Joe Weldon Cox; phony Marine

| October 11, 2017 | 212 Comments

Someone wrote to us about this guy, Joe Weldon Cox, who told them that he was a Gunnery Sergeant in Force Recon, that he had trained Chris Kyle while he was serving with SEALs. The poor guy can’t get to the VA for his medical problems because his ex-wife burned his DD214, so we decided to help him out after we found out that he’s legit, because, you know, he has the tattoo;

He had about two weeks in the Army before they kicked him to the curb. I think he holds the record for the least time in service. His 2-1 says that he reported for duty on September 15, 1976 and he was out on October 4th. Thank you for your service

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (212)

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  1. Doc Savage says:

    Ho. Lee. Chit.

    That fella left skid marks at in/out processing…19 days by my math…is this a new record?

  2. Mick says:

    Oh. Hell. No.

    — sigh —

    Here we go again. Let’s review, shall we?

    – USMC Gunnery Sergeant

    – Force Recon

    – Served with SEALs

    – Trained Chris Kyle (that implies that he’s also a USMC Sniper)

    – USMC Force Recon ‘Swift, Silent, Deadly’ tattoo

    – Motorcycle

    – He’s sporting a doo-rag in a photo over at his Book of the Face page

    The only things that we seem to be missing at this point are a leather vest covered in poser bling, a raging case of The PTSD, a service dog, and some of those snazzy dumbass-looking, white-framed, mirror-lensed, wrap-around sunglasses that are so popular in the Wide World of Poserdom.

    Totally legit.

  3. A Proud Infidel®™ says:


  4. Hondo says:

    Just another freaking con man with 27 days service (including DEP time) and an early discharge. Fhak’heem.

  5. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Thrown out that quick in 1976? What did he do, wet the bed right after getting caught humping someone’s poodle?

  6. Dave Hardin says:

    Obviously, you only got his records from Ft. Knox before he was transferred to 2nd Force RECON. That was all before Delta was formed and they had to send their serious bad asses somewhere. The probably didnt want to bother him with any of that Ranger stuff.

  7. IDC SARC says:

    being a loser is one thing, proving it with a tattoo is pathetic

  8. Mick says:

    Here’s a random thought for Team TAH:

    Would it be possible for us to get a patent/copyright for an Official TAH SOP and Checklist for Effective/Realistic Military Posing?

    If so, just think of the revenue that we could generate. Those things would just fly off of the bookshelves throughout the land.

  9. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I see he sports a TWIC Card which allows him access into places like ports. The requirements for being allowed one? Something like not being a Convicted Felon, other than that…

  10. Martinjmpr says:

    But he did rocket up to the rank of PV2.

    You know, they don’t just hand those out. You have to EARN those mosquito wings!

  11. Ret_25X says:

    Damn, below the gunga din line…

    no doubt sucks a fat baby’s ass…

  12. REMF says:

    What a douche bag. Another phony hero playing dress up hero.

  13. Cris says:

    I swear, sometimes I wonder why I put in 24 years when all I had to do was buy a few patches, get “the” tattoo, watch some action movies for the proper verbiage, and viola, instant bad-ass. The hardest part would be trying to decide rank…the well-known “Gunny” or the cool sounding “Gunner” or “Master Guns” and have both. As far as MOS, hell, all of them: Force Recon, Sniper, MARSOC (Raider), SEAL, Delta, SCUBA/Jump Qual’d…

  14. Combat Historian says:

    All of 19 days, this worthless POS probably had not even learned how to do “EYES RIGHT” in his D and C training when he was kicked to the curb. His gunga dan stat is so low that it makes the actual Gunga Dan looks like a seasoned killer by comparison…

  15. Bubba sills says:

    Holy shit I had no idea I lived with this man and his so for quiet a while he always played the marine card and I was a gunny on us at the fire department wow y’all about being duped

    • Sgt Fon says:

      spread the word then at the firehouse, if they lie about their military record its more then likely that they have lied about other things as well. Read some of the stories on here, most times there is always something else that pops up after they have been exposed…

    • Aysel says:

      and it’s always something horribly worse than lying about a non-existent service record.

  16. SGT Fon says:

    looks like a New Tattoo! that’s really living the Lie right there! I guess he doubled down on a bunch of his falsehoods with tat master piece. too bad the order of the “Swift, Silent,Deadly” is messed up. it would be a nice tat on a real Recon Marine…

  17. Hack Stone says:

    To be fair, his military career spanned two fiscal years, so he has that going for him, which is nice.

