Cris Hoppes; phony Green Beret

| January 24, 2018 | 83 Comments

Our partners at Guardians of the Green Beret share their work on this Cris Hoppes fellow. He claims that he was a special forces soldier, and yes, there’s a tattoo;

GGB helpfully runs down his lies;


CIB (Combat Infantry Badge) FALSE

Special Forces Crest FALSE

EIB Earned

Canadian Jump Wings Earned

Master Parachutist Badge FALSE

Expert Medical Badge Earned

Are the wings and 82nd patch military issue? We don’t believe so.

Jungle expert FALSE

Army Commendation Medal FALSE

Good Conduct w/ Oak Leaf Cluster (We don’t see an Oak Leaf in records)

National Defense Service Medal FALSE

Humanitarian Service Earned

NCO Professional Development Earned

Army Service Ribbon Earned

Overseas Service ribbon FALSE

2 rung bolo badge Earned Pistol and M-16

18th ABN Corps Recondo FALSE

Special Forces Patch FALSE Cris Hoppes, fake Green Beret never spent a single day in an SF unit.

And, the records;

I guess that Cris doesn’t think that there’s enough to be proud of with an assignment to those Devils in Baggy Pants – the 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment. The Expert Infantryman Badge is harder to earn than the CIB. But, I guess that’s not enough for some people.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (83)

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  1. Wilted Willy says:

    Take a perfectly honorable record and shit all over it! Way to go there dumbass!

  2. Sj says:

    Is this the first poser to claim an unearned NDSM?

    • thebesig says:

      But, he earned the Army Service Ribbon! Sheesh, does he realize that not everybody that joins the military gets one of those? 🙄

    • 2/17 Air Cav says:

      I believe so. As coveted as the NDSM is, you would think more fakers would claim it.

      • 2/17 Air Cav says:

        But does he have a Cold War certificate?

        • AnotherPat says:


          He’s another insecure “Look at Me!” dude with a Personality Disorder that will most likely bring shame to his family (wonder if we will see anyone come here to defend him…)

          Hope you have FULLY recovered, 2/17 Air Cav from that nasty Flu.


          • 2/17 Air Cav says:

            Thanks for asking. I got over the flu, felt good for 1.5 days, and then all hell broke loose. I am on the mend. I hate meds of any sort, but I pretty much cleaned out the CVS cold and flu aisle. And then there’s the antibiotic. I thought it was a suppository the damn thing was so big. And you? All better?

            • AnotherPat says:

              Thank goodness you are feeling better. Still laughing about the suppository..😉 Feel alot better now (thank you for asking) and am grateful family members did not catch it from me. It paid wearing the mouth mask as well as constantly washing my hands from spreading it to them. Don’t wish the flu on anyone!

        • E4 Mafia For Life. says:

          He tested PTSD positive from fighting in The Cold War.

      • Dinotanker says:

        Hells Bells, I don’t even know if I rate the coveted NDSM, when I went to basic and AIT n 1979, we were issued the Rainbow Ribbon upon completion. I was in the USAR during Desert Shield/Storm and didn’t go over to the toasty place. I seem to remember there being something about being able to wear the NDSM, but never saw it on orders…so there ya go, NO NDSM FOR ME!

        As far as the Cold War Certificate…more paperwork…ugh.

    • Claw says:

      Well, we do know of at least two SEACs that claim an unearned Bronze Service Star to the NDSM, so this embellisher Hoppes is simply following the guidelines set forward by photographic example./smile

      • AnotherPat says:

        Claw: Yep…you nailed it. Especially the First SEAC. He and Cayton are a disgrace to our US Army.

        The First SEAC and his sidekick, Killer: Both of them are Cowards, lack integrity and don’t have the Gonads to fess up to their lies. And they are both are still “mentoring” others. Disgusting.

        • Claw says:

          Have been diligently performing a once a week check on the MHMR Tarrant County website and the Killer is still being listed as the Veterans Legal Advice Counselor, so the Shit Train continues to roll on.

        • Claw says:

          I would also be remiss by not mentioning that Spec9 Flournoy (You remember her, right? Old CSM Carrot Top with the 50 pound rag mop on the back of her head) was also spotted wearing two Bronze Service Stars on the NDSM a little under two years ago.

          She’s 51 years old now and the Vietnam eligibility period ended 43 years, so do the math.

          I wonder if she’s retired by now?

          Oh, wait, maybe she’s in the running to be the 4th SEAC./smile

          • AnotherPat says:

            Who could forget ole CSM Carrot Top? 😉

            Claw, who knows…SP8 Moak could be up and running to be the next SEAC..gotta keep the NDSM Vietnam Era Star (I mean Gainey Cup) Cycle rolling…

            Thanks for keeping track of Killer..👍😊

  3. Ret_25X says:

    EIB and EFMB and he has to make things up?

