Joseph Franklin Phillips; phony SEAL

| August 14, 2017

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this fellow, Joseph Phillips, who claimed that he was a Navy SEAL;

Aside from the fact that he doesn’t appear in the SEAL database, the Navy doesn’t remember that he trained as a SEAL;

He had an abbreviated career (2 years, 8 months) and left as a Fire Control Technician Ballistic Missile Third Class (FTB3–E-4), certainly nothing to be ashamed about.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (33)

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    All that REAL stuff, and he has to stomp on his own crank.

    What an utter moron.

  2. Mick says:

    I guess that earning those enlisted submariner Dolphins just wasn’t enough for ol’ Joey here. Had to go the phony SEAL route. Just had to.

    He’s also claiming Harvard Business School in the screenshot posted above.

    Yeah; sure thing Joey.

    Why do these guys with perfectly good military records continue to insist on shitting in their own mess gear with these lies and phony tales of derring-do?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Mick, if you get an answer to that question, would you please let me know, too? Thanks!

    • Fjardeson says:

      That one really burns. This guy works on ICBM’s, has his Dolphins, rides the boomer…something many folks never get to do…. and craps all over it.

  3. Combat Historian says:

    They want the glory, but not the pain required to get there…

  4. Dapandico says:

    He uses a lot of fancy words for anal lube

  5. ChipNASA says:

    How do you have an honorable discharge and only serve 2 years & 8 months?
    I got out 3 and 1/2 months early to go to college but that was it. I practically served all of my 4 years.

    • CCO says:

      I signed up for two years active and two years reserved so I got an honorable when I got out, albeit twenty days early due to being chaptered out because my father was terminal. I had done over 90 percent of the time I had signed up for (that’s how it was noted) so I was honorably discharged, just with a reenlistment code of 3.

      Now on the other hand, my Reserve discharge was a General under honorable conditions (which automatically upgraded to an Honorable after six months) because I didn’t work hard enough keeping myself in shape so I flunked two record PT tests.

      So, I guess it just depends on the contract he had signed up with.

      • IDC SARC says:

        I don’t recall the navy offering a two year option during that time frame.

        • Silentium Est Aureum says:

          In the early 90s, there were a VERY few offered.

          But those were all apprenticeship training enlistments, and if you wanted any A-school, you had to extend/reenlist for it.

        • AOCM says:

          On my first enlistment I came in on a two year contract in 1992.

      • D says:

        I hate to break it to you, but discharges don’t automatically upgrade after six months. That is an urban legend.

    • Bobo says:

      He had a 6 year enlistment for the Strategic Weapons Systems Electronics program, just like I did. Somehow he managed to get out after 3.

      • Hack Stone says:

        Maybe he was on the AEP (Accelerated Enlistment Program). That it is when you dick up enough in your first 18 months than the Average Joe in a 4 year contract, and you have fulfilled your brig obligation.

  6. CCO says:

    I’m outraged! Where are the phony Quartermasters, the cooks, the clerks. Oh, nooo, everybody since Hitler was a corporal wants to jump over to some high-speed, low drag “they made a movie about us” outfit. Not even a three jump chump; hey, I’m a leg, my daddy was a leg, his uncle was a leg. But no, all these Nick Noids have to fake up stuff to impress people. (OK, this is a Navy ragbag, but I don’t feel like racking my brains for analogies).

    Shoot, this dude volunteered to go live underwater in a metal tube with a nuclear reactor and a bunch of nuclear warheads in 1989, back before being the military was really all that cool again. No way I woulda done that. Now what he was wasn’t good enough for him.

    Idiot; liar; bonehead.

    • NormanS says:

      They didn’t make a movie about “us”; but they made some of us (volunteers) into a movie. Had I asked, I’d have been the “background” in “Hair”. The producers put out a casting call for extras from the 40th Infantry Division. I think the soldiers boarding C-130 scene was filmed at Ft. Irwin, California.

  7. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    I went in just before I turned 18 with my parents consent and did a Kiddie cruise for 3 years. No more, no less and did not have to embellish my service time. Also did ARNGUS 1975-1977 and it’s the same as above. This guy had to be a SEAL with those mirrored sunglasses on top of his cap. Hmmmmm. Maybe someone can throw him a fish after he plays those bicycle horns that one could see seals doing on the Ed Sullivan show back in the 1950’S. Something Fishy about this guy.

  8. IDC SARC says:

    Tusculum College has no degrees in Organizational Mangement.

    Harvard Business School has an MBA and several Doctoral options, none of which are “Professional Leadership Development”

    Wow, what a surprise that was.

  9. Jay says:

    Legit GOOD service and shits the bed after he gets out.


  10. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Yet another pisspants pus-nuts no-load bucket of glittery unicorn shit that had to piss all over himself by lying his ass off!

  11. Rock says:

    One has to wonder why the majority of Special Operations posers have double chins, man boobs, nasty unkempt beards, disgusting fat bodies, dumber than a starfish, and of course, BRAG about CLASSIFIED OPERATIONS.

    • Carlton G. Long says:

      And sitting in what appears to be the General Admission section at a baseball stadium. What a loser.

  12. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    Bobo, not being terribly familiar with how the Weaponeers on boomers worked, Wasn’t FTB a 6YO due to the schooling involved, or at least 5 because of the E-4 guarantee?

    Near as I can tell, he left the Franklin in September 1991, meaning he did AT MOST two patrols. If he did only one and still got qualified, that’s actually pretty damned impressive.

    But noooooooo, that’s not good enough.

    And given nature of discharge, I’d venture to guess something beyond his control versus dick-steppage on his part.

    • RM3(SS) says:

      Exactly what my thought was. He made E-4 right after A school, which usually meant an additional 2 year extension. It was even offered back in my day, we called it Push Button 3.
      Given that he got an Honorable discharge, I’d bet it was a medical issue.
      Earned his dolphins, something that 99% of the people will never do, and then pulls this crap.
      Fuckin slugbutt, turn in your fish.

    • Bobo says:

      Once you graduated from SWSE “A” and went on to either, in his era, MT, ET, or FTB, “C” school, you were promoted to E4, and activated a two year enlistment extension, with a 6 year total commitment.

      When I first saw this, I assumed that he was a failure to qualify guy, but the FOIA shows dolphins. If not that, then he was a med discharge or got tossed.

  13. Green Thumb says:

    Just another oozy, steaming pile of Phil Monkress.