Charles T. “Chuck” Hoelzel; phony SEAL, phony Marine

| November 20, 2016

Hoelzel SEAL cap

Medic09 sends us a link to the resurgence of phony Chuck Hoelzel who was busted years ago at POW Network and now he’s resurfaced at SOCNET. He alternates between pretending to be SEAL and pretending to be a Beirut Marine. The first screenshot is from a USATODAY article about him;

Hoelzel claims

This is from a blog that bears his name;

Chuck Hoelzel claims


Hoelzel Militarycom1

The truth is that he was in the Navy for 15 months from 1982 – 1983, he got out of the Navy a month after the Beirut barracks bombing;

Chuck Hoelzel FOIA

Chuck Hoelzel FOIA Assignments

Chuck Hoelzel FOIA Training

No SEAL Training, No time in the Marine Corps. No awards. He doesn’t even sock puppet very well. He sends sock puppet emails from his own email address;

McMeans email

Hoelzel fatboy

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (152)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. TankBoy says:

    Some really cool contractor shiek glasses and gloves, but a little tubby tubby for the SOCOM world, bro.

  2. Chuck Hoelzel says:

    This motherfucker is just mad because I fucked his wife a couple years ago.What do expect from a Army Pogue’s wife. Marines in there Dress Blues have been dropping panties for 241 years. Add this fucker’s wife to the list.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      You did that and you’re still alive, Chuckie? Are you even vaguely aware that his wife is taller than you are, Short Round?

      Checking your fan mail, are you?

      Hey! Everybody! Lookie! Lookie here! Chuckie the Clown is ba-a-a-ack!!!

    • ex-OS2 says:

      I don’t think you have fucked anything in a very long time Chuck, nice try.

      How is your new job going sucking cock behind dumpsters at the Flying J?

    • Eden says:

      Chuckie, give it a rest. We’ve heard all of the poser lies before.

    • Green Thumb says:

      The only thing you have tagged there “Butt-Fuck” Chuck, was her gay friends two-hole. When she was away with her man and you were hooking up with the dude in the her can!

      Ass-to-mouth Chucky, your are the man! Gay sex and balls in hand!


    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      Hey, Chuck “FUCK NUT” Hoelzel… read the above. You were in the Navy, not the Marines, assclown. You got your ass booted out after 15 months – and booted out as an AMSAR from NAS Lemoore. You spent 37 days in a poundyouinthefatassjail for sexual assault – you drug you name through the cesspool of life because of your fucking lies and bullshit.

      Fuck you and the horse you rode in on “Fuck Nut” Chuckles…

      • Chuck Hoelzel says:

        Hey fucktards, no I was in the Marine Corps,you might want to direct the Navy comment to the dude who has my exact same name down to same middle name who lives out in CA. Get your facts straight dumbfuck.

    • Just An Old Dog says:

      Any woman that was able to find your micro-penis should be cloned and allowed to teach Second Lieutenants Land Navigation.
      She could find anything

    • A proud Infidel®™ says:

      Charles T. Hoelzel, YOU STUPID FATASS! YOU couldn’t even get laid in a Women’s Prison with an ounce of Coke and a $100 bill taped to your forehead.

  3. ex-OS2 says:


    Where did you go, fat ass?

    Ah, running away like a little girl.

    • Chuck Hoelzel says:

      No I am still here hardcharger, and will stay here until the dumb fuck running this bullshit page reports my time in the Marine Corps correctly and stops fabricated bullshit about me. Because over three quarters of this page is fabricated.Hey, it’s on the internet so it must be true.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Nope, it’s all true. You just can’t handle the truth, Short Round.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        HEY Blobbo McButthead, you’re just getting more Power of Google®™ to your name by resurrecting this thread so KUTOMBA WEWE and have a Google®™ day!

      • HMC Ret says:

        Chuck: If you are claiming that ribbon rack as being yours, I’m calling bullshit right now. NO. WAY.

        • Doc Savage says:

          According to that fruit salad he has on FB, he is claiming duty in Egypt as well…..I think not.

          What were you doing in Egypt, chuckie?

          Those of us that were actually there would love to know.

          • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

            The only salad that CHARLES T. “CHUCK” HOELZEL knows anything about is “tossing salad” from his stay in jail… just as Thor, Bubba, Julio and Mr. “Tiny”!

  4. Chuck Hoelzel says:

    All I can do is laugh, you stupid Fucks, you think calling me a fat ass bothers me. Yes I have become a disgusting fat body due to my thyroid issues,oh well.The dumb Fuck Army Pogue who runs this blog has been contacted by phone and by mail by several bubba’s who served with me in the Marines. This stupid Fuck called them all liars even when pictures were presented. So for all you Ass Clowns, especially for the Army Puke running this page, Eat Shit Fellas! Drive On

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Give it up, Chuckie. Life is too short to go around lying about service you did NOT have. You had 15 months in the Navy. You were NEVER in the Marine Corps. And that’s it, clowndog. You have less AD time than the shortest short-timer I ever knew.

