Anthony Joseph Cicola; phony SEAL

| September 18, 2017

Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this fellow Anthony Joseph Cicola (Tony) who claims that he was a Navy SEAL;

But, no, the Navy doesn’t remember him like that – he was an engineman on the USS Jason (ARF-8) from 1976 – 1980. No SEAL Training;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (35)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. EODJay says:


  2. Claw says:

    Start of a new week and the first one out of the box is a phony SEAL.

    I can feel the pressure starting to build up around the main gasket on 1A-BLR MS-1 (per the Master Blaster).

    This will not be good for Tony.

  3. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    Honorable service is not enough, so steps on his dick. I knew someone that served on the USS Vulcan (AR-5), and he said that vintage WW2 bucket was some rough duty.

    The proliferation of phonies wearing hats makes me question any guy I see sporting some sort of military lid. My mother-in-law bought me a nice US Navy hat, but I hardly ever wear it for that reason.

    • EODJay says:

      My dad was an Engineman on the Vulcan. Small world.

    • Marine 0331 says:

      No man, you gotta wear that cover. I wear a Marine cover or a Marine tee shirt fairly often on the weekends. I don’t wear them together, but I am proud of my service. I earned the right to wear it and I will. Fuck those asshole phonies. Anyone who sees me proudly wearing my Marine tee shirt or cover can ask me any questions they want to help them legitimize my service to themselves if they want to and while it’s sad that we have to do that, in many cases that’s the only way to stop these phony chucklehead fucksticks. Dude. Wear that Navy cover proudly.

  4. Claw says:

    Oh, and another thing, Tony. Learn how to spell the word heavy.

    Although the Urban Dictionary’s definition of “Heavey” is:

    “Someone who is quite simply better than everyone else. Has a reputation for having a massive cock and being financially independent.”

    I don’t think you fit that definition.


    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      Having a massive cock and being a massive prick are two entirely different things.

      • Claw says:

        You’re correct Jonn.

        Maybe we should start referring to the C-130 Compass Call non-pilot cheese gobbler as “Heavey Chevy”?

        • Green Thumb says:

          I just go with a “Steaming Pile of Phil Monkress”.

          Its simple, succinct and really is able to capture and convey the reality that the individual to whom you are referring is a complete and total sack of shit.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Heavey – also the term used for a horse with a chronic obstructive respiratory condition known as the heaves. Pronounced ‘hee-vee’.

  5. Club Manager says:

    I shared the fucker’s information with the NSF IG since he claimed to be a Heavey (sic) Mechanic with the US Antarctic Program. Spelled it incorrectly twice actually.

    • Claw says:

      Actually there’s five separate entries on his FB page where he spells it as Heavey.

      • Club Manager says:

        Correct Claw. I’ll let the NSF IG do the Facebook page research, I just referred to the document on this site to keep it simple. I will make a typo on occasion but have always been able to correctly spell my job title.

  6. 26Limabeans says:

    You guys got it all wrong again.
    A “heavey” mechanic is one who gets loaded on the job and heaves all over his work.
    Just like this guy did.

  7. 1610desig says:

    Hey Tony, baby, can u actually produce a bicep? I think not…no need to be grotesquely overdeveloped but if you’re claiming to be a SEAL, try to have arms to support those cheesy tats

  8. Cris says:

    And there’s that motorcycle angle, the red 81 (Hells Angels) support shirt…

  9. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Hey Tony no baloney, from one snipe(A Gang) to another, don’t ever let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cancel.

  10. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    At the starting gate. bang the gun goes off and it’s the Phony Seals in the lead followed by the phony Special Forces.

  11. A Proud Infidel®™ says:


  12. Ex-PH2 says:

    Obviously, having excessive pit hair is the true mark of a real SEAL. He could take a few lessons from Joe Pesci about that.

  13. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Oversized after-market US Navy SEAL Trident Ball Cap = LEGIT … every time!

    Because we all know real US Navy SEALs always wear oversized after-market US Navy SEAL Trident ball caps.

  14. Yef says:

    Fat guy showing muscle?


    Does he have a beast mode too?

  15. Sarge says:

    Little late to the party since I ran out of coffee, but here goes…


  16. Defender says:

    Nice bingo wings there Tony bologna. You should flap your fat ass down to the local GROWASPINE store. You’re a giant fuckin turd in the Navy punch bowl.


    ‘Heavey’ on the bullshit, light in the skull