William Lunsford; phony soldier

| September 2, 2017

The folks at Military Phonies send us their work on this fellow, William Lunsford who claimed to them that he was assigned to train Navy SEALs in hand-to-hand combat from his Army assignment, and he was made an “honorary Honorary Lieutenant Commander” from his Army rank of Sergeant E-5.

So, the folks at Military Phonies got his FOIA. According to Army records, he spent four months at Fort Knox to be a 19E tank crewman (M48/M60 series tanks). And then he was out on the street;

So when Military Phonies confronted him about his records, Lunsford told them that he was a secret squirrel instructor;

Yeah, fat chance, junior. That story might work with people whose only experience in the military comes from Hollywood, but don’t try it with veterans. Goober.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (35)

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    Barely four months. Must have been the longest four months of his life.

  2. 1610desig says:

    Well at least he dresses fashionably…late-60s halfway house

  3. Doc Savage says:

    Is it just me, or does he look like Ernest P. Worrel’s unborn twin?

  4. Green Thumb says:

    Yet another substandard discharge shitbag.

    Hand to hand, huh?

    More like ass to mouth.

    What a clown.

  5. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    A real-deal ballsack worker…

  6. OldManchu says:

    Nice apartment dwelling. Someone should check it for signs of little children.

  7. 26Limabeans says:

    Love the fighting stance. Legs wide open.

  8. Combat Historian says:

    Army Bootcamp washout teaches martial arts to Navy SEALs while on seekrit skuarrel TDY status. Yep, happens everyday…

  9. Forest Green says:

    Crypt Keeper.

  10. Green Thumb says:

    What the fuck is he doing in that last picture?

    I assume he is attempting to look tough but he comes off more as the missing clown from the Village People.

    Now that I think about it, the (Village People) are a lot more hardcore than this felcher.

    Karaoke anyone…..

  11. PARANAH says:

    Hey Chucklenuts, I just sent a message to all your FaceBook friends letting them know that you are a FRAUD!!!

    • IDC SARC says:


    • Club Manager says:

      PARANAH, well done. When one of these items refers to an employer, a paper, a VFW or Legion Post, etc., I do the research and email all the URL and copy and paste the story. Keep up doing the Facebook thing and let’s keep taking these jerks down.

  12. JimV says:


  13. lily says:

    Lunsford looks like he was about to injure his back by holding that heavy knife. Either that or cut his forehead. He looks like he was prepared to eat a steak rather than a fight.

  14. Sparks says:

    This ass hat watched “The Hunted” too many times.

  15. Mr. Pete says:

    Honorary Lt. Commander?


    At least he’s got that!

  16. RM3(SS) says:

    Looked at his pictures, wow! He’s got mad skillz! A regular White Bruce Lee! LOL!!!

    • IDC SARC says:

      and just like Bruce Lee…lubbs the camera, but haz no competitive record.

      • mr. sharkman says:

        Maybe no official record.

        But Bruce Lee grew up a street fighter.

        You should look up the story about what happened when a Tong real-deal killer and street fighter basically called him a pretty boy while watching the filming of fight scenes for ‘Enter the Dragon’.

        The short version is the Tongs made friends with him and respected him after he…’replied’. 😉

        • Green Thumb says:

          Maybe he could team up with “Ranger” Burrell?

          Because the way I am looking at it, this turd is the “5th Least Dangerous Man in the World”.

  17. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He looks like some creepy Janitor that would hang out near schools in a windowless van.

  18. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Forgot to mention that Jim Varney AKA Ernest passed on a number of years ago from lung cancer. RIP Ernest

  19. Old 1SG, US Army (Retired) says:

    “Yep, I’m Army, E-5 type, yepper, uh huh, 10th Armor B-4-1”

    Gee, why wouldn’t we believe he would be selected to train SEALS in hand to hand and knives? I mean, c’mon is B-4-1 one that much of a dead give away? And tankers with four months of active duty are definitely experts at hand to hand…

    Probably received all his training at the “Rusty Bolt” right next to old D-3-1…

    Man, I impress myself sometimes, remembered my tanker AIT unit from back in the ’70s… and my wife says I have CRS…

  20. PRCS(AW/SW) Ret. says:

    Why are these guys always half-literate? This assclown can barely spell his name.