Kennis Smith; phony Ranger, SF

| December 20, 2014

Kennis Smith

Someone sent us this fellow’s Facebook page. His name is Kennis LaWayne Smith and he claims to be a Ranger and Special Forces qualified. According to his now-defunct LinkedIn page, he tried to use that experience for his private security business;

Kennis Smith Linked IN

Kennis Smith LinkedIn2

And he looks pretty scowly – that alone proves he’s a Ranger and all-around bad-ass and he has the American flag on his chest so the bad guys know who is about to kick their collective ass. Just because the Airborne Tab, the Ranger Tab (on his combat patch) and the flag are reversed, well, that don’t mean a thing. Bad asses don’t care ’bout no 670-1;

Kennis Smith1

Kennis Smith2

And he did all of that training in just 22 days;

Kennis Smith FOIA

You know he’s totally legit because of the American flag behind him on his privacy fence – only a real hero would have the ‘nads to pose like that. I’m disappointed that his LinkedIn account came down, though, I guess when he saw that I visited, he scrambled to get all of that bullshit down – I just snagged the screenshots on December 1st. Good thing I saved it for him, huh? I hope my foresight helps him in his business endeavors.

I just went back and checked his Facebook page and he posted this apology the day after I submitted his stuff to Mary;

Kennis Smith Apology

Kennis Smith gobbledy gook

Yeah, uh-uh, makes perfect sense – he must have thought that showing up at Benning makes him a BCT graduate, AIT grad, BAC grad and a combat veteran of the 101st Airborne Division. And 21 years in service is the same as 22 days.

And, then even if showing up at Benning gets you all of that training, he didn’t go to Benning;

Kennis Smith Assignments

It looks like he lasted long enough to get his BDUs issued and the photo taken. This is from his Google+ account;

Kennis Smith BCT pic

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (75)

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  1. Friend S. Wilkins says:

    I’d like to be the first to commend Private Smith on his valorous 21 days of service to the United States Army. A real hero.

  2. OIF '06-'07-'08 says:

    Damn, what a bottle of weak sauce, guy does not even want to get into next years tourney.

  3. NR Pax says:

    Typing in all caps as well? Totally legit.

  4. ArmyLady says:

    Looks like the holiday season brings out the crazies!
    Couldn’t even make it thru boot camp!

  5. Nicki says:

    For some reason, this pernicious bag of shit makes me want to club baby seals!

  6. GDcontractor says:

    Look at the picture in his LinkedIn page. Crotchless ACU’s or mangina?

  7. Sapper3307 says:

    Basic training at Fort Bliss I didn’t know they still hade it their. It may be were black ops goes to basic after X-box but before PS3.

  8. MrBill says:

    I’ll give him this: he wore no rank insignia in any of the photos, thus accurately representing himself as an E-1. He must have just had a severe brain cramp and typed “years” when he meant to type “days”. And his confusion over that whole “ranger” thing is totally understandable; who among us hasn’t made a similar mistake? And doesn’t the Ranger look great on his forehead? Yeah, no one wears it there, but they should, by golly!

  9. propsguy says:

    YES!!!! I was getting tired of the Marine and Seal Posers.

    9 points to house Grimydork, you ignorant piece of trash.

  10. MSGRetired says:

    The funniest thing is he is busting on Yetman on his FB Page. What a sack of sour Monkey Sperm !

  11. Andy11M says:

    His”weapon” is on fire with a mag in the well.I guess his finger is his safety? With as clean and unblemished as that M4 is, how much you want to bet it’s airsoft?

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Yeah, but he’s doing his damnedest to look like a badass with it in his Momma’s backyard! NICE GEAR, where did he get it, the clearance rack at Bubba’s Military Surplus? I wonder if a closer inspection of it wouldn’t reveal a “MADE IN CHINA” tag?

      He look about as bright as a burned-out light bulb!

    • Martinjmpr says:

      (wags his index finger) “This is mah safety, sir!” [/ericbana]

  12. Ex-PH2 says:

    I don’t know much about Army stuff, but the Ranger rocker on a hat looks like something a souvenir hunter does.

    And frankly, this 22-day wonder actually looks like one of those plastic toys you get in a cardboard box with a celophane window at Toys R Us, except in this case, it’s Dopes R Us.

    He couldn’t even get through 3 weeks of basic? Oh, gee, guys, I doubt he could make it through the first 10 days of WAVES boot camp. PN Fenstermacher was always on alert for peepers like this one.

    • thebesig says:

      Originally posted by Ex-PH2:

      I don’t know much about Army stuff, but the Ranger rocker on a hat looks like something a souvenir hunter does.

      Ex-PH2, your hunch is correct, that’s not authorized on the patrol cap. :mrgreen:

      As Army “urban legend” goes, some did it informally in the past, but that didn’t last long. But, they retained the “ranger roll,” which is the Army’s version of the Navy’s “Destroyer roll” of the sailor hat. This is where they’d roll the top of their PC down so that the front stood up… something to showcase said “ranger tab” in front of their PC cover.

