying his beret in his cargo pocket. Turns out that he was assigned to 1/75th but it took them about 18 months to toss him to the curb;

Brandon Clinscale FOIA

And here he is seven years later still wearing the uniform. According to my reading of the Stolen Valor Act, wearing the CIB is illegal if they can find a way that he was wearing the uniform to get some “tangible benefit” at the Staples Center.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (48)

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  1. Flagwaver says:

    I wish I had my smartphone when I deployed so I could take selfies during firefights like this guy apparently did.

    Oh, wait… no I don’t. The only dustup I was in destroyed my ipod, so the phone definitely wouldn’t have survived.

  2. Andy11M says:

    Admin sep straight from 1st Batt? They didn’t even punt him to Ft Stewart? Man he must have really screwed the pooch. Probably something worse than getting arrested down on River Street for beating up a SCAD student.

  3. Green Thumb says:

    At least this turd had pictures.


  4. Martinjmpr says:

    Every time you post a picture of a soldier with his hand in his pockets, a 1SG’s head explodes. 😀

    • SJ says:

      Now that’s funny! And true. Air Force Gloves.

      • Torinojon says:

        My favorite part about that is when I was in, we called them army gloves. Quickest way to get the chief pissed off was to see an Airman with his hands in his pockets. Or walking on his grass.

        • Roger in Republic says:

          One time my father popped me with his swagger stick for having my hands in my pockets while walking with him across the parade field on The Precidio of San Francisco. I was about eleven. I never did it again and no NCO ever had to remind me. His reaction to my breach of military etiquette was instinctive and immediate and I didn’t hold it against him. So forceful was the lesson that I actually enforced that rule against my fellow soldiers from boot camp forward.

          • AW1 Tim says:

            I give presentations to 5th & 7th grade students about Maine and the Civil War. In almost every case, I see some kid in the presentation standing with his hands in his pockets. Girls never seem to do that, but with boys it’s almost a genetic thing.

            Anyway, it peeves me off to no end. My standard question is “Why are your hands in your pockets?” “God created pockets so you’d have someplace to put things you might lose. Since your hands are permanently attached to your arms, it’s unlikely they’ll get lost, so don’t put them there.”

            One of my lasting memories was of a few years back when, after chastising a student, out of the corner of my eye I saw a teacher in the bacl slowly pulling his hands out of his pockets. 🙂

            • Lars Taylor says:

              What difference does it make if a kid has his hands in his pockets? And God did not make pockets.

              I understand an NCO making corrective action to a soldier, but you are guest of the school, not an employee, nor the kid’s parents. And the kid is 12, not a soldier in uniform (soldiers are permitted to have their hands in the pockets out of uniform by the way). While I agree that it is probably in the kid’s long term best interest to learn to maintain a professional manner it seems to me there is alot you could learn about good manners and the limits of your authority. Which is what this apparently comes down to; you seem to have an authoritarian personality.

          • OldSargeUSAR says:


    • MustangCryppie says:

      Roger that. I am currently in the process of putting mine back together.

  5. AverageNCO says:

    According to Doug Sterner, when these guys wear a full uniform and claim to be in the service, they are breaking a law seperate from the Stolen Valor Act. If they are wearing the unform, it doesn’t matter if they if they are trying to gain something of value.

    • Hondo says:

      AverageNCO: while that is technically true – and as far as I know the SCOTUS has never ruled on that particular part of Federal law (18 USC 702) – good luck on getting it prosecuted without some other accompanying legal misconduct. I’m relatively certain the courts would find such wear “nonverbal speech” and block enforcement on free speech grounds if it was ever challenged.

      I could be wrong, but the rationale is similar to the reason why the 2005 Stolen Valor Act was pitched by the SCOTUS, and why the requirement for fraud in conjunction with such a false claim was added.

  6. SJ says:

    If he had been thinking, he would have said the boots were Cochrans.

  7. C2Show says:

    What is it with these phonies lately showing their pictures from phone or pretending to be on their phone while people are probably making eye contact with them?

    These cowards can’t even look people in the eyes when they lie.

