John Coker Howard is not a Navy SEAL

| April 6, 2017

Someone sent us their work on this John Coker Howard fellow from Fort Mohave, Arizona. According to folks that know him, he claims to be a Navy SEAL and a Vietnam veteran. These are pictures of his truck;

The Navy disagrees with his memories of his military service;

He had less than a month of service several months after US combat troops left South Vietnam to it’s own devices. No SEAL training, no Vietnam service, hell, hardly any service at all. Even Dan Rather served longer than his guy.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (67)

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  1. Wilted Willy says:

    He is a Cocker sucker! Ass Hamster!

  2. fedupwithposers says:

    Let’s rename this guy to Jackass John “Bullshit” Howard. I love how the majority of these nut jobs claim all this service and have done nothing.

    Flaming fucking phony.

  3. Combat Historian says:

    “…Even Dan Rather served longer than his guy…”

    To be ranked below Gunga Dan in the military poser order is about as bad as it gets…

    • Claw says:

      Much like the Mendoza Line in baseball, the Gunga Dan Line has been established for stolen valor.

      At 25 days of total “service”, this first night of recruit training bed wetter falls far below that.

      Back to “A” ball for you, Dumbass.(as spoken in my best BMC Red Forman voice)

  4. Carlton G. Long says:

    I’ll give him credit for one thing…unlike the Liar of Lenoir, this turd’s dependabottomus doesn’t claim that he built his truck “from the ground up.”

    • sj says:

      I drove by Round’s casa earlier this week but no sightings. He may not even live there anymore. Gotta hand it to Round: he got caught and went to ground shortly there after never to be heard from again.

      • Combat Historian says:

        I hope those Hooter’s waitresses who posed with Round in his RANGER t-shirt are now thoroughly briefed and aware that Round is a disgusting phony posering POS who doesn’t even know how to wear a beret…

        • sj says:

          Ole Round. Those were the good ole days for TAH. Chevy was flying his 130 as a LtCol (in the CAP) until he got kicked out of the Texas State Guard as a PFC, I think, …another volunteer outfit. There were others that slip my aging mind right now.

          These new posers could learn a lot from Round and Heavy Chevy.

          • Just An Old Dog says:

            Heavy Chevy is still rocking the lie of being a retired CAP USAF (Aux) and a high falootin’ security Officer.
            He is between Ex wives now but still trolling dating sites.

            • Hack Stone says:

              What number is this ex-wife? He must have some strong mojo to convince all of these women (with low self-esteem/daddy issues) to marry and support him.

      • Carlton G. Long says:

        I had read rumors that he and Kaiya Louise had split up.

        • TankBoy says:

          Any solid updates on Round Ranger would be appreciated. Him and “Gunny” Wave Reynar are two of my favorites! That would be a cool new feature for this site, some “where are they now?” stories featuring personal interviews between the champion posers and people like Hack Stone over a few beers.

          • Hack Stone says:

            Hack is currently in Southeast Asia trying to rescue Elaine Ricci from the clutches of a white slavery ring.

            I don’t know who they are. I don’t know what they want. If they are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career selling software to the federal government. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like them. If they let Elaine go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for them, I will not pursue them. But if they don’t, I will look for them, I will find them, and I will remove the doors to their mail boxes.

        • Just An Old Dog says:

          She was no prize herself. He is a bit older than her and I think he hoodwinked her into thinking he was coming into a big VA pension.
          She probably ran off with another loser.

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    Gee, three whole weeks? That’s amazing! I am in awe… or something.

    • rgr769 says:

      Don’t belittle his amazing service, PH-2. It was actually 25 days; that is three and one-half weeks.

      Any sane person with that record would not want to admit he even ever enlisted in the Navy. But then of course, there is Gunga Dan with another week or so of impressive service before his boot camp failure.

    • NormanS says:

      I didn’t even last that long. In 1970, as I was about to be drafted, I attempted to enlist in the U.S. Navy. I tried to become a Navy Top-Gun underwater-demolitions counter-terrorism Team Six SEAL-Pilot. Alas, I was unable to walk on water, or even part it, so I was rejected.

  6. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Don’t these idiots know that by now everyone is aware of stolen valor and can find out if you’re full of shit or not?

    Most people I know don’t even care if you served or not…most have never served and don’t know anyone in the military…and what they do know of the military doesn’t impress them much…so it’s not like you ingratiate yourself by telling tall tales of bullshit…I find unless you’re in a city where there are a lot of ex-military the support for the troops is just talk without meaning, a ribbon on a bumper to make some clown feel good about doing nothing at all to support anyone other than themselves….it’s like the idiots on Facebook who are always sending “prayers” for someone to get better in the hospital, it’s a way of pretending to do something without actually having to do anything….

    If you’re a basic training non-hacker it’s better to shut the fuck up and move on. Nobody cares if you served or not, that’s the reality. They only measure you by what they know of you now….not what you claim you did 30 or 40 years ago.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Okay, just a minute, there, Big Guy.

      What is wrong with telling tall tales of bullshit? I do this all the time. Some of them aren’t done yet, but they are whoppers. It’s all fiction,long and short, and it’s a boatload of fun to do it, too. I’m plotting my next one to drop on you guys, so what’s wrong with tall tales of pure, unadulterated B.S.? People pay good money for that stuff.

