Eddie Marlo Thomas-Ponce; Ranger, SF phony

| September 27, 2015


The folks at Military Phonies send us their work on this Eddie Marlo Thomas-Ponce fellow who claims that he spent ten years in the Army fighting his nation’s battles from 1999 – 2009 as a staff sergeant in Ranger and Special Forces units. Here’s a slice from his resume;

Thomas-Ponce resume

And his Linked In profile;

Ponce Linked In

If you don’t believe that, well, he has the tattoos – someone getting tattoos for phony service well, that would make them a jerk, right? So these have to be legit;


He should get a hold of the National Personnel Records Center so they can get his records in line with the DD214 he has on his arms;

Thomas-Ponce FOIA

Thomas-Ponce Assignments

Yeah, he was an entry-level discharge with 76 days of duty. He had high expectations for himself, but he couldn’t live up to those expectations. I especially like this “Sniper Tab” on his 101st combat patch;


Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (104)

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  1. Green Thumb says:

    And it appears he has access to kids through his bullshit.

    And has probably touched a few too boot.

    Matt Beck’s phony brother from another mother.


    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Maybe, JUST MAYBE he merely wants to be loved by kids, thus his “Weeble Physique”…

      …Not until they make up fake Military careers and get exposed!

    • Jabatam says:

      Matt Beck! Now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time…a long time

  2. sj says:

    Come on Jonn…COMSEC is classified stuff especially when it is done with SF/Rangers. That’s why there are no records on him after basic.

  3. Yes, that photograph of him with the Boy Scout has me greatly concerned.

    I sure hope someone in authority is taking an extra long hard look at this imposter.

    • Considering my own background prior to entering the United States Army, I really count myself especially blessed that I actually did succeed in completing honorable military service, and didn’t wind up like this guy.

      I realize how my experience could have, oh, so easily, gone a more sinister and ignoble route.

    • Eden says:

      I was thinking the same thing. . .

  4. Daisy Cutter says:

    I would say that you don’t want to be “That Guy” but since his name is Marlo Thomas you don’t want to be “That Girl”.

  5. Taurus 0302 USMC says:

    Public humiliation works.several years earlier a man at the hardware store had a soft cover with wings on it. I asked about it. He said he was Air Force Para Rescue. A few years later he was in Safeway with a Marine soft cover. I confronted him in the check out line.he left his groceries and ran out of the store. Now he avoids me but no more military headgear. A lot of people saw the confrontation and it is a small town.

    • Dave Hardin says:

      I have been doing the same for decades brother. My all time favorite was the idiot I asked what his MOS was, he said, “Cleveland”.

      We prayed, I laid my hands upon him, cast out a few demons, I parted the sea standing by the buffet, and sent him out to the land of the free.

      It is nice to hear there are others carrying out mission work to the masses. May the Silver Stars of Puller protect you on your journey.

      Semper Fi.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        My favorite Headgame is what I call “Bust the Bullshitter”. If I think someone I’m talking to is making shit up about his or her military service I ask them a question that would get a “FUCK NO! …” response from a real Vet. For instance if they say the were in the USMC, I’ll ask if they did Boot Camp at Coronado or Camp Ferris, and you won’t believe how many “Marines” I pulled that on fell for it, and I busted their chops in front of god and everybody (Verbally that is, there was no wall to wall counseling involved). Another critter I embarrassed was in a bar blabbing how he was SF, could do this and that, I asked him if he trained at Camp Tanner (Which exists in the State of FICTION), and he bragged and blabbed about the badassed training he got there. I blew the whistle on him in front of everyone he was babbling to, and he quickly disappeared!

      • GDContractor says:

        “We prayed, I laid my hands upon him, cast out a few demons,…”

        IMPOSTER!!!!! You are not a REAL Dave Hardin!!!! HA!!!

        Man, the nerve of some people…..

  6. Instinct says:

    Owner of a place called ‘Prettyboy Productions’?? Yeah, that doesn’t have a tickle monster feel to it AT ALL!

  7. Ex-PH2 says:


  8. Civilwarrior says:

    Sooooo…he couldn’t make through BCT at Ft. Jackson. Fort fucking Jackson? ‘laxin’ Jackson? Seriously?

    • MSG Eric says:

      No kidding, they have about a 97% graduation rate as I recall.

      • Sorensen25 says:

        To be honest the attrition rate of Fort Benning isn’t much higher. Yeah there’s more yelling and PT but it’s still an entry level MOS qualification school and the units need bodies.

