Joseph Alvarado; phony tats make it true

| March 29, 2015

Joseph Alvarado

So, the folks at Special Forces Poser Patrol send us their work on this fellow, Joseph Alvarado. They say that he was busted years ago, but he won’t stay busted. He claims that he was a First Sergeant for 18 years of service. Of course, he was also assigned to Ranger units and Special Forces units, three Purple Hearts, a Silver Star Medal and a Bronze Star Medal. If you doubt any of those claims, he has the tats to prove it all.

Joseph Alvarado 10th group Tat

Joseph Alvarado Tattoo

Joseph Alvarado Ranger Tat

Of course, none of that is true;

Joseph Alvarado FOIA

Joseph Alvarado Assignments

He was a 31N Communications Systems/Circuit Controller which might be the special forces of the communication world, but not really special forces to the rest of us. He was stationed near Stuttgart, Germany – a long ways from Bad Tolz where 10th SFG was stationed in those days. It looks like most of his time was spent in the Reserves before he went active duty.

He does have some service records that the National Personnel Records Center didn’t catch;

Joseph Alvarado real Service records

Folks tell me that he’s a thief – he fooled one guy into buying him two cars while living rent-free. A good gig if you can get it. He has fooled the Military Order of the Purple Heart on occasion, too. If you get an email from him, delete it – he likes to send viruses in attachments. I guess he’s in the Phoenix, Arizona area these days.

Joseph Alvarado1

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (41)

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  1. sj says:

    Sigh. A Signal guy. If I remember right a 31M stayed in a radio relay multichannel signal system truck. It actually is an important job because it provided all the “phone” systems to higher and lower.

    But, he does have a NDSM and they don’t give those away!

    • Hondo says:

      He was a 31N, sj. I believe those were the guys that “tied everything together vice provided the circuits. However, you’re correct – even when this tool served, when working they were either in a large shelter (tactical) or a permanent comm facility (fixed station). They definitely weren’t “snake eaters”.

      The guy is also sporting a Purple Heart hat. I especially loathe those who falsely claim a PH.

      Screw him.

      • sj says:

        Dang eyes! N not M! Oh hell yes…a Patch Panel guy. I only put my best guys in them because that is the nerve center…all commo (except tactical radio, goes through it. They have to alt route stuff and have to be on the ball. They don’t have to be large…ours in the 82nd (SB 611 if I recall…damn, how can I remember that but not what I had for breakfast?) were in 3/4 ton size shelters. 2 ea in a Signal Bn (ABN). Snake eaters didn’t have them

  2. Big Steve says:

    God I hate these guys that actually have their fakery permanently tattooed on themselves.

    And he’s a forger/thief. Surprise, surprise.
    F*** you, Joseph. Now go bend some taco shells for my lunch today.

    • Sparks says:

      Big Steve, I agree. I say peal them off with an M-7 Bayonet…still mounted on an M-16. You know, just for that extra leverage to be sure you get it all.

    • Reb says:

      A poor sad Military Soldier who really suffers from PTSD for the horrors he went through will see something like this crap and it could trigger a episode. PTSD suffers have no control of their sense’s when this happens.
      Walking around with bullshit rat tats and running into someone who knows your a lying bag of shit will cut the damn things off and shouldn’t be arrested for doing so. God I hate lying scum. You should be proud of whatever you did in the military. At least you served your country.

  3. Ozzie 11B says:

    Yeah, those tats really impress me. Not!

    Tattooists should start demanding irrefutable proof, and there should be a waiting period so the proof can be verified.

    And if it is found you got an unauthorized tat, the penalty would be removal by belt sander.

    And cant find the link right now, but the kid that had the MOH on his arm (to honor others), not only is he in the wrong, but so is the tattooist, come on, MOH?, take a couple minutes to look it up. Tell me you don’t have internet on your phone?

    There are plenty of other databases out there just a click away. I know most of the legal tattooists in my area, and they check first because it looks bad on them to tat a poser.

    Now if we can just get word to the rest of them.

