Daniel Clay Cheatham; phony Ranger

| February 19, 2018 | 104 Comments

Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this Daniel Cheatham who claims that he was injured as an Army Ranger, and he claims that he served in combat in Afghanistan, to improve his business as a masseuse and a yoga instructor;

The Army disagrees. It looks like Cheatham was an Initial Entry failure. He never left Fort Benning and his Infantry Training Brigade in uniform. He was scheduled to go to Fort Bragg and an airborne assignment, but he never made it. In his bio above, he claims that he left the Army as a corporal (E-4), but his discharge says that he never progressed past Private (E-1).

So, if you are looking for a masseuse with Ranger training and combat experience, Dan Cheatham is not your guy.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (104)

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  1. IDC SARC says:


  2. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Better watch out… DANIEL CLAY CHEATHAM is probably one of those “special” massage therapists that likes working on SQUEAKHOLES.

  3. RGR 4-78 says:

    A liar with love beads and funky hair that likes to rub on people.

  4. Mick says:

    Nice headband in the photo posted above.

    Is that to keep his hair out of his face while he applies his makeup?

  5. Claw says:

    Probably pissed so hot the sample bottle ignited before you could get the cap on.

    He needs to get together with Shane Kuntzman and get his Cabana Boy resume updated.

  6. David says:

    Masseur… a masseuse is female. Or was that intentional?

    • thebesig says:

      Judging by the look in that photo, I won’t be surprised if that was intentional, and that he identifies as a female. I usually see women giving that kind of look for a photo, and I usually see women wearing the headband the way he’s wearing it, coupled with the way his hair is flowing.

      I originally thought that this was a woman claiming to be an Army Ranger veteran, before I got a closer look.

      So, I wouldn’t be surprised if Daniel Clay Cheatham, phony Ranger Veteran, kicked out of the Army as an E-1 Private after 6 months and 27 days in the Army, were more of a butt plowed-into ranger.

      • rgr769 says:

        Let’s not sell him short. He beat the Gunga Dan line, even if he did leave the Army as a leg E-1. Even now, he follows the fake Ranger creed and never leaves a buddy’s behind, and vice-a-versa.

    • Mason says:

      Sure looks like a woman with stubble. I don’t want to make any assumptions though and offend the LGBTQABCDEF123 crowd.

  7. Wilted Willy says:

    You all had better be careful, I have it from good sources that this cocksucker is represented by that high powered legal team of Dewey Cheatum and Howe. I would not want to see any of you tied up in legal matters with this real deal cocksucker!!

  8. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Not just a BCT/AIT washout but a metrosexual spandex-prancing booger-eating bedwetter as well!
    A Green Belt in Aikido? OH, and a White Belt (BEGINNER) in Shao Lin Kung Fu. WHere’d he get that, form watching “Kung Fu” reruns on DVD? Yeah, I have self-awarded Black Belts in Yakimandu, Egg Foo Yung and Chop Suey, my chopsticks are certain death to EVERY morsel of food on my plate!! THAT BOY looks like some candyass on a college campus you’d see bawling while demanding free coloring books and Play-Doh in a “Safe Space”, I bet he thought he could bawl his way through but the US Army chewed him up and spit him out!!!

  9. NR Pax says:

    Dammit, my beloved Corps is falling behind in posers! And we’re losing to the Army?! That is fucking UNSAT, people! I know we got all these secret squirrel types with iron-on EGAs just looking for their time in the spotlight.

  10. Ex-PH2 says:

    What an oily little meatgazer.

    Iccck! The ICCCKK factor is HUGE with this one… huge and strong.

    N.B.: I’m not interested in destroying someone’s legit business. I have serious questions, however, about someone who lies about having served in order to draw it in. Advertising is one thing. Scamming people for all the wrong reasons is another.

  11. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Starting Monday with the first Phony Army Ranger poser. I see another Seal poser below this one, so I will make a comment below.

  12. 26Limabeans says:

    Item 13.


  13. 26Limabeans says:

    Ya know, he doesn’t look all that bad with the headband. If he could clean up the facial hair a bit more then I’m sure my dog would be happy to lick his face etc.

    • Wilted Willy says:

      Please, then your poor dog would have to lick his asshole for a week just to get that taste out of his mouth? Consider your poor dog 26!!

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Just send him a biox of those epilette pads from Sally Hansen and a pot of Nair hair removal creme. That will solve the problem and keep his chipmunk cheeks soft and pinchable.

      There is something not quite right about this kid. If I’m going to a masseur, he’d better have some upper arm muscles and fists like matured hams.

      This one looks like he can’t speak above a whisper, and has arms like dried twigs. But what do I know? I’m looking at a bad photo. I could be wrong.

  14. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    “Yep. He’s a dandy. He’s a real fancy boy!”

  15. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He looks like a cross dresser that forgot to shave before putting on makeup.

  16. Atkron says:

    Daniel Clay Cheatham loves to give a Happy Finish.

  17. Tom Huxton says:

    seven months in BCT may be some sort of record.

