John Joseph Schoenherr; phony Ranger

| July 24, 2017

Someone got suspicious of this John Joseph Schoenherr fellow who goes by the name John Ironhorse on Facebook. He claims to be a mighty Ranger warrior, a Sergeant First Class as well as a Pathfinder, and Free fall parachutist;

Well, with all of that experience, you’d expect pictures of his military days, but he only displays one. In that picture he’s wearing the rank of Private First Class (E-3);

Maybe that’s the only picture because that’s the extent of his career;

He had 46 days of service and he was discharged for medical reasons from Fort McClellan, Alabama while he was training to be an MP. The separation code on his discharge is JFT which means that he was unqualified for active duty – nothing to be ashamed of, until he started pinning shit all over his costumes.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (85)

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  1. O-4E says:

    Chief Billshit

  2. Combat Historian says:

    Hell of a lot of bling for 46 days in basic; Gunga Dan would be proud…///

    • RGR 4-78 says:

      Did he even reach the guidic line, isn’t that somewhere in the 50s?

      • Claw says:

        Nope, the Duck line is 58 days.

        • Claw says:

          Added notes:

          Bunni-Boi Dalton Coldiron – 46 days service.

          But, (I think) the champion of shortest service on record is Robert Danny (Maggot) Hay, of Helena, MT, with a grand total of 36 days service before being kicked to the curb.

  3. USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

    If Elizabeth Warren had a son…

    • Cpl/Major Mike says:


    • akpual says:

      Pure genius.

    • IDC SARC says:


    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      Send his ass a “23 & Me” kit.

      There’s a guy running for Senate in MA (fringe GOP candidate) who is doing that to her. Freaking hilarious.

      And maybe dating myself, but wasn’t there another phon playing the Native American card here several years back?

      • USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

        No, you’re not dating yourself. There are quite a few of these.

        You might be thinking of Paul Dean Fultz (aka “Terrell Anquoe”)..

        or the other shitbag, Timothy Morgan (aka “Timothy Northstar”)

        Then there’s the resident shitbag who’s mentioned here pretty often, Phillip Monkress.

        Greg “Lakota” Witter, maybe?

        Christopher Tirao is another one.

        The list goes on, unfortunately.

    • 1610desig says:

      That second photo says that Steven Segal and Tom Hanks had a love child

  4. Frankie Cee says:

    He has either blocked me or closed the page. I left him some love in comments and a message:
    “John Joseph Schoenherr, you claim Army Ranger. What school class did you attend? Was that before or after your 46 day army career? When were you in 2nd Batt? What company, on what post? When did you attend Pathfinder School? Airborne School? Military Free Fall School? You are being called out.

    The bitch is showing his phoniness by hiding. He is, most likely, an equally phony injun. So many want to be a Ranger but are too chickenshit to do Ranger stuff.

    • 11B-Mailclerk says:

      Are you suggesting “Mocktaw”?

    • Instinct says:

      Your post is still there. I guess Joe “Lies lie a rug” doesn’t know how to delete unwanted posts.

      • MSG Eric says:

        Amazing how dumb they are when they are trying to pull off such significantly challenging attempts to steal valor.

    • Green Thumb says:

      Dude probably served enthusiastically for 46 days as a manhole inspector.

      Probably wears all of that paint as camouflage so that he can sneak up on dudes.

  5. Twist says:

    He claims to be a SFC yet only has a picture as a PFC? I think I have a single picture of myself as a PFC yet I still have plenty of them as a SSG or SFC.

    • Jay says:

      I have ONE of me as a PFC……from my boot graduation. Like you, I have plenty of me as a SSgt and GySgt but precious few of my early career.

  6. Tallywhagger says:

    Elizabeth Warren may be looking for a few brave men.

  7. Claw says:

    There, but for the Grace of God, goes what the DD214 for my baby brother might have looked like in March 1971.

    Only the narrative for his Block 28 would have read:

    “Discharge of personnel who exceeded procurement medical standards.”

    • Claw says:

      Hmmm, no takers. I figured someone out there would want to know why the service would discharge somebody after only about six weeks for “exceeding the standards.”

      But then again, the comment was a little off topic and would detract from hammering the subject of this post as he so richly deserves. Mea Culpa.

      So, I’ll just leave this here. My baby brother was discharged through no fault of his own.

      Reason: Turned out to be too tall. But the Army missed out, because as proven throughout his lifetime, (he passed six years ago) he was one Hell of a truck driver.

      • Hack Stone says:

        Being too tall could be a real problem while pulling targets in the pits.

        A few years ago while working as a slimey contractor aboard Quantico, one of the young Marines assigned to that command was vertically gifted, and his Brain Housing Group kept connecting with the ceiling sprinklers. No matter how many times I saw it, it still made me laugh.

        • Claw says:

          Hah. Years later my brother (with his dry sense of humor) had a good story about it that involved a door jamb, a magic marker and the Senior Drill Instructor standing on a chair looking for a mark.

          As it was they had marked his height onto the paperwork as being 6’8″ while in actuality he was 6’10″/11″ plus.