    • Keepin' It Real says:

      I bet he had to be placed in the Fat Boy platoon or whatever they called it. Couldn’t make the required weight reduction and the rest is history.

      Not being deterred, he pressed forward and went on to serve out an exemplary military career in his own imagination.

    • John "Faker 6" Giduck says:

      I’ll be the one to say it: Basic Training is a grueling experience. Some days, you can’t even eat dessert.

      I always had dessert in Spetnaz training. When I think “spetsnaz”, I think “dessert”. Actually, when I think about anything, I thin “dessert”.


      John “Faker 6” Giduck

    • MikeD says:

      I’m guessing you were at Ft. Lost-in-the-woods. Jackson in summer was no fun. I remember at the rifle range we were downing two canteens an hour all day and never once needing to piss.

      Not to say Basic was hard. Cause all you had to do was what they told you. Sure, we got smoked now and again, but so what? Are you saying it was so much harder at Leonard Wood? And frankly, how would you know unless you did Basic at both? Honestly curious here.

      • David says:

        Lost in the Woods can be fun at any season… while my BCT there was Jan-Mar 77, I was raised in the area and can promise it gets as hot and humid there as anywhere I have lived since. The problem is not that they get one bad season – they can have all four bad all in one year.

  9. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    If he couldn’t even make it through BCT at “Relaxin’ Jackson”, he must be as tough as a bag of marshmallows! Yeah, the pic of him with the kid bugs the shit outta me too!

    • CLAW131 says:

      API, I’ll bet the house he received an Initial Entry Discharge due to FTS from JDWS (Jelly Doughnut Withdrawal Syndrome.)

      Another disgusting fat body (ala Leonard Lawrence), but at least Pvt Pyle made it through boot camp and was assigned an MOS. This turd did not even make it that far.

    • Green Thumb says:

      This dude’s two-hole needs some “relaxin” after the pounding he gets on a daily basis.

    • Skippy says:

      it’s called Club Jackeon… it’s the only spa in the Army….

  10. JimV says:

    Just how hard is Basic training now a days?

    BTW, on my first day of AIT, we had a big snow storm at Fort Devens. This young 20-year-old PVT had to get out of bed early and shovel snow. Oh well. ?

    • MSG Eric says:

      I hear they make them march some places sometimes. That’s gotta be rough on the poor kids.

      They may or may not make them do PT, its tough to be sure really.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I’ve even heard that nowadays the Drill Sergeants and DI’s will even *GASP* yell at the kids when they do something wrong, OH the poor little snowflakes, what about their precious self esteem? /SARC After I finished OSUT Training *COUGH* years ago, I could have sworn that my given name was “Hey, you!” “Slick”, “Shitbird”, Shithead” or “Meathead”!

    • Roger in Republic says:

      Jim, were you in the 196 th LIB? They trained as a unit in 1966 and went straight to RVN. We heard later that they got beat up pretty badly.

      • JimV says:

        Me? No, I was at Devens in late 1972. I spent 7-years in the ASA/INSCOM, and then went into Signal for the remainder of my military career. Fun times at Fort Gordon.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I can picture him in front of a DS’s desk with tears in his eyes bawling “SKITTLES, IF I DON’T GET MY BAG OF SKITTLES, I QUIT!!!”

    • nbcguy54ACTUAL says:

      Try Mountain-Climbers in shower shoes (flip-flops) and a towel around your waist.

      The flip-flops stayed on about two repetitions longer than the towel.

      Thank God I was in the first rank…

  11. Pineywoods NCO says:

    First of all, WTF is that crappy colored patch on his sleeve????

    Second and far more disturbing, Pretty Boy Productions? Searched for your organization, and found something that is rather disturbing. Why do pretty boys need corsets on Facebook??

    Finally, lay off the doughnuts, stupid. You look like you couldn’t live without them or you might also be the explanation why there is a shortage of cheese in South Louisiana. You see, your fat bald cousin that thinks he is a Chevy, and rather heavy, is too afraid to come out and admit he is a bag of moldy cheese….

    Just be honest with yourself and the rest of society too. Admit you are not what you are, take off the uniform and don’t get caught again.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Corsets? CORSETS???

      What is this twatwaffle? Is he juicy brucey jenner’s next remodeling project?