      One of our sister battalions that we deployed to Iraq with was a Ranger battalion. None of them had that tab on their PC covers.

      AR 670-1 only authorizes the rank insignia in the front. Messages related to the uniform authorize the name tape in the back. The general rule of thumb for the colors of both is “subdued”, with the name being black on ACU background.

      Hypothetically, if such a tab were authorized for wear in the front, it’d be subdued in coloring, not the bright “shoot me here” stuff that he has on right now. But, that’s not authorized for wear. 🙄

      My shortest “quasi deployment” was longer than this imbecile’s time in the military. :mrgreen:

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        His “weapon” looks like some third-rate Airsoft toy one would find at a flea market. I have more time wielding a floor buffer while on Fire Watch than he does total time in service!!

        • thebesig says:

          You see, after those 22 days, he was recruited by a secret program. He served as a “ranger” for a secret US elite super secret squirrel unit deployed to the United Provinces of Atlantica in a secret mission called, “Operation Just Because.” :mrgreen:

      • RGR 4-78 says:

        A very long time ago the subdued tab once earned went over the top of your jump wings on the front of your O.D. patrol cap which was for field use only, your beret was worn in garrison.

        • Martinjmpr says:

          Yes, that’s how I remember it, too. It’s kind of like the name tape and ranger eyes on the back of the patrol cap. Not authorized per AR but a common field modification for both Ranger and SF units.

      • Legans says:

        I have a photograph of me next to an Army Ranger when we were in the Army Pathfinder school at Ft. Benning in 1986. It’s a scan from a Kodak Disc camera I carried back then. He has a tab on his PC above his rank and I’m pretty sure it’s a Ranger tab. I was a Marine attending an Army school at the time.

    • 19D2O-Smitty says:

      Actually the Ranger tab on the front of the PC IS authorized, but only for qualified Ranger Cadre assigned to the ARTB. And then it is the standard subdued one, not full color.

      • thebesig says:

        The post that you’re addressing talks from the standpoint of the Army in general, outside of the ARTB training AO… and not from the standpoint of unique situations within specific units.

        The training cadre being allowed to wear it in that manner is considered a special situation.

        This is probably why I didn’t see any of the Rangers with the ranger tab on their PCs while in garrison and while downrange. The brigade CSM would’ve had their asses if they did go out of line from AR 670-1.

  13. SJ says:

    He could team up with Chevy’s “security” business.

    • NHSparky says:

      Nah, Blobfish is jealous but cause someone is a bigger “lifer” than him. I mean, three. Whole. WEEKS.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        Three weeks? Damn, that’s less time in service than Giduck!!

      • thebesig says:

        Originally posted by NHSparky:

        Nah, Blobfish is jealous but cause someone is a bigger “lifer” than him. I mean, three. Whole. WEEKS.

        And get this, Dennis Howard Chevalier, AKA Denny Chevalier, spent that entire time waiting to get discharged… without the benefit of attending drill like he claimed. It was like, “Hey, remember when we said you could report to your unit to drill? Well, don’t even bother, we just got word that you lied your ass of to get in. Your discharge paperwork will be in the mail, don’t contact us, we won’t contact you.”

        Blobfish’s actual activity in the National Guard is probably limited to the time he sat in the recruiter’s office and lied.

  14. OWB says:

    Is it no longer possible to own/operate a security firm without claims of super ninja this or that?

  15. SGT Ted says:

    I got drunk next to some Rangers at the Club near Madigan at Fort Lewis. Am I tabbed out now?

  16. Club Manager says:

    Give the guy a break, his 21 years of Ranger service was “Classified”.
    I busted him with the local newspaper, here is their e-mail in the event anyone cares to join the fun:

  17. Hack Stone says:

    I have put this comment out there before, but maybe some current or former Drill Instructors/Sergeants can confirm, but given the efficiency of the military administration, if someone was to bounced in 21 days, wouldn’t that indicate that they were sent to the separations command within the first couple of days of reporting to basic training?

    • Friend S. Wilkins says:

      That’s just what I was thinking. I can almost see what took place. That first day was just too stressful for the poor boy. And later that night, when the reality of it all came crashing down, Private Kennis Smith just broke down and cried all night and into the next morning. The senior DI tried his best to comfort and console the sobbing, hysterical youngster, but it was useless….

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Just like I said earlier, I wonder if he even made it out of the Ag Reception BN there!

    • OIF '06-'07-'08 says:

      I also have to agree, but he probably was bounced when he was still in reception, and yes, I myself went through OSUT at Ft. Bliss. My time spent at recep was shy of just five days.

      The few washouts my unit had were still attached to us by the time we finished basic.

    • Eric says:

      If you make it out of Reception and actually “into” Basic Training, unless you get cut in the first week or two, you’ll be there for 8 weeks as an “OT” (Out of Training) because your paperwork to separate you is a much lower priority than training.

