Ken Goldstein; the Coast Guard phony JAG officer

| February 9, 2016

Captain Goldstein

Sometimes it takes months and even years to get a FOIA back from the National Personnel Records Center and that’s what happened in this case. We talked about Ken Goldstein in August of 2014 when, according to the New York Post he was arrested in a New York State courtroom for impersonating a Coast Guard JAG lawyer claiming that because of his JAG status, he could practice law in any court room in the country.

When he was dragged from the courtroom in restraints, he had to stop by the hospital to be treated for his PTSD. Of course.

You’ll also notice on his vest in the picture above, he’s claiming that he’s a Desert Storm veteran and Operation Iraqi freedom veteran.

Well, we ordered his records back then and we just got them yesterday;

Kenneth Goldstein FOIA

Goldstein Assignments1

Goldstein Assignments2

Goldstein Assignments3

Ken-Goldstein (2)

Goldstein Awards

I’m sure he was in the shit – in New Jersey, New York City, Connecticut and Rhode Island. From 1982 – 1989 – he got out a year before Hussein invaded Kuwait. Yes, I know there was Coast Guard in the Persian Gulf, but he wasn’t one of them. Not to hear him tell it though, like he does on his LinkedIn page and Vet Friends. Actually, he was a Quartermaster (supply room navigation guy) and an E-4 not a JAG, not a Lieutenant Commander;

Goldstein LinkedIn1

Goldstein LinkedIn2

Kenneth Goldstein VetFriends

I only wish that he was the craziest guy we’ve known who thought he was a lawyer.

UPDATED: Goldstein pleaded guilty in Bronx County on January 22d and he’s scheduled for sentencing on March 22d. So I guess this turned out to be timely after all. Thanks, NPRC.

And more;

KENNETH GOLDSTEIN Goldstein is facing two counts of Practicing or Appearing as an Attorney-At-Law Without Being Admitted And Registered and 1st Degree Offering a False Instrument for Filing. He is accused of posing as a military lawyer in the Bronx and several other counties in New York and misrepresenting veterans in separate Family and Civil Court cases.

KENNETH GOLDSTEIN Goldstein is facing charges of Aggravated Harassment 2 for a series of threatening phone calls in September 2014 made to a complainant, the defendant alleging the complainant had made false allegations about him. Both Goldstein and the complainant are veterans who met through their weekly visits to a VA hospital.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (83)

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  1. rb325th says:

    I wonder, has he ever stranded his boat due to a lack of fuel?
    Fruit loops.

  2. Sapper3307 says:


  3. Hondo says:

    Hmm. Don’t think the USCG assigns too many of it’s JAG officers to cutters. I’d say he FoS.

    • Mike220 says:

      While this guy is so full of shit his eyes are brown, it’s not unheard of either. There aren’t legal billets on ships true, but legal officers can compete for operational jobs. My last CO on the cutter when I was in was commissioned as a lawyer but between stints in various JA billets he also did operational tours on shore and afloat.

      One of the many nuances of the CG is they don’t have a staff corps like the Navy. All officers are considered line officers so they’re not restricted to one career field.

  4. Mayhem says:

    What JAG attorney doesn’t leave the military to become a shoe salesman? Isn’t that why most people enter the legal field? So they can gain the experience required to sell shoes in their twilight years? Fuckin’ POS, I bet he still lives in his mom’s basement.

  5. The Commentor' Formerly Known as MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Very minor correction:

    US Navy Quartermaster is essentially a Navigator. He assists the Officer of Deck (OOD), one with the ‘CON’, Ship’s Navigation Officer and/or Skipper in reseaching and plotting most courses. He is an expert with charts, sexton and all navigation systems.

    Not at all like US Army Quartermaster.

    Respectfully submitted,


    • Hondo says:

      I’m curious, MCPO. What precisely would a Navy/USCG E4 Quartermaster do other than turn the ship’s/boat’s wheel or move levers/push buttons as directed by the OOD?

      • Silentium Est Aureum says:

        QM is actually a pretty serious job. They maintain all the charts, update the NOTAMS, act as part of the piloting party in restricted waters, and yeah, plot course and location to make sure the OOD/CO don’t hit shit they shouldn’t.

        That being said, 7 years and can’t get past QM3? Someone is either a rock with lips, or repeatedly stomped on his crank, or both.

        • 20thEB67 says:

          Yep. But not serious. or perhaps glamourous enough for this shitbird. Well Ken, your shining star is burning out. You can take your phoney vest and stick it up your ass.

