Clayton Douglas; phony Vietnam Veteran

| December 4, 2017 | 95 Comments

This fellow Clayton Douglas is a Truther who is a huge conspiracy theorist. You can find his podcasts on YouTube if you want.

He describes his time in the military in vague terms. “I enlisted for Vietnam”. “I enlisted for Special Forces training”. You can hear him say it at 3:20 in this video.

By the way, back in the day, you couldn’t enlist for Special Forces. A soldier had to be an E-5 Sergeant and 21-years-old to volunteer for a special forces assignment. There were no privates getting an enlistment contract for special forces in the early 60s.

Actually, he did enlist – a year before we had combat troops in Vietnam, and he was an Initial Entry Drop – he spent three months in the Army and he was on the street a year before Marines landed on the shores of Vietnam – the Vietnam Service Medal only recognizes service in Vietnam after July 3, 1965 and he was back on the Block on June 1, 1964.

He won’t say it, so I will; Clayton Douglas is not a Vietnam Veteran. So after someone knocks that cap off his head, they can clip that cootie-infested pigtail, too.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (95)

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  1. Combat Historian says:

    Another loser who couldn’t complete basic training…

  2. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    A number of years ago, When we had Saturday breakfast at a coffee shop, one of the members invited his friend to dine with us. The guy sits down and I see he is wearing an Air force base ball cap that had the Vietnam embroided ribbon on it. I asked him what year that he was over there. He said that he did serve in the AF but did not go to VietNam. That was the last time he wore that cap when he was with us.

    • Sj says:

      I’ve mentioned here before my Coastie neighbor who did that too until I had a come to Jesus with him. Hell, he barely left the county much less CONUS. Not that many Coasties in the Viet of the Nam.

  3. Anonymous says:

    “Uh, I was with the Green Berets. Special Unit Battalions, Commando Airborne Tactics, Specialist Tactics, Unit Battalion. It was real hush hush. I was Agent Orange. That was my name. Agent Orange. Agent Orange, that was me.” –Eddie Murphy, Trading Places

  4. 26Limabeans says:

    “I enlisted for Vietnam”.

    I enlisted for America.

  5. USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

    He sorta sounds like Karl Childers… of “Slingblade” fame.

    Except Karl is probably more intelligent than this fucktard.

  6. A Proud Infidel®™ says:


  7. Wilted Willy says:

    Hey guys, at least he didn’t claim to be a SEAL? It is already Monday afternoon and we haven’t seen our first phony SEAL yet this week? What happened Jonn, have all the Tupperware SEAL’s gone underground??

  8. thebesig says:

    I wonder if he’s related to this guy:

  9. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Clayton Douglas was a Basic Training washout back when one really had to be a bed wetting limp dick to be kicked out thus I make an official motion for Clayton Douglas to receive The Official TAH Wall of Insults®™.

    • Atkron says:

      I’ll second that motion.

      • ChipNASA says:

        Boy you guys are chompin’ at the bit today.
        Do we have an “AYE” vote?

        • Claw says:

          Aye, Aye.

          And I say that just to piss Cynthia off.

          C’mon Cynthia. Don’t do your replies in the Face Book section.We need some Sock Puppet action down here in the regular comments.

          • ChipNASA says:

            And Boom.

            Hey “Cynthia”, drag your dead flabby ass out here and take it like a man….LOLOLOLOLO

            Wall of Insults®™
            (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!
            Clayton “Cynthia” Douglas NOT a Vietnam Veteran, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, Poster-child for abortion, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection, Klootviool, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion.Sharmouta, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, wait of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON?? Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as anSBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy poanther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, analconda, chodeyodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) Basic Training washout, NOT Special Forces, more like SPECIAL FECES, if you read this “Cynthia” I hope this hurts as much as the sand in your vagina, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tappingglory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of Siberian and stack of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Can I get an AMEN?!
            (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
            Here endith the lesson.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I’d have to ask how come he washed out so quickly? He done got hisseff a li’l ol’ sharpshooter’s badge, but ended up on the street. If he was a draftee (1950 to 1973), he had to really step on his own crank to be shown the door. Therefore, it is justifiable to issue the Wall of Insults.

      I so second the motion, and may the Dogs of War take a wee on both of his pants legs (while someone has a camera).

      • Claw says:

        Ex, he wasn’t a Draftee. His Serial Number has a RA (Regular Army) as the first two digits.

