Evan Jensen; phony SEAL

| June 12, 2017

I guess this fellow, Evan Jensen, was busted by Don Shipley a few years ago, but somehow his records showed up in my inbox again. I have to guess that he’s out there again, thinking the brouhaha has settled down. He’s one of those paranormal people. He edits the Paranormal Herald World News and he has a radio show “Beyond Reality; Paranormal Talk Radio. He claims to “out” phony ghost hunters, but he’s friends with phony Air Force Major/Vietnam veteran David Rountree. Anyway, folks were challenging him about something and he threatened to bring some of his SEAL warrior training to bear on their ass;

The Navy remembers his brief time with them a little differently;

He had 27 months of service as a fireman, six months on the USS Midway, at sea and then for some reason, he was out on the street with an abbreviated career in the Navy ending his time as an E-1. No SEAL training, no awards of any kind. A hero with no medals.

There are rumors of prison time after he got out of the Navy, but I don’t deal with that stuff.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (50)

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  1. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Yet another pisspants pus-nuts no-load no-speed-all-drag candyass who couldn’t cut the mustard and got thrown out now claiming to have been a hairy badass. He looks like a meat-gazing bed wetter if anything!


    • Foxbat40 says:

      He looks pregnant in this photo. I know a lot of pregnant women that go on vacation a month before they are due their first child. I hope the delivery went well.

  2. Graybeard says:

    Evan Jensen the never-a-SEAL?
    Evan Jensen the abnormal?
    Evan Jensen who thought he could get away with lies?
    Evan Jensen who was, by all evidences, drummed out of the Navy as an E-1?
    Evan Jensen who may have a criminal record?
    That Evan Jensen?

    Evan Jensen, you are no more a SEAL than I am.

  3. CB Senior says:

    Looking and eating like the Aquatic animal does not convey a Trident to you.

  4. CB Senior says:

    Looks more like a Manatee than a SEAL.

  5. Atkron says:

    That bitch didn’t even finish his 90 days TAD to laundry or messdecks before he was shit canned.

    A wannabe Snipe that never even made it to A-Gang…but at least he came home a ‘hero’ (sammich).

  6. Skippy says:

    FU$&ing Hemroid did he even finish training

    Evan Jensen, is a Hemroid
    Evan Jensen, is a Gerbil
    Evan Jensen, is a Moron

    Evan Jensen, get a life

  7. Sparks says:

    Paranormal researcher. Now there’s a job that will take you far in life. It’s been widely known for years that many SEAL members become paranormal researchers and advisors after their highly decorated careers. //sarc//

    This guy wanted to be a SEAL but settled for just being a queef.

    • Hack Stone says:

      This clown should have his own show, The Ick Files. He can do some paranormal investigating of those stains in his skivvies. The truth is out there.

    • Bernie Hackett says:

      You just can’t make this stuff up!
      Being ex-Army, I was wondering how you could put in 27 months and end up an E-1. Just a rush to the bottom.

    • The Old Maj says:

      He must have served on the dreaded Top Secret SEAL Team 9

  8. Claw says:

    I’m thinking the reason for his abbreviated service was due to being UA/Deserter and an overall shitbag.

    Although the total time on the DD214 covers 27 months, he was only credited with just under 22 months of “good” service. The record of assignments don’t list any UA/Deserter time, but there’s a huge gap at the end with no entries until finally discharged.

    • Claw says:

      Also if you look at Block 29 (Time Lost) way down at the bottom of the DD214, the whole block has been redacted like there were multiple time period entries for being UA/Desertion.

      • Skippy says:

        He’s another magical thoughts moron…..
        Wash’ed out of the navy because he was a loser
        And he is still washing out

      • Silentium Est Aureum says:

        Where the fuck is he gonna go in Yokosuka?

        It’s not like he could live on the Honch.

        • W2 says:

          He saw some paranormal shit in the barrio on one of MIDWAY’s trips to Subic. That’s why he prolly got kicked out, a couple of green San Magoo’s and an paranormal encounter
          with a Bennie boy and bam! He’s on the street. Who you gonna call?

  9. Thunderstixx says:

    Another one…
    (palm to forehead)…
    I am so sick of these morons. They gotta know that they will be outed at some point, yet they are still so stupid that they think they can get away with it…

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      What’s worse with this gerbil-lusting scrotum-ogler is that he’s been caught before and is doing it yet again!

      • OWB says:

        Yep, like no one will remember he was already proven to be a liar. What, EVAN JENSEN, you seriously think it would just go away? Not even close, except in your delusional world.