          Eat a bag of shit.

      • MustangCryppie says:

        Hondo, being a QM is a bigger than that:


        “The quartermaster is the enlisted member in charge of the watch-to-watch navigation and the maintenance, correction, and preparation of nautical charts and navigation publications. He or she is also responsible for navigational instruments and clocks and the training of ship’s lookouts and helmsmen. He or she performs these duties under the control of the ship’s navigator or other officer if there was no officer navigator. In the modern navy, a quartermaster is a petty officer who specializes in navigation. The rating abbreviation is QM. The symbol used for the rating and worn on uniforms is a ship’s wheel.”

        What you’re thinking of is the helmsman, which is a job that can be done by any rated (or non-rated) Sailor.

      • Hondo says:

        SEA, MC: thanks. Not being Navy or USCG, I didn’t know. Hence the question.

        A follow-up: on a small ship/boat like a cutter or frigate (yeah, I know a frigate is much larger), what amount of responsibility would an E4 Quartermaster be given? Would they be primary at their job while on watch, or would they be a “flunkie” whose work was supervised?

        • Silentium Est Aureum says:

          I knew QMSN’s (E-3) who were qualified QMOW (Quartermaster of the Watch.)

          If you think it’s not a serious job, might I suggest you Google USS SAN FRANCISCO (SSN-711).

          Yeah, screw the pooch on that job and losing a stripe is the least of your worries.

          In USCG, a QM3 would be part of a boat crew, but IIRC, the boat crews are usually led by a CPO or junior officer.

        • Steve M says:

          I was a QM3 on the USCGC Redwood, a 153 ft coastal buoy tender that was based in New London, CT. The Redwood was replaced by the USCGS Evergreen, which was a 180 ft buoy tender. He was a QM3 on the Evergreen.

          A QM3 on a buoy tender actually has quite a bit of responsibility. He would be the QMOW (Quartermaster of the Watch, often standing duty with just the OOD and the helmsman on the bridge. He would be doing all the actual work of navigation, such as plotting courses and taking fixes to determine the ship’s actual position every 15 minutes. He would then make recommendations to the OOD about any course adjustments. The OOD is ultimately responsible, but they get most of their information from the QMOW. He would also be responsible for all the weather readings and recording all the navigation information and any other activity on the ship’s log.

          On a buoy tender back then, the buoys were set in place using horizontal sextant angles to objects on shore. (Now it’s done with GPS.) He would have had a key role in that as well. He would technically do that under the supervision of the lead QM (probably a QM1), but as long as he showed basic competence, that supervision would be minimal.

          Coast Guard Quartermasters also played the dual of role of Signalman, meaning he had to be trained in semaphore, Morse code (flashing light), and signal flags. In reality, the last time he had to use those skills was probably when he was in school for them.

          The Quartermaster rate was eliminated in 2003. If I remember correctly, there was a new rate called Operations Specialist that was created, and QMs either entered that rate or became Boatswain’s Mates

          • John Kilbreth says:

            I served on the evergreen with this douche. USCGC Evergreen was a 180 in name only. She was used as a Oceanographic research vessel then, just before I reported aboard from QM school, she was re designated a WMEC and we did fisheries on Georges bank mostly.

        • Ex-Garbage Gun Shooter says:

          I served on a submarine and things work a bit differently on the boats, as far as rank and responsibilities are concerned, however to the best of my recollection the Quartermasters pretty much took care of determining where the boat was and where it had been but, particularly during war games, officers would sometimes jump in and take over. Nevertheless, having stood a number of Auxiliary Man forward watches, which put me right there in the same space with the Quartermasters for many hours I never saw their work questioned.

          Again, this may be a boat thing though. Back in my day rank didn’t matter much once the boat was at sea and each member of the crew was expected and encouraged to “take charge and march off smartly”.

          • MustangCryppie says:

            When I rode on subs in the mid 80s, I don’t remember QMs on board. That position was filled by NAV ET’s. Is my memory faulty?

            • Silentium Est Aureum says:

              Yes it is. Subs have both. Did then, still do.

              No worries. Some morning I give myself a pat on the back if I walk out the door with my shoes tied on the right feet and my fly zipped up.

