Randy Duck; phony Senior Chief Gunners Mate

| October 6, 2017 | 133 Comments

Someone sent us their work on this fellow, Randy Duck, who wore this uniform with rank of a Senior Chief Gunners Mate and a whole slew of medals to a church “veterans’ appreciation day” event. Among the awards he’s wearing are the Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist badge, the First Class Diver badge and a Navy Achievement Medal with ‘V’ device for valor.

According to the Navy, he left after four honorable years of service as an E-3 Gunners Mate. His only award was the Sea Service Ribbon;

He didn’t earn that National Defense Service Medal he’s wearing either.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (133)

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  1. chooee lee says:

    Is it true a Gunners Mate can draw his guns before a Boatswains Mate can blow All Hands.


  2. Graybeard says:

    ::shakes head in disbelief::

  3. Ex-PH2 says:

    Finally! I have a gedunk medal and he doesn’t!!! Hah! I win!!

    And not only that, he’s impersonating a senior CPO. I’m awaiting the feedback from our local Master Chief.

  4. OldManchu says:

    “Hey hey hey…. it’s faaaaaaattt Albert!”

  5. Hondo says:

    I’m guessing his NEC was “Wide Load Cargomaster” . . . .

  6. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He looks like he has NEVER met a jelly doughnut he didn’t like. Now that he has some Google fame coming his way he ought to chin up, and I mean ALL THREE of them!

  7. HMC Ret says:

    That dude can block out the sun. YOU tell him he’s out of uniform.

  8. HMC Ret says:

    Anyone know his personal zip code?

  9. Ex-PH2 says:

    Speaking of randy ducks:

  10. ChipNASA says:

    If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it’s an enormous waddling asshole.

  11. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    I guess his favorite morning breakfast meal is milk and Quackers.

  12. 1610desig says:

    If this dude actually floats (like a duck), he would present a hazard to navigation…

  13. radar says:

    If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then….it must be a lying sack of shit phony.

  14. Wilted Willy says:

    What? No SEAL claims!! This fat fuck isn’t even trying. No poser vest, sunglasses, dog, Harley and not a doo rag in site? He is so fat, they had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him??

  15. Ex-PH2 says:

    Enough already! His size is life-threatening… to the furniture.

    Hey, if I can lose weight and 8 inches off my waist, he can lose 8 times what I’ve done. And no, I don’t want any of it back.

  16. Hack Stone says:

    He never met a meal that he didn’t like.

  17. Jay says:

    3pts for not claiming SEAL, Ranger, Delta, Green Beanie, etc……

    But dear God….dem tiddies doe.

    • IDC SARC says:

      Claiming to be a 1st Class Deep Sea Diver, serving in Afghanistan, Iraq,SWA, otherwise deployed in the GWOT, Combat Valor, Good Conduct, ESWS and even his Marksmanship Quals all involve things he never experienced.

      That little gold oval is also a Command pin, so he’s not only claiming to have made Senior Chief, but to have served as a Command Senior Chief, which is also similarly insulting since that is something many actual Senior Chief’s don’t get to do.

      This guy didn’t claim he was a SOF operator, but IMO is is no less despicable.

  18. Green Thumb says:

    Fatty McTool.

  19. GoldenDragon says:

    4 years and just one ribbon. Poor guy. :p

  20. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    GMSC Klump reporting for duty!

    Seriously, where in the hell did he get that costume…Thornton Mellon’s Tall & Fat? I guess they’re making dress blues for the Hindenburg Collection.

    Added bonus: He’d rather kneel with Kap than stand with the President. I bet he still wonders why he never made 3rd class.

  21. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I heard he still has scars from his las trip to the beach. The last time he went there some Greenpeace hippies dragged him so far out in the water he got harpooned by some Japanese Tourists!

  22. Red Ghost says:

    NDSM valor thieves are the worse. All the other stuff is just gravy. And this guy can’t say no to the gravy. Or donuts, pie, and cake.

  23. Combat Historian says:

    Don’t you all remember that back in 1989, anyone who received an honorable discharge were automatically rewarded with a five-grade discharge prormotion; so this nice man is LEGIT !!!

  24. QMC says:

    A 4 year GMSN.

    Yeah sure. That’s about the same thing as a Senior Chief Petty Officer.

  25. Carlton G. Long says:

    Ironic that he would try to pull off wearing a fruit salad when salads in general are anathema to him.

  26. REMF says:

    Duck you suck !!!!!!!

  27. AnotherPat says:

    Why do all the comments remind me of this classic cartoon? (Smile):

  28. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Words Matter!

    Word # 1: MAN

    Word # 2: BRA

    That is all I got!

  29. HMC Ret says:

    If he wore a yellow slicker in the rain he might be mistaken for a taxi.

    But he has a GREAT personality.

  30. IDC SARC says:

    I was looking at his posts on the USS Edmonton FB page. He stays pretty tight lipped over there. Didn’t see a single comment from him about any specifics regarding his rank, time served, where, etc. except for reporting to the Edmonton as a non-rate fresh outta A School and generally ambiguous “old salt” swagger. Turd

  31. W2 says:

    Change my rate to Gunner’s Mate, do da, do da. All I can say after the last couple of weeks is I can’t believe he isn’t claiming to be a SEAL.

  32. Kat says:

    He’s also wearing a Command Senior Chief pin, and so is claiming to be the Senior Enlisted Advisor (like the Command Master Chief or Chief of the Boat) somewhere. Quite a jump from GMSN!