    Has to be the drugs…

  4. jim h says:

    an OLC on a GCM? dafuq?

    I don’t understand this one at all. I mean, he’s got stuff I’d say is pretty cool; Canadian jumper, EIB *and* EFMB. I mean, dude’s got some good skills. why jack it all up with the false trash?

    but on another note, it’s nice to not see a faker with tons of gongs banging around on his chest. no Silver Stars, DSCs, multiple PHs, etc.

  5. Sapper3307 says:

    The name tape and U.S Army on his BDU top are the crape ones that are sewn on in basic training.

    • Claw says:

      I’m sensing a little bit of NJP action there at the end of his six years active duty to have ended up being discharged as a SP4.

      Could be wrong, though.

      • 2/17 Air Cav says:

        SP4 over? Yeah, something is amiss.

      • MrBill says:

        I’ll bet you’re right. His assignments suggest pretty strongly that he’d advanced beyond E-4.

      • Martinjmpr says:

        I was trying to figure out how a Sp/4 got into BNCOC. Not sure what the rules were in the early 80’s.

        When I went through BNCOC in 1993 you had to be an E-5 and promotable to E-6, meaning you’d already been boarded and recommended by your CoC.

        I’d heard stories of squared away Sp/4’s being allowed to go to BNCOC because their MOS was so overstrength that it was almost impossible to get promoted – points at 998 each month. This was mostly in the Signal Corps.

        Still, the mere fact that he was able to qualify for both the EIB and the EFMB is impressive – I don’t know very many soldiers outside of SF who are qualified to wear both.

        • William Milewski says:

          I went to BNCOC/CA in 1978 as a E-4, was lateraled from Spec 4 to Corporal and was filling a E-6 squad leader position to do so. 11B E-5 was a bitch to get then always in the 900’s

      • E4 Mafia For Life. says:

        You guys are all wrong. The E4 Mafia demoted him from E6 for misbehavior before an enema.
        We have long arms to keep us from stepping on our dicks.
        We can delete his DD-214. Just submit the request on Form 0…

  6. Combat Historian says:

    For douchebags like Cris Hoppes, what they actually earned was NEVER ENOUGH, and they have to make shit up to brag about it to the world!!!…Dumbass (sigh)….

  7. Jay says:

    Dude did more cool shit in 5 years than I did in my legit 20. Shame…..

  8. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    I love this comment at GGB from a very proud Dad about his son: “Graduation day as a Green Beret, he was my proof that an average good man can raise a great man.”

    As for clown with the mean, 1-yard stare, he wanted the spotlight and now he’s got it. Congrats!

  9. Doc Savage says:

    As someone that has the EFMB, and has served as a grader for the first aid portion of the EIB, I do NOT understand why someone that earned BOTH has to just shit all over his hard work with such BS…you were already one high speed warrior.

  10. OldManchu says:

    Go Army! Thanks for scoring for Army Cris Hoppes. The SEALS are still leading for 2018 but every score counts.

  11. Ex-PH2 says:


    Looks like his self-esteem jar is six inches short of a 1-foot ruler. Pound him.

  12. 1610desig says:

    As usual of most posers he’s too stupid and/or insecure and/or in need of attention to know that real vets see that accumulation of bling, tats, window graffiti, social media boasts and goofy hats and immediately suspect that their actual accomplishments are in inverse proportion….and then add the motorcycle shit…he may have serious health issues but thinking he can only handle a 125cc at most….he’s compensating for some serious underachievements in his life and ironically, his genuine military service wasn’t one of them..
    And now off to my gym where for some reason more than a few codgers seem compelled to wear those outsized RETIRED “name that service” hats or “name that conflict” VETERAN, often lavishly festooned with ornamentation….I refuse to engage because from limited unfortunate experience find they will talk me to death about themselves, and I can easily imagine I’m getting a heavy dose of BS…sad and disappointing…seems about the only thing they’re really motivated to do at the gym is exercise their jaw muscles

    • Claw says:

      Not just at the gym, but at Wally World too.

      There while you’re cruising through the pet food aisle, they’ll come up to you in their shopping scooter and block your avenue of escape and the very first words out of their mouth is “You know, I was shot five times.”

      And all because you have a tiny little 5/8″ 101 Airborne pin on your Cubbies hat./smile

      • Cris says:

        Nothing wrong with being proud of one’s service. Like you, I keep it small and unassuming. I’ve seen some back windows on trucks where I wonder if the driver can even see out of it with all the decals plastered on it. I have a small USMC decal on the lower left and feel it says it all. I do like to wear once in a while my:

        Mareen (crossed out0
        Morine (crossed out)
        Maurene (crossed out)

      • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

        Claw, I wear my OKIE 3 ball cap, and every cruise I go on, guys come out of the wood work that are vets from different eras of Mil. service. Number of them wear hats. Some of the cruise ships even have the Vets get together in one of the lounges for B.Sing about their service time. If I wear one of my FD caps or tee shirts, there are always Paid or Volly,retired to stop and talk with. Same thing if I attend a Doo Wopp show.