            • Bubblehead says:

              Also of note, the Navy has a habit of changing the names of rates but not the jobs. The QM rate was eliminated years ago and the QM’s were rolled, along with radiomen (RM) into the ET rating. Now, their job hasn’t changed (navigation or radio) we just write their rank as something different but still call them Quartermaster or Radiomen. They did the same thing with Torpedomen, turned them into Machinist’s Mates (Weapons).

          • Silentium Est Aureum says:

            Yup. Fish are the great equalizer. Saw a qualified E-3 tell a nonqual E-5 to get the fuck off the mess decks while they were watching movies and to go get qualified.

            E-5 complains to the COB (Chief of the Boat, senior enlisted man on board.)

            COB replies, “I’d have told you the same thing. Get hot, nonqual!”

            • Airdale (AW) USN says:

              I like that!!

            • MustangCryppie says:

              Yup, a non-qual puke is lower than whale shit, no matter what the rank

            • Bobo says:

              I saw many a non-qual E-5 told to move to the end of the chow line by a qualified E-3. Until you were qualified you didn’t have your own rack (we put mattresses on the deck between the missile tubes in MCML for them), didn’t watch movies, and didn’t eat first. I was a qualified E-4 for quite a while and I’d tell the non-qual E-5s to go screw when they started the “I outrank you and shouldn’t have to clean bilges because you aren’t” crap. It was a hell of a motivator to get qualified.

      • The Commentor' Formerly Known as MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

        It is, as noted, a serious job, however Law & Order has nothing to do with it!

        Any PUPPY MONKEY BABY can be a helmsman.

        On the other hand, a well trained and bright monkey can be a QM!

  6. Old Trooper says:

    I’m still trying to figure out why the fuck you would be wearing a leather vest while piloting your sailboat?

    • Hondo says:

      Maybe he’s a biker also, and wears the vest for both.

      Gotta show off the bling.

      • AnotherPat says:

        He’s missing a ponytail…or a manbun.


        • Hondo says:

          Oh, I think there’s a good chance he’s about to get really familiar with manbuns . . . as a provider.

      • NECCSEABEECPO says:

        One more Vest, Here I am A phony these guys kill me. Why oh why they wear that shit in public every time I see one I’m like shit here we go. I may wear an old unit T or a grunt style shirt but other than that WTF.

        Hondo, I’m a Navy guy and the only Q-Masters I worked with and know were Army so I’m with you but I do know the Navy ones drive boats.

        • The Commentor' Formerly Known as MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

          Dear US Army Guys,

          Ah, WRONG!

          You sail or steer boats and … navigate ships!

          You DRIVE cars, busses, bycicles, trucks etc …

          You can also DRIVE your wife crazy …but that is wee different and that lesson will be covered in a separate thread!

          You fly kites, aeroplanes, rockets, ballons etc …

          You ride horses, Harley’s (specifically), your girlfriend and Ferris wheels etc …

          Next week will review basic shoe tying and the color wheel.

          Hope this helps!

          • Hondo says:

            Methinks MCPO is just jealous because someone wouldn’t let him drive the boat. (smile)

            • NECCSEABEECPO says:

              Got it Master Chief but when I was around RIVRON and UCT Teams they always said who wants to drive the boat and yes I know they are small craft and I know hoe to Steer (drive) one. Mark V has a joy stick type system and cockpit of RIVRON boats are set up like driving (steering) or flying. Got it… Just saying the sailors need to speak sailor talk and this would not happen and you know I am not Army but thank you.. Not jealous of shit and have done plenty of cool shit without being on ship.. got it and OUT..

    • The Commentor' Formerly Known as MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

      Ghey and Underway!

  7. Toasty Coastie says:

    Gargoyle Gonads….

  8. Atkron says:

    That Resume is funny as fuck!

    The dates don’t align (USCG & Store employment), and his commentary for each job or position are classic stoopid.

    One would think that a learned man such as a supposed Lawyer would be able to figure out how a resume works.

    One highlight for his career is that his sales kicked Manhattan stores ass.

    You can take everything else away from him….but not that.

  9. Bobo says:

    At least Lawn Dart Danny completed law school. I don’t think that he actually learned anything there, but he got a diploma.

    I’m also wondering how anyone would believe that someone who served as a JAG would then leave the service and move directly into being a retail service manager at Pep Boys.

  10. Atkron says:

    I wonder if he’s related to Al?

  11. IDC SARC says:

    Great front page pic, because what real vet doesn’t bling out his civvies in that same manner?

  12. MrBill says:

    Wow – he went to the Naval Law School in Yorktown, Virginia. A very exclusive institution – it may have had only one attendee.