    • Andy11M says:

      That patch on his sleeve I believe is from a video game. Note that the bottom of it says “Ghosts” because all bad ass spec ops units call themselves that.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Yeah, I wonder if that’s from a comic book or a videogame? And a tan patch on an ACU Uniform? That is a NO GO at my station!! I also wonder about his forearm tattoo, “101 Airborne” instead of “101st Airborne”. OH, and his “rank” tattooed on him as well? YEAHHH RIGHT…

      He looks like a highly trained and experienced Pastry Assassin!

      • Skippy says:

        He is a Slowwwww Speed…… Two Week Wannabe Warrior. but He is a Grand Master of Call of Bootie. Anal Op’s ! ! ! !

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          His physique reminds me of an asswipe I used to work with who claimed he was prior USMC service, but got kicked out of Boot Camp for kicking his DI’s ass, I laughed my ass off right to his face!

  12. JimV says:

    Who wears their uniform after leaving the military? Strange. I kept my old fatigue jacket, my BDU jacket, and one set of BDU’S. Just for momentos. None of which I could fit into anymore. ?

    Guess I better get signed up for the VA Move program. ?

    • Andy11M says:

      I still have my A’s, and down in the basement somewhere is two duffles filled with all of my old BDUs/ACUs etc. I go down there at the start of every summer and pull out a pair of BDU pants and cut them into shorts for the summer. And even after 10 years, I’m pretty sure I can still fit into my old uniforms.

  13. D says:

    Oh, he’s most definitely legit. Doesn’t everyone wear what appears to be a CIB and a CAB at the same time? Also, doesn’t everyone wear three badges in a stack like his instead of stacked three high as the regulation indicates?

  14. HMCS (FMF) ret. says:

    Holy Shyte… this duds is one of the few dudes that have played and mastered that famous online game “Call of Booty – Anal Buttsekks Warrior” (with the sooper seekrit expansion pack “Kuwait Kid Missions”…

    Eddie “Marlo Thomas” Ponce – here’s your TAH copyrighted GOOGLE PIMP SLAP!!!

  15. sj says:

    A nit but I’ve never seen anyone write 101 Airborne…it’s always 101st.

    • CLAW131 says:

      That’s because so many of these Dindo Nuffins don’t know the 101st hasn’t been on actual jump status for over 40 years.

      But in the video games they are still jumping and killing Nazis.

    • MSG Eric says:

      That’s because he was an SF-Ranger. They all tatt 101 Airborne on their arm….

  16. 11BVet says:

    Holy shit. This guy is wearing the ghost recon unit patch. I thought that unit only existed in videogames. No wonder you cant find his records. Hes a ghost…

  17. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    He’s got that look. You know the one. No, not that one, the one that unmistakably means, “Yeah, I am right now dropping a load in my pants. So?”

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      At first I thought the look you were talking about was the thousand yard stare… or as they call it in video games the 12 inch stare as one peers into their enemy’s eyes.

      “There I was. Level five. Life draining out of me. I don’t care about trophies anymore. Fuck ’em. Switch to SAW and pull out a frag grenade. May as well have that last bear claw and final swig of coffee as I don’t know what’s around the corner.”

  18. Jarhead says:

    The more I think about it, the more we need take a serious look at this Muslim-looking POS. Who else would show pictures of himself with a midget beside him to make him look like Mr. T? Most all know this these days, but when you call an employer for a reference, through fear of lawsuit most ALL will verify ONLY beginning and end of employment history. Everyone worries about being sued for HEPPA violations among other things. My guess is we have not heard the last of him by any means. His military history is a complete make-believe LIE, nothing else. There is definitely something we do not know yet. Call me paranoid, but my gut burns on this one.

    • Jarhead says:

      As of this point I am more suspicious than ever of this poser. Check out the following link


      Slowly scroll down on the first page until you come across the name Eddie Thomas Ponce. Being of public record, put your cursor on his name and see what pops up in the right hand column.
      Oilfield training…Computer Science, Texas A & M 2001. Strange, didn’t he claim AD from ’99 until 2009 ???
      Why does my gut keep screaming at me? Again, there’s more to this than what Jonn has shared. In the TAH readership, I know there are others who can dig much deeper than I in five minutes.
      There’s your challenge for the weekend.

  19. sapper3307 says:

    Who needs a DD-214 when you can have tattoos.

    • sapper3307 says:

      By the way the mask tattoo is from the Los Solidos street gang and very popular in prison. One of my troops had it and just clamed he was a Motley Crue fan.