      In his case I’m going to guess that he was dropped for medical reasons that they didn’t catch at MEPS. That’s often what the cause is if they’re dropped at Reception. (Though the “Mommy isn’t here to do stuff for me anymore” separation is common too.)

      Frankly, he also looks like there’s something mentally wrong with him, but maybe others have different opinions.

    • Just an Old Dog says:

      I cant speak for the Army, or even how its Done in the Corps Nowadays.
      Generaly The fastest discharge I have seen personaly was like 3-5 days.
      The Kid got off the bus, got his haircut, shower and initial issue than said he was going to kill himself. They watched him overnight, sent him to the wizard and to seps the next day. He was processed and discharged his third day at Seps.
      21 days would mean he spent at least 15 days in reception and training.
      If I recall correctly thats close to the time that the urinalsis from recieving came back

  18. Jonn Lilyea says:

    He lasted longer in the active duty Army than Chevalier lasted in the Guard by two days, so that counts for something.

    It looks like Smitty pulled his Facebook page, or he blocked me.

    • Eric says:

      He pulled it. I can’t see it either.

    • Nicki says:

      He pulled it. I messaged him and told him he was a fucking disgrace and that he should pull his FB page down and get rid of every post and every photo of his lying ass in uniform. Wonder if he read it before he pulled his page.

  19. Smaj says:

    Useless shitbag.

  20. Green Thumb says:

    A likely candidate for employment at All-Points Logistics.

    He and Commander Phil Monkress appear to have much n common.

    Two-hole Ranger, indeed.

  21. W2 says:

    Turd burglar.

  22. Sparks says:

    Two hole, tongue bather…extraordinaire.

  23. fsckity-fsck says:

    Kennis Smith has that “22 days spent choking on cock” look about him.

  24. propsguy says:

    Kennis Smith, the phoney Ranger/ “special” operator is already #1 on google. Good Job guys, is that some kind of record?

  25. Doc Leistner says:

    This “stolen valour” is going mainstream. I had a civilian administrator at my college attempt to call me out. It took much effort to restrain myself.

  26. FatCircles0311 says:

    G4S is such a shit show of course a stolen valor phony like this would be armed working for them. What a shit bag extremes both him and G4S.

  27. Green Thumb says:

    This meatgazer is one step away from becoming Snake Eyes Steve Jordan.

  28. Martinjmpr says:

    What’s with the pissed off look? Dude needs some Metamucil I think.

  29. Yolanda van der Puyl says:

    Disability classified….. Makes 100% sense.. Jacking off after bragging about his “military ops” with non military I too would want my disability CLASSIFED. He specializes in investigation, etc, I just might hire him to join my crew (my kids) and business.We are Investigation Specialists, backed by two year classes with a Diploma. Guess I should activate my Facebook and offer him a job… We’re LOAO

  30. Combat Historian says:

    In that photo above with the toy helmet and air-soft M4, the douchebag looks like a constipated turd…

  31. mike says:

    actually it is an airsoft gun its made by ez soft airsoft guns online had one just like it a couple years ago for the parts and the price of the gun he should have just boutgh the 22

  32. Big Steve says:

    My God! Another REALLY bad phony, complete with his patches all wrong, posing in his (or his mom’s) backyard with what we are supposed to believe is his real weapon, etc., etc.
    Don’t these guys realize that us real vets are all over the net, and eventually one of us will see ’em?? And not be shy about calling ’em out?
    The stupidity of these wannabes is epic.

  33. Big Steve says:

    One easy way to qucikly spot the phonies on the net: When their pic… with uniform, medals, weapon, or whatever, is obviously taken in their backyard, or somewhere in their house/apartment.
    Not a pic of them out in the field, or with comrades, or military course classmates, or anything legit.

    I saw a pic of one scammer all dressed and camoed up, crouched down, with his “weapon”, in what was obviously a shrub garden in an American yard. Don’t know where he was claiming he’d been, engaging in that firefight. 🙂

    Some of them would be funny if not so pathetic.

  34. Dude says:

    This is a pretty good cosplay of Teal’c from Stargate.

  35. Bobo says:

    He’s back!

    This time he’s a private investigator and disabled retired soldier. He also lives about 40 miles from where my wife grew up, so there are a ton of her friends there, one a Marine who was in Fallujah and one a soldier who did two runs in Iraq. Also a few Mississippi State Troopers. This could get fun.

  36. SGT Kane says:

    Oddly enough, I’ve met more than a few BCT graduates who thought that because they went to Benning and that made them Rangers (not Ranger qualified, but Rangers all the same). Usually that only lasts until they showed up at their first unit and someone quickly debased them of the notion.

    I did serve with a Florida national guard kid in Iraq who still held that line though. Good kid, just stubborn.

  37. hueydoc says:

    here’s his new facebook page. now he’s “retired” Army.