Joseph Girvan; phony Army Ranger

| July 19, 2017

Someone sent us a link to an article in AZ Central written by Joseph Girvan, an Army veteran. In the article he makes the claim several times that he was a Ranger while he was in the Army;

I served in the U.S. Army as a Ranger for 11 years, stationed in Fort Lewis and deployed in Afghanistan, Iraq and South Korea. During that time, I learned a lot about the importance of teamwork and the key principles of leadership, mission and integrity.

Ranger missions vary and may range from capturing enemy combatants or materials to rescuing prisoners of war and civilians. Because Rangers function as their own military entity, being a Ranger means you can be part of many different teams: reactionary force, security force, fire team, community relations and public relations.

Joseph Girvan is an IT project manager for Banner Health with 12 years of experience as an Army Special Forces Ranger team leader.

A bio from another article on the same subject;

Joseph Girvan served in the United States Army from 1998 to 2010, as a member of the US Army Rangers Special Forces, 2nd Battalion out of Fort Lewis, WA. Girvan participated in the U.S. Department of Commerce’s Hiring Our Heroes Program during the summer of 2016, and earned a position as IT Project Manager with Banner Health.

Someone who knew him in the Army became suspicious, so we went looking for his records. Yes, he was in the Army, yes, he was an NCO, yes, he deployed from Fort Lewis to Afghanistan, I see service in Korea, but I don’t see a deployment to Iraq. He’s also not a Ranger. He was an administrative clerk;

It looks like he was a good admin clerk. He had a good, important message in the article, but then he let his ego screw it all up by being something that he’s not. We hear that he claims Purple Hearts and multiple deployments, but there’s nothing about any of that in his records.

Get back on message, Joe.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (105)

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  1. Dave Hardin says:

    Once again, I don’t get it. I was written up for the Navy/Marine version of the same award for a very similar thing.

    Loved my desk and I cried when they took it away from me. I was grateful to be in the rear with the gear, no formations, no deployments, time with my family, no sand in my ass, no enemy combatants for thousands of miles in any direction.

    Drawer Gunners kick…back. Loved it. Those were good times. The only people I ever gave a shit about that thought I was a hero were my kids. You just don’t get a medal of any kind for the things that are most important in life.

    What a shit stain.

  2. IDC SARC says:

    Mk1 MOD O D-Bag

  3. Ex-PH2 says:

    Don’t nobody listen to Dave Hardin. I sent him a bucket of gravy and some biscuits and he still hasn’t said whether or not he liked it.

    This Girvan guy needs a good thump up-side the head.

    • Dave Hardin says:

      You will always be my gravy baby, I will always be your biscuit. I don’t sop up my gravy and tell about it.

      I just don’t ride any wave that comes along…its all in the timing.

      • Eden says:

        Haha, I see what you did there!

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        I guess I’ll just have to try harder. Perhaps a more eloquent ingredient, something to inflate the biscuits? Thicken the gravy?

      • Skyjumper says:

        I swear Dave, when you walk down the street, women must toss their vaginas at you, you silver-tongued rascal…..sploosh, sploosh, sploosh. 😉

        (shamelessly borrowed from one of Sr. Chief Shippley’s YouTube videos)

        • Dave Hardin says:

          Well, its seems Joseph Girvan here could walk out into a storm raining pussy and get hit in the head by a dick.

          Some guys are just that way.

          • Jay says:

            Just sprayed chili on my monitor after reading that….thanks ass!

            I bet when they throw their panties at you, they just stick, don’t they?

          • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

            Joseph Girvan could jump into an Olympic size swimming pool full of pussy and come up with a mouthful of cock and balls.

    • Wilted Willy says:

      Well, Ex, you have never sent me any gravy yet? I think my wife makes the best gravy in the world! You can’t beat a good southern girls gravy! Now that is finger licking good!
      I do love your menus Ex, you always make everything sound so GOOD! Take care my dear, I will be offline for a couple of weeks while we move from Avon Park to Sebring. It is only about 10 miles, but still have to move everything you ever owned to the new abode! See you in a couple of weeks!
      Take care Ex,

  4. Claw says:

    What??? Made Buck Sergeant without an NCOPD Ribbon?

    Pffft. Pac Clerks get all the breaks.

    • Jon The Mechanic says:

      New Army, you can get E-5 stripes without going to PLDC/WLC but yo make E-6 you have to go to school.

      • Skippy says:

        A few years ago you had 12 months to complete WLC to keep your 5
        Have no idea how it is now but if what you are saying is so that would
        Explain a lot of what is wrong with the army nowadays

        • Texas Nomad says:

          Op tempo baby. I deployed without WLC/PLDC and got stripes overseas during the 18 mo surge. They were doing a version at the big FOB, but no way they were going to get a line soldier out of the Patrol Base to do that.

          Then I got out and ETS. Year+ as NCO without any skooling to teach me how to lead like a warrior.

      • SSG E says:

        That used to be true – I did it – but not anymore. You can pass the E5 board with SSD1, but can’t pin until BLC; same for E6 – you can make the PPRL with just SSD2 (or ALC-CC), but can’t pin until ALC.