    • Hondo says:

      Yorktown? Wonder if the Naval Law School is at the Weapons Station or at Cheatham Annex (technically in Williamsburg, but not far away)?

      • USCG GMC (ret) says:

        The USCG Quartermaster “A” school was at USCG Training Center Yorktown (literally next to the battlefield) until the rate was absorbed by Boatswain’s mate or Operation Specialist. IDK why people want to exaggerate or lie about what they did in the service. We all played a part in the service of the country and most of us will do it again. Even picking up cigarette butts has a part on what we do.

    • IDC SARC says:

      All seafarers know the the best sealawyers practice on the messdecks.

    • MrBill says:

      Of course, the actual Naval Justice School is in Newport, RI.

      • Hondo says:

        My reply about NWS Yorktown and Cheatham Annex was actually a joke – neither is exactly a training base.

        Cheatham does have some nice MWR cottages, though.

  13. Ex-PH2 says:

    Hey, do not knock shoe salesmen. When I was at the gas station last week, I ran into a guy who sells them for $2,000/pair. Yes, they cost that much. But they are restored antiques.
    I should have asked him if he wanted my mother’s 1928 prom shoes. They need a new home.

  14. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    This shit is actually funny, if you read the NY Post article. The guy is a nut who lunged at a judge when the judge raised the issue of fraud. Cripes. It may be, too, that he did represent at least one poor SOB in the Bronx. Well, he’ll be able to play Perry Mason now for sure. He can represent himself. I am sure that will go well.

    • Hondo says:

      I’m guessing the guy he represented in the Bronx will end up with a new trial (I’m assuming he was convicted or pleaded guilty). Let’s hope that NYC and/or NY state stick this guy with the costs for the retrial – to include the cost of a real lawyer defending the guy on retrial.

  15. Combat Historian says:

    Nice unearned ICM ribbon patch you have on your leather vest there, dickhead…

  16. AnotherPat says:

    Speaking of lawyers…

    That one special lawyer’s buddy has serious competition:

  17. pissedUSCGMKC says:

    He is a POS, disrespectful to all Coasties as well as all men and women that have served proudly in uniform. Sadly even worse since he did serve but I guess he felt that his service was not enough so had to jack it up with total BS that is so blatant BS, it is almost funny and would be except so many have fallen for it.

    As a retired Coastie, from a long line of Coastie, this hits home even more. I hope that he gets the just rewards of being call out.

    In regards to Quartermaster Rate, in USCG it is like Navy, they are not supply but Navigation related. Depending on the unit and the pay grade, they may have a great deal or responsibilities for sure. Nonetheless, even as a Third Class Petty Officer they will know navigation very well and on ships are very vital. Have known many a great QM even some junior ones that could do celestial navigation with the best of them and were sexton gurus, others barely could figure out port from starboard.

    Oh and Yorktown does not have a JAG School, though since it is a training command, they may a few course for legal, but for sure not where ones get lawyer degree to become JAG.

    Bad enough when we have some wanna bees trying to pose as Military, worse when one was and then try to make their times something. Anyone that proudly served in the uniform of our country should not nor need to make their service out anything other wise since just service honorably is more than enough since now and days it is such a small percentage that does. Idiots like this bring discredit to all unfortunately.

    • Hondo says:

      Oh and Yorktown does not have a JAG School,. . .

      Indeed. Based on this link to USCG JAG history, it appears the USCG does not now have and never had an in-house law school. They appear to have opted instead to send their personnel wanting to be JAGs to either civilian law colleges or law schools run by other services.

      • Alberich says:

        None of the services has a “law school” in the sense of “a full three-year law program”….to be a JA you have to get the law degree (and a law license in D.C. or one of the states) first.

        (Funded Legal Education officers may get their law school paid for based on prior service…but they always get the degree at a civilian school.)

        The Army, Navy, and Air Force do have JAG schools to run shorter courses specifically for JA’s. The Army JAG school also runs a one-year LL.M. course, typically attended by O-4’s. (Every active Army JAG who is going to stay in has to take it.) It’s sometimes attended by foreign officers and officers from different services, as mentioned on the site you linked. But that’s for people who are JA’s already, and you don’t make it in the door without a law degree in hand.

        (Extremely minor points, given the subject at hand, but I thought you might find them of interest.)

        • Alberich says:

          (Slight correction: I’ve heard that Army JA’s who stay in can get permission to get their LL.M.’s at civilian schools, but most do the Army “grad course.”)

