Scott George Kallmeyer; phony SEAL

| February 21, 2018 | 106 Comments

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this Scott George Kallmeyer fellow who claims that he is a Navy SEAL. He even has a sweet ID card that attests to his SEAL-ness;

He can’t help but tell folks in social media about how the only easy day was yesterday, or something;

The Navy says “Who?”

That doesn’t stop him from sporting a Navy hoodie, though;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (106)

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  1. Graybeard says:

    I’m going to need a bigger scoreboard.


  2. IDC SARC says:

    Metastatic Cocksukker

  3. AW1Ed says:

    Going to take the lie to the grave.

  4. Frankie Cee says:

    I left him some love:
    Hey Shitstain. What in hell are you doing standing in the blood of better men than you, claiming valor that you have not earned. You are going to be goooogle famous when the commenters at this site get done with your ass:

  5. Mason says:

    I always enjoy people with cancer smoking.

    That ID card looks super legit too! Finished SEAL training and made Lt Cdr in five years? He’s super duper high speed.

    • Graybeard says:

      It gets me, but the addiction is strong.

      At my brother’s nursing home they take the residents who smoke outside at set times to have their cancer sticks. Folks who’ve lost body parts to cancer. And the young aides who can see the results of smoking out their joining in.

      Rationality is not always the hallmark here.

  6. Hayabusa says:

    For crying out loud, the phony SEALs are just running away with it now. Army posers, fake airborne/Ranger/SF/Delta, you guys have got to step up your game.

    And fake Marines, are you guys even in the game anymore?

  7. Jay says:

    Shit…they give ID cards showing who and who WASN’T a SEAL? Legitness…

    It’s funny, most of the time you can just LOOK at someone on here and tell if they ever served or not.

  8. Atkron says:

    Nothing screams SEAL more to me than a selfie with a smoke hanging off your lip.

    It’s bad enough that you claim to be a Sailor in the world’s greatest Navy. But, then you, somehow, step on your micro-penis and go full mashed potatoes and claim to be a SEAL?

    Scott George Kallmeyer welcome to Google University…because you’re about to get schooled in your new legacy.

  9. USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

    He’s sort of right in saying “the only easy day was yesterday”, only because he wasn’t exposed as a fraud until recently.

    I suspect the next few days/weeks will become more difficult for him…just like the saying predicts.

    Oh, and the card he has is a novelty card, purchased at sites like this one:


  10. HMCS(FMF) ret says:


    Hopefully this shitbags life gets really difficult starting NOW!


  11. 26Limabeans says:

    Same cheap shades. I’m onto something here.

  12. old says:

    Someone should twist that tourniquet band that’s around his neck. The blood getting to his brain is obviously just a waste.

  13. OldManchu says:

    Someone should twist that tourniquet band that’s around his neck. The blood getting to his brain is obviously just a waste.

    A navy seal ID card using what looks like a pedophile mugshot? Nice.

  14. E4 Mafia For Life. says:

    They didn’t keep good records in WWI.
    He swam thru the trenches in Passhendaele.
    He singlehandedly killed Kaiser Wilhelm Von Schlobenknobbin with his own spiked helmet.

  15. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    DUMBASS FUCKFACE!! YEAH, like USN SEALTeam Members carry cards like that in real life, that MIGHT impress fourteen year olds hanging out at the mall, but I and everyone else call BULLSHIT on that!!!

    You look like part of SLOBBER Team Three with your “OH, poor me!!” expression with a cigarette hanging out your mouth.

  16. Tallywhagger says:

    A founding member of the Bernathian-Butt-Brotherhood.

  17. NHSparky says:

    Nice DEP sweatshirt, douchebag.

  18. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Of course you know that I will beat this to shit, but is he from Florida with that ring thing around his neck???

  19. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Like Jack Jones sang “The Race Is On” with the Seals in the lead.

  20. ChipNASA says:

    I bet he’s lying about dying from rectal cancer too.

  21. Sparks says:

    I just knew Festus Haggen had a brother. Just never knew he was a circus seal.

