Micheal Vincent Baker; Fake US Navy SEAL

| March 24, 2017

Micheal Vincent Baker (AKA Vincent Baker), a 22-year-old from San Antonio, Texas was reported to Military Phonies with the claims of being a US Navy SEAL that graduated from BUD/S Class 234.

It seems little Vincent Baker has/had a girlfriend that was really excited about his new tattoo.

When he was contacted by some real deal Navy SEALs he wouldn’t respond.  Of course his girlfriend jumped in and tried to defend him because, well, everyone knows veterans leave their defense up to their girlfriend.

Well, the people at militaryphony.com did not want to see a legit Navy SEAL left to having his girlfriend defend him, so they ordered his official military records through a FOIA request.

Micheal or Vincent Baker as he likes to go by, served 2 months and 9 days.  Of course there is no possibility that he could have ever been or even had an opportunity to become a Navy SEAL.  Looks like an entry level separation of some kind.  They checked the Navy SEAL database and found that he was only a half baked  6 year old when BUD/S Class 234 graduated. His girlfriend might think he is cute but from the looks of him…he ain’t Navy SEAL material and the Navy in general didn’t think he was much either.

We will all be eagerly awaiting  news of his re-enlistment.  I doubt the girlfriend should wait around for it though and he might want to seek some help getting that tattoo removed before he gives someone the wrong idea.   You can read the rest of their case on this clown at the link below.

Source: Micheal Vincent Baker – Fake US Navy SEAL

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (96)

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  1. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    So young, so stupid, so full of shit…so much wrong at such an early age…being a lying sack of shit is a tough way to go through life son….

    • PFM says:

      The best part about it is that now he has an (ex?)girlfriend that is gonna be pissed because he made her look stupid online 🙂

      • Hack Stone says:

        And paid for that tattoo. Looks like someone has some ‘splaining to do.

        • lily says:

          This guy has to be on some type of illegal drugs. No way someone can be that retarded without drug influence. Could you imagine having that tattoo and not being a SEAL? That would drive any normal person insane.

    • jonp says:

      Got him a piece of ass and at that age it’s what counts

  2. Ret_25X says:

    Gunner, battlesight, idiot in the open…switch to coax

    Identified, on coax


    On the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

    • Ret_25X says:

      Coax ineffective, switch HE



      on the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

      • Doc Savage says:

        HE ineffective, switch to bullshit penetrating ego deflating round.



        on the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!

      • Skyjumper says:

        “Fake SEAL in the open”
        “Direct front”
        “Fire cannister and adjust”
        “Cal 50”
        “On the way”
        “Cease Fire”

        It’s been awhile since I gave fire commands. 😉

        • Dinotanker says:

          LOL Ahhhh hmm how about:

          Beehive Time, Muzzle Burst
          Sparklepony in the open!




          On the way!

          EWWWWW target! Cease Fire…

          I think we juiced him boys…gotta love beehive!

          Wait he was wearing a belt with a buckle we shoulda used White Phosphorous! Gonna get a chewing for that…

        • Retired Grunt says:

          Now Army Bradley commander speak:

          Asshat in open
          2 o’clock
          300 meters
          (Reponse: Target Identified. Hopefully)
          Cease Fire
          Target destroyed!!!!

          It’s miller time..

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          Just get the firehose and wash the trash overboard.

        • Philip A. Brankin says:

          And I thought I was the only guy who called in a fire mission when throwing crap into the garbage can. I’m in the bush (?) calling in artillery strikes and you’re in Europe(?) with your M1. God, we’re getting old…

          Who else?

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Cocksucking booger-eating pisspants thumbsucking bedwetting twinkle-toed candyassed Sparkle Pony! WOW, he had a WHOLE 2 months and 9 days, a little more than Giduck!

  3. QM1 says:

    With the days added to being processed out, it sounds likes he didn’t even make it through RTC in Great Lakes. Wonder what royal screw up he accomplished there to get processed out?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Had a female boot pusher and hit on her? Couldn’t stand up straight? Fell asleep in formation?

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      He didn’t. Separation was at RTC.

      With P-days, I was at RTC 2 months and 3 days, IIRC.

      Doubt this clown even made past Service week.

  4. Ex-PH2 says:

    Sunken-chested, couldn’t make it through WAVES RTC(W) if his life depended on it, target for PN Fenstermacher, has his hands in his pockets when no one’s looking.

