Christopher Hoel; phony SEAL

| September 29, 2017 | 65 Comments

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on Christophe Hoel who claims to be a Navy SEAL, of course, there’s a vest, and the SEAL Trident is sown on the back down at the bottom;

Yeah, no. He got out of the Navy after less than two-and-a-half years as a Fireman Apprentice (E-2). No BUD/S training, no SEAL assignments;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (65)

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    For breakfast, I will be having sausages, toast and orange juice, plus hot tea and the newspaper.

    Oh! Was there something important about this guy, other than his weak ego and feelings of inadequacy?

  2. Fully Loaded says:

    Mess Hall Door Gunner!

  3. 1610desig says:

    I can’t quite make out what that patch on the lower right says…I think it says “If you can read this, your dick isn’t long enough”.

  4. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Well the SEALs kind of put out fires so maybe that’s why he thinks he’s one of them…maybe he’s just really stupid.

    Or he’s just another piece of shit, jerkoff, fucking liar.

  5. Guard Bum says:

    If I chose to be a valor thief and claim to be a Navy Seal one thing would stand out (above many others Im sure!) that would ruin my story….no way I could swim like a SEAL!! I was always a 1st class swim qual in the Marine Corps but it wasn’t pretty and I always felt I was close to drowning.

    I remember when I was TAD at NAB Little Creek back in the late 70s we ran on the beach for PT thinking we were big bad Marine studs only to look out past the surf line and see SEALs swimming for looong periods of time….and it was winter. No thanks!

    Now days I will sit at the side of the pool dangling my feet in the water and enjoy a cocktail but thats about it!

  6. Daedalus says:

    Another phony SEAL. Guys, since I live in Florida, if I ever start to claim that I’m a SEAL or something like that, please just end my fucking life. I’d rather die than succumb to whatever is in the water down here.

    All jokes aside, this guy is a run of the mill asshoel. Needed to massage his ego, but his military service wouldn’t cut it. Needed to pretend to be a SEAL when in reality he only served three years and only earned the coveted NDSM.

    Lying shitbag.

  7. lily says:

    Wonder how many combat vets he tried to “one up” with his lie? Probably a lot. Blue Falcon.

    • IDC SARC says:

      Spreading the lie to his son (look at the pic on military phonies) is arguably, the worst part of his escapade.

      • Daedalus says:

        Wow, now that’s just a fucking shame. Lying to his own kid about things he never did, making him think that he’s a hero when he’s just a zero. That’s just fucking deplorable. If I had a kid, I don’t think I could ever lie to him about shit like that. That’s so fucked. I feel bad for the kid that he has a piece of shit for a father.

        • 26Limabeans says:

          My dad told me some wild stories.
          After he passed I got his complete service record. Every story was true.
          The joy I felt is something this shitbag has stolen from his own son.
          Poor kid.

    • Window Licker says:

      My 10 year old son will listen to my stories (all true) or insights and look away and go… meh….and turn back to his video game and say, you have never been in a fire fight like this…..and I have 32 years worth of stories, and multiple deployments. The difference I tell him is; if we f*cked up we did not get to “re-spawn”. Little Booger!

      I wonder what kind of lies this turd comes up with to tell people.

  8. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Another phony non Floridian Fireman deuce Seal claimer. I wonder how many Snipes claim to be phony Seals. Bit of trivia. BTC Snipe ran the hole (Boiler Room)in the days of the coal burners and there was a small mutiny about working conditions. After the incident, working conditions improved. the word Black shoe was also from the coal era.

    • Rock says:

      That’s actually neat, I never knew the origin of “black shoe”, though I was proud to be part of the black shoe Navy,

      My father, being an AT, was a brown shoe. Always enjoyed that brown shoes looked like they stepped in shit 😂.

      • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

        I forgot to mention that a lot of the guys wore short wellington leather boots when we went on the beach (liberty) These were unauthorized but the pants hid the part where they stove piped up. Any of you out there remember them???

    • 1610desig says:

      And, quite literally, surface folks usually wore black “dress” shoes while aviator types wore brown shoes…the uniform instruction loosened up in the mid-90s to authorize the surface folks to wear brown shoes and maybe vice versa…I don’t know too many who did…at least in my day, if you knew someone as a “shoe”, it meant “black shoe” and meant surface warfare…I won’t speak for submariners or others

  9. RM3(SS) says:

    If you want to send his American Legion post some love, here it is.

  10. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Pisspants pud-knuckling pickle-polishing pudding sampler!

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