Gareth Garrison; phony Marine

| June 30, 2016

Gareth Garrison head

Someone sent us their work on this fellow Gareth Garrison who claims that he was a Marine, and, of course, a sniper;

Gareth Garrison cap

Gareth Garrison Claim

Gareth Garrison Claim2

He hangs out at the local VA telling tales about how he’s a retired Master Sergeant of Force Recon, but as much time as he spends at the VA, he never sees a doctor. I know you’ve seen those guys. Well, his records confirm it, not so much;

Gareth Garrison FOIA

47 days in the Air Force. We’ve seen folks with less service, but not many.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (61)

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  1. Graybeard says:

    47 days isn’t enough to earn a “thank you for your service” – ’cause he didn’t serve.

  2. Dapandico says:

    Wasn’t he on SNL back in the day with Belushi?

  3. Skippy says:

    Another 60 day washout
    Hits the Crapper
    Congrats on your Google fame

  4. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    DAYUM, he has less time in the Air Force than Giduck had in the Army. But hey, I wonder how soon he’ll spout off for us to shut up because his USMC time is *whisper* – “Classified”?

    • Mick says:

      Yup. It’s all “classified”, and his records are “sealed” (at the direction of the President, of course).

      Not many people know this, because Gareth really doesn’t like to talk about it (it riles up his severe case of The PTSD, don’tcha know), but when The Marine Corps first recognized his innate, lethal badassery, he was recruited straight off of the Yellow Footprints at MCRD Parris Island, sent directly to Scout-Sniper training, and then, on verbal orders that he received personally from the Commandant, he was immediately inserted into “the shit” via HALO jump on a series of highly classified missions that he still can’t talk about to this day.

  5. Bobo says:

    He served with Jose Qualls. Just ask him.

  6. ChipNASA says:

    Back in 1981, the USAF Basic was 6 and 1/2 weeks, now it’s 8 and 1/2 since 2015.

    So if I get my maths right, 47 days is just about enough time to ALMOST make it out of basic training.
    ALMOST being the key word here.
    He apparently washed out.

    Fucking cumstain.

    • Usafvet509 says:

      Chip, basic was still 6 1/2 in 2000 when I went through. 47 is barely enough to clear that.

      • Hack Stone says:

        Is that 6 1/2 weeks of training days, or from date of arrival to graduation? You need to factor in time spent in Seperations being processed for discharge. That probably burns up at least a week. It really says something about his intestinal fortitude that he cannot make it through Air Force basic training. Where do we get such men?

        • ChipNASA says:

          I’d say from memory that it’s from the time the bus stops to the time you graduate if Memory serves me well.
          I started 1 May 1984 and was out and on the way to Tech School at Sheppard AFB, mid to late June…so yeah.

          • Bill M says:

            Aahhh! Sheepherder AFB, TX. First duty station way back in 1969 – Titan II Launch Officer tech school. It was also the entry station for new nurses. Fun times.

        • IntelGunny says:

          Hell, my Spousal Unit made it through Marine Corps boot camp, and this bozo washed out of air farce basic— what a total loser.

  7. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    I’ve got more time on the shitter at test depth eating strawberry ice cream than this fucker had in, total.

  8. JimV says:

    He is in San Antonio? I’ll have to look for him next time I am at the Audie Murphy VAMC.

    Who goes around telling stories about their military service? I rarely mention it to anyone.

    I think he is a tard.

  9. Nonner says:

    Gareth…wasn’t that the name of David Bowie’s character in Labyrinth?

  10. Usafvet509 says:

    Looked up his FB. No way to comment on his bullshit, of which there is plenty. Another Obeyme sheeple person, who has the unmitigated gall to share a post about Jesus 2 posts from the bullshit about Obozo

  11. FatCircles0311 says:

    Fuck this guy forever.

    • Just An Old Dog says:

      With the barbed cock of Satan, seconds after it was pulled out of a brimstone forge

  12. Mick says:

    Enough already with the phony Marines this week.

    First it was Qualls, now this guy shows up.

    All of this relentless assclownery is pushing the limits of endurance.

  13. Green Thumb says:

    I imagine most of his time kicking it at the VA is in the men’s room.

    Meatgazing so that he can sniper him some two-holes.


  14. Dave Hardin says:

    Lets see what the VA does now. Probably nothing. Boot his ass off the property.

  15. OldManchu says:

    I fucking hate guys like this. Find people in a situation where they are fixed in location, such as waiting at the VA, and then start throwing up your bile on them with the bullshit stories….. STFU loser! You could have spent your time volunteering at the VA instead of making it about you.

  16. J D Pruett says:

    Why do all the fake ones claim to be Marines

  17. IDC SARC says:

    C’mon Gareth…let’s hit the surf mah buddah

  18. IDC SARC says:

    Face book page has lots of Marine/Recon references, no affiliations with any veteran’s organization, but he does like OORAH clothing.
    Whatta hero.

    He’s also apparently racist…kill whitey!