    Seriously, he couldn’t get through boot camp at Great Lakes, so how?… oh, never mind.

    I once knew a gekko who told me he was a T. Rex on his maternal grandmother’s side.

    We all have our daydreams, y’know.

    • Dave Hardin says:

      Give him a break, his chest will fill out after his balls drop. Picking on a pre-pubescent kid because he is a late bloomer is not nice.

      • ChipNASA says:

        As usual, fucking SAVAGE, but sadly true.

        I’ve had Q-Tips and Toothpicks that had more of a chance that they can claim BUDS and SEAL than this turd nugget.

        Micheal Vincent Baker; Fake US Navy SEAL once thought he had a pubic hair…… until it peed.

        /try the veal. I’ll be here all week.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        I’d be more impressed if that shirtless picture of him had his pants pulled up a little higher.

        According to my inimitable record-keeping skills, the Fall of 2015 was quite average with temps in the 50s and 60s and didn’t get particularly chilly until November. So you can’t use the weather as a reason for not finishing what you started, can you?

        He must have been a serious dork.

        • OldManchu says:

          Doesn’t he realize that SEALs have dark even tans over their whole upper body from hanging out at the beach.

          This douchbags has an army basic training tan. Duh – so obviously not even a good SEAL poser.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          I think he should be the guy who shows up at Zebo’s on ‘free beer’ night and hits on the bartender.

  5. MustangCryppie says:

    Ah, yes! Great Lakes. In this bozo’s case, it truly deserves the moniker Great Mistakes.

  6. Dapandico says:

    Frozen fish patty on a bun.

  7. Redacted1775 says:

    Eh…where’s the rest of him? On a side note, I’ve heard belt sanders are excellent for tattoo removal, especially for tattoos you don’t rate.

  8. Graybeard says:

    Micheal Vincent Baker? Or is that Michelle?

    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker is not a SEAL.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker hides behind his girlfriend’s skirts.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker is a boot-camp failure.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker is a liar.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker needs to get an “on the house” tattoo removal by the tattoo parlor he cheated.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker had better hope he never runs into a real Navy SEAL.

  9. Combat Historian says:

    BUD/S class 234 must have had a large enrollment, may be about 3000 trainees, because there must be about 3000 or so posers by now who claimed they graduated from BUD/S class 234, including this little baby harp seal who couldn’t even finish boot. Everybody wants to be on TV, I guess…

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Doesn’t it depend on which class section you were enrolled in? 234-A, 234-1(Q), 234-Y, etc.

  10. Hondo says:

    Fak’heem, Lyon Sak.

  11. Cowpill says:

    What an enema nozzle

    • ChipNASA says:

      The Current WALL O INSULTS already covers “Douche” but I’m going to a enema to it because it compliments it and also could apply to this “Douche & Enema Nozzle”

  12. CB Senior says:

    He did qualify SEAL and won many Medals, but when they went to pin them on him they fell strait to the ground.
    I have seen chickens with better chests.

    SEAL enlistment is still 6yrs correct?

    • Skyjumper says:

      Ya know ,CB Senior, a sunken chest is a pirates dream.

      If he keeps this crap up and lands in the greybar hotel, the butt pirates are gonna love this boy.

      “BUNG HO!!”

  13. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    From Navy SEAL to local plumber…makes sense since he’s full of shit. I bet he wooed Cassidy with the old “Hey baby…ever been with a real war hero?” pick-up line. He probably has a rap about how he must keep his ‘war record’ secret and operates in some sort of half-assed SEAL sleeper cell in San Antonio. “Haters got hate, babe…they’re trying to blow my cover”. You’ll run into his type on almost any job site…all losers.

  14. The Other Whitey says:

    Reminds me of a medical aid call I ran 8 or 9 years ago. Asshole was making a big deal about how he was a decorated combat veteran of the Korean War. Then he gave 1953 as his birth date. When I pointed out the discrepancy, he got all pissy and said “Fuck you, kid! You weren’t there!”

    My reply: “Yeah, you weren’t either.”

  15. Guard Bum says:

    What a cumstain. He will go through the rest of his life knowing he was a Navy boot camp washout which is bad enough but now this will follow him for life.