        I actually made SSG without ALC, but only because I made it a few weeks before that rule changed…

  5. D says:

    Damn. Someone from the AG community should know better than to pull this crap. No one ever seems to pretend to be AG. They always want to be something they weren’t or could’ve never been. I’ll ensure this guy is never able to join the AGCRA (hey, it’s the least I can do).

    • AZtoVA says:

      You’d think a good clerk would plan ahead and add RangerSniperSpaceShuttleDoorGunner quals to his records before he got out.

  6. 26Limabeans says:

    At least his ARCOM has the word “exceptionally” in the citation.
    So there’s that.

  7. ChipNASA says:

    Yeah it’s mid week and I haven’t deployed the WoI yet. I’m just not feeling it here.
    This guy is a dickhead and an asshole but I’m not certain he rates.
    What say you guys?

    • Graybeard says:

      Pass, for now.

      He’s just being stupid. Maybe he’ll get back on message and recant his claims.

      • ChipNASA says:

        Yeah, that’s what I was feeling. He only made two claims but he’s going to be definitely be punished on the GOOGLE HALL OF FAME.
        Enjoy it Joey. You fucked up, now OWN it.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      In light of his 12 years of AD, I’d just ask him why he thought he had to do this in the first place?

      • Skippy says:

        After my bo bo… my trip to Germany from the sand-box
        Was a trip, at Bethesda it was a place of honor then
        I Was sent to lost in the desert and some of the war story’s
        Were off the wall, Ft Lewis almost got me UCMJ’d
        For calling out turds for being full of shit

        This is only the tip of the iceberg

      • Claw says:

        Ex, I don’t see 12 years of AD there, only about five years and one month total.

        Maybe six years and a month at most if the time in the Illinois National Guard was counted as active duty in any way.

        That’s why there’s only one good cookie awarded for his AD time.

        And his time in A-Stan must have been less than six months cause there’s no Overseas Service Bar awarded.

        As a 71L Personnel Admin Clerk with access to his own records, I’m pretty sure all that would have been included if he was eligible./smile

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          Okay, thanks, Claw.

        • 26Limabeans says:

          My second Bar was awarded with only five months and change due to an early out from Viet of the Nam.
          Maybe the second consecutive one gets wiggle room? Or did?

          • Claw says:

            The second one is allowed a little wriggle room all because of that returning to CONUS on the same day we left Vietnam international date line thingy./smile

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I’d hold back on the Wall of Insults®™, IMHO he’s small change right now. BUT if he decides to come here and talk shit I’d say YES!

      • ChipNASA says:

        I’d I just read the comments at the (current) bottom of the thread with Jonn replying.

        Looks like shitbag cam here to sockpuppet. IT’S GAME ON BITCHES!!!!

        Wall Of Insults being prepped.

  8. Thunderstixx says:

    Another moron in the permanent annals of moronism from the halls of TAH…
    Why do they do these things ???
    Perfectly honorable service but he had to screw it up…

  9. Jay says:

    I pushed a desk for 20 years in the Corps and i’m pushing a desk now. No shame in that. To serve is exceptional enough. Of course, Marine desks are tougher than Army desks…..


  10. Doc Savage says:

    Sounds like Mr Joseph Girvan had a great big bowl of sugar frosted stupid flakes for breakfast.

  11. Skippy says:

    I’ve been saying this on here for a while this is only the tip of the iceberg
    My eight years of service has taught me that the number of Ranger/SF-
    -Delta/Space Door Gunners is way higher then anybody thinks
    We will be seeing a lot of these the next few years
    So hold on it’s going to get interesting

  12. Fjardeson says:

    Why, oh why? I’m a private sector admin, and without us nothing works. We don’t mind being backstage either. Just keep the coffee going, and the printers full of toner and paper… 🙂

  13. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Finally a ranger poser amongst a gulf of SEAL and SF fakers. that STUPID FARTHEAD didn’t need to embellish a damned thing but here he done got himself a bucket of Google®™ famefor it!

  14. FatCircles0311 says:

    Human Resources sergeant.

    I can’t even.

  15. Combat Historian says:

    No need to lie and embellish about your qualifications and deployments; own up and come clean, Girvan…

  16. rgr769 says:

    Pretty soon, there will be a larger number of fake Rangers than all the real Rangers that have ever served, starting from WWII to the present. Hell, even if we to add in the several hundred Rogers’ Rangers from the Rev War, we’ll still likely be outnumbered by the present day POSers.

  17. lily says:

    I wonder if he got PTSD? You know that bubble wrap can be pretty scary when stepped on.

  18. joseph says:

    This really doesn’t surprise me coming from the AZ Republic. Home of “Duke” Tully the publisher of the AZ Republic about 30 years ago who was a world class poser.

  19. Claw says:

    Must be nice getting two ARCOMs for two separate five month duration periods at two different posts.

    Oh, wait, he was a personnel admin clerk with access to awards certificates and his own file.

    Never mind.

  20. OldManchu says:

    All you had to do was quietly hold your head high…

  21. Mark Lauer says:

    “I wanna be a Phony Ranger,
    I can invent a life of danger…..”

