Simon Emilio Zablah; phony wounded soldier

| November 2, 2015

Simon Emilio Zablah

One of our friends send us the story of Simon Emilio Zablah from the South Florida Sun Sentinel. Zablah is from Broward County, Florida, where he has been telling his tales for years about being a wounded soldier with a Purple Heart and a Combat Action Badge from the war against terror and he says that he’s a Federal law enforcement officer.

According to the article, he went AWOL two weeks into his enlistment.

He now faces criminal charges, including impersonating a federal officer, lying to the government, stealing credit card information and committing identity theft in Broward and Palm Beach counties.


Zablah, who is also facing a domestic violence charge in Broward County, cut off his electronic monitor in August and fled to El Salvador after federal agents tried to question him. Though a U.S. citizen, he later told some people he was planning to return to South Florida, perhaps by being smuggled through Mexico, authorities said.

Zablah blames the domestic violence charge on his imaginary PTSD, of course. His friends say that he would go away every month for a weekend, pretending that he was going to drill, actually, he was just using his uniform to scrounge feel meals and lodging from well-meaning citizens. He used his stories to find roommates and jobs. You know, until he tried to rip off everyone he knew. He also used his phony documentation to beat traffic stops.

But, you know, stolen valor is a victimless crime.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (29)

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  1. Skippy says:

    well o well another two week warrior…

  2. Combat Historian says:

    “According to the article, he went AWOL two weeks into his enlistment…”

    Fer cryin’ out loud, shithead was probably still at reception station when he fled; goddammit there are some worthless fucks walking the streets out there…

  3. CAARNG 68W says:

    Not only does the bastard have a horribly shitty name, but the fucker lives up to it by being one of the worst shitbags I’ve read about on this site.

  4. Reb says:

    Brainless shit ? bags. I can’t believe at what lengths posers go to get a free meal, etc. Don’t they know someone will find out, expose them and the rest of their lives its going to follow them. Just for a pat on the back.

  5. SFC D says:

    If Bernath had a son…

  6. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Flabby-faced snot-spines pus-nutted no-load bag of wet roach shit! DAMMIT, blubber-heads like him make me want to cuss hard enough to peel the paint off of an M1 Abrams! I sure hope he spends some time as the “property” of Bubba & Thor, two weeks? I bet he didn’t even make it out or reception!

  7. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    What, no blah-blah jokes?

  8. Ex-PH2 says:

    An above-average fake this time. Kudos for his originality. Cutting off his ankle bracelet monitor must have hurt. Did he get that done at a tattoo parlor?

  9. Airdale USN says:

    So he left and told someone he’ll be back. Right!!!!

  10. Airdale USN says:

    So he left, and someone said he’ll be back?? RIGHT!!! Don’t hold your breath Fed’s!!

  11. C2Show says:

    Ah Florida, the cesspool for Stolen Valor somehow!

    • B Woodman says:

      Well, look at it geographically in relation to the rest of the US of A. The very bottom of Florida is at the very bottom of the US, kind of like the P-trap is at the bottom of a sink or other waste disposal. That’s where all the flotsam and jetsam naturally gravitates.

  12. Tony180a says:

    What a fucking scumbag! I guess he’s returning to get the free vets meal at Golden Corral!!

  13. Sarge says:

    Looks like his face is guilty of Stolen Donuts as well.