Ryan Christoper Laky; skateboarding phony SEAL

| February 28, 2015

Ryan Laky (1)

Scotty sends us his work on this fellow by the name of Ryan Laky aka Tracy Novac, aka Ryan Novac. I know that by looking at him, you’re thinking “Navy SEAL. Totally legit”. Surprisingly, that’s not the case according to Don Shipley and the Navy and the NPRC.

Ryan Laky claims  (2)

Ryan Laky FOIA  (1)

Ryan Laky FOIA  (3)

I know you just want to cuddle up to him and hear his stories, because he totally looks like he’s “been there and done that”.

Ryan Laky

Don’t cuddle too close, though, you’ll catch something – probably get a contact high, too.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (36)

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  1. Bernath's Fuel Gauge says:

    WTF is that on his chin? Ball rings maybe.

    • Skippy says:

      No it’s a little ring device so you can hook up a dog lead, so you can Hmmm. so you can throw him off a cliff Bahahaha….

    • Sparks says:

      Bernath’s Fuel Gauge…Looking at his Facebook photos, those are piercings designed to give his many, many boyfriends and head shop restroom encounters, extra pleasure when he’s licking their balls, taint and two hole.

  2. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Proof of LEGITTITISM:

    1. seal team sicks
    2. waterboarding

    Final ANALYSIS:

    Totally without reservation LEGIT.

  3. OlafTheTanker says:

    To be fair, he may have Skated Seal Beach once… totally the same, right?

  4. Ex-PH2 says:

    Almost looks like he shaves his armpits. Maybe that’s the source of the chin whiskers – he can’t grow them there, so he glues them on.

  5. Skippy says:

    Well ladies and gentlemen.. We bring you Hipster Turd, wanna-be Seal, his awards Miscellaneous Metal rings and torture devices on his chin Lol… And he can skate as taught by A top secret navy training base that’s to top secret to talk about… Bahahaha… Lol…..

  6. MSGRetired says:

    Someone should give him some new Nail Gun Piercings !

  7. Guard Bum says:

    It pretty amazing how Don Shipley sees through these guys, this guy looks like he just stepped out of a SEAL recruiting poster.

  8. AverageNCO says:

    I hope one of the college classes he is “taking” is spelling 101.

  9. SJ says:

    Not a sniper? Pffffft.

  10. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He looks like someone you’d expect to look at you and say “DUDE, like… Buy me a pizza, and I’ll like.. Split it with you!”.

  11. Sparks says:

    Upon further reflection I’m calling LEGIT. He’s got it. He’s got the “thousand yard stare”.

    No, no, wait a minute…that’s a “high on pot stare”. Sorry, my bad. Okay Ryan, now you’re back to just being your usual queer bait.

  12. Green Thumb says:

    I bet his taint tickler has a “Phil Monkress” flavor.

  13. NR Pax says:

    I really wish they’d make just a little more of an effort.

  14. 3E9 says:

    Evidence that pot decreases productivity. Bastard didn’t even try.

  15. Big Steve says:

    Ryan “Flaky” Laky is about as much a Navy SEAL as the little girl next door to me.
    Ryan’s just a punk. No more, no less. In this case you can tell a book by its cover.

  16. FatCircles0311 says:

    I can’t even.


  17. AW2toCPT says:

    It’s like they’re not even trying anymore. Between the bolt-on facial accessories and the anime cover photo everything about this guy just screams “steely eyed killer.” Or something like that.

  18. beretverde says:

    No Squeal tattoos? Fake!

  19. MAC USN retired says:

    Those aren’t sideburns. They’re furry handgrips, to match the dick bumper under his bottom lip.

    • Green Thumb says:


      This turd redefines the term “ghey”.

      A nice addition to All-Points Logistics he will make.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        THAT snot-brained metrosexual makes The Care bears look like a mean-assed Outlaw Biker Gang!

        • Green Thumb says:

          The more I think about, the more I believe I may be wrong.

          There is no way that Phildo will let this turd into All-Points Logistics.

          Commander Phil Monkress will keep him all for himself. Less competition.