      • Jarhead says:

        Sapper…your notice of the tat and what it represents intrigued me a bit more.
        Check out the below link, scroll down to the 8th name & pix on the page. That’s him.


        “Owner: Guerilla warfare (sic.)
        Education: Univ. of Louisiana at Lafayette, Texas A & M, plus some special school for well inspectors.

        What’s missing? NO mention of military background. Go figure. It’s all yours now unless somebody else wants to dig more.

        • Jarhead says:

          O. K. Sapper….one more that probably you are the only one to know. Look again at his picture at the top of the page. Notice his left hand hanging with the gang sign I suppose????? This might just be more than a simple minded poser. Time for the serious computer-minded to take a look. Would like your take on the hand sign.

          • sapper3307 says:

            The hand signal is in Bernasty speak. I believe it means “gay for pay”.

            • Jarhead says:

              Guess what a douche I felt like today when I went to Military Phonies? Everything it took me an hour to accumulate was right there with more. Got to give them credit, they DO an exhaustive dig themselves. Not the personality as Jonn, but in depth they are. That being said, Sapper you get the award for catching what they missed….the meaning of the tat and the meaning of the hand signal. Something still tells me we are going to see more of this fucktard before it is over. Thanks for your insight.

  20. Rb325th says:

    You mean I could have skipped doing 12 years, and just bought some ink, and raided a surplus store? Piece of shit.

  21. Reb says:

    His patches are so little. I’m still learning about what ribbon, medals etc, goes with which branch. You guys spot them just like knowing the back of your hand.
    Some day I’ll get there.

  22. B Woodman says:

    Ranger? He looks like he ATE a Ranger!!

  23. Formally known as JR says:

    At least have the decency to put your non existent tab on the correct side

  24. USMCE8Ret says:

    I’ll just leave this here:

    • ChipNASA says:

      OK that was funner than it should have been…..and for no other reason, I’ll leave this right here because it has absolutely nothing to do with this thread except it *SOUNDS* like the Ranger Promo video you posted. This guy must have been from MD.
      VERY NSFW Lauguage.

      • Lee Beswick says:

        Henceforth, a warning shall be posted with these videos to alert viewers that they will be break out into fits of laughter for at least two days post viewing. Those were the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while …

    • GDContractor says:

      I think that was TSO in the Santa Suit. Ho ho ho.

  25. Tony180A says:

    Hmm I’ll make sure I pass on to Kappa Alpha Psi what an absolute piece of dog shit you are. I grew up in South Louisiana and part of that time was in Lafayette. I’m going to see if you and I know some of the same people (I have a strong feeling we do). Be my pleasure to enlighten them of your douchebaggery!

  26. Therapist says:

    I bet he looks in the mirror everyday and says “beefcake”.

  27. C2Show says:

    Damn shame didnt post this about a week ago. I was in the Lafayette/Opelousas area then. Definitely would have checked this POS out.

  28. Combat Historian says:

    Phony fucktard on a fat stick…

  29. 3/17 Air Cav says:

    We had a fatass like him in basic 1970. He lasted about six weeks. He was cut loose failure to adapt. The draft was still on, same low speed hi drag!! They could be twins..

  30. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=151088678571150&set=a.144360285910656.1073741827.100010100567050&type=3&source=11

    I believe thus guy has stolen valor. Please look at his facebook. William Caldwell claims to be a Base Commander for US Army

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      It looks like a new account – probably a Nigerian scam using a real soldier’s picture.

    • Combat Historian says:

      General Caldwell is a real general; conducted several combat history interviews with him in Iraq during 2006-07. Since I don’t do facebook, not sure if that’s his actual page or if some scammers are just using his name and photo…

  31. rdrn says:

    I have sent the “boy scout” HQ a copy of this posting. How dare this POS act like a inspiration for our next generation of leaders.

  32. Caleb says:

    I remember this guy very well. I had moved to Lafayette where I was training to be a manager for a physical therapy clinic.

    At the time the job was sucking and I saw this guy 1-2 times a week for 1-2 hours. I had an interest in enlisting so I had asked him some questions. Just really vague answers he gave me. Of course I didn’t think anything of it at the time.

    I remember him saying stuff like master sergeants don’t play but he never got into detail of his own service. He was walking with a cane if I recall and he was driving that big black truck or suv. He did mention he went to A&M and was in ROTC if I recall.

    If I ever see him in Laffy again ill call him out on it.