    I know, I know, but a person can dream. 🙂

    • Ozzie 11B says:

      And I trained in Bad Tolz with the SF – January 1990, 2 week PLT confidence course run by them, coldest I have ever been in my life.

      Guess that makes me a SF qualified Cold Weather Expert, too?

      • Skippy says:

        So let’s see I got a zippo from my Vietnam vet uncle that says mess with the best die like the rest that has a spear point on it, so would that make me SF/ Ranger/ Seal qualified ?????
        Just saying LMAO ! ! ! !

      • Being at Bad Tolz is one of my fond memories.

        In the Mormon church, everything is run by the members, and every member has to have a job.

        When I was a Private First Class assigned as a Field Radio Relay and Carrier Equipment Repairman (MOS 31L20)to Team A-1, 11th Air Defense Signal Battalion, 32d Army Air Defense Command, at Spangdahlem Air Force Base, Germany each Sunday, I would hitch-hike to Bitburg Air Force Base, Germany to attend services of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints.

        They called me and set me apart as the Assistant Scoutmaster for their Boy Scout troop.

        In that capacity, I went with the Scouts to Camp Edelweiss, our Summer camp at Bad Tolz, Germany, where we were given demonstrations on wilderness survival by the 10th Special Forces Group (Airborne).

        That was super duper neat!

        The only bad thing was that our scoutmaster became sick.

        From there, we went to Munich to attend church services, and visited the Deutches Museum, their equivalent to our Smithsonian.

        We were scheduled to visit Dachau Concentration Camp and Salzburg, Austria, but our trip was curtailed when our scoutmaster was suddenly hospitalized for pneumonia.

        A couple of the Boy Scouts in our troop were sons of Colonel Bernard (Bernie) Frances Fisher, United States Air Force, who was awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions in the A Shau Valley.

        Sadly, he passed away last August.

        Would you BELIEVE this?

        For his incredibly heroic actions in the A Shau Valley, my friend Bernie Fisher was awarded the Silver Star one day, and a day later, was awarded the Medal of Honor.

        Not only that, but in the action that got him the Medal of Honor, he didn’t get a single wound, and he got the medal not for killing anybody, but for saving a life.

        I think his plane is on display at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio.

        Pretty nifty, huh?

        • He also has a ship named after him, the Maritime Vessel, “MAJ BERNARD F FISHER” (T-AK 4396), designed to haul cargo for the United States Air Force.

          Also, his middle name is “Francis”, not “Frances”.

    • jjak says:

      Never going tounderstand the tattoo faker thing, but it sure seems to be popular in that crowd. I guess sitting in the tattoo chair for a few hours is just like SF training.

    • Shawn says:

      I agree about having to show a DD-214 to get a certain tattoo. They can’t claim privacy, because they are about to have the entire world see the ink that they so proudly show off. Many of you know that I was a professional road cyclist during the 90’s. Well in our sport if you win the Nationals you are lucky enough to wear the United States flag for your jersey the following year. After that, for life you can have the stars and bars showing on the cuffs of your jersey. Just for the jersey company to print your clothing for the next year you have to get an official notorized letter from the U.S. Olympic committee stating you earned them. And this for all sense is not a life and death sport. For military tats you damn well should have to supply some kind of proof. I have another picture of a tatto on Alvarado of what looks like the “jump wings” which I don’t know what that stands for. I’ll go look for the picture and upload it so you guys in the know can identify what he’s representing with that one.

  4. Big Steve says:

    And what possesses so many of these hosers to claim BOTH Ranger and SF???? Think they’ll get twice as many chicks that way, or what?
    And on that topic, are there really that many ladies out there that get all hot and bothered about a guy’s military experience/exploits. To me, very few seem interested in that sort of thing. But maybe I just move in the wrong circles.
    Seems like it’s other guys who get interested or impressed with that stuff… especially if it involves airborne, combat experience, or things a cut above the average Joe soldier.

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      Phil Monkress’ wife left him when she found out he wasn’t a SEAL.