          But the Clothing Issue Point at Fort Lewis was able to find one pair of combat boots in his size, so he didn’t have to run around in the snow barefooted until he was discharged.

  8. Vexatious Defendant says:

    Give him a Parisian address and the name Tonto, and we will have just another Johnny Depp impersonator.

  9. Sapper3307 says:

    And Chief Bull$hit’s Facebook is down and out fast.

  10. IDC SARC says:

    Should change his name to paper tiger.

  11. FuzeVT says:

    Yes, folks. Another poser who sullies the National Defense Medal and all of those of us who actually rate it!

  12. An Old Arty Sgt says:

    Are they cousins?? Seems they wear their war paint the same.

  13. MSgt (ret), USAF says:

    He looks like Adam Ant in the first pic. What a sack of shit.

  14. FuzeVT says:

    Admiral Boorda killed himself ostensibly for the wearing of two V devices he said he thought he rated. This is a guy who rose through the enlisted ranks to become CNO, so no padding of his resume was necessary.

    I do not advocate that all of these valor-thief dick heads should kill themselves, but I wish that people had something in them that would shame them into not doing this shit in the first place.

    When I tell people that I’ve done 22 years in the USMC I feel compelled to caveat that with the fact that I did 4 years in the reserves. I feel as though if I leave it at “22 years” it would seem to most that I imply 22 years active duty. I just can’t imagine going around making shit up. It would seem that there are plenty of others that lack this particular gene.

    I’ve done some cool shit in my day, but it was all pretty far from the moto shit on MARSOC commercials. And you know what, I’m ok with that.

    • Tom Huxton says:

      I just tell them 35 months and 10 days before my 20th birthday and let their imagination fill in the blanks.

  15. Guard Bum says:

    Notice these fake injuns all have cool names like “Ironhorse”? Kind of goes along with their stolen military valor.

    No one is ever “Myron Shedding Dog” or “Leroy Corn Mush” …former Army cook or something.

    • 1610desig says:

      “Two dogs fucking” as the old joke went

    • Thirteen Bears says:

      Me call him Walking Turkey it mean bird too full of shit to fly

    • Ten Bears says:

      Call him Dumbass Monkey Butt. Ask for DNA sample, from mouth, not from Richard.

    • USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

      Names like “Ironhorse” in the Native American poser community are similar to claiming “Airborne” “Special Forces” “Scout Sniper” and “SEAL”.

  16. Perry Gaskill says:

    Schoenherr’s iron horse might have missed a couple of stations on its the way to the home wigwam. The photos make you wonder if he might still want to be 10 years old, but can’t figure out whether to play Army, cowboys and indians, or just wear heavy eye makeup and dance around like Britney Spears.

  17. Green Thumb says:

    Pathfinder, huh?

    The only path this turd could find is to the nearest available two-hole.

    More like “Two-hole Ranger”.

    In his defense, though, he is more of a Native American that The False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics).


  18. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Maybe he can stump for Liz Warren in 2020….and yes the inference on both Liz and this guy are intended.

  19. Frankie Cee says:

    Is anyone making odds? What will come first, threat of a lawyer, wife in defense, sockpuppet, or the dope himself telling all of us that he will cometh? I wouldn’t take a guess.

    • USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

      I hope he leaves Jonn’s in-box and telephone alone.

      For the rest: I’d like him to chime in here and watch him get smoked checked.

  20. Combat Historian says:

    Chief Walking Turkey has the Vietnam Service Medal ribbon in his collection. With a 1962 DoB, he would have been 11 when the U.S. involvement in Vietnam ended. Posers just don’t do their research…

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Research? Glad I put down the iced tea before I read your comment, CH.

      You actually expect these fakers to do ANY research? (snorrtt!)

    • Claw says:

      His Bling-Bling goes even further back than the VSM.

      That bottom ribbon (blue with a white stripe) is the Korean Service Medal ribbon.

      And it has some sort of attachments entirely on the right side. Arrowheads?, maybe for the Inchon Landing? Inchon/Injun? Same, Same?

      • Martinjmpr says:

        Time Traveling Indian Warrior?

        HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER: Get a script write on that, STAT! 😀

  21. Fjardeson says:

    Separation code JFT, “unqualified for active duty (Other)”. Anyone see this one before?

  22. just some feller says:

    The red and blue blanket he has is worn by members of a Native association that comprises mostly veterans (sort of a Native American Legion); generally one puts his militaria on one side, or both — depending on the local organization.

    The Gourd Dance Society (tia piah) is generally thought of as a veteran’s society, but isn’t; it is traditionally a men-only society, though most of its members are veterans.

    I’ll sign off with my NA name.

    (a Southern Wind affiliation)

    ( Y ) <3 <3

  23. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Didn’t he also teach the Marine code talkers in the Pacific how to code talk? He would also make a great cigar store Indian.

  24. Ex-PH2 says:

    For some reason, I keep wanting to call this guy Shoehorn, instead of his German name. Don’t know why.