  18. Tom Huxton says:

    Is that an arm tat or a chest tat? For that much pain, he could have finished basic.

  19. NotaLeg says:

    and there’s a motorcycle….

    • Sgt Fon says:

      there is almost always a motorcycle… some times a auto crashing airplane too but that’s another story…

    • rgr769 says:

      But it has to be Harley. No self-respecting poser would ever ride a Jap bike.

    • Dinotanker says:

      LOL! WHY is there always a motorcycle???

      I ride a motorcycle, however it has: University of Montana (GO GRIZ!), 2/1 Cavalry, and a couple of national park stickers on the trunk. Yes my bike has a trunk or Tail box if you prefer hanging off the luggage rack. I happen to lean toward UJM’s and eurotrash bikes (BMW’s and Moto Guzzi’s) therefore don’t quite fit into the poser role, there are NO patches on leather jacket (a couple of scuff marks but Im NOT talking about those :).

      I would ride a War Department Harley though if I could find one that wasn’t priced like it was made out of gold.

      Not sure what the biker thing with the stolen valor types is though. A bit confustigating to this NG/USAR no longer in soldier.

      But it does piss me off a touch, and god help one of these guys if they actually run into some real honest to go soldier/sailor/marine/airman/coastie types while theyre out riding.

      • rgr769 says:

        The posers love those leather vests that most Harley riders sport. They are perfect for displaying all their poser patches and bling. Leather is supposed to be protective, but not so much without sleeves. Posers have to have bare arms to show off those military themed tats.

  20. ChipNASA says:

    And apparently, if the photos came from Facebook, like a fart in church, POOF, they’re gone.
    Sanitize much?

  21. Cris says:

    Now that I remember, many of the girls that worked at Tobies or the Driftwood claimed their husbands were GySgts in Force Recon.

    • Carlton G. Long says:

      Reminds me of so many girls in high school… “my boyfriend is 22 and in the Marines”

      Or Anthony Michael Hall’s running gag about a girlfriend in “Canada”

    • Mick says:

      Don’t forget The Brown Bagger!

      (Now sadly defunct, however.)

      • Hack Stone says:

        Hack checked into ELMACO at 2nd Maintenance Battalion. His room mate was a Ground Radar Repairman. So, time for the spark chasers to do some of that Ooh Rah Marine Corps shit and head out for 05:00 PT. So Hack says “Your going to be late for PT.” Ground Radar Guy says “I’m on light Duty.” Okay, what the hell does Hack know, he is the FNG. So, that afternoon Hack heads back to the BEQ’s, and Ground Radar Guy is switching into a softball uniform. Apparently he is too injured to do Marine Corps PT, but not enough to keep him from the softball team from Tony’s Brown Bag.

      • Daniel Bernath’s Bunghole says:

        After a healthy expulsion of Wednesday night’s “Meatlloaf Madness”, my life support system sequestered in the Chesapeake jail is now known as the Brown Bugger…I take a bit of pride in that!

  22. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, look! A mustache with delusions of being Sam Elliott! How could you guys miss that?

    I want my two weeks’ worth of tax money that went into his paycheck refunded right now!

    I’ll bet he stuffs his shorts, too.

  23. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    JOE COX works COCK… and balls… taint… crusty hobo fartboxes…

  24. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Is he from Florida??????????????????????????

  25. Blue Bird says:

    Nope, hes from Livingston Texas. I worked with this piece of shit a while back. He claimed he helped Ken Stabler in a barfight and became his best friend! He also said he was a paulbearer at Lane Frost funeral and that Lane gave him his cowboy hat a week before he died! I always knew he was full of shit, but I never suspected his whole life was a lie. It takes a lowlife to lie about fighting for freedom. He will get all that he deserves. What a bitch.

    • Graybeard says:

      Dang, from Livingston? Does he live under the 59 overpass?

      Challenge him to swim the length of the lake and back to prove how bad he is. Maybe that’ll take care of his lies.

      • Blue Bird says:

        He’s liable to be living under the bridge after Polk County sees this info! Thanks to whoever dug this info up! It takes a real, true blue pile of donkey shit to fake a whole ‘career’ in the service. But, knowing the twerp, I can honestly say it doesn’t surprise me.

  26. aGrimm says:

    Swift, deadly, silent? His only swift, deadly and silent actions are his farts.

    His use of the S/S/D catch phrase comes from the Recon emblem, not the Force Recon emblem. Each Recon battalion (1st, 2nd, 3rd and Reserves) has its own emblem. Within each battalion, Force is a Company and each Force company has its own emblem. The Force emblems reflect the jump wings and frogman designations that the Force guys earned. The Force emblems do not have the ‘Swift, Silent, Deadly’ catch phrase.

