Edward I. Campbell; phony SEAL

| September 22, 2017 | 47 Comments

The Columbus Dispatch tells the story of Edward I. Campbell, an investment advisor who told his prospective clients that he was a Navy SEAL;

The Reynoldsburg man boasted to his clients that he was a former Navy [SEAL] who had international business expertise and he could deliver huge returns on their investments.

But federal investigators discovered another story. Edward I. Campbell, 41, never had been a Navy Seal or international businessman. Through his investment firm, Rosewood Consulting LLC in Baltimore, Ohio, Campbell had overseen a $1.4 million investment-fraud scheme with at least 44 victims.

Campbell yesterday in U.S. District Court, pleaded guilty to federal charges of money laundering and wire fraud in connection with the scam.

Campbell signed on 44 clients who he ripped off – he agreed in court to pay restitution… $1,408,854. The article says that he faces 30 years in the gray bar hotel.

From Warning Blog;

First example, on February 12, 2013 we talked to a victim/investor (Rob) who was brought into one of Edward I. Campbell’s programs in March 2012 under the same structure as when we came in on July 31, 2012.

Both of our programs were structured the same way. In 10 business days after money was wired to Edward I. Campbell’s account both victim/investor (Rob) and ourselves were promised to receive an enormous return on our initial investment.

In victim/investor (Rob’s) case, he invested Forty Five Thousand Dollars ($45,000) and in 10 days he was promised to receive a minimum of Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars ($450,000).

In our case, we invested One Hundred Thousand Dollars ($100,000) and were promised in 10 business days to receive Two Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars ($2,500,000).

In both cases Edward I. Campbell failed to pay the sum promised.

Yeah, well, you can’t cheat an honest man. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (47)

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  1. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    No POSer like a felonious POSer.

  2. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    Stolen Valor–The rancid cherry on top of the shit sundae.

    And newsflash, if someone promises you a 2500% ROI, especially within two weeks, run far, run fast.

  3. bombstopr says:

    A fool and his money are soon parted.

  4. Wilted Willy says:

    This sounds a lot like the scam my pos brother pulled in Denver, he only got 3 years in the federal pen for that and didn’t even address his stolen valor at all! I hope this scumbag gets at least 30 years with Tiny and the gang at the deli!

  5. Daedalus says:

    Another fucking SEAL. FFS everyone is a SEAL these days. With that smile, that asshole is probably staring down some juicy cockmeat sandwiches that he is just dying to munch on. It looks like he taped some goat scrotum pubes on his chin that he got from sucking on the balls of a goat.

    Well, considering that he’s being deployed to the big house for 30 years, he’ll definitely become a seal. I know this because he’s going to be juggling the balls of Bubba and Thor for 30 years with his mouth. I’d say that counts for being a seal.

    What a fucking penis.

  6. Instinct says:

    Wait… you mean they don’t teach international business as part of SEAL training either?

    Hope he enjoys pound-me-in-the-ass-prison.

  7. USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

    He mustn’t have heard of Bernie “MadeOff”.


  8. Ex-PH2 says:

    Why does no one ask the obvious question: what the hell is a SEAL doing running an investment setup? (Not going to use ‘company’.)

    Why does no one ever say “SEAL, huh? Prove it, sport.”

  9. Skyjumper says:

    I can just hear Bubba, Thor, Tiny & Julio say “those are the whitest teeth I’ve ever cum across” when they first see Campbells’s pearlies.


  10. Skyjumper says:

    And as far as the victims go, I can understand someone being unknowingly taken in by an investor that promises them a decent rate of return & then uses the money for their own purposes.

    BUT, when someone tells them that “if you give me $100,000.00 to invest for you and in two weeks I’ll give you $2,500,00.00 back”? Run Forest, run…… as far and as fast as your fricken’ feet can carry you from this guy!!

    What part of “if it sounds to good to be true, it ain’t” didn’t these greedy &%$)*! understand?

    • Martinjmpr says:

      Yeah, the only way you’re going to get that kind of ROI is if you invest in an organization that imports vegetable products from South America….

      Or to put it a different way, with that kind of ROI, if it’s legal it ain’t real, and if it’s real, it ain’t legal. 😉

  11. Green Thumb says:

    I imagine that All-Points Logistics could use his talents…..

  12. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Yeah…because ten times ROI in ten days happens all the fucking time….I’m not wealthy by any means but what I do have I’ve earned and been patient in building…it’s enough to sustain me long beyond my expected life span…

    10x ROI in less than a month, shit less than a few years is always going to be some really speculative shit, some illegal shit, or just some bullshit…and you should expect to lose all of the money you invest in any high speculation endeavor, if you can’t afford to lose that money high risk speculation isn’t for you and you need a more stable, low risk investment vehicle….

    None of this is rocket science….it’s just money math…

    This dickhead should still be prodded in his ass for years in prison, but his victims were dipshits as well…

  13. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    *Cell door slams shut*

    Bubba: You’re in for a while.

    Edward I. Campbell: Uhhh, yeah.

    Bubba: Gonna be like we’re married, you gonna be the Husband or Wife?

    Edward I. Campbell: HUSBAND!!!

    Bubba: Fine by me, NOW GET OVER HERE and suck your wife’s dick, BITCH! PUT that purty mouf’ to work…

  14. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Hell with it, I hereby motion for the Official TAH Wall of Insults®™ to be raised against Edward I Campbell the bogus SEAL and conman!

    • Josey Wales says:

      Edward I. Campbell – *PTUI*


      • ChipNASA says:

        I had to refresh my screen, sorry about that.

        Well Eddy,
        Bend over because here it comes. BITE THE PILLOW MOTHERFUCKER, you may as well get used to taking it square up the ass, because your Jail Bros are going to use you as a chewy toy…

        Wall of Insults®™
        FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
        DANGER CLOSE!!!!
        MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
        TAKE COVER!!!!!

        Edward I. Campbell, is NOT a SEAL, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, needle dick bug fucker, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, prickwrinkler, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, Santorum Stained Molting Muscrat, whoreson whale’s carcass, overzealous polyp burglar, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, toadstool slime-inhaling dickdrizzling sludge, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, moron, Poodle Raper, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes ,terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, poofter, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter butt-slut sphincter goblin, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) is a LIAR, a FAKE, a FRAUD, A Phony, not a SEAL, shortly is going to be in JAIL, is a criminal, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed Swamp Donkey, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of Siberian and stack of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

        Here endith the lesson.

      • Josey Wales' Redbone Hound says:

        Phony SEAL?


  15. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Well at least he doesn’t live in the Gunshine state of Florida.

  16. Hack Stone says:

    Hack invested all of his money in a company that makes replacement mailbox doors, but the bottom fell out when some asshole in Bethesda MD made it fashionable to have a mailbox without a door. Lost all of my money and had to go back to working, selling outdated software to the federal government.

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