Mike Jolly; phony Marine

| July 20, 2017

Some folks in Arizona asked about this David Michael Jolly, who goes by Mike Jolly in the martial arts realm. His organization is the Libre Fighting Systems Chapter Phoenix, AZ.

Added September 2, 2017; Libre Fighting System writes to tell me that Jolly has resigned and no longer works for them.

Jolly tells folks, and his students, that he did four years in the Marine Corps – it’s part of his schtick for teaching martial arts;

The Marine Corps only remembers about six months of that time;

Notice in the military education block, it doesn’t even mention basic training. In the awards block, there’s no National Defense Service Medal.

I suspect that there’s some UA/AWOL time involved.

Not a Marine.

He also walked away from his job in the Air Force after a few months, just a few days after the Twin Towers fell;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (108)

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  1. Jay says:

    Either that, or he kept getting rolled at MCRD and they finally just booted his ass. Last command is 2d RTBN….hmmm. Wonder if he kept pissing the bed and they kicked him out. Although, that tan belt he got during 2nd phase probably showed him all the BJJ he needed to know to get out and teach others.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      My thoughts as well, it sounds to me like he was a recycle that they said “To hell with him!” and threw out.

  2. Hack Stone says:

    Everyone wants to be a Marine, until it’s time to do Marine shit. Like picking up cigarette butts. Or painting rocks. Or raking the sand.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      Did Marines get to burn human waste in drums while in Nam or was it just an Army pleasure?

      • FatCircles0311 says:

        In Fallujah I was supervising NCO watching boots burning shit in drums once.

      • CWO5USMC says:

        As a boot Cpl in Desert Shield and Desert Storm, I had the pleasure of burning shit in cut off barrels….I got some great 110 camera pics of it. I didn’t mind it because it was a great way to keep warm if you didn’t mind the smell. Just don’t stir the shit with an engineer stake unless you have gloves….

    • Sbk99 says:

      Or turning rocks over one at a time “to make sure they’re done on both sides.”

    • The Stranger says:

      Or vacuuming the parking lot….
      Or mopping up the rain…

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      What about Police Call, or is that an Army thing, especially when a CSM sees a candy wrapper next to a busy street?

      • 26Limabeans says:

        I still field strip the “Swisher Sweets” during bug season. You can chew the wooden tip into pulp.

      • FatCircles0311 says:

        Marines do police call every morning at the barracks. The duty rounds up the boots in the morning and gets them on line in front of the barracks.

    • Club Manager says:

      How about KP? Or are all y’all too young to have pulled it?

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        BTDT, I scrubbed NO pots or pans before their time!!!

      • USMCMSgt(Ret) says:

        I’m not sure if it was considered “KP”, but I recall being assigned to either mess duty (working in the messhall) or walking a post with camp guard for a month stretch every year or so.

        Not sure how the Corps does it now.

        • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

          Great Lakes Navy boot camp in 1963 had us walking fire watches at night around the barracks and all the recruits had to learn the 11 general orders of the sentry, but there were 12 if some of you over 70 remember. Goes like this-to walk my beat, beat, your meat and take no shit from the service week. Was there in 63 when JFK was killed.

      • ChipNASA says:

        I pulled it in 1984.

      • Combat Historian says:

        The last KP I pulled was in 1981 when I was a PFC during an FTX. Don’t remember much about it, as it was grubby and filthy and lengthy and very very much forgettable…

      • Ncat says:

        BASIC at Leonard Wood in ’91 we pulled KP a couple of times, but I think it was more of a nod to tradition than anything else.

  3. Guard Bum says:

    Net active service was 6 mo all at MCRD San Diego so I suspect he got recycled in boot camp and then failed a second time.

    Entry level separation, failure to adapt and not a Marine.

    • Dave Hardin says:

      Yep, he must have injured his mangina or maybe he just can’t swim. Amazing at how many people cant seem to stay afloat in a pool.

      He will have some heart wrenching story about his struggle, his inner struggle with his humanity, loss of dignity and the unfair circumstances that lead to his demise.

      Mike Jolly is not and never has been a United States Marine.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        In that picture he looks like a pissed-off version of Al Bundy, But Al scored FOUR touchdowns in a single High School Football Game, has Mike Jolly ever scored even a single one, let alone ever played Football?

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Loss of dignity? Y’mean, something like the DI found out he stuffed his shorts to look more ‘manly’? (Whatever that is.)

      • desert says:

        6 mos? what kind of discharge? they conveniently left that off? BCD? UD? Had to be a shytbird!

  4. IDC SARC says:

    Hand picked and assigned to the blackest of ops, official records all but obliterated, he can’t talk about it and must be content with the knowledge that America is safer, because of his selfless devotion to duty.

