Charles Christopher Mueller; phony SEAL

| July 7, 2018

Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this fellow Charles Christopher Mueller who claims to be a Navy SEAL. As soon as he was confronted by real SEALs, he deleted his Facebook presence, but not before they snagged his claims. They were attracted to him because of his love of the fugly SEAL cap worn only by phony SEALs;

He has other caps, though;

He also wears a Trident on his suit jacket;

Chuckie Badass was in the Navy – for a month back in 1992;

There are records that NPRC doesn’t have, though. He was arrested in 2016 for impersonating a police officer in Alabama;

DOTHAN, AL (WSFA) – A Georgia man has been charged with impersonating a police officer, according to Dothan officials.

Dothan police say 42-year-old Charles Christopher Mueller of Climax Georgia has been taken into custody with a bond of $15,000.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (61)

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  1. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Cocksucker.

  2. Doc Savage says:

    Huh…that boy looks like a fart snarfer.

    • Grunt says:

      I learned a new one the other day that I feel is appropriate here.

      Frumper (n)- one who farts in the bathtub and inhales the bubbles.

      Charles Christopher Mueller is a frumper.

      • Ret_25X says:

        he lasted a whole month? I wonder what would have happened to him at Harmony Church?

        I’m thinking his felching ass might not have lasted 30 hours….

        • NHSparky says:

          He probably got lonely for home with all those planes taking off from the airport going right over his head.

      • Doc Savage says:

        LOL…..that’s a new one for my arsenal.

        My daughter introduced me to the word “fart snarfer”….one that trolls the seat cushions of a theater with their nose after everyone leaves.

        I don’t ask why she knows that…..sometimes it simply safer for a Fathers sanity not to.

        • IDC SARC says:

          “sometimes it simply safer for a Fathers sanity not to.”

          That’s why when my daughter moved out into the adult world,I got the fukk off her facebook page. Ignorance is bliss.

        • Marine 0331 says:

          Now wait just a minute guys!! What’s wrong with smelling farts? Everyone gets crop-dusted every now and then. There is no shame in smelling farts.

  3. 26Limabeans says:

    Another square head. I think that makes three this year. Biocriminology at work.

  4. Shazam-gollleeee !! another E-1 30 day wonder seal, where does Amerika get such magnificent warriors ?
    either he was a “bed wetter” or a “I miss my hometown” type, or just another village idiot that couldn’t assimilate to the working as a team concept.

    • NECCSEBEECPO says:

      Shit first two weeks is nothing but admin and some yelling. “bed wetter” and “mommy”

      • NHSparky says:

        I’d be willing to guess he didn’t even make it to his 1-5 day.
        More likely copped to something stupid at MOT and spent the next 3-4 weeks at TPU waiting to get shitcanned.

  5. Why do all these short term kick out enlistee’s on the fluffy side think people will believe their bullshit that they were part of a spec op unit that maybe 1% service wide actually accomplish ?

    • IDC SARC says:

      Affiliation may be a factor. Humans tend to cluster among those with similar interests, opinions, goals, etc. People like him would generally be telling those lies to people similarly capable of being receptive to those lies.

      According to the Military Phonies article it was those lies reaching the awareness of real SEALS that led to the confrontation and destruction of his SEAL persona.

  6. Ex-PH2 says:

    He lasted one whole month? Wow! I cannot imagine that!
    And to think that I had to put up with 10 long weeks of that pinch-faced PN1 looking down her hawk nose at me and the other girls, and listen to PN Fenstermacher yelling ‘Get your hands out of your pockets!’ at us all.
    How did we survive that, but he only had to stay for a month, and then he gets to be a seal?
    By the way, which species of seal is he? Harbor seal? Elephant seal? Circus seal?

    • Ret_25X says:

      he is the elusive Nabisco Seal….

    • Wilted Willy says:

      No, No, he is the world wide feared TupperWare Seal! Very few can reach this level of badassery! Hide the women and children while this walrus is on the loose!!

    • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

      EX; I had to walk through the Dempster dumpster on the first morning inspection on the grinder in Great Lakes Oct. 1963 because I didn’t shave off the peach fuzz on my face and then at least two to three times a week, I had to work off my demerits in the drill hall along with a lot of other guys doing the 96 count manual of arms keeping time to music blaring out of huge speakers with those old American made Enfields. Constantly was gigged for folding and storing clothing in those little lockers plus I had my ditty bag that hung on the rack’s railing torn because I couldn’t tie those 18 inch clothes stops the right way which ended up with a square knot.

