Coming Soon to Grocery Stores Near You!

| January 16, 2018 | 52 Comments

What new product am I talking about? Well, here ya go – it’s called “Unicorn Fruit Loops”:



No, I’m not joking – I’m serious.

It’s already available in the UK. Supposedly it will be available in the US in March.

I’d guess it will be quite popular with college students and recent grads – at least, until reality smacks them “upside the head” – as well as among       Leftists       Socialists        Progressives in general. I’d also guess it will be especially popular in Greenwich Village and the Castro District.

No word on whether it comes with “mini-Skittles” mixed in the cereal, though. (smile)

Category: Pointless blather, Who knows

Comments (52)

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  1. In The Mailbox: 01.16.18 : The Other McCain | January 16, 2018
  1. Cowpill says:

    My blood sugar went up, and my manliness down just looking at the picture.

  2. Claymore says:

    An entire generation encapsulated in one product. Nice.

    • Hondo says:

      Trigglypuff could not be reached for comment. But my guess is she’ll like the product.

      (Warning: eye bleach may be required after viewing link.)

      • HMC Ret says:

        I had no idea something such as that could exist and actually be proud of themselves and attempt to project their lifestyle on others. There is not enough eye bleach in the world … Anyone want to be in her company?
        Alex, I’ll take not only no but hell no for everything I have.

  3. Does it have wings too?

    Unfortunately, it’s going to sell very well. Too many “special snowflakes”.

  4. NHSparky says:

    I don’t see why people would buy this.

    Besides, weren’t Tide Pods part of this complete nutritious breakfast?

  5. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    My four year old grand daughter will probably like these because it has a pretty unicorn on the front…but she’s already tougher than a lot of these so called young men (and women)…

    When we get to the point where we think there are more than two genders nothing shocks me anymore.

    I find it odd that were I to determine that I was Van Gogh and remove one of my ears I would be put into at least a 30-90 day protective hold….but if I decide I’m actually Joann and lop off my dick I will be celebrated for my diversity….

    There is something uniquely wrong with a society that has devolved into that line of thinking.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      “When we get to the point where we think there are more than two genders nothing shocks me anymore.”

      IMHO if I had a dollar for every true gender out there, I’d have $2 and a fistful of counterfeits!

  6. Sapper3307 says:

    When I read “magic cupcakes” on the box I thought it was Bernastys prison shower nickname.

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    I do not know whether to laugh at the comments or bank my head on my steel front door, but this is really funny, if you take it from my perspective.

    It’s a perfect marketing ploy. It embraces the virtue signaling crowd who have grown up (physically only) thinking junk food is vegan and don’t like climate change because they have to wear winter clothing. Reality is a harsh mistress for them. They cling to an amorphous phrase like climate change and commit property damage in its name. They don’t believe they’ll reach ‘old age’ (whatever that is) so they don’t plan to plan for it.

    If it weren’t in this world and in the news, I would call it an episode of the Twilight Zone, but it’s here and it’s unfortunately real. Take a butterfly net with you when you run errands, just on the off chance that you might run into them.

    This stuff is perfect for them.

  8. Claw says:

    New breakfast item, soon to be available at Air Force Mess Halls worldwide, exclusively for F-52 crews?/s

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I wonder if they’ll have them out in the boonies in US Army Field Unit Kitchens (FUKs)? You have no idea how much fun it is to send a fresh Boot or Cherry 2LT looking for the location of a unit’s FUK!

  9. Grunt says:

    Me? I can’t wait. I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and my wife loves unicorns, so I’ll be first in line to trade my dollars for this box of pink sugary deliciousness.

    It’s just cereal. Not everything is a political statement 🙄

  10. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Send a case to LARS TAYLOR, the social justice warrior/friend of OWS and member of the Free Shit Army! I bet he’d snarf them down with his free trade, triple shot soy no whip latte!

  11. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    It looks like Froot Loops®™, just with different artificial colors and likely flavors as well. Eliminate corn meal and sugar and you’ve likely gotten rid of about 40% of the volume. Regardless, they’ll fit right in. What’s next, Snowflakes®™ Breakfast Cereal? Then every Millenial eating them would be committing cannibalism!

  12. Twist says:

    If my daughter sees this in the store she will want it. If I cave and buy it for her I will have to hand over my man card along with my cash at the register.

    • RM3(SS) says:

      Well since you’re in there and already giving up your man card Twist, grab me a couple boxes for my daughter too. 🙂

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I propose that any Man buying it for his Daughter or Granddaughter be allowed to have his Man card intact, but any Adult Human Male caught buying and/or it for himself should IMMEDIATELY have his Man Card revoked! (I’ve done that to a Supply Sergeant I caught jamming on Justin Beiber.)

  13. Green Thumb says:

    I wonder if All-Points Logistics has the logistical contract on this item?

  14. AW1Ed says:

    Aren’t ya a wee bit auld ta be believin’ in Unicorns now, laddie?


  15. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I’m SURE it will be the preferred cereal of this crowd:

  16. HMC Ret says:

    In this nation’s relatively short history, we’ve gone from Minutemen to Doughboys to the Greatest Generation to the men and women of Vietnam to today’s crop of men and women in uniform to … ? This? A group of people seemingly congratulating a wallflower on his/her/its ability to open a can of beans? Heaven forbid they should be baffled by a John Wayne (P38).
    I don’t know how this group crept up on us, where the hell they came from. Yes, but they are quick to point out the defects of the country b/c, well, they have all the answers and others are simply DOING STUFF THE WRONG WAY. I don’t even know what to call this group? Millennials? Gen X? Someone give me a breakdown. Is there an exclusive group that lives in mommy’s basement or maybe there are crossover groups. IDK
    WTF Happened To Us? What’s next? Mastering shoelaces?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I knew how to use a can opener when I was 5. I find it strange that these idjits can’t perform such a simple task.

      Yeah, it makes all of us better than them. Think about that for a moment.

      This is what happens when Mommy does everything for you. I read some place that the generation in the video has the minds of 15-year-olds. I think that was an over-estimation.

  17. Mike W. says:

    They are ALL the same flavor, regardless of color.
    DAMM YOU TRUMP ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
    (Fruit Loops are anyway…..)

  18. Docduracoat says:

    My 10 year old daughter will like these, just like she likes Fruit Loops and Count Chocula
    We only let her actually eat these chemical, sugar and food coloring products on weekends
    Weekdays is something with actual nutrition in it

  19. Frank says:

    I’m genuinely shocked, dismayed and disappointed by TaH today.
    All the Death and misery in the world today and not one so-called poster has mentioned eating this sugary delight with colored milk. Fail.
    Please, think of The Children and get some pink milk or maybe chocolate milk for these unicorns.

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