    • Mick says:

      Well, this guy’s story just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?

      A racist phony Marine.

      • IDC SARC says:

        and he’s apparently a garbage man…typical post career transition for Recon snipers.

        • IDC SARC says:

          …..everybody knows the best combat divers transition to roto-rooter

          • Mick says:

            Ha! Shack!

            A good buddy of mine is a retired Gunny who spent quite a bit of time in Recon Battalion and Force Recon on both coasts and in Okinawa. He’d absolutely love to encounter someone like this guy or that other knucklehead Qualls. And I’d absolutely love to witness it.

          • Cem says:

            OH! Of course.

  19. Green Thumb says:

    According to the VA these days 47 days is long enough for you to get the PTSD. Even in basic training.


    • USMCMSgt(Ret) says:

      Nowadays, the yellow footprints are probably considered a form of “micro-aggression”, so there’s probably a batch of clowns claiming PTSD for just showing up to recruit training and without having experienced training day 1.

  20. jarhead says:

    If this phony REALLY pisses you off (and we KNOW it DOES!) call television station KSAT in San Antonio. Ask for a reporter named Shawn and let him know there’s a hell of a bunch of us who despise military phonies. Phone number is (210) 351-1200

    NO amount of phone calls will be too many.

  21. Tony180a says:

    The toilet bowl runneth over with turds today!!

  22. Cornholio says:

    When I joined the AF in ’76 they called Basic “the fastest six weeks of your life”. I guess it was super-fast for this fuckstain.

  23. Grimmy says:

    I find myself somewhat sympathetic for guys like this.

    You know, everyone wishes they’d been Marines. It’s just how it is.

  24. Lockjaw says:

    This assclown has probably never fired a military weapon. He couldn’t hit the target with a shotgun. He should lick the shit out of Maggie’s drawers.

  25. HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

    Another rump riding, ballsack licking, taint tickling, two-hole probing, Call of Booty – Anal Buttsekks Warrior!

  26. NAVY VET says:

    Im in san Antonio i know this guy says he was a drill instructor for 10 years recon sniper for 13. he is a veteran commander at haven for hope homeless shelter. The group is called Covert. He takes money from real veterans for rent. Which the shelter says everything is free. He is a real shit bag. What is funny he calls out other stolen Valors. I am dead ass serious because i live at that shelter in the veteran area

    • Usafvet509 says:

      Haven for hope has now been emailed about this. I will be attempting to contact them on FB as well

    • andrew says:

      Yeah thats they guy that keeos saying he is a master gunnery sergeant, his nick name is gunny, or sarge. I know him i gave him money for the veterans to help them. I can’t believe he used it for himself and the veterans did not get to benefit from it.

      • AFVET says:

        I seen this guy at audie murphy. This dude talks about how he suffers from ptsd from he his men were gunned down in the jungle. Then he lost his best friend in the desert. He said he has a hard time coping with the shit and he was kicked out because he did not pass an inspection. I did not know that master gunnery sergeants got kicked out for not passing an inspection. He said the VA screwed him from his military retirement and is fighting for it for years. This guy is so full of shit. Then one of his missions was so classifed that he could get arrested for war crimes if it got uncovered. So that is why he is homeless so that the government keeps him quiet.

        • Cem says:

          Your kidding me he’s been saying all that! Wow I don’t understand why people just don’t have integrity which is a core value he didn’t even pass that haha

    • Cem says:

      OH! That’s right I saw him do that with a couple guys. He called it (money for the kitty) or some shit like that.

      • matthew says:

        Yeah he got his ass beat by a 120 gay kid. I thought recon marines were hard core. His eye was swollen like a mother fucker. Always going around talking about his beloved corps. And yelling at people who he finds out is faking military service. I live at that shelter to. Im not a vet but this guy talks alot of shit.

  27. ex-OS2 says:


  28. JimV says:

    I think I may have seen this guy yesterday standing by the entrance to the Polytrama building at the VA.

  29. Kevin says:

    You can’t bar him because the laws on Veterans eligibility did not change to 1988 I believe. Before that anyone that went in and was discharged with less than two years service can use the VA. I have one guy who was in for two weeks and he is a chronic user and abuser of the VA, nothing you can do.


  30. MED says:

    This fucker walks around haven for hope screaming about his beloved corps. And how he can disarm security and police and take their riot gear. Because that is what he learned in recon school. Talks about how if anyone walks up in the vet camp he would beable to disable them with a single hit. The funny part is he is always telling people how he can spot a fake veteran. Yet he seems to be up here. That’s all he did was make fun of airforce vets that was in the veteran area and he is airforce.

  31. IDC SARC says:

    I see Gareth has quietly removed from his FB page all of his pictures that had any references to Marine Recon. lol

  32. AJ Harris says:

    Now he says the person that submitted this has his birthday wrong, but the rest of his info is correct.fucking lying piece of shit. Mother fucker wouldn’t know what a marine was if it slapped him in the Face.