      And since you’re short, I have a whole long list of short jokes I can throw at you, so dry up and blow away, Toots.

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      Still sucking cock behind the dumpsters at the local truck stop, Chuckles? Missing out on the “Man Love Thursdays” from your time in jail, Fucknut?

      You were never a Marine, and got your fat ass kicked out of the Navy… and still try to rock the STOLEN VALOR lie.

      As for your “thyroid issues”, Chuckles… put the shovel down and back away from the trough… it’s that simple.

    • Skidmark says:

      Hey Chuck…I have a challenge for you. If you say this info is wrong, you can easily clear up the SEAL claims, call Don Shipley. I know if I were being falsely accused of lying and someone could clear it up with a phone call, I’d do it in a minute. I have their home # if you’d like it. If you don’t call him, it proves that you are a fake and a liar.
      So, what you going to do??

    • HMC Ret says:

      Obesity caused by hypothyroidism is ‘usually’ easily controlled by taking synthroid, which is a synthetic medication to augment the thyroid gland’s inability to produce thyroid (T-4 AKA Thyroxine). It’s also very cheap. Prior to synthroid, treatment consisted of desiccated pig thyroid. Yes, a dried out thyroid gland from a pig. So, let’s review.
      Hypothyroidism: Supplement with synthroid.
      Hyperthyroidism: Blast the gland with 131I (radioactive iodine) and/or surgically remove part of the gland. The blasting with 131I is by far the easier way to go. It’s administered in pill form. Just take a pill and go home. Easy peasy.
      If you are genuinely having problems with your weight due to an imbalance of thyroid hormone (too little thyroxine), you might need a new primary care doctor. It’s ‘usually’ easily addressed. Last resort would be to see a specialist, an endocrinologist. When properly adjusted, your weight should come down. Thyroid levels are monitored by a simple blood test (T3, T4, Free T4, TSH).

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Weight can easily be controlled by shutting the piehole and pushing the plate away. Also, fewer returns to the buffet are in order, as is not eating an entire half-gallon of ice cream at one go.
        Since I’ve lost 10 inches off my middle by simply NOT indulging myself, this bloated behemoth can do the same thing.
        I doubt it’s his thyroid, myself. He probably can’t even locate his thyroid with a mirror and a pair of tweezers.

  5. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Have a heart, Chuck. Think of the poor bastards who will have to get a backhoe to haul your carcass away one day. When the Marines begin looking for a few men who are short, fat and stupid, you can be the poster boy.

  6. TheCloser says:

    Chuck, you wrote in your Blog, ‘In September 1992, Charles Hoezel entered the United States Marine Corps as a Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO),’

    Where did you attend boot camp and what platoon did you graduate with? Why does a Navy SEAL with 12 years of service join the Marine Corps? Did the Marine Corps give you an age waiver to attend boot camp?

    • Green Thumb says:

      More like in 1992 Charles Hoezel entered The False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics).

      A couple of felching losers if I ever some some.

  7. Andy11M says:

    Chuck, take a moment to read this post and then kindly un-ass this AO

    • Mick says:


      It sure was a good idea for him to circle back in here all on his own without prompting and resuscitate this near-dormant thread, wasn’t it?

      Very tactically astute for a supposed former SEAL/Marine.

      • Andy11M says:

        it’s usually some external trigger that makes them come back to a dead thread. Think he lost out on a job/contract because of his lies being exposed? Naw, that wouldn’t happen.

        • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

          Maybe it’s his stay in jail that is a HUGE red flag for future employers…

          STOLEN VALOR is the rancid cherry on top of the shit sundae.

  8. ex-OS2 says:

    Cocksuckers gotta suck da cock.

  9. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, and, Short Round, while I’m at it, the ‘dumb Fuck Army Pogue who runs this blog’ is a RETIRED 22-year Army senior NCO, which YOU, FATBOY, are not.

    You don’t even have a year and a half. I know dogtags that have more active duty time than you do.

    You’re mostly just fluff and bluster, Short Round, so quit showing up to get more attention.

  10. Animal says:

    Hey Chuckles. If you want INSTANT credibility in your claims get Vice Admiral Joseph Kernan (Ret.) vouch for you. He was also a graduate of BUD/S Class 117.

  11. Andy11M says:

    *pokes thread*
    Chuck? You done with that temper tantrum? So what made you come back Chucky? I want to know. You wake up in a bad mood? Someone you were trying to snow job with your “experience” find this posting and tell you to go pound sand?

  12. Ex-PH2 says:

    Just out of curiosity, do they still offer you the booster seat at McDonald’s, Chuckie?

  13. Ret_25X says:

    opens door…looks around…backs out slowly…closes door.

    “what’s going on in there, man?”

    “Dude…stay out here…they are roasting a pig in there!”…”a short, fat pig!”

  14. ChipNASA says:

    Jesus what a fucking idiot.
    Put down the crack pipe and step away from the keyboard.

    I would say it’s not possible to make yourself look any stupider than you already have here but them you’ve just proven me wrong.