  25. RCAF_Chairborne says:

    Chief ‘Dances with Buttplug’

  26. RCAF_Chairborne says:

    From the Wannaabee Tribe

  27. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    Hey, Schoenherr! Ward Churchill called, he wants his mascara…er, “war paint” back.

    • rgr769 says:

      Schoenherr in German means “pretty man.” Maybe Chief Ironhorse is angling for a spot in The Village People. He and Chief Terrell (aka Paul Fultz) should pow wow together since they both got the boot as privates in 1980, although Terrell is rocking lots of extra POSer bling (CIB, PH, DFC, etc.). It has only been 37 years since these assclowns were fired from the all volunteer Army. One has to wonder when they each started their fake Indian/fake military careers. Oh well, our leading Taxachusetts Democrap likely to run for President, Lizzy Warren, self-identifies as a Native American. So, they are not too far off the mark as potential proglodytes. All they have to do now is start ranting about “white privilege.”

  28. Loach says:

    After his first 45 days he was picked for a classified assignment. You don’t have the clearance to know what he did.

  29. Sapper3307 says:

    The War of the worlds T.V show 1988-1990 hade
    LTC Ironhorse out saving the world and killing aliens, he was a Green Beret and bad ass.

  30. Mark Lauer says:

    Iron Horse. That’s the name the indians gave to the white man’s locomotive.
    So Joe is basically telling us he’s full of hot air.

  31. SMAG says:

    Hi All, this is my first post, but I’ve been a reader of the site for a couple years (in fact, I try to read a couple archived SV posts each day–after two years just made it back to 2015–right now I’m at the 2014 SV tourney).

    I had a question for “just some feller” about the blanket Pretty Boy Rusty Pony is disgracing with his unearned bling. Is each member’s design different, or do they all follow the exact pattern of the Navy/Marine Corps Combat Action Ribbon? If they each design their own, it’s an odd choice of colors for a (phony) Ranger.
    By the way, FuzeVT, I was in “A” school in Orlando when Boorda shot himself. His “Seaman-to-Admiral” program was pushed pretty hard for prospective officers, so he was well regarded among the enlisted ranks, and might as well have been God to those of us recently out of Boot. They had us assemble for a pep talk by the NPTC CO, telling us that there was no reason to off ourselves (though the chaplain saw at least a couple kids a week who were thinking of self-harm–probably from the tac-fives).
    That incident drove home for me at an early age the seriousness of wearing unearned honors.

    • FuzeVT says:

      I noticed the fact his blankety thing was in the pattern of a CAR as well. I, too, wondered why a “Ranger” would have a CAR blanket/stole/whatever. The only people who would be likely to pick up on that are also the people who would think it strange that he had done it.

      Suicide is something that I have been talked at/to/with my whole time in. I think that they sometimes believe that suicide can be completely eliminated which is not possible. People are much better at spotting the signs, but that also means that the truly committed know what NOT to say so people don’t prevent them. I had a suicide in my company late last year and the day it happened the Marine was making plans for the next day with her section.
      Sad, sad, sad.

      • SMAG says:

        Fuze, I’m sorry to hear that, but it’s good to hear that they’re at acknowledging the problem.
        I was out before constant combat was a reality for servicemembers, and the extent of mental health counseling on the boat was “Shave, shower, make your rack, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps–oh, and here’s a bag of Motrin”.
        The only mental health separation I saw after Boot was a kid in my division (of five), who was–ironically, given we’re discussing a Native here–a Navajo from Arizona. Didn’t adjust well to the confinement and op tempo of subs, and ended up taking a wrench to some electrical panels while underway. I was TDY for school at the time, just came back to one less ELT. Hello port-and-starboard watches.

    • just some feller says:

      Hi SMAG,

      Since about 1957 the blanket color is SOP blue/red, symbolizing night/day. The red represents the skunkberry that was in bloom during a famous 1838 Kiowa inter-tribal fight in OK; the blood made the skunkberries that much redder.

      Also worn is a strand of mescal beads as an over-the-shoulder bandolier — supposedly to represent the red skunkberries.

      The blue part of the blanket represents night, though I’ve also heard it represents the US Army they fought against.

      There is no SOP as to how one’s military badges are arranged …. but it should only be those which one has earned … or worn such as division patches. I like especially the 101st Screaming Eagle and the 2ID’s Indianhead patch.

      Before the 1930s the Gourd Dance used a white sheet tied around the waist as a sash; the Blue/Red blanket — although used in the 1800s — was used in the Native American Church (i.e., Peyote Church; advocated by Quanah Parker) where it had become part of its regalia. Since many members of the NAC were members of the Gourd Society, they brought their red/blue blankets. The red/blue blanket (sometimes a vest) is more or less SOP now.

      Quanah Parker:

  32. 11b-mailclerk says:

    When Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder meets eyeliner.

  33. Green Thumb says:

    This turd looks like some clown from the 80’s Chuck Norris or Segal movies.

    You know, the guy on the docks who gets his ass kicked?

    Though I am pretty sure this dude probably gets his ass kicked a lot.



    John Baloney-Pony more like it