    I would imagine failing at being a military member, particularly when we are at war, would just burn into your soul as you get older. Everyday for the rest of your life looking into the mirror knowing you didnt have what it takes, covering your inadequacies with fake stories, ertsatz tattoos, and living in fear of the ridicule you would get when unmasked.

    Every 4th of July, Veterans Day, and Memorial day will become days to reflect on the shame.

    • HMC Ret says:

      What Guard Bum said. Living with self after washout from Navy boot could be a major strain on one’s psyche. Couldn’t make it through NAVY boot? Really? YGBSM. Hey, turd, it ain’t that difficult. What happened? You miss mommy’s basement or what?

      A bit of advice … eat a damn donut or a dozen, every day. I can’t imagine a Navy SEAL looking like that. I know, they come in all shapes and sizes, but I imagine few have a sunken chest or that they couldn’t make it through NAVY boot. Pussy

      The shame will be with you forever. If that’s not bad enough, Google will track you until the end of time as being a posing PoS.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      So, Chief, do you think they’d take me back since they kicked him out? I can probably walk faster than he can. Really, he looks like he can’t even lift his own laundry bag.

      • HMC Ret says:

        All you have to do is request recall, PH. Remember, you are our Amazon Warrior and we have ceremonially promoted you to PHCM. Just ask and you shall receive.

        I think you could walk faster or at least further than he could run. That concave chest doesn’t bode well for the lung capacity for a lengthy run. Could be wrong. Knew a guy on Guam with BF of about 4 who could whip out a 4 1/2 minute mile w/o even trying. Me? Best I ever did was 9:20 in the mile and a half. That was when I was in my prime and could run 20 miles. Today? Bwhaaaaa

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Thanks, Chief. I did walk over to the bank yesterday. I always time it. 12 minutes to walk over there, going into a heavy headwind, 10 minutes goofing around while I waited for the teller to clear, then 10 minutes walking back with the wind at my back. I could have gone faster if I’d bee on roller skates, but there’s that hill to climb at the end. Fine day, too. 80F and as windy as the tundra in Siberia.

  16. Green Thumb says:

    A strong queef would knock this clown over.


  17. JimV says:

    Girls can be so dumb at times.

    • Mick says:

      How long will it be before ‘The Girlfriend Sockpuppet’ shows up here to defend this pathetic little assclown?

  18. MrBill says:

    Looks like he’s started to clean up his Facebook page. His post about visiting the tattoo parlor had gotten bombed with comments, but now it’s gone.

  19. IDC SARC says:

    Obviously, a sooper sekret time traveling SEAL and his eksploits are waaay above our paygrades.

  20. spd0302 says:

    Navy Seal Danny Dietz’s mother commented over at the military phony’s wall of shame for this poser. The hair on the back of my neck stood reading her comment. Posers like this should have to meet face to face with gold star moms like momma-Dietz and explain themselves.

  21. David says:

    Have to think if the ink parlor gave him a free tat, they would be really pissed off if they find out he’s a poser. One can only hope this particular place becomes unhappy and knows a real biker or two…or maybe if he comes in for more ink…

  22. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker is not a SEAL.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker hides behind his girlfriend’s skirts.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker is a boot-camp failure.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker is a liar.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker needs to get an “on the house” tattoo removal by the tattoo parlor he cheated.
    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker had better hope he never runs into a real Navy SEAL.

    BUT, Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker, is know to tounge taints, work balls and use a Phildo while punching crusty hobo fartsacks!

    Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker = COCKSUKCING ASS HAMSTER, FIRST CLASS!

    • ChipNASA says:

      I’m letting you handle it today because this numbnutz doesn’t even rate the WALL O INSULTS. these pantywaist cock gobblers.

  23. Frankie Cee says:

    Micheal Vincent Baker (AKA Vincent Baker) is no more SEAL material than Kyle Barwan is Ranger material. They are both a pair of boot camp washouts, preferring to be Stolen Valorists. Both of them find the most gullible women who believe their lies, and support them financially. These types stand in the blood of better men than they and claim to have been some kind of military heroes. I hope this Baker turd gets his ass pounded every night in the local jail.

  24. 20thEB67 says:

    Gonna pass on the belt sander to remove this tatt. I have brand new razor-sharp cutters on the planer. Yeah, been itching to give it a go.

  25. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Needs more bunny kisses.