  18. Jonn Lilyea says:

    43rd phony in the first 50 days of the year.

  19. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    May his next Doctor Appointment be with a sadistic Proctologist that has huge fingers and piss-poor depth perception.

  20. Roh-Dog says:

    I’m going float a theory about soy-boy mcfuckface here, he’s not to be trusted around kids.

  21. Andy11M says:

    block 21 0f his 214, “Soldier not available to sign”, now what do you suppose that means?

  22. Jay says:


    I definitely would NOT do downward facing dog if he were behind me…

  23. Combat Vet says:

    I can’t wait to read about him being prosecuted under the Stolen Valor Act. I’m a combat veteran who suffered a spinal injury in Iraq and I’ve struggled for nearly 14 years now, just so a poser can steal valor to gain financially claiming injuries similar to mine.

    • Wilted Willy says:

      I understand your pain CV, I have a poser brother that has been scamming the VA for $3200 bucks a month for his phony disability and no one will listen to me!!! And this has been going on for years now!!!

    • Green Thumb says:

      I hear you.

      There is a turd here that relieved two article (FG) 15’s followed by AWOL.

      In lieu of a CM, he took a General and was booted as an E-1.

      This loser deployed, I will give him that. But he openly brags about claiming the “PTSD” and all other shit to draw benefits. And then he brags some more. And he will tell the “whole” story when talking to the press and shit about his advocacy and non-profit. He can’t work, be around crowds, has nightmares and shit but he is heavy into drugs and seems to be always out drinking. To include the American Legion,of which if I am not mistaken, he was the Post Commander. And several of those people know as well. But they do not care. Some of them actually look up to him as some sort of hero for ripping off the VA.

      Turds. All of them. And this turd is one fat sack of shit. And I do mean fat.

      So, we hooked him up and helped him work through his bullshit problems. We just spread the word and asked people to ask certain questions. Although this loser still gets his money, people ask a lot more “specific” questions and he has a tendency to leave or become “small”. Funny how that works.



    I think I saw him on RuPaul’s Drag Race. (There are no cars involved)

  25. RetiredDevilDoc8404 says:

    WTF is up with that rump ranger’s hair (the only kind of ranger he might be qualified to be)? There needs to be a Surgeon General’s warning about possible eye damage at the top of the page when pics like tinky-winky’s come up. Jeezus, now I have to wash my eyes out with battery acid…

  26. HMC Ret says:

    Use acetone, 8404, works just as well and less caustic.

    HMC Ret, 8404

  27. Roh-Dog says:

    Was this douche MOSQ’ed? Should be 11X or show OSUT Grad on ERB/214, right?
    There is def something wrong here, just raising his hand should have made him eligible for GWOT and/or NDR…
    Regardless, I still want to cuntpunch shim for disgracing the Home of the Infantry and being a festering turd.

  28. Frankie Cee says:

    HA1 I clicked on Daniel Cheatham’s facebook page, and it opens as Ambrosia Wellness. I followed that and came up with a phone number, called it and got a lady. She says he don’t own the business but she does know him. I told her that serious allegations had been made at a blog regarding Ranger Regiment service and an Afghanistan wound that didn’t happen, and he should address that before the truth gets his name to deep in the anals, (or was that annals), of Goooooooooooogle. She didn’t ask for info on the post, so I didn’t offer it.

  29. lily says:

    Just another phony living in grand delusion and he has no intestinal fortitude. He probably got PTSD after being smoked in the sand pit for not paying attention in map reading class. I wonder what broke him? No use of internet for a week?

  30. RM3(SS) says:

    I always wondered what the good idea fairy looked like. Now I know. Tinkerbell is jealous as hell.

  31. Combat Vet says:

    To Book Your Session with Daniel (Clay):
    Call or Text

  32. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    The Farcebook page says Danville KY when that boy looks like something off the streets of San Foo-foo.

  33. W2 says:

    Looks like Jody for teh ghey’s.

  34. Graybeard says:

    OK, we finally add another phony Ranger.

    I’d like a ruling from the TAH experts here – should I count an E1 basic washout as “real service”? He at least volunteered and went into basic, but he never served in a unit.

    Maybe I need a category for Basic Failures?

    • Claw says:

      Not a TAH expert, but I’ll render an opinion.

      A quick recap of the Cabana Boy’s DD214:

      Reserve Obligation – None
      Primary Specialty Awarded – None
      Decorations – None
      Military Education Completed – None

      “Service” to our Nation – NONE!!

      Create a new category? Nope, he/she/it/whatever the Hell it is simply belongs in the kicked to the curb ELS category with all the other non-hacking pukes.

  35. E4 Mafia For Life. says:

    I ETS’d as a SPC (E4).
    CPL is a lateral rank in the Army and up to the unit or MOS if you retain that. You might be a CPL then go to another unit then lose it.
    I can’t find anything on Google because my attention span is limited but do you guys know if a CPL ETS’s as a SPC or CPL?
    …or if you are an E1 and transition to Yoga Master, you ETS as a CPL Ranger Space Shuttle Door Gunner’s Mate 3rd Class.

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