Robert Kelly, Canadian phony apologizes

| June 24, 2018 | 25 Comments

Our partners at Stolen Valour – Canada send us the news that Robert Kelly has apologized to them for his fakery. Well, sort of;

He thought he’d earned all of those medals, he thought that he was a paratrooper, you know, even though he doesn’t remember jumping from an aircraft while in flight. He thought that he had served during World War 2 and Korean War.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (25)

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  1. Sapper3307 says:

    “Sorry Ahhh”

  2. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Love this line from his letter: “When I received what I thought were medals I was entitled to from a third party mounted….”

    Translation: I bought the stuff on-line.

  3. Kinda Old ET1 says:

    If he would have stopped after his second sentence I would believe him.

    But…

    Afer reading his entire mental masturbation, he is only sorry he got caught.

    • thebesig says:

      Here’s the fixed version:

      I would like to apologize for being caught deceiving people about my military service. There’s no excuse for my being caught, I’m truly sorry about that. When I acquired medals that that I know I didn’t earned, I wore them to get people to think that I did things I know for a fact I didn’t do. I knew that I was wrong all along, and Stolen Valour Canada confirmed my suspicions. In order to save myself from further embarrassment, from my actions, I’ve given my fake awards up.

      Over the years, I sea storied my phony accomplishments. I added more and more embellishment, figured it’d take me years to build it up, and to outlast those in the know. But, before I knew it, the little wave ripples of my lies became tsunamis. I’m forced to recognize that I should’ve been proud for what I’ve actually done for the Canadian people. They would’ve been proud of me if all I did was join the reserve, and did no other active duty outside of Active Duty for Training.

      I wish I could go back and keep my mouth shut on certain social media, and in front of certain people. If I did, I’d still have people believing my phony military service. I deeply apologize for being caught. Moving forward, I’m going to make bloody sure that the person that I’m talking to has absolutely no clue about the military, and can’t tell the difference between G.I. Joe and the real deal.

      I want to thank Veterans Memorial Services, and a local Captain, for not beating the crap out of me for attempting to steal their valour, and only required me to apologize and turn in unauthorized medals. With a lot of shame, embarrassment, and frustration that I have to be more careful about my phony pony tales, I’ve redone my medals to reflect what I’ve actually done.

      Again, I know what I’ve done what I shouldn’t have done, regarding not vetting my listener for gullibility. But, I can assure you that going forward I will start vetting my listeners to determine whether I should talk about my real service, or the one that I made up.

      I hope you, and everyone else can forgive me to an extent, to forget about this and me, so that I can move forward and go back to claiming feats and accomplishments that I didn’t do.

  4. 26Limabeans says:

    I’m just a bawlin.
    That was beautiful.
    Heartfelt, sincere.
    Damn.

  5. Ret_25X says:

    another jerk off jerkin off for all to see.

    how much jerk would a jerk off jerk if a jerk off could jerk jerk?

    all of it.

  6. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    The assclown known as ROBERT KELLY will be at it again.

  7. NR Pax says:

    “The stories about my service got out of hand, and before I knew it, I was down a hole I could not get out of.”

    You stop the problem this way: If someone is saying that you did something in the service, you deny it and don’t wear something you didn’t earn.

    • 2/17 Air Cav says:

      The only part of his letter that I believe is his name. That crap about getting out of hand means that, in retrospect, he now knows that he showed up at functions wearing unearned medals more times than he should have to safe-keep his lies.

  8. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    WTF is wrong with these peeps. My friend Lenny enlisted in 1953 or 1954 i forget. If it was in 1953 he would have went in at 17, 1954 at 18. He was an RD3 and served onboard the USS Guardian AG1 I think which was a WW2 liberty ship converted into a radar picket ship that was on the east coast and was part of the DEW Line which was supposed pick up and track any Russian bombers coming into the US. Lenny will be a young 82 this July and never embellished his time in the fleet as so many of these other A Holes do.

  9. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Is that one of those 1950’S commercial pilot’s wings above the fruit salad. Sure as hell looks like one AHH. Where is SGT. Preston of the Yukon and King or Dudley Doright to arrest this phony baloney.