    • Combat Historian says:

      Six months is a lifetime for a kewl seekrit squirrel gyrene. In six months as a seekrit squirrel, you can assassinate one dictator, blow up two AQ training camps, and single-handedly win three wars, all without filing any official paperwork or dealing with red-tape. Sounds like a win-win to me…

  5. Combat Historian says:

    But at least he was in longer than Gunga Dan…///

    • Claw says:

      Never have really been able to establish an exact time of service spent for Gunga Dan without having a service start date. After extensive interwebz searching, the best I could come up with is Doug Sterner’s statement that he was discharged with a little less than four months service on 11 May 54.

      So, I’ll take the bull by the horns and give the little less an objective time of three weeks. Adding the three full months at 30 days per month and the three weeks at 21 days gives us 111 days.

      Therefore and henceforth, let’s call the Gunga Dan line 111 days. Sounds like a nice round number to easily remember.

      “So let it be written.”
      “So let it be done.”

      • CB Senior says:

        Sounds like a good and reasonable scientific deduction. I will go with it.

        How sad is it that the burrito at 7-11 has more time in Service than those Two?

      • RGR 4-78 says:

        111, it looks like three dicks in a row.

        Gunga dan, Gymble, and Jolly.

  6. Claw says:

    Real legitimate organization there. The only way they will accept payment for sessions is by cash, cashiers check or money order.

    No way of telling whether he falls above or below the Gunga Dan line with no EGA/NDSM awarded after 186 days “service.”

    • 26Limabeans says:

      “payment for sessions is by cash, cashiers check or money order”

      I’m pretty sure this guy will make exceptions in certain cases.

  7. Just An Old Dog says:

    Going with what others said. Never finished Boot Camp. 6 months is a long time, but not unheard of. More than likely he started training, had a medical issue come up and spent some time in Medical rehab platoon. Chances are he did a stint there, went back to training and injured again. Depending on the condition he might have even gotten a med board.
    Bottom line he never earned the title.
    I used to run the separations platoon and the vast majority of those we discharged were good kids. They just had circumstances that prevented them from being Marines.
    No reason to lie about what he did. Guess he has ego problems. I wouldn’t trust his MA certs either.

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      Well, the reason that I think there’s a UA/AWOL incident is because there’s no NDSM. If his reason for not completing boot camp was medical, they probably would have given him the NDSM out of sympathy.

      • Just An Old Dog says:

        I cant be 100% certain, but I don’t think the NDSM was entered in Marines records until they were about to graduate. I think it was simply a matter of a clerk with a stamp with “NDSM” stamping the awards page so they didn’t have to pull them out and type it.
        The DD214s were issued by 3 civilians who dealt with separations only. In Seps we collected all their military gear issued. I Cant recall ever taking back a NDSM, or for that matter many rifle qualification badges. Those were issued during the last week or so of training.

    • crucible says:

      I twisted my knee pretty badly in first phase (PI ’87) and was put into MRP while I hobbled around and got physical therapy, etc. (They put all the crazies there too….did I mention when I was on firewatch one late night I found a recruit hanging himself on the upper half of his bunk with a web belt? And more.)

      Anyway, I healed, went back to training in another series and earned the Title. But, it was to a large extent the butt kicking I got there from the DI’s that kept me focused and going. So, all that said, thanks Drill Instructor!

  8. 26Limabeans says:

    That “Reaper Method” looks really cool.
    Pound and stab… pound and stab…

  9. Ex-PH2 says:

    Not even a gedunk medal? Hah! (snorrtt!)

    • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

      I used to hang out at the NOB Norfolk,pier 4 gedunk stand, eat rebel burgers and watch a screen on top of the juke box with a video of Little Eva singing Do the Locomotion. Those rebel burgers and RC cola were great. That was the answer burger to the Micky D’S burger. Gedunk stand on board had ice cream that always tasted crunchy and not smooth.

  10. Mick says:

    Oh. Hell. No.

    Not a Marine.

    And as Just An Old Dog says above, someone may also want to run a check on his MA certs.

  11. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Maybe a search on bullshido.net might be in order.

  12. Graybeard says:

    “For he’s a Jolly poor poser,
    For he’s a Jolly poor poser,
    He’s not a Marine, he’s a poser,
    And all he can do now is cry.”

  13. Dave Hardin says:

    There always has to be Krav Maga training. The Corps probably realized he had exceptional fighting skills so he was sent to Israel for advanced close combat training.

    Massad realized what a perfect killing machine he was and deployed him to the Dan Carmel in Haifa. Getting in and out of that place is no easy task. (Room service is outstanding)

    Patrolling Dado Beach is not for the weak. He was probably forced to live on Falafels and covered in SPF 50 during his training.