      • Bernie Hackett says:

        Proud, good to see you! You have a way with words that I envy!

  10. AZtoVA says:

    Seems to me his FB page is open as all hell for comments. Anyone care to FFE?

  11. Roger in Republic says:

    You have got to be very careful around those dreaded FA/SEALS. They might just wipe you down with an oily red rag!


  12. Dinotanker says:

    OH OH Let me steal some valor!!

    Hmmm how about the time I got hacked off at my crew and damn near killed myself by breaking an endconnector and getting clobbered by a track pad?? Oh wait, that’s not valor that STUPID.

    Then there was the time at the Townsend, Montana gunnery range where I sat on a cactus…hmmm the valorous part of that was not yelling while the 1SG pulled out cactus quills/needles stick in your ass things with a pair of pliers.

    The time I got lost a Benning? Oh wait that happens to every LT. Im gonna claim that since Im an armor guy, I was headed north to Kentucky to escape being around all those infantry dudes…

    DAMN…no valor, a lot of lessons learned, and some fun times… Not too shabby for a reservist huh?

    But alas NO VALOR… Well this Jensen dude is from Oregon, so maybe that ‘splains it…

  13. Green Thumb says:

    Another tool.


  14. Mick says:

    There has got to be a motorcycle and a leather vest covered in poser bling involved in all of this phony SEAL nonsense somewhere.

    There just has to be.

  15. Deplorable B Woodman says:

    The closest that EJ ever came to a seal was at the zoo…..and the zookeeper wanted to lock him in with the other pinnepeds.

  16. Fjardeson says:

    Hmmm. Google sez this about UIC 31907:

    391 Transient Personnel Unit, Yokosuka, Japan
    (UIC 31907) for (number), days confinement at Commander, Fleet Activities,
    Yokosuka, Pretrial Confinement Facility(PCF) and further disposition.


    • Skippy says:

      It’s amazing how washouts keep washing out

    • Green Thumb says:

      Just another turd in a cell “punch bowl”.


      I can only imagine he will ooze out of the pipe at All-Points Logistics in Merritt Island, Florida.

  17. Patrick408 says:

    He was a “Crispy Critter” he should be proud of his service and leave it alone….Maybe he needs another call from Don?

  18. 19D2OR4 - Smitty says:

    WTF is a phony ghost hunter and how does one go about exposing them?

    • OWB says:

      Figured that a phony ghost hunter wanders around looking for phony ghosts, which begs the question why anyone would falsely claim to be one.

      The rest of your question is a bit more dicey, but wouldn’t they be exposed in the usual way – by ripping off their drawers?

  19. Marine 0331 says:

    I really like the nutsacks who claim to own a business but can’t put together a simple sentence. For cripe sakes dude, punctuation, Fucking punctuation. It’s your friend. Learn it, know it, live it. And then too….it makes your bullshit lies a tad more believable!!!

  20. Skidmark says:

    Can’t wait for him to tell everyone how it wasn’t him this whole time pretending to be a hero Navy SEAL, it was an evil spirit that attached to him after he performed an exorcism somewhere…You watch, something like that will be his excuse and he’ll actually begin to believe it.
    For someone that is supposed to be an Editor, his spelling, grammar and punctuation would be better than his 2nd grade skills we see here.

  21. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’ve run into people who claimed they were ghost hunters (or something) but never have I found one who hunted for phony ghost hunters.

    This dude has a vivid lack of imagination going for him, and I think the seals he refers to were in the now-defunct Ringling Bros. B&B circus or something. Or maybe it was elephant seals he’s thinking of.

  22. Frankie Cee says:

    Yesterday I left him some love, well, a lot of love, on several of his facebook posts, linking back to here. Today, I can’t open his facebook page. He either blocked me or shut down the page. I hope at least one of his “devoted fans” found their way over here to read all about him.

  23. MSGT_RET says:

    He wasn’t in that long, so I’m sure he just got his terminology mixed up. As part of the engineering crew he meant to say he was a “SNIPE” instead of “SEAL”. 🙂

  24. Valerie Conley says:

    Jonn — I did a search on this guy — everything I found was that he was a pedophile! there is some sort of web site “everythingaboutevanlee jensen”

  25. Wesley Fox says:

    His Facebook now adays will stay clean because he knows there are people watching. Now he only talks about being a seal when he threatens someone, especially a minor, will post screenshots when I get them.