  10. Green Thumb says:

    A french-fried loser.

  11. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Hey Robert Kelly, TAKE OFF, HOSER!!!

  12. Jarhead says:

    Why not go big time phony poser Robert Kelly? Tell us about the time you served during the Civil War and were on a submarine. A Lt Col General at that. Then follow by telling us how you were the first man to walk on the moon, except it was a secret mission no one was supposed to know about. Finish with you earned all those medals in Afghanistan by hand to hand combat with 1,274 Isis goat fCkers. Don’t forget to tell us how you were the only one with ice skates at the Chosin Reservoir and how you skated into enemy territory nightly and kicked ass. And for God’s sake, please enlighten us how you made hundreds of jumps from choppers in RVN. Yea, we believe everything you say shitbag.
    BTW, your so-called letter of apology was so weak it would not make good toilet tissue. You did dig yourself in a hole alright, digging ever so deeper every time you lied and so proudly wore those medals you did not earn. You have consumed more of the air than you deserve, and it clearly shows you are so deeply saddened that you were caught by running that big mouth just one too many times. Guess what LOSER? EVERY single one of you phonies follow the same script with your M. O., Lie Like Hell Until Caught. Get your sorry ass back on Fantasy Island where you belong. You can blow the midget, but you’ll have to get down so low to the ground that you will be one as a snake.

  13. Joe Claus says:

    Compulsive liar – can’t even write an apology letter without trying to decieve!

  14. PLASTIC DUCK says:

    Why make excuses? He got found out. The best thing to have done would have been to not throw the first shovelful of dirt out of the hole in the first place

  15. PLASTIC DUCK says:

    Incidently in the picture of him wearing battle dress he is improperly dressed because the sash is worn over the belt and not under it. The tassle should be no longer than the bottom of the No2 dress jacket and in practical use that’s about the base of the thumb. In the picture you can see his is about 2-3 inches too long. I also question his use of the uniform if he is not doing a miitary reenactment. He should be wearing gaiters and not puttees
    I attach a link of veterans of my own Regiment doing a final parade on the closing of Copthorne Barracks where I served in training and you see how they are dressed. The regulations for Canadian armed forces are no different and the pride still remains. https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2014/06/09/shrewsburys-copthorne-barracks-puts-on-its-final-parade/
    The devil is always in the detail.

  16. Jarhead says:

    SO Plastic Duck…can you help me? I have been ever so slow on the trail of one of your fellow Canadians who claims to have served in RVN. Age wise, I’d guess he could have done so. But this damned fool who works at a local Lowes has forever claimed to have earned the MOH. Jonn advised me some time back there were only two (he may have said one) Canadians who ever earned the MOH serving with U. S. forces, and this dude is NOT one. The manager at his store is a former long time Navy dude who did spend some time on ship in RVN waters. He agrees with me that the guy’s story is full of holes. Do you have any suggestions as to how I start getting the right answers to request a FOIA document to prove he is full of shit? His Canadian upbringing makes me wary of blowing it from the git go. Any advice would be welcome. My health is back with me and I am ready to go. Please direct. Claims to have served either in the U. S. Army or fought along beside them. My time was all with the USMC, so I don’t even know if Canadians had their own units there.

  17. Dano291 says:

    Glad this POS was finaly put down. He craved attention and wanted everyone to know he was a Super Trooper. He can take his apology and shove it. Oh yea here is a link with his bullshit, kind of contradicts his shallow apology.
    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/windsor-remembers-vimy-ridge-battle-at-great-war-monument-1.4068460

  18. allin says:

    To all who have commented regarding the Canadian Loser/Phony Robert Kelly …I saw the jackass walking into the Legion in Comber just the other day for a nice/cheap meal him and his wife Shirley Affleck… as for his apology it’s worthless he will certainly be at it as soon as he gets the opportunity…once a loser always a loser…as if he didn’t know the medals he had on his so called uniform were bought on line or at an antique store…he should have his poppy taken away…not allowed to have a poppy on his license plates…and both he and his wife should have their asses kicked up over their heads….

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