    Or maybe not, maybe he is just another embellishing sack of shit that can not seem to face his failures in life so he steals valor from those who actually have some.

  14. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    But can he fight with a shovel? That’s what I want to know.

  15. Sgt Fon says:

    you really have to start posting page captures because it happened again. i was on mikes page and about to say hi and POOF! his page disappears. i go to the dojo page and POOF its gone too! i guess i scared him….

    • Graybeard says:

      LOL.

      See, Mike the Jolly Poor Poser is a Sekret Skwirrel! He can go poof and disappear before your very eyes!

      • Jon The Mechanic says:

        Mike’s page is there, just locked down as so that you can not comment on it.

        The business page on the other hand is gone.

    • Claw says:

      Yep, you’re right. Both of them are gone.

      I’m glad I looked at them early on. Some of Jolly’s 98 fake Facebook friends he had were pretty interesting./smile

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Yeah you’re right, FACEBOOK PAGE GO *POOF!*!

      • Sgt Fon says:

        i can honestly say ” I was there, Knee deep in Burrito wrappers what all of the sudden… POOF!”

  16. Dave Hardin says:

    His super killer organization has lethal women in it too. I seems they are taught to protect themselves from men who just stand around and let the women knife them.

    Handy skill, must be a horror knowing there are people that can kill you in seconds. The horror…the horror.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Hey Dave, check out my Al Bundy post! If he never played High School Football, would that make him an Al Bundy wannabe as well?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      What in the blue-eyed world was that?

      The video of feral kittens getting a bath is more interesting.

    • IDC SARC says:

      Yeah, and knife wielding assailants do historically engage other similarly armed and ready opponents…cuz, it’s a fair and just world out there.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      The bag slit from behind was cool.

  17. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    Looking at his current pic and knowing he got the boot barely a decade ago leads me to believe he didn’t go in right out of high school, either.

  18. OldManchu says:

    Libre Fighting Systems…?

    More like Nacho Libre!

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Nacho Libre, not Nachos Grande. It took me a few days to get over my last engagement with Nachos Grande! Not to be confused with Macho grande which I too will never get over as well as my time in the jungles of Paprika!

  19. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Here’s what I just found from our friend Mr. Google®™, anyone ever heard of “Soul Fighter’s Academy”?

    http://soulfightersacademy.com/network/index.php?showcase/mike-jolly.28/

    • 1610desig says:

      Looks the perfect place to spend some money, learn some shit, adopt an attitude and have your ass thoroughly handed to you in a bar fight you used to have the common sense to walk away from…and no refunds

  20. Just An Old Dog says:

    In addition, although there are some genuine bad asses in the Corps, in my time the average Marine learns just enough hand to hand in recruit training to just get himself in trouble.
    The guys that were true bad asses spent hours training during off duty, just like a video store clerk, a waiter, or a mechanic in the civilian world.

  21. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’m never interested in destroying anyone’s livelihood. I prefer to see that they stop the nonsense and just be who they really are.

    If they refuse, I’m sending Spiderman after them… or Baba Loouie… or Mike Hammer. And I mean it.

  22. Green Thumb says:

    Not A Marine.

    Not a real man, either.

    I imagine we will need some industrial strength cleaner to remove a turd of this size.

    I wonder if he studied with “Ranger” Burrell?

  23. FatCircles0311 says:

    Haha and he couldn’t even hack 3 months of Hollywood Marine boot.

    What a fighter!

  24. ChipNASA says:

    Mike Jolly FB page is up but very much sanitized with just stupid photos of movie characters.

  25. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I’m sure that Mike Jolly is at least a fifth degree douchebag and I motion for the Wall of Insults®™ to be dropped on him.

    • Chief says:

      second!

      I especially hate the posers in the martial arts world — they give us all a bad name.

      • ChipNASA says:

        Well you guys asked for it.

        “We already have a request for the Wall of Insults®™. ”

        (I agree, we have a double douchebag here inflating his NON-Marine washout/dropout/at the very least, Entry level separation, failure to adapt.)

        We also already have a “Second”….all in Favor say “AYE”

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          AYE!!!

          • ChipNASA says:

            We have an “AYE” vote… By TAH Robert’s Rules, only one vote required, the “AYE”s have it.

            BING BING BING BING BING BING

            BAH-DOOOOOM

            Wall of Insults®™
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!