          • Alberich says:

            Oh, and the Naval Justice School is not called the “Navy Law School,” and it’s not in Yorktown. This guy didn’t even attend the University of Google.

        • Hondo says:

          Thanks, Alberich. Not being a former JAG, I was misreading Army’s the LL.M. course as being law school. Appreciate the correction.

  18. Smaj says:

    Another motorcycle leather vest-wearing phony. Shocking.

  19. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    YET ANOTHER lying-assed fartbucket, what a roach turd!

  20. Martinjmpr says:

    Do you think we’d have as many fake JAGs if it wasn’t for that silly TV show?

    I’m still blaming Charlie Sheen and Magnum PI for all the fake SEALs out there.

  21. Green Thumb says:

    All-Points Logistics would take him in a New York minute.

  22. BridgeBurner189 says:

    In other news the coast guard rejoices in the fact that they are finally cool enough to have fakers.

  23. Sparks says:

    I see he’s rockin’ a Silver Star on his “rack of shame”, albeit way out or order. So, he’s go that going for him. Poor picture quality so if I’m wrong feel free to correct me.

  24. Jonn Lilyea says:

    UPDATED: Goldstein pleaded guilty in Bronx County on January 22d and he’s scheduled for sentencing on March 22d. So I guess this turned out to be timely after all. Thanks, NPRC.

    And more;

    KENNETH GOLDSTEIN Goldstein is facing two counts of Practicing or Appearing as an Attorney-At-Law Without Being Admitted And Registered and 1st Degree Offering a False Instrument for Filing. He is accused of posing as a military lawyer in the Bronx and several other counties in New York and misrepresenting veterans in separate Family and Civil Court cases.

    KENNETH GOLDSTEIN Goldstein is facing charges of Aggravated Harassment 2 for a series of threatening phone calls in September 2014 made to a complainant, the defendant alleging the complainant had made false allegations about him. Both Goldstein and the complainant are veterans who met through their weekly visits to a VA hospital.

    • Eden says:

      Maybe we need to look into filing an FOIA on this Sheila V. Tabarsi person, too?

      • Jonn Lilyea says:

        Her blog reminds me of someone. Can’t quite put my finger on it.

        Therefore, this BAND OF TERRORIST is COMPLETELY UNJUSTIFIED in spewing the amount of hate and anger towards the effort, unless they have something to gain from it, which wouldn’t be a surprise. Otherwise, their intention to INCITE A RIOT and commit unprovoked ATTACKS on DECORATED UNITED STATES WARTIME VETERANS is nothing less than a HATE CRIME and should be treated as such by the proper authorities.

      • Hondo says:

        Standing offer: if someone can come up with the info (FirstName/MiddleName/LastName, Place of Birth, Date of Birth, and approx dates of service), I’ll file the FOIA. SSN also works in place of DOB/POB.

        Unfortunately, I’m guessing “Sheila V. Tabarisi” may not be the name under which she served. So even with the above, I’m not holding my breath after I file.

        As always, people looking for info SHOULD NOT do anything unlawful to obtain the above info.

        • Cornbread says:

          There’s some question about the middle name. She also uses the last name Hibbitts and Tucker. She has three felony convictions in LA County, CA under the lasts name Hibbitts. DOB is 4/1966 – still trying to nail the day. She’s now changed her profile on facebook to say that she attended the “College of the Air Force,” Whatever the hell that is…

  25. Green Thumb says:

    He could also work for VA’s General Counsel.

    And all things considered, do as better job.

  26. Roy Martinsen says:

    HE should of come to Vietnam with the relative few of us that did. Myself and many more CG
    nam vets are living their life with agent orange. This clown should be keel hauled.
    nothing but a bullshit artist

  27. Midnightguy says:

    On a side note to this guy: Wow, that woman Really, REALLY wants to end poverty.. Good for her.. But what does being a 4th Generation Cherokee Shaman have to do with it? Another case of look at me I’m an oppressed person. I deserve attention for simply being born Native American. . Stick to fighting poverty lady. The more someone gives us every detail of what they have done, who they are and their racial/cultural back round it makes me think you are covering something up with all that personal noise. Especially a non profit. NY is full of them and many have been closed and or investigated for fraud..

  28. shipdit says:

    Thank you for your well-documented exposure of this fraud. Do you have any update on his sentencing that was scheduled for March 22nd?