Jeffrey Brian Muise; phony SEAL

| June 15, 2017

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this fellow, Jeffrey Brian Muise who claims to have served in the Navy as a SEAL with Team 2;

He wears a SEAL Trident on his hat and he has the money to buy T-shirts in order to prove his claims;

The Navy doesn’t remember his career the same way that Jeffrey remembers;

Muise served in the Navy for four honorable years as a machinist mate, he left with the rank of MM3 (E-4), a Sea Service Medal, a Good Conduct Medal, but no SEAL Training, no service with SEAL Team Two.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (55)

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  1. Graybeard says:

    Honorable service now covered in shame.

  2. NormanS says:

    Given that Jeffrey Brian Muise is a quack, could it be that he meant that he was a Navy Teal?

  3. Daisy Cutter says:

    Wait a second – he works at the post office?

    Didn’t we just have another fake SEAL that works at the post office?

    Yes, yes. “Butch” Belanger

    Do all Navy SEALs go into the US Postal Service after the military? There’s a huge sleeper cell of operatives?

    I deeply appreciate those individuals that serve in the US Postal Service. I’m sorry that these individuals brought discredit upon themselves and I hope that did not use their false service claims as leverage for their employment there.

    Butch is retired but it appears that Jeff works at Glouchester, MA. His supervisor should know if he made any false claims and if they played a part in employment or advancement.

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      Not all SEALs work at the Post Office after they retire. Just the MIB guys.

      And oh yeah, fuck that skimmer puke POS.

    • The Old Maj says:

      I know a guy who spent nearly his whole career in the Army in Ranger BN’s and then when he retired went to work at the Post Office. It’s not unheard of that someone would work special operations for two decades then work at the Post Office, just a little odd.

    • riflemusket says:

      Interesting Postal Service connection. Yep I see alot of them. We had a guy here at my postal facility who claimed Vietnam era Seal. Turned out it was a lie. Plus his stories never added up. He transferred up north somewhere and continued his tales of daring do! Well someone made him famous, as his name ended up appearing on the old POW network. Turns out he was a dental tech in the Navy for 2 years.

      • The Old Maj says:

        I actually served with the guy I am talking about. He did an ROTC assignment right before retirement. I thought he was kidding about the post office thing till he did it. That was in 2004 and he is still doing it last I heard. His motivation was to stay local in an area without many jobs and then double dip.

  4. Combat Historian says:

    This is getting tiresome. I think we should just move on to the most logical solution; the Navy should just include BUD/S as part of its boot camp requirements at Great Lakes. That way, EVERYBODY who completes naval basic training is BUD/S qualified. Problem solved…

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    Harbor seal, spots and all.

  6. sbalm says:

    This BUD/S for you.

    Speaking of which…

    PROCTOLOGIST: Nurse, go get me a light.

    Nurse leaves the room and comes back with a beer.

    PROCTOLOGIST: No, no. I wanted a Butt Light.

  7. OldManchu says:

    A perfectly cooked plain and tasty cheeseburger. Yet instead of enjoying the simplicity and honor in it all, Jeffrey Bryan Muise had to go smear a handful of shit all over it.

    Way to go dumbass!

  8. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Jeffy-boi couldn’t be happy with serving as an MM3… had to go BALLS DEEP with the SEAL claims.

    You’re GOOGLE famous now, JEFFREY BRIAN MUISE…

  9. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    Oh, hell yeah I’m gonna weigh on this jerk. He’s from my era where about all the decorations they were handing out were GC’s & SSR’s. We stood nose to nose with Rooskies and made them blink…be proud of that! But no…$25 at your local flea market doesn’t make you a SEAL. Its makes you a POS!!! Enjoy the Google fame Jeffery Brian Muise you fake, phony, wannabe, and never was a SEAL.

  10. ChipNASA says:

    Well the more I look at this smarmy “Masshole” with his claims and he’s such a hero and “Legend” in his own mind, I’m of a mind to consider this fucktard for the WoI. Maybe.
    It’s getting late in the week and I haven’t whipped it out yet.

    • Bill M says:

      I’ll second that.

    • Usafvet509 says:

      Motion formally extended

    • ChipNASA says:

      OK that was an informal request but seeing as how we have a Second and a Formal Extension also allowed, will be considered an “AYE” fort per TAH Robert’s Rules,

      STAND FAST….STEADY…..STEADY…..annnnnnnnnndd

      Wall of Insults®™
      FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
      DANGER CLOSE!!!!
      MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
      TAKE COVER!!!!!

      Jeffrey Brian Muise; phony SEAL, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, whoreson whale’s carcass, overzealous polyp burglar, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, moron, Prevaricating Sphincter, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, baby unit, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, steaming bucket of monkeyfuck, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) NOT a Navy as a SEAL with Team 2, DEFINITELY a MASSHOLE!!!, WAS a machinist mate, and that should have been good enough, Talke off the GIANT TRIDENT HAT ASS KING,
      , fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, cum-dumpster, bucked tooth, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of siberian sheep shit, mangina micropeen, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.


  11. 26Limabeans says:

    Gloucester. Moonbats galore.

  12. Green Thumb says:

    I bet he also left the service with a mouth of semen.

    What a tool.

  13. Dave Hardin says:

    Row Row Row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    You are not a Navy SEAL
    So you can kiss my ass

    Nothing says “Operator” more than some pussy paws tattoos

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      I have a paw tattoo on my lower back. I got drunk one night and my homies said it would prove my manhood.

      Now I’m rethinking it.

      • Daisy Cutter says:

        Sad part about it is when I bend over my shirt hikes up and people can see it.

        Now I’m seriously considering getting a Romper.

        It’s a slippery slope.

    • Skippy says:

      Like ^^^^*

      Now that a Nurery rhyme

  14. Skyjumper says:

    Here’s the only “Trident” this puu-say ever earned.

    Lying bastard.

  15. Skippy says:

    Oh Boy it Raining Seal again


    When are they going to learn

  16. Non Cedo Ferio says:

    I’m getting burnt out on all these posers. I held four MOS three primary , one duty wether in garrison or deployed. I always seemed to be in a support role for many units include SOF. In Iraq My point is that I actually enjoyed and was proud of what I did. I met SMA William O Wooldridge after a talk he gave at USASMA. He said in that talk that no matter what job we had we be proud of and do well for the good of the service. Never forgot that. These posers take a seemingly opposite view that the Only Job that matters is the high speed ones. Not only do they insult SOF personnel and veterans as a whole. But those of us who do what we are best suited for. Who may just like what we do in or off the battlefield . It’s really wearing on me. Sorry for the rant. I feel better now

  17. Skippy says:

    Jeffry Brain Muise, You serverd

    You did something that most don’t do

    Be proud of your service

  18. Skyjumper says:

    Jeffrey Muise, you scobblelotcher! Thy vile canker-blossom’d countenance curdles milk and sours beer!”

    Scobblelotcher…..word of the day. 😉

  19. Usafvet509 says:

    While not proud of my status as a crankstepper, I am content to say, I SERVED, plain and simple. I was young and stupid, and made a mess of my time in uniform. However, I served when few would. 0.45% of the population served in the opening years of GWOT

  20. HMC Ret says:

    You had an enviable career that required no ‘improvement’ but you crapped all over it. Now you will be Google famous for the wrong reason until the end of time. Why?