      • swormy says:

        Thats true about WalMart. You wouldn’t believe the number of retired CSMs and 1Sgs I run into that stock shelves at Wally World when they see me in uniform. They wouldn’t be telling a fib…would they?

    • Cris says:

      Believe it or not, I have a collection of hats that say “USMC” or “Marines” that folks have bought me, but, like the ton of Harley shirts I’ve received as gifts, they’re all in a drawer or storage tub.

  13. AnotherPat says:

    His favotite quote:

    Matthew 6:34

    “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

    *Sigh*…And again, another Phony who hides behind Bibical Scriptures.

  14. Skyjumper says:

    From his Facebook page:

    “U.S.Army Special Forces
    To Find Us, You Must Be Good;
    To Catch Us, You Must Be Fast;
    To Beat Us, You Must Be Kidding….”

    Yeah, well Cris Hoppes, Special Forces/Master Blaster/Jungle Expert/Recondo/CIB/AR COM posing faker piece of Scheiße, there are probably more than a few people here that would like to severely beat you about the head & shoulders.

    Efin’ rag muffin!

  15. SSG Kane says:

    I don’t get it anymore. I used to defend these guys in my head as a simple thought exercise, trying to see exactly what mental gymnastics I had to go through to get this shit to make sense.

    But I just can’t anymore.

    At our VFW we had an “old hand”, real bad ass. Real quite too. Never talked shit, very professional and matter of fact. Hell he was the last guy our new chapter president vetted, that’s how sure we were this guy wasn’t talking shit.

    So of course he was, and much like this guy it was stupid shit he was lying about. For example, he claimed he earned his CIB in Panama (just cause). Really he earned it in Grenada (urgent fury). Claims he was a medic with the 12 special forces group, he was engineer with the 19th special forces. Claims he did 20 and retired as an E-7. Reality, did 12, was medically retired and got out as an E-6.

  16. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Are you still in the Hoppes gun cleaning equipment business?? If you are, then just stick to it.

  17. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    ANOTHER embellisher that fornicated Fido… and loves living the lie.

    You’re GOOGLE famous, CRIS HOPPES!


  18. Cris says:

    Holy crap! I just noticed! he spell his name like I do. He is not me!

  19. Atkron says:

    Sorry about your penis size Cris Hoppes…do you drive a lifted pick-up too?

  20. Graybeard says:

    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but he is not a Green Beret.
    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but then he lied about his service.
    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but got busted for being an idiot.
    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but probably, but not confirmed, thought that Hoppes #9 was to be drunk, not used on a gun.
    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but brought shame and Google fame to himself.
    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but is forevermore dishonored by his actions.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Roger GB,

      Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but he is not a Green Beret.
      Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but then he lied about his service.
      Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but got busted for being an idiot.
      Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but probably, but not confirmed, thought that Hoppes #9 was to be drunk, not used on a gun.
      Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but brought shame and Google fame to himself.
      Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes did some cool stuff, but is forevermore dishonored by his actions.

      Copy five by five, over!

  21. Frankie Cee says:

    Chrisjon Thaddeus Hoppes,aka Chris Hoppes, you pathetic bitch. I dislike all posers, whether they were ever in the military or not, whether they wear a do rag and vest, or whether they just photoshop their head onto the portrait of someone better than them; but most of all I dislike someone who has made valid accomplishments and then chooses to shit all over it by standing in the blood of better men than he to make false claims. Total shithead doesn’t begin to describe you. It is all in gooooogle’s hands now, you dope.

  22. rgr769 says:

    I guess he figured he was SF and served with the 10th SFG(A} because his last duty station was at Ft. Devens. So maybe he actually saw some SF troops at Cutler Army Hospital.


    He IS a legit Green Bidet

  24. ThommyMac says:

    504th & EIB? That’s PLENTY!!! IMHO

  25. Bones says:

    The wings with the 82d patch are for qualifying as a non-military freefall parachutist (skydiver) with the 82d Abn Parachute club. After being a certified “up-jumper”, that is you can free fall without instruction, you could wear this.

    They did away with this for the uniform in the early 80’s. (83-84? It was when I was in the division.) There was no more wear of the RECONDO patch, the Jungle Expert patch or the Dragon or TOW qual pins on the uniform. Only DoD/TRADOC official school patched could be worn.

  26. Tony180A says:

    Fuck off Chris! I hope that tattoo on your forearm meets a wire brush and 60 grit sandpaper soon!

  27. annabelle says:

    oops…demotion in there…do i detect some dick stepping?

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