  8. Hayabusa says:

    Well, 1/75 is based very close to Los Angeles, right? He probably just stopped by the Staples Center on his way home from work, which is why he was still wearing his ACUs.

    His desert boots were at the cleaners, so he had to wear the black boots in a pinch.

    “Where’s your Airborne wings?”

    “Airborne wings”? Don’t you see that HALO badge, dawg? Dude, that’s like Airborne on steroids, yo.

    And the little soul goatee indicates: TOTALLY LEGIT.

  9. Hayabusa says:

    Turns out that he was assigned to 1/75th but it took them about 18 months to toss him to the curb

    And you believe that, Jonn?

    Dude, that’s just the cover story. After that, he was sheep-dipped into Black Ops, where he’s been for the last nine years. His real records are in a vault in a nuclear-proof bunker 300 feet under CIA HQ in Langley, protected by a contingent of Blackwater contractors and sharks with freakin’ laser beams on their heads. You need to pass your TS/SCI clearance just to request an appointment to look at his records. And after you are finished reviewing them, they have to cut your head off and put it in the burn bag.

    Also, his records burned up in the fire in St. Louis.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Hey yo, ya mean his were like yo, secretly stored someplace in Ferguson, yo like, secretly, and that like, burned. Word up, yo Dawg?

      • Hayabusa says:

        No, dawg, the Army warehouse fire. Ya know, where all the secret squirrel army records burned up. Long before all the Ferguson crap started. Although, maybe they burned up again more recently…

  10. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Another snot-nosed booger-eating bedwetting dingleberry of a twinkle-toed candyassed lying CREAM PUFF that couldn’t cut the mustard and can’t look his accuser(s) in the eye because he knows damned well he’s been called out on his con game. I wouldn’t have been a damn bit surprised if the shit-for-brained little fart pickle of a Care Bear-lusting Sparkle Pony played the race card when he got his ass handed to him, either!! I’d love to meet whoever busted his chops someplace that serves Adult Beverages and let him enjoy a shot and a beer on my tab!

  11. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Three words …

    Hands in pockets …

    • ExHack says:

      Hey Master Chief. Is your boss a kinda-short, stocky retired SEAL CPO from Joisey? Came through LAS T3 last night wearing a Trident-emblazoned windbreaker. I casually ‘engaged’ him. Long story short, your name was brought up. Seemed like a good guy.

  12. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Hands in pockets. Holes in pockets. You can take it from there.

  13. NHSparky says:

    Given the fact it’s LA, I’m surprised he didn’t pull the baby-killer PTSD card. The libidiots there would probably have given him a parade on the spot.

  14. Ex-PH2 says:


    That is a strange name. Is it Czech?

    • 2/17 Air Cav says:

      Clinkscale is frequently mistaken for Czech but it’s actually Cantonese or, more properly, Yu Chinese. Originally, it referred to a Cantonese baker’s product but its spelling changed over time. That explains the two Ls.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I do not know what I would do if you guys weren’t around to give me the giggles.

    • Animal says:

      I had him pegged for Irish.

      • AW1 Tim says:

        Well, yeah… now that ya mention it, he does kinda look like a forward for the Celtics.

        • CLAW131 says:

          A small forward? More like a passing only guard. A school crossing guard. Anyway,he’s Irish much like Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding was.

        • CLAW131 says:

          He couldn’t even pull up the laces on Hondo Havlicek’s sneakers,let alone be a forward on the Celtics. Remember,”Havlicek stole the ball,Havlicek stole the ball”(1965 Eastern Conference Championship)

  15. Ex-PH2 says:


    Can you imagine the look on this doohickey’s face if someone didn’t just call him out, but told him that DoD sent around notice a week ago that uniforms are not to be worn offbase, because ISIS jihadis are looking for people to kill?

    And then pull out the printout, just to drive home the point.

    He would probably never wear it in public again.

    • Instinct says:

      Hey, maybe ISIS will help solve all our stolen valor problems since these phonies love their uniforms.

  16. Big Steve says:

    If this dude ever spent 18 months in 1/75 Rangers, I would faint dead away. Very hard to believe.