    As Dr. Galen ‘Doc’ Adams said about why Haggens live so long, “Cause they’re too dumb to know they’re dead!”

  22. Stacy0311 says:

    Nobody ever steps up and claims to be a UA monitor.

    • Ret_25X says:

      yes they do…they just call it ‘SEAl’, “Ranger”, or “Viet of the Nam”


    • Atkron says:

      Not a collateral duty I ever wanted nor volunteered for; and thankfully never had.

      • The Stranger says:

        Is that the “Cuff and Stuff” detail or the “Meatgazer Detail”?

      • Martinjmpr says:

        The two most important unwritten rules in the military:

        1. NEVER volunteer to get certified as UA observer;

        2. NEVER get a bus driver license.

        • Jonn Lilyea says:

          3. Never get a generator operator license.

          • 2/17 Air Cav says:

            Funny you should mention that. My first ever driver’s license was a military one which authorized me to drive a deuce and a half, something else, and operate a generator. The license was issued to me w/o any test whatsoever…and I mean none and the generator? I didn’t know a generator from a refrigerator at the time.

            • 2/17 Air Cav says:

              I still have that license buried somewhere around here.

            • 26Limabeans says:

              “The license was issued to me w/o any test whatsoever”
              Same here. No test. Nothin.
              Then I bought a motorcycle against the commanders wishes. I was in Germany so the plate was just a green color with the letters USA. That was it.
              When I got back to the states with it I kept the same plate for the 30 days I was on leave.
              Massachusetts Registry cops pulled me over and could not believe what they had.
              I later parlayed that deuce and half license into a commercial Massachusetts drivers license with out even a test. The advent of CDL’s in the early nineties made my con a lost cause. Good.

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          I dunno, I had a Class A CDL before I went in the NG and not long after that I got a Passenger Endorsement added to my CDL which means I could drive say, a Charter bus for a living if something ever happened to my current income stream.

    • ChipNASA says:

      Yeah, well who want’s to shake hands with them or thank them for their service?
      got-damn meatgazers, every. one. of. em.

      Seriously when I was in the Reserves, they sent out letters every month to the First Sergeants, the unlucky ones got the “go to the clinic and pee” letter, the *REALLY* unlucky ones got the “You have to go watch everyone pee” letters.

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      I did see a HM1 put that on his eval years ago… I told him “you really should remove that from your ‘collateral duties’ block”. He didn’t want to, and it stayed there.

      And he always wondered why he never made CHIEF?

  23. Green Thumb says:

    Pencil Neck Loser.

  24. Ex-PH2 says:

    Calling him a jackass would be an insult to jackasses.

  25. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Turd Burglar.

  26. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    He’s a felon, a fraud, a cheat, and a liar. That’s his legacy. IF the cancer claim is true, one would think he would want to get his shit in order and clean out the warehouse full of bullshit he has spent his life accumulating and doling out. One would be wrong.

  27. Combat Historian says:

    I’m sure he also has a MACV-SOG “get out of jail free” card and a “Forgin’ Frank” fake SEAL certificate in his stash; he’s probably got a fake ribbon rack as well…

  28. Mark Lauer says:

    There would be fewer uses of the SEAL quote if, instead of “the only easy day….” it was; “Fuck, are my balls drangin’ in the sand, dude!”

  29. Starbux says:

    The phony ID card, Bwahahahaha. Another fat POS scumbag. I bet his official record is in a SCIF I mean sewer underneath Groom Lake next to the dead aliens.

  30. 13B/92S/42R says:

    Nice touch with the control number on the bullshyt ID card.

  31. C2Show says:

    another sad sack of shit claiming to be sick…

  32. HMC Ret says:

    The disclaimer with control number on the SEAL verification card adds a degree of authenticity. The ONLY reason someone would pay for such a card is to bullshit someone, probably a gullible woman with more money than common sense.

  33. Cameron Kingsley says:

    I almost want to feel sorry for these pathetic chumps. Their lives must either be miserable or they must have some mental issues for them to come up with these bogus claims. But looking at how many times they have had run ins with the law, I just can’t bring myself to do it as much as I want to.

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