  22. thebesig says:

    Joseph Girvan actually meant that he was an Army Stranger, as in “stranger to reality”, the “st” being silent. 🙄

  23. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Ranger? Maybe he’s one of those road rangers you see helping broken down cars on I-95

  24. Paul Harris says:

    I served with this guy in Afghanistan. He was on my Infantry squad. Think he switched over to 11B, cannot remember how he got out of S1 shop. But we needed NCO’s bad. He got pretty messed up and got handed a bad deal by a awful Command. Haven’t heard from him in years and will ask him what’s up. He helped me get my disability and others I know.

  25. ChipNASA says:

    And from Mr Sockpuppet’s post to come here and try some foolish shit and thing we’re a bunch of idiots that just fell off the turnip truck last night,
    This motherfucker has just earned a recommendation for the Wall of Insults®™

    “I move that little Joey Girvan; phony Army Ranger has earned the Wall of Insults®™.


    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I hereby second the motion.

      • ChipNASA says:

        We have a “Second”….all in Favor say “AYE”

        • Mick says:


          Bring it.

          • ChipNASA says:

            We have an “AYE” vote… By TAH Robert’s Rules, only one vote required, the “AYE”s have it.

            ALERT, ALERT, ALERT,

            Wall of Insults®™
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!

            Joseph Girvan; phony Army Ranger, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, moral equivalent of pond scum, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, prickwrinkler, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, Santorum Stained Molting Muscrat, whoreson whale’s carcass, overzealous polyp burglar, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, toadstool slime-inhaling dickdrizzling sludge, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, moron, Prevaricating Sphincter, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, poofter, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, steaming bucket of monkeyfuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter butt-slut, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) is NOT a Ranger, is a dumbass SOCKPUPPET, NEVER deployed to Iraq, LIED in the newspaper TWICE, was just an Administrative clerk, but those are needed MOS jobs that are important too, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, cum-dumpster, bucked tooth, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of siberian sheep shit, mangina micropeen, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Here endith the lesson.

            • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

              “More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog”

              I motioned for The Wall of Insults®™ on two other threads, one mentions a meat-gazing US Senator!

              • ChipNASA says:

                I didn’t see that. I’ll see if these fit and aren’t duplicates.
                Aim me to the other threads and I’ll take a peek.

                • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

                  The Blunenthal thread for one, how about “shit lizard” and “dead opossum wanker ” for additional ammo?

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          Aye, but I want ice cream as a reward.

  26. Your Creepy Uncle says:

    I just sent this…..

    I am considering signing up with your company for health insurance should I move to AZ for employment. But I have deep reservations about the safety and integrity of my private and personal medical information being accessible to one of your employees.

    I am referring specifically to one of your IT specialists, MR. Joseph Girvan.

    I read an article published in the AZ central website,

    In which Mr. Grivan states that he is an former Army Ranger. This is demonstrably not true.

    An article posted at “This Aint Hell”, a website dedicated to outing militray phonies, has an expose’ on him posted here:

    That brings into question for me , the safety and security of my medical information with your company.

    At one point within the comments section of the second link, a pewrson purportedly to be a friend of Mr. Girvan, posts and rebuttal to these allegations, but the site administrator, responded with proof that the originating IP address came from with your own company.

    So either your It specialist, who has access to private information is lying g in response to this allegation, or another employee is using your network to defend him on company time, either scenario give me a less than comfortable feeling as regards the safety of my medical information.

    If you could look into this matter, and assure me that my private informatrion will be secure, i would appreciate it.

    Thank you for your time…

    (Your Creepy Uncle)

  27. Green Thumb says:

    What a tool.

  28. HesNotaReal11B says:

    He obviously hasn’t taken the hint. He’s even got a acct: Heretoseebr He claims he’s been shot 12 times in combat, yet only has an ARCOM listed as his highest award. According to him, he’s been to Iraq and Afghanistan as a member of the 2nd Ranger Bn so much so that he has a 2nd Ranger Bn Combat scroll tattooed on his shoulder. Former Special Forces too according to his profile. Such a highly decorated combat vet that never left the “FOB” while he did his ONE short tour in Afghanistan as a 71L. Did his Basic Training at Fort Sill yet claims to be an 11B. This dude is all kinds of screwed up. Needs to do some research if he’s going to steal some valor and get away with it.

  29. HeisFAKE! says:

    This man is a pathological liar. He now claims he is the VP of IT at banner health, played football for Northwestern in Illinois, still states he was a Ranger, however, I can confirm he has never been shot as I have seen his body naked. He has no gun wounds, check his LinkedIn account, it states he was HR. One thing about this ass hat, he is full of it on every aspect of who he is. IDK if he has a mental disorder, which after spending some time with him, I do believe it true. Nothing about him is true, except that he is full of himself, drives a nice expensive car but lives in a crappy apartment in Avondale,AZ. Hardly what you would expect from the VP of IT for a large company like Banner Health. You want to call this man out to his face, go to Lake Pleasant on the weekends, he will be there on his boat telling his lies, being fake to score ladies. This boy is a ball of wack job with some flakes added for fun, straight up tool!!