        If he was a Draftee, the digits would start with US.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Glad to know that. Thank you, Claw!

        I just wondered about that. I think my brother got his draft notice in 1970 and went to Fort Dix, NJ, because I had to drag – er, drive. Drive! – his girlfriend and her two besties out there in 1971 and then went to visit a friend of mine in Virginia to go foxhunting. But he only had one year of AD, and then went into the reserves.

  10. 1610desig says:

    But he does wear his ballcap at a jaunty man of the world angle…seems however he’s just a trailer park “non” vivant

  11. Graybeard says:

    Y’all just need to give poor Clayton Douglas a break. Dude, this was the 60’s. With all the drugs and free love it’s hard to remember anything from the 60’s.

    [do I really need to tag this?]

  12. Perry Gaskill says:

    It’s hard to imagine anybody listening to the entire two hours of Clayton Douglas, and… his…real…slow… webcam…delivery, unless there’s a proscribed dose of Thorazine involved…

  13. Claw says:

    Sock Puppet Alert!! (from Cynthia) in the Face Book comments section.

    Bring it on! We love Sock Puppets.

  14. just some feller says:

    Perhaps Ex-PH2 or some other Shakespearian/Elizabethan scholar can fix this up:

    He that never served shall live this day, and see old age,
    Will ever on the eve of Veterans Day sneak a feast at Denny’s,
    And say “To-morrow is Veterans’ Day.”
    Then will he strip his sleeve and show his tattoos and his scars,
    from falling off his motorcycle,
    and say “These wounds I had from Viet of the Nam.”
    Old veterans seldom speak; yet all heroics shall be concoctèd,
    And this poser shall remember, with gross advantages,
    What feats he did not do that day. Then shall true names,
    Familiar in his mouth as household words—
    POW, LTC Moore and Ia Drang,
    CIA and sniper, Green Beret and Navy SEAL —
    Be in their flowing cups wrongly rememb’red.
    This story shall the poser teach his son;
    And Veterans Day shall ne’er go by,
    From this day to the ending of the world,
    But this poser’s feats shall be false rememberèd-
    None few, not enough few, that band of buggerers;
    For he to-day that supports lies with him
    Shall ne’er my brother be; for he is e’er so vile,
    This day shall demean his condition;
    Posers in America now a-bed
    Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not really there,
    And hold their manhoods cheap while others speak
    That joined honorably with us upon the field that day.

  15. USAF E-5 says:

    I remember my older brother’s two tours in Viet Nam. Anyone else use the MARS system to call loved ones in the combat zone? I remember my old man knew some trouble was going down, and used his HAM connections to get it so my Mom could talk to him. He hadn’t sent a letter or call for 2 months, and he was pretty punctual. Still remember talking to him using “over” and “out”, or when he was home between tours and headed back, thought he was going to be late for flight back from O’Hare. Mom calls them, “you will hold that plane!” and they did. Patriotic back then. Hate to think what they’d do today.

  16. Sj says:

    I ran the MARS station in the 3/82nd and then ran calls from Korea to CONUS. Lots of great and sad things happened in those calls. “Honey, It is important that I tell you ….” Band drops and the call is gone. Have to wait for APO mail…around 3 weeks each way.

    • 3/17 Air Cav says:

      SJ………….our MARS station at Phu Loi was hit by a rocket attack just as we cleared the flight strip. The guy running it never knew what hit him! Typical Vietnam story. Wrong place at the wrong time!

      • Sj says:

        A MARS “station” in the Viet of the Nam, at least out in the boondocks of the Au Shau Valley, was a Collins KWM-2 High Frequency (HF) radio in a small sandbagged tent. If you were lucky, you had an amplifier. HF frequency propagation was a science and iffy thing. Some days the only frequency bands that would work were at 0200 and would only last for a few hours. Other times it was 1000. There was no TO&E slot for a MARS operator or equipment…BG Bolling sent me to Saigon to “procure” our equipment. Glad CID wasn’t around. It was an additional duty from Signal guys…I want to say O5C’s, but I could be wrong. I as an Signal officer made it a point to know the systems so I and the off shift O5C’s would fire up the Collins when the bands were open. Troopers would line up outside the tent. Troopers from rifle BNs on R&R had first in line. In most cases we would put out a “CQ” and HAM’s in CONUS would reply and we would start running calls as fast as we could while the band stayed up. These calls were often uplifting and often very depressing.

