Timothy Key; phony SEAL

| October 30, 2017 | 38 Comments

Our Partners at Military Phonies share their work on Timothy Dale Todd Key with us. Of course, he claims to be a Navy SEAL;

When he was confronted with his lies, he half-ass copped to it;

Maybe the sight of his DD214 will push him along towards self-realization;

He was an Aviation Ordinaceman aboard USS America – of the America carrier group in the Persian Gulf during Desert Storm. I’m sure he was busy during the weeks that they provided air support to coalition forces, but not SEAL busy.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (38)

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  1. Combat Historian says:

    I used to think that there were 20,000 phonies for every genuine SEAL; I think the actual number is closer to 80,000 phonies per genuine SEAL. I stand corrected; my bad…

  2. Ex-PH2 says:

    Blithering idiot personified.

  3. Graybeard says:

    Phony SEALs are everywhere, it seems.

    The only phony Green Beret so far this week is about as queer as a $3 bill. These SEALs are sad sad sad.

  4. jim h says:

    what? no undress whites? no 937 combat ribbons? no thinly referenced pseudo-classified-in-real-life-but-fully-open-source-on-facebook war stories?


  5. Mick says:

    Once again, an embellishing poser assclown takes a massive, reeking dump all over his own perfectly honorable service. Why can’t reality ever be good enough for these idiots?

    And that SEAL Team Three cup with ‘Tim “Doc” Key’ on it. Is he also claiming that he was a Corpsman? If so, IDC SARC, HMCS(FMF), HMC(Ret), and our other Corpsman brethren might have something to say about that.

  6. 1610desig says:

    That smirk…that hormone-deficient mustache attempt….that high and loose….all scream “weak!” Dude, you were a sailor in the mightiest Navy on the planet and steamed during time of war. You were on an arduous deployment that rained overwhelming fire and steel upon our adversaries…repent cleanly, straighten your sorry ass out and make something of your life…I hate to see any vet, particularly a war vet, demean themself so…

  7. Skippy says:

    We have a twofer this Monday of wannabe seals

    😂. 😀. 🤣. 😅. 😆. 😜.

  8. Perry Gaskill says:

    Pro Tip: Some people should not take selfies. Especially those who look like close kin to Zippy…

  9. RM3(SS) says:

    Ho hum. Another day, another phony SEAL. This slacker needs to up his game, where’s the dog, vest and motorcycle? No tattoos? Weak MF’er.

  10. Cris says:

    Didn’t I see someone else post that underwater photo claiming to be one of them? Must be 200 folks out there claiming to be one of these 6 individuals.
    Nobody claims they’re in the photo but INSIDE the sub at the time, lol.

  11. Cornholio says:

    I knew I saw that guy before:


  12. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    Right out of the POSer playbook. Take a stock photo of (fill in any elite warrior title), and claim to be shown in said photo.

    Maybe a bubble-head can help me out, but that looks like a SSGN boat which didn’t come on line until 2006 or so which is way after his EAOS.

    Dude was a member of the “Ordie Mafia” during ODS, but that wasn’t good enough for the “Doc”. How did he get that nickname? Checking for hernias in the After Fan Room?

    Enjoy the Google fame, asshole!

  13. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Did he do that haircut himself with a razor and bowl form the one dollar store or did he go to the pet salon on half-off day? Great way to shit on yourself, your name and reputation as well as your family, shit-for-brains!

  14. O-4E says:

    “Or even army…”


  15. E4 Mafia For Life. says:

    In my alchemy days (1910 – 1940) I studied Phrenology as a second major to Criminal Just Us. Notice the acute angle in the iambic pentameter region of the frontal lobe of this specimen. I recommend trepanation with a slow carbide tipped step drill.

  16. Jeff lph 3 1963-1966 says:

    Recovering from deviated septum surgery this morning so l will not go through my you know what spiel so the KEY to this is not to B S anyone on what you are not.

  17. Paul Dragos says:

    He was in 4 years and got out as an E-3? He made AOAN when he got out of ‘A’ school. He did not at least make E-4? I was in the Navy for 3 years in the 60’s, and got out as an AO2(E-5). He either didn’t care, or he was a real dud. Of course with this sorry ass seal story, you can tell he’s no ball of fire.

  18. OldManchu says:

    Ball hugger!

  19. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    If he was a Superhero he would be Super Stupido!

  20. RetiredDevilDoc8404 says:

    He ain’t no Corpsman!! That rectal thermometer licking, colostomy sucking specimen of GNID isn’t fit to shine a real Doc’s boondockers, let alone a SEAL Doc’s. People like Mr. Rectal Cranial Imapaction give me a bad case of rectalopticalitis…

  21. Green Thumb says:


    I net he has the “key” to Phildo’s lockbox….

  22. hoofhearted says:

    hey…this assclown was on the America while i was on the Sara for Desert Shield/Storm.

    too bad ‘AOAN 90-93’ doesn’t equal ‘SEAL anytime’!

    IYAOYAS = If Your An Ordie, Your Asvab Sucks!

    hope he sucked scullery water on the messdecks for 90 days while the America was dropping ordy…because that may be why he is ‘puffing chest’ nowadays to make up for it.

    we on the Super Sara & TR know how it went. pencilwhip THAT in ur medical record you fucking slacker. shudda got ur pins…wussie.

  23. SARC88 says:

    He’s not even in the same playing field as NSW with that fucked up hair, let alone “Doc” level. You’re not even trying, bro – come back when you’ve learned the ways of hair product!

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