  26. Ex-PH2 says:

    In that one photo, the budweiser tatt looks like it’s sitting on his derriere, not at some higher elevation. He should get it removed before someone does that for him.

  27. Fjardeson says:

    Fire. Or. Knife.
    I have some tattoo artist friends (hey, music biz!) and NONE of them will do any SEAL / SOF etc imagery. They refer people wanting those to another artist, and this dude knows how to read a DD214. He says 99 out of 100 people wanting that kind of tat, run screaming at the questions.

    • Eden says:

      BZ to the lot of them! Nice to see that some in the business have standards when it comes to Stolen Valor.

  28. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    I noticed that in the pic taken of him at RTC, in the “bluberries” he seems to weigh a bit more than in the “crackhead” pic above. Must be into that “crack pipe weight loss” program…

  29. HMC Ret says:

    Well, he DOES have the high and tight and shades. Is there a dog somewhere and Harley? Also needs a doo rag. He did rocket all the way to E1 after only two months service. He’ll probably present to the VA and say he caught the PTSD. He’ll be 100 P&T within a year for the PTSD he caught when his company commander was rude to him or he had to roll out before the sun came up. Freaking loser. You comfortable in mommy’s basement, loser? Couldn’t make it through Navy boot camp? Really? Check yourself out on Google. You’re a star. Now, about that tat …

  30. David says:

    My conversation with him on FB after i messaged him with the link to this : Hey douchebag this is his father. You want to talk shit to my son why don’t you call me (210)552-XXXX Because apparently you can’t respond on messenger, and I thought they taught you squids better then that

    Ha ha. Sure it is.

    Vincent Baker
    Call and find out
    My dad just got off the phone with the CDO at Coronado

    you are a sad boy.

    • Tangomike147 says:

      Nice of him to leave a number.

    • HT3 '83-'87 says:

      So his ‘Dad’ is vouching for his SEAL service? I suppose top brass can ‘set you straight’, right?

      I wonder if the folks at Beyer Mechanical and Plumbing know about the his claims…and how phony they are?

    • ex-OS2 says:

      “My dad just got off the phone with the CDO at Coronado”


      • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

        We’re all fucked now… NOT!!!

        Micheal (Michelle) Vincent Baker = COCKSUCKING ASS HAMSTER, FIRST CLASS!

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      “respond on messenger”?????

      Does this marone know that Messenger was taken down by Microsoft something like 18 months ago, maybe more?

      What a drooling flea-infested little swamp rat he is.

      • Eden says:

        Probably referring to Facebook Messenger. They introduced it as a separate app for phones last year. Very invasive little app.

    • HT3 '83-'87 says:

      If he wants to end all the speculation of maybe he’s a SEAL or maybe he’s not…lets call Senior Chief Shipley, okay?

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Let’s call the CDO at Coronado while we’re at, too, shall we?

        Just remember, this is a GUY who couldn’t even last long enough to get through 1967 GIRLS BOOT CAMP.

        • ex-OS2 says:

          “Just remember, this is a GUY who couldn’t even last long enough to get through 1967 GIRLS BOOT CAMP.”

          But, rumor has it that he sucks a mean prison cock.

  31. Mark Lauer says:

    He must have been on that new “Speed SEAL Program”. You get to go through basic training, and SEAL training at the same time. It’s also the abbreviated version, where you get humped onto the Teams, and get your discharge all in that same period.

  32. HMC Ret says:

    Would love to see his sep code.

  33. 10thMountainMan says:

    Reminds me of a quote:

    “A six-pack on a skinny dude is like big tits on a fat chick.”

    -Elliot Hulse

  34. C2Show says:

    Dude had a girlfriend like in September and then engaged to this chick 4 months later? Bet that ex girlfriend knew about his lies. As someone else said in military phonies, he is always full of shit.

    Looks like we got ourselves a future Dennis Chevalier in the making.

    What a coward.

  35. Deckie says:

    Douchebag looks like Summer Wheatley’s boyfriend in Napoleon Dynamite in that first pic.

  36. The Old Maj says:

    “They checked the Navy SEAL database and found that he was only a half baked 6 year old when BUD/S Class 234 graduated.”

    That can’t be right. That class graduated over 15 years ago not last week. 😉

  37. Sonny's Mom says:

    That can’t be a photo of little Vince’s tattooed shoulder– he’s way too scrawny. Are they sure it’s not an image of somebody’s well-tanned rump?