    In my day (Vietnam), the Force Company was called Delta Company. We Alpha, Bravo and Charlie company guys did not have the jump or frogman training. I cannot imagine a Force guy using the Recon emblem over the Force emblem. There are damn few, estimated between 15K – 20K, who have served in all of Recon since its inception. Less than one-quarter of those served with Force companies – and many of these have gotten old and passed on. So be very, very skeptical of anyone claiming to have served in the Force Recon.

    Cox is a pathetic man-child and a stupid one at that.

    • IDC SARC says:

      They do have their own emblems, but Swift Silent and Deadly or Celer Silens Mortalis has become ubiquitous. Especially so with tattoos. Many of us opt to have a Jack tattoo without any words (myself included) but there are many that use the phrase as well. I’m talking current era vs Vietnam era, since Vietnam was considerably before my time. YMMV

      • aGrimm says:

        IDC: I like to keep the lines distinct as I have extra respect for the Recon guys that went the extra mile and got jump and diving qualified. Rappelling and Spie rigging was bad enough, but you ain’t catching me jumping out of an airplane at 10,000 feet. I like to dive but searching under bridges for explosives in crappy water is not appealing.

        Re Nam v current era, well we know what you young pups are like: 82 participation trophies (ribbons)and 134 tattoos for the same shit I did to get five ribbons and no tattoos. Take that you snot nosed kid – and get off my lawn. : )

        • rgr769 says:

          I only have two more ribbons than you and I was an ossifer. Funny how many participation trophy ribbons everyone sports nowadays, along with all those badges. In in our day, the “I was there” ribbons were limited to two, plus the coveted NDSM. When I was in SF, we weren’t allowed to get tattoos for operational reasons. NDM=no distinguishing marks. If you get captured, it is hard to convince the enemy you are not SF, with the effing DUI tattooed on your arm. I am sure Col. Rowe was glad he didn’t have that tattoo when he was captured by Charlie.

  27. Nicole says:

    Yall all are retarted none of this is true im his daughter and fuck all of you

  28. Sparks says:

    Well it seems he’s read his copy of “The Poser’s Handbook”. Bike, tattoo, Recon, the works.


  29. MrBill says:

    Weldon Cox? That sounds painful.

  30. Dennis - not chevy says:

    Wow, that was quick. I am amazed she found this; I’ve noticed the family usually doesn’t show up for a week or more.
    Is Nicole a regular around here; or, did she suspect this all along?
    Nicole shows why I don’t like posers. Every daughter should think her father is super-man and then finds out he isn’t when he does something accidently silly. To find out in this manner must be shattering.

  31. Green Thumb says:

    Another “Instant Hero” with a substandard discharge.


  32. H1 says:

    It’s Swift, Silent and Deadly there skippy.
    Not sumpin you’d forget after RIP and Amphib Recon School.

  33. RGR 4-78 says:

    Since he fucked with a Gold Star Mother, I make a motion to deploy the Wall of Insults.

    • ChipNASA says:

      If I had to throw out any more hints, my eyes would have rolled so hard, I’d have seen my own brain stem.


    • ChipNASA says:

      Alrighty then, we have covered the TAH Robert’s Rules requirements,

      Hey Joe “I’m now GOOGLE FAMOUS and I 💕 COCKS” Cox, open wide cause you’re taking it in EVERY hole.

      Wall of Insults®™
      FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
      DANGER CLOSE!!!!
      MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
      TAKE COVER!!!!!

      Joe “Well done” Weldon “I like sucking” Cox, was NOT Marine, HO-LEE SHIT, only had 19 days in the service?!?!? WTF???, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, needle dick bug fucker, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, toadstool slime-inhaling dickdrizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, Wooden dildo, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, ax wound drippings, when I saw this sperm receptacle, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, used toilet paper-sniffing meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, poofter, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter butt-slut sphincter goblin, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) Was NOT any of the following, NOT a USMC Gunnery Sergeant, NOT Force Recon, NEVER Served with SEALs, NEVER had ANYTHINIG to do with training nor Chris Kyle (that implies that he’s also a USMC Sniper), is a giant FAKE with a PHONY USMC Force Recon ‘Swift, Silent, Deadly’ tattoo, is a totally shitty sockpuppet, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed Swamp Donkey, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of Siberian and stack of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

      Here endith the lesson.