      • Hondo says:

        Gee. That’s . . . just . . . too . . . bad.

        IMO it also helps explain a few other things.

        • Sparks says:

          You mean like, why he’s out of the closet now?


          Interstate 95, Rest Area Hall of Fame.

          Florida State, Truck Stop Men’s Room Expert SharpSucker Badge.

          So, he’s got those awards going for him anyway.

      • Green Thumb says:


        As Hondo stated, that explains a lot.

  5. HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

    Special feces and a rump riding ranger…isn’t that special! I bet you that he was a first class salad tosser while he spent time in the hole.

  6. Flagwaver says:

    How the hell do you go through 10 years of service and get out as a Specialist? He must not have been that ate up if they allowed him to go Active, but still.

    • Skippy says:

      He jumped ship from a Compo2 (aka) reserve to active duty. So rank starts at time he went active. When I was with 2scr in Germany our RSS had a lot of career E-4s that where still around because Op-Tempo and because they where Short body’s,

    • @ FLAGWAVER, Et Alii:

      “How the hell do you go through 10 years of service and get out as a Specialist?”

      It’s easy.

      All you have to do is lose your temper and open up your big mouth.

      Been there, done that.

  7. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    The skull tat can easily be converted into half retarded clown looking village idiot with a wee bit of black, red, blue, yellow and pink!

  8. GDcontractor says:

    Cut himself while shaving. A purple heart for each chin.

  9. I don’t have any tattoos, because the Bible clearly tells us not to do it.

    Doesn’t it hurt when you get a tattoo?

    If it’s as painful as I think it is, plus a danger of a deadly AIDS infection, then why would guys risk getting their body painted up depicting symbols of stuff they’ve never done?

    Besides, this guy already had an honorable service, with several awards listed on the FOIA document.

    Service in Germany with a Signal Corps unit is good duty with lots of good memories.

    I know.

    Been there, done that, learned to say, “mox nix”.

    • Ozzie 11B says:

      I do have a few tats, and basically, it’s a personal choice.

      As far as why one would get something they didn’t earn? Low self esteem, no self respect, no respect for others, momma hugged him too much, momma didn’t hug him enough…. the why is an unanswerable question. My answer, because he was an idiot.

      I want to answer a few questions you had in your comment about tattoos.

      As I said yes, I have tats.

      Only military one I have is a small U.S. Army script on my shoulder.

      Below it is a very bad skull with flames, and by bad, I mean that literally. It’s horrendous. I was 17 and too drunk to notice that the tattooist was too. I’ve had it reworked a couple of times and now it is really horrendous, but I can laugh about it now, that’s the one I show these kids that talk about letting one of their buddies ink them.

      I also have some very nice pieces that I have had done different places in the world and each one holds a memory and a meaning for me.

      You may look at the one on my arm of a heart in flames, attached to a ball and chain, with a scorpion stinging the heart with claws around the ball as just a tattoo.

      The flaming heart represents my burning love, the ball and chain, my wife, the scorpion, the evils of the outside world. So, basically it means even the poisons of the outside world will never quench the fires of love between my wife and I. So some have different meaning to different people.

      I have several others that I picked up out of the military, and my wife also has artwork.

      As far as does it hurt? Yes. How much or little depends on where. There are some spots that hurt like slowly dragging a razor blade dipped in salt just deep enough to break the skin, there are some places that feel like a feather being lightly drawn across you. Is it worth the pain? Yes.

      OK, you also brought up a very important issue. Cleanliness and disease. Most states now have health codes and regulations on studios that even your favorite 5 star restaurant could not pass. The machines are bagged and the tubes put through a sterilizer. The needles come new out of a sealed packet. The artist wears gloves and a mask. Some states even require single use ink packets.

      Where uncleanliness becomes an issue is the “side jobber” who does tats at home in his spare time. Not talking about the pro that does his buddies, but I sure wouldn’t want the kid down the street that cuts my grass putting needle to me.

      Tattoos have become mainstream, and unfortunately, there are those who are going to walk in to a studio, look at the wall, and say, hey, that one looks cool, let me have that one.