        Later while I was in Korea, and Norfolk I, as a HAM, completed calls from the other end.

    • Claw says:

      I’ll just chime in here so the three of us can have a little mini reunion by computer message.

      Never got anywhere close to having MARS capabilities to talk to anybody back home in Indiana while I was over there.

      Did however send back and forth recorded cassette tapes a couple of times to the family. Mom was extremely happy to hear my voice after seeing on the TV news that report of the 101st Chinook crash on 28 Nov 71 that took 33 lives. Especially after I told her that a Chinook wasn’t the kind of helicopter I was flying around in over there.

    • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

      Sj, I used to monitor MARS on RTTY 45 baud, 170 shift or 75 baud 850 shift if I remember on my Universal M-8000 Comm terminal which were made in Florida. The guy stopped making them and I heard that the USAF bought them up to use on certain Aircraft. Some where over the years, MARS switched over to the ALE mode I believe. Any truth behind that???

  17. Cris says:

    Still used it on ship when we deployed to Somalia in 93/94. We had five minutes and it was 0130 when I got to talk with the wife.
    In contrast, 2004 on the roof of our building in Ramadi talking with my folks on a sat-phone when we started getting mortared. Still remember telling my mom how badly the cars backfired in Iraq when she asked what the noise was.

  18. thebesig says:

    Cynthia Havins: Who the hell are you Scott Hughes.

    Scott Hughes it is a real deal veteran, unlike Clayton Douglas, the phony Vietnam Veteran. He, along with the rest of us, enjoy hammering people like Clayton Douglas, the phony Vietnam Veteran, Google hit.

    Cynthia Havins: Before you print your hate filled dribble you should read to what Clay ACTUALLY SAID, you idiot.

    Before you demand that anybody read something before they print something out, you should read the above article to include who the author of said article is. If you did, you’d notice that Jonn Lilyea authored this article on Clayton Douglas, phony Vietnam Veteran, Google hit.

    Cynthia Havins: Where did he say he was in Vietnam?

    In the linked video:

    “You can hear him say it at 3:20 in this video.” — Jonn Lilyea

    Cynthia Havins: He said he enlisted FOR Vietnam. He did not say he was IN Vietnam, now does he?

    He can’t even say that he enlisted for Vietnam when his time in service happened before Vietnam. He is making a statement after the fact. Others have witnessed him claim that he was a Vietnam Veteran.

    Cynthia Havins: And as for knocking the cap off his head. He would SQUASH ANYONE who tried!

    If someone knocks his cap off of his head, the only reaction that Clayton Douglas would give is fear, followed by him waddling off. I doubt that he would squash anybody that tried to knock his cap from his head. However, your “Internet tough guy/gal” stance is noted.

    Cynthia Havins: So, you idiot, you should go back to elementary school (which was probably the highest grade you ever reached) and learn how to read

    You need to do is you preach, your response is not related to the article posted above, and based on Jonn and others’ observations here, your understanding of what you read regarding the article/response appears off target.

    Cynthia Havins: before someone knock YOU flat!

    With laughter as they listen to Clayton Douglas make his phony Vietnam Veteran claim, as well as make his other claims.

  19. Green Thumb says:


    Ain’t no phony like an old phony!

  20. Mike Murley says:

    You could enlist for SF during the late 60s early 70s. The original SF babies.

  21. Just An Old Dog says:

    There is a link somewheres to a radio show he did.
    If you can get through all of the bullshit stories about what a child genius he was, he says he got booted for meningitis or some shit and was put out on the street by the Army when he was 17.
    I could barely listen to his bullshit.
    He is a raging Conspiracy theorist and a fucking anti-Semite to the max. His face book fans comment with anti Jewish rhetoric and he eats that shit up.
    I am a small percent Jewish by blood only and this pig pisses me off.

  22. thebesig says:

    For someone that’s reported to be capable of knocking someone flat or squashing them, Clayton Doublas, phony Vietnam Veteran, phony veteran, Google hit, is sure afraid to come down to the comments section and show his “toughness”. 🙄

  23. MarDet says:

    Hey Clayton Douglas…’re a fuckin liar you piece of shit!!!

  24. Elli Evans says:

    My brother in law gave me a Secret Service hat from work and I wear it all the time, but that doesn’t mean I am claiming to be in the Secret Service.

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