      19 days in the service?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  34. Daniel Bernath’s Bunghole says:

    Way to go, “Joke” Cox…you are a bigger asshole than even me!

  35. exET2 says:

    Can any dog be a service dog? Be awesome if I could take my two buddies everywhere I went.

    Not to distract or disrespect from those who actually require or benefit from them as dogs are great people.

  36. Nicole says:

    Can I just say i dont like being brought into this here or on fb I have not seen joe since I was 17 so leave me out of this please

  37. Ken.t. says:

    there must be more seals around the country then there is on the Canadian Ice Shelf. Every dam corner has half a dozen.

  38. Erika says:

    Listen Cyber Bullying Stops Now! I’m done! attacking people online all day really! Nikki is his daughter and my half sister. I should know. She is her own person and is not on his Facebook for a reason. Do not attack people you don’t know for no reason. Your IP addresses will be tracked and you will be cited for cyber bullying. I will print out this whole page and take it to the judge down the street right now. it will stop!

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      No one is getting bullied if they keep coming here. Learn the law before you start making legal threats.

    • IDC SARC says:

      “I will print out this whole page..”

      Print it out, roll it up real nice and tight, then shove it up your ass and take a steamer in poser boi Joe’s face so he can chew on the truth for all I care.

      oh, and post it on Youtube…mmmkay thnx bai

    • Graybeard says:

      Another Sockpuppet? Huh?

      OK, “Erika” – we are picking on Joe Weldon Cox for his lies.
      If you and “Nicole” are not sockpuppets, then you brought yourselves into this of your own free will.

      You are not scaring us with your threats of legal action. Too many in the past have tried that to no avail. In fact, some of our worse jerks are in jail themselves.

      So – print this out, shove it up lying Joe Cox’s nose (or other orifice of your choice), and set it on fire.

      Do you go on midnight fishing trips with lying Joe Cox, too? Just curious.

    • Frankie Cee says:

      Erika says: “Listen Cyber Bullying Stops Now! I’m done!” Really? Whew, we thought that you were just getting started. Glad ya chose to Stop Now, but some here might wish that you would keep on because many of us don’t really know how this “Cyber Bullying” thing is pulled off. Care you teach us, Erika? Oh, and Joe is too much a pussy to speak for himself, as he has shown.

  39. Nicole Contreras says:

    Look you right joe is a piece of shit but im not

  40. OWB says:


    Another idiot comes into our parlor, takes a dump then whines about the room stinking?

    Yeah, whatever. Takes your mess with you when you leave.

  41. Frankie Cee says:

    Nicole said, above: “im his daughter and fuck all of you”. That sounds to me, “The Cunning Linguist”, for all the world like an attempt at a pre-admission of guilt for a hidden desire that Nicole might be harboring. Because of cooties, and other germs, I don’t partcipate in trains. Count me out, no offense taken, no apology needed.

  42. Skippy says:

    Enjoy your Google Fame moron

  43. Someone who knew Mr Cox for years says:

    This man wouldn’t know the truth if it bite him you know where. On top of a stellar 11 years in the military, he befriended Lane Frost, hung out at Gillys all the time (I guess the military had a lenient leave policy). He holds the record in seal training for the highest jump into the ocean from a helicopter. He said he actually had his hands on Saddam Hussein and the order to assassinate was rescinded. He played on a football team called the gamblers who later became an NFL team…but he was into bullriding at that point, and also turned down a offer to play for the buffalo Bill’s. And on 9/11, he was sitting on a bridge going into New York when the towers were hit and a military personnel was getting license information, and gave him a weapon because his military training came up, and the person with the military told him that he knew he was a highly trained sniper, and they might need his help. A very full life for anyone, yes? Oh. His uncle is John Wayne, and Dan blocker. And oh…the reason he had to go in the military? He got into a fight with a Houston police officer who was out of uniform, and as the best kick fighter in all of Texas, he beat the cop almost to death and the judge ordered military or prison. He was also a police officer in Patton village, Abilene, and he was in the academy in Houston when he had a wreck that should have killed him, but he knew Red Duke, and he took over his case, and he made a miraculous recovery and was able to walk again after being told he never would. A very full, amazing life!! Wish mine was even a bit this exciting!!

    • Green Thumb says:


      This clown is straight up “Phildosical”!

      The False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) had better watch his “Six” as this clown is picking up speed to be the next insert into the “Phildo Pages”.

  44. Green Thumb says:

    This loser is trying hard for the Sam Elliot look.

    He could be the next “Queef” on In-the-Boot Hill.

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