      After my first, I saw a design I liked, I thought about it a while, and then a while longer. I would go to the shops in the area I was in and get to know the artists, see their work, check out the cleanliness of the shops, and how they did business. Only then would I take my design in and ask if they thought they could do it. This process took nearly 2 years for one of my pieces.

      Hope that clears up a couple of your questions on tattooing.

      “Good tattoos ain’t cheap, and cheap tattoos ain’t good.” – unknown

      And sporting unauthorized Military tattoos should be a crime punishable by removal with a belt sander. IMO

    • In a previous THIS AIN’T HELL post about tattoos (I can’t remember how long ago), I got just about EVERYBODY in this forum (plus other web site forums) upset with my comments.

      First of all, nobody liked having the Holy Bible and/or religious faith being part of the discussion.

      But most of the negative feedback was due to my raising the possibility that tattoos can compromise an undercover operation, and jeopardize military personnel working incognito and/or behind enemy lines.

      Having performed on stage as an amateur singer/songwriter and community theatre actor, I also wondered if tattoos could interfere with an individual’s aspirations in show business?

      I still wonder about those things.

      Whether military, police, or performing on stage, it seems to me to be highly impractical, and even life threatening, to have unique identifying marks put on one’s body when it’s unnecessary.

      I also wonder why prison inmates totally cover their bodies with incriminating “jailhouse tattoos”, which effectively stymies any opportunities for rehabilitation and assimilation upon their eventual release, while also making themselves an easy target for suspicious police officers.

      Thus, in my view, tattoos are always a bad idea because they can slam a lot of doors.

      The only tattoo I ever liked, and if I didn’t think the Lord disapproved, probably the only tattoo I would ever want, was when I saw a movie starring Chuck Norris, in which his character had a 101st Airborne patch tattooed on his right shoulder (identical to how it’s worn on the Army uniform – – – but only for veterans who served in combat with that unit).

      But, unfortunately, his 101st Airborne tattoo was done entirely with red ink.

      If I had a 101st Airborne patch tattooed on my right shoulder, I’d want it done in the proper colors.

      Mox nix.

      • DevilChief says:

        I worship the great spaghetti monster and he says ink is ok.

        • JohnE says:

          Chuck Norris is the original poseur…a former AF/SP who has never played one in a movie, always a Delta guy or something along those lines…gimme a break.

          (Ducks and covers, plugs ears and opens mouth to prep for incoming rounds…)
          The Bible and other religious texts tell us to do many things, and not to do others, yet we still do.

  10. Green Thumb says:


  11. 4thIDRVN says:

    WHY?? Why turn honorable service into disgrace? I was a grunt and very proud of my completely undistinguished service under fire. The guys that I made fun of; AirFarce & Navy, saved my life on several occasions. I remember talking to our M60 gunner as the F4’s dropped flaming hell on the dinks “I take back 1/2 of the awful shit I’ve said about the AF.” We loved you guys! Not to your face, of course. You were cake eaters and REMF’s. But you kept us dirt soldiers alive when we couldn’t force the dinks back on our own. Your service was ENOUGH!!

  12. 4thIDRVN says:

    I’m sorry. Way MORE than enough!


  13. Big Steve says:

    I was in the AF before I went Army, and I can say that sometimes there is more to the AF than meets the eye. Besides the PJs, TAC-Ps, and combat controllers, we had other rapid deployment units that were in the field more, and tactically competent than most Army or Marines know… combat communications units, RED HORSE engineer units, Prime Beef (Base Engineer Emergency Force, rapid deployment) teams, etc.
    In fact, as a member of the latter, I received more NBC training, with real tear and pepper gas, than I did in the Army.

    • Big Steve says:

      Oops… meant CS/riot gas instead of “pepper” gas.
      Guess I was thinking of pepper spray.

  14. Joe Williams says:

    I want to know how he was supposed to a 1st shirt with tats that show in any uniform ? Joe

  15. Green Thumb says:

    General Discharge = Shitbag.