            Mike Jolly; phony Marine, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, moral equivalent of pond scum, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, prickwrinkler, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, Santorum Stained Molting Muscrat, whoreson whale’s carcass, overzealous polyp burglar, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, toadstool slime-inhaling dickdrizzling sludge, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, moron, Prevaricating Sphincter, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, poofter, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, steaming bucket of monkeyfuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter butt-slut, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) is NOT a Marine, was most likely a Basic Training failure/washout/dropout/at the very least, Entry level separation, failure to adapt, most like NOT a Martial Arts Ninja Master Guru either, as he used his FAKE Marine service to inflate his Karate man skills, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, cum-dumpster, bucked tooth, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of siberian sheep shit, mangina micropeen, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Here endith the lesson.

        • Chief says:

          Send it; fire for effect!

  26. Jonn Lilyea says:

    They killed his SoulFighters profile, too. Good thing that I saved it for posterity.

  27. jdm says:

    Hell he was trying to be a Hollywood USMC and Not Parris Island RTC.

  28. RCAF_CHAIRBORNE says:

    He should get together with Frank’Dix’ Dux and become the ultimate phony Bullshito poser duo.

  29. Carlton G. Long says:

    He probably lies about his lifts as well.

  30. Mike Jolly says:

    You are all right, I am not a Marine, nor do I claim to be one to my potential students in Libre or my personal daily life anymore. When I was in boot I had some past medical issues come up that sent me home before I could graduate and I have been living with those demons for years with mixed emotions. I have recently gotten counseling for those issues and have come to grips with my past and have moved forward. I apologize to all those who serve and have served, and I appreciate you letting me know about the websites that still have that info on there, I have gotten ahold of the webmaster of those pages and have asked them to take it down.

    • ChipNASA says:

      Well, isn’t that………Jolly. ;-D

      At least you seem to have the proper attitude here and as other say, follow up and ensure that corrections have been made.

      “Go forth and sin no more”

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      And yet your own profile claims the title of Marine.

      The AlGoreNet knows all, sees all.

      Own it.

    • Graybeard says:

      Just be aware, Mike Jolly, that if you decide to make false claims of service in the future, you will appear here on TAH as a repeat offender, and you will long for the sweet dulcet tones of a DI in your ears.

      If you truly refrain from false claims in the future you’ll be ok.

    • Claw says:

      Well, here’s a suggestion. If your medical issues have been fixed (enough that you can be some type of a MMA/BJJ/or whatever else it’s called/named instructor) and I’m guessing you’re not yet 40, (and I don’t think you are) go down and see a Recruiter and see if they’ll take you.

      Yeah, I’m told what with the country being at war (again) for the past 15 years, the maximum non prior service enlistment age is now 40. (at least for the Army anyway)

      Step up to the plate and take a swing and maybe there’s a chance of redeeming yourself.

      It’s worth a shot.

      • Claw says:

        Even better. I just read a piece on the interwebz that says a year ago the age limit was raised to 42.

        So don’t be picky if the first service turns you away. Go shopping. Hell, even Audie Murphy was turned down by a couple of services before he found a home in the Army.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          42, huh? So that should the the Old Farts Age Limit was also raised to 72. Fine. I can use the extra cash. Hey! GEN Mattis! Send me a recall, willya? I need to get the front steps fixed!

      • Claw says:

        Disregard my suggestion of attempting to enlist.

        After further consideration and examining the after excessive PED usage picture, I’m sure the urine sample from the induction physical would burst into flames while being hand carried to the test lab.

    • Just An Old Dog says:

      Mr Jolly,
      Redemption is going to take action, not words. An apology is nothing more than words. Someone can use words to shape both a lie and an apology.
      Your words ring hollow unless you follow up.
      You signed the line and tried to be a Marine. For whatever reason you didn’t make it. Like I said above I was in charge of the recruit separations platoon for several months and the vast majority had circumstances beyond their control that led to them being discharged,
      I have yet to see someone ever put in their bio ” I enlisted in the Military, but due to medical reasons I was separated before I completed recruit training”.
      See how easy that is?
      You admit to having deceived people for years. In my opinion, you probably never would have rectified this claim if you hadn’t been called out on it.
      This has not only tarnished your reputation, but the reputation of your Martial Art and any establishment you worked with. People tend to be around others like themselves. Posers and embellishers congregate. You find one you find more.
      Hope you really get your head out of your ass.

  31. RCAF_CHAIRBORNE says:

    When I did my Hoser Basic Training back in 2001, we had this Russian born guy who turned 50 before graduation.
    Granted, he spent 10y in the Soviet Army when he was younger…. But he could smoke like a chimney and still run circles around most guys half his age and do more push ups than most of the staff!

  32. Atkron says:

    I swear I thought he was some dude trying to claim the mid-1980’s.

    I about shit myself when I saw 2006/2007 on that DD214.

    What’d he do, try the max age?

  33. Marine0331 says:

    If Mike “The Fake Marine “Jolly is the first guy shown, who is the second guy with the beard? Those two are not the same fake Marine.