    • IDC SARC says:

      yep…I brought that up earlier. This guy really pisses me off.

      • Kat says:

        I saw your post and said to myself, “oops!” But I’ll also note that if he had truly been selected for the Senior Enlisted Leader program, his rate would be CMDCS, not GMCS, and he’d have a different patch (a star instead of the GM rating symbol). Once you’re a command Enlisted leader of some kind, /that/ is your new specialty. But that’s a nuance that I’m not sure a typical Sailor would pick up on his or her first (and only) tour.

        • IDC SARC says:

          True, but that particular designation (CMDCS or CMDCM)) didn’t exist during his time in…though neither did most of his service medals and …. jeebus …there goes my B/P again.

          • Kat says:

            Ah! I stand corrected, thank you! The earliest I can go by for the pins (via an extremely cursory and lazy check) is NAVADMIN 274/06 (2006), which is the manner of wear for those pins, and OPNAVINST 1306.2D (2000), which fleshed out the Command Senior Enlisted Advisor program. It wasn’t until 2015 that CMDCS became an actual rating (that replaced one’s source rating), per NAVADMIN 177/15. I wonder if this person is claiming to retired from the Navy, or to have been Enlisted beyond 1989? He’d have to have been in for 21 years to make it to the point where the pin would have been available (and he was only in for 4).
            Here, have some scotch (or the adult beverage of your choice) to help that blood pressure — woooo-sah!

          • Ex-PH2 says:

            Bumped up your blood pressure?

            Why don’t you guys point and giggle like I do?? I don’t get it. This guy has four years of service including “A” School but somehow couldn’t get past E-3. Obviously, he has Feelings of Extreme Inadequacy, a/k/a the “can’t measure up” syndrome and he’s play-acting to make his fantasies come true.

            Go to a sci-fi or fantasy fictio convention some time, or a Renaissance Festival – something like that. You will see enough Lord Neverweres and Lady NIMBYs to fill a full sequel to the Summer Game of Thrones (which is now ending, because Winter approaches).

            What this guy doesn’t realize that at a Ren Faire, he could tell everyone he’s Othello looking for his Desdemona, or even the black court jester version of Sir John Falstaff, an extremely fat, lying, thieving, cowardly, drunken, and utterly shameless rogue with a talent for telling tales and rationalizing his actions.

  33. AW1Ed says:

    True Facts about the Duck. Not for the faint of heart- you have been warned.

  34. NHSparky says:

    Can you imagine this guy on a boat? Talk about a one-man trim party!

    Of course, about the only way he’d ever get on a submarine is if you greased his hips and threw in a candy bar.

    Diabetes is no joke, Randy.

  35. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    I imagine it’s going to be hard to “DUCK” this one Duck.

  36. How does someone that fat even wipe their ass after taking a no doubt about it megadump, I’m sure he can’t reach that butthole to properly clean up, the guy must stink like a sewer or septic tank. dudes gross

  37. Rosalee Adams says:

    It continues to amaze why anyone would do this.
    Surely they realize they will be found out as those who did serve in the units they claim will challenge them.
    I have had friends who have challenged them and even when they were found to be stolen valor, they just kept on claiming.

    I guess the only way to describe stolen valor is to say no honor, no integrity and above no respect for those who have served.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Like Don Shipley (SCPO, USN, Ret.) said in an interview, “Most of these guys are going to take their lies with them all the way to the grave.”.

    • Hack Stone says:

      Hackbcan can give you five contacts of Marines (and other service members) that he has served with at every duty assignment and class assignment, and is FaceBook friends with at least three from every assignment. Don’t the friends and relatives ever wonder why these “combat wounded retired veterans” do not take advantage of their military benefits, like Tricare, VA home loans or shopping at the PX? The all seem to be one step away from being declared financially insolvent, if they are already there, nor do they ever use the military provided training to support their family. They always come back with “The Green Machine used me up and spit me out. I don’t want anything to do with them.” But somehow, their Facebook pages are loaded with patriotic memes and generic military photos that they claim are them in action.

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        Amen to that! That is also another sob story line one often hears from some of the “Professional Homeless” types which you see sitting somewhere looking all disheveled with a cardboard sign saying something like “Homeless Vet, please help, God Bless” who often turn out to be phonies.

  38. Aut pax aut bellum! says:

    What are those floaty thingys that ships use to navigate by? They just bob up and down, record wave height, frequencies,water temps I forget the name of em, but he’s perfect.or a great potential for large chum slick too..

  39. 11 Bravo says:

    Ass hamster. I don’t sea it mentioned here, former Seal team leader, who did 57 combat tours too. Yes, he is a legend…….. In his own mind.

  40. RetiredDevilDoc8404 says:

    Dayyymmm…he’s got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

  41. NotaLeg says:

    So I am genuinely interested in hearing what it was about this guy that set off the alarm bells? What caused someone to say “hey, that doesn’t look right, let’s pull his records.” What there something in particular?I know next to nothing about the Navy and I would have walked past him and his uniform without even thinking about it.

  42. hoofhearted says:

    duck. you fuck.
    not enough hot air to lift you.
    no one wanted to kiss you.
    if edenton was your pinnacle…
    even BUPERS couldn’t find you with their binnacle.
    senior chief gunner’s mate?
    yeah…keep on with THAT masturbate.
    ohh…and get some some more SSDR’s, you phat phuck,
    to match your waistline. cocksmoker.

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