      Maybe what we need is a special award for the nonhackers who washed out: the Dan Rather Special, perhaps?

      • Graybeard says:

        I don’t know about y’all, but I have this sneaking suspicion that Ex-PH2 has worked a backdoor deal with a feedlot for resource material with which to deceive us in future stories.


      • Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

        You’re not passing off your fictions as tales of your actual derring do darlin…therefore not at all the same thing…

        We enjoy a good fiction from time to time, but if someone is telling me what they purport to be a reality they should expect me to be a dick and ask a lot of questions…

    • Yef says:

      I think you are describing virtual signaling…

  7. ChipNASA says:

    He’s gonna have to work a little harder, No tattoos, no strutting around in public in a jacked up uniform, no AL or VFW or VA Fraud.


    Your whopping 3 weeks don’t rate.
    /you know you really suck at Stolen Valor when you don’t rate the WALL. O. INSULTS!!

  8. HMC Ret says:

    Well, he did rise all the way to E1 from, uh, E1, after only about a month. No, never mind. He’s a non hacker.

  9. SFC D says:

    Beautiful downtown Fort Mohave ain’t far from Laughlin, a lot fo the casinos and hotels do veteran’s specials. I’d bet dollars to dogturds this fuckstick is rocking his lie at the Colorado Belle buffet.

  10. Dapandico says:

    He was there for feast in celebration of the exploitation of the Native Americans by White European Religious Land Grabbing Zealots AKA Thanksgiving.

  11. another BMT wash out that made it thru BUDS, imagine that ??????????????


    • 11B-Mailclerk says:

      The only “buds” he knows get rolled up in a piece of shitpaper, lit, and smoked.

  12. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    What a shame. He shit all over perfectly worthless service, wasted a few weeks of a stellar enlistment, and for what? For what? A lousy decal.

    • Just An Old Dog says:

      “He shit all over perfectly worthless service”

      That actually made me snort,, you wons the internetz for the day.

  13. HMC Ret says:

    Well, he does have the much sought after and highly coveted NDSM. Hey, wait a second. Never mind. Total washout.

  14. MSGT_RET says:

    I knew he was a fake! No NDSM!

  15. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Yet another pus-nuts no-load pisspants sphincter-sniffing dildoheaded glittery gargoyle gonad-ogling Sparkle Pony of a fart apple with less time in service than John Giduck!

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      P.S., if I remember correctly, one had to be a big time loser of a bedwetter to get booted from Basic in that time frame.

    • ChipNASA says:

      I saw Fart apple and I was going to add that to the WALL O INSULTS but I think you already (or Ex-PH2) offered “Fuck Apple with Mold” so I thought it repetitive.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        How ’bout ” booger-eating fuckbucket”?

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        No, that was Toasty Coastie. I offered ‘man of the night in a large animal bordello’.

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          With all due respects Milady, I’m sure that TAH Lioness Toasty Coastie added the term “Fuck Apple” to the TAH Legend of Insults®™.

          • Ex-PH2 says:

            Yes. You see, the spacing in the reply thingy depends on where you clickit, and if you clickit one place, it follows the comment before, but if someone else does clickit on it after you, it may fall some place else and change the meaning of it all.

            So I meant Toasty Coastie contributed ‘Fuck Apple’ but that got all entangled in the clickit thicket.

    • Mick says:



      Good to see that you’re ‘back in battery’.

  16. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    He got kicked out in San Diego, and he could see the bridge going over to Coronado, so that’s the same as being a SEAL, right?

  17. Green Thumb says:

    John Coker Howard may not be a Navy SEAL but he is a real deal sack of shit.

  18. CB Senior says:

    I think he forgot the other “C” in his last name.
    That is some HIGH speed CV he’s got there. The only question remain is if he was the first or second guy in the Company to cry for his mommy.

  19. Ex-PH2 says:

    It’s too bad the draft had already ended, isn’t it?

  20. TankBoy says:

    No Harley? No leather vest> It’s like they don’t try anymore.

  21. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Another bedwetter/sleepwalker/adjustment disorder warrior.


    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Excuse me, but – ‘adjustment disorder’??? What?

      • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

        It was the “medical/PC term” used when I was an Admin Officer at HM “A” School for those being separated – for individuals that “could not conform to military service”.

        I don’t have the fancy sheepskin on the wall Ex-PH2… and yes, I couldn’t believe the shit that some of them would do to get out of the Navy.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        But, Senior Chief, the draft had ended. They didn’t even have to sign up any more. How deep does this hogwash go?

        • Hondo says:

          Some people can’t handle reality smacking them in the face, Ex-PH2 – particularly the reality of IET.

  22. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    “He had less than a month of service several months after US combat troops left South Vietnam to it’s own devices. No SEAL training, no Vietnam service, hell, hardly any service at all”

    But, I’m guessing he can “service” his ass off when it comes to hobos and truckers at the local Quickie Mart/Truck Stop…

  23. Mason says:

    Getting booted from the Navy on Pearl Harbor Day has to sting a little!

    No wonder he had to make up stories to make himself feel better, the Navy really hurt his feelings.