    • rgr769 says:

      He likely did not last “one whole month” in actual boot training because it probably took over a week to get him out-processed for unsuitability. I don’t think any of the services back then could boot someone out the gate in less than several days.

  7. OWB says:

    This guy actually looks familiar. Hmmmm. Maybe it’s just that all these posers are beginning to look alike as well a sound and smell alike.

      • Poetrooper says:

        That’s just too close to be a coincidence. Since the turd has a record for illegal impersonation I’m wondering if he may have used the real SEAL’s identity for financial gain. Should be investigated.

      • Window Licker says:

        This really hits home, you have no idea how angry it makes me. Chris was a friend of mine, we served at Team Five together in the same platoon, great guy, gone too soon, he died too young. It feels like his name is drug through the mud because of this prick by association of the same name. It makes it especially bitter because he died overseas in the service of his country after getting out of the Teams. To boot, it is unfortunate, his name is often passed over, because he is not remembered on Team walls like the other former Team Five guys from Bangazi (Doherty and Woods) or Jeremy Wise who was another team mate at Team Four, because he left the teams in the late 90s, and it seems like they started to count after 911, Chris Mueller’s sacrifice was no less significant.

  8. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    THAT slovenly pus-nuts no-load fat-cheeked pecker-puffing Gerbil Molester looks like a MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando. 30 days? He has less time on AD than John Giduck!

  9. Combat Historian says:

    He’s legit; he was awarded the NDSM (Naval Distinguished SEAL Medal)…///

    • Hack Stone says:

      You mean the highly coveted and rarely awarded National Defense Service Medal, senior to the even more highly coveted and rarely awarded Precious Metals Recovery Expert Badge.

  10. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    The booking picture says it all… “I’m going to be Mr. “Tiny’s” cellmate”.

    • Some Guy says:

      I think that pic captured the exact moment when “Tiny” showed him what he’ll be having for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the foreseeable future. He might want to open a bit wider, though.

  11. Sparks says:

    Fat bastard.

  12. Club Manager, USA ret. says:

    From Climax, GA Can you imagine the number of jokes the women of that town are subjected to when they travel. What were the founding fathers thinking.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      They have a small town in Pennsylvania called Intercourse. It is right next to Paradise which is right down the road about 7 miles.

      So the common joke is Intercourse is next to Paradise.

      I was driving through and a small flower shop just outside Paradise was called “Almost Paradise” which I thought was clever.

      We now return you to your regular programming.

      • IDC SARC says:

        Bumper sticker and T-shirts seen in the area:

        “Virginia is for Lovers, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse”

      • Some Guy says:

        But if you get lost along the way to Intercourse, you may end up in Blue Ball, PA.
        OK, I’ll see myself out now.

      • Hondo says:

        FWIW: there’s also an Intercourse, AL. It’s around 293 miles from Climax, GA (go N on AL 17, E on US80, S on US231, and then E on US84 to get from Intercourse to Climax).

        Oh, and while Paradise, PA is only approx 2 miles (as the crow flies) SW of Intercourse, PA, Bird-in-Hand, PA, is reached significantly easier. It’s only about 4 miles due east of Intercourse on PA 340. In contrast, getting from Intercourse to Paradise requires some circuitous routing. (smile)

      • Hack Stone says:

        Shouldn’t Intercourse Pennsylvania be for lovers instead of Virginia?

      • NHSparky says:

        And it’s not far from Hershey, PA.

        Just a bit up the Hershey Highway.

    • Currahee John says:

      There is also a Cumming, GA on the other side of Atlanta. There’s a few other odd ones in GA, probably just to drum up interest in moving to those sticks.

      • Daisy Cutter says:

        There’s also a Bangor WA and Bangor ME.

        I was making an announcement to the formation one morning and I was telling them that the 1stSgt’s wife was flying in to spend a few days with him at a mutually agreed upon destination in WA to see relatives, so he’d be away for a few days.

        Someone said there wasn’t much to see around the base and I inadvertently blurted out “No, he was going up to Bangor.”

  13. Mason says:

    He looks like he licks windows.

  14. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Not that many Seal posers this past week.

  15. RCAF-CHAIRBORNE says:

    Climax, Georgia…..We Take All Cummers

  16. Carlton G. Long says:

    Epic photos…this dude must be tougher than a two dollar steak ::eyeroll::

  17. HMC Ret says:

    30 days? That means he was probably separated from his company after about 15-20 days and spent a few weeks peeling potatoes or doing similar scut work for a few weeks waiting for the paperwork for his discharge to be completed. So he spent 30 days during which the military did not benefit from his ‘service’. So how the hell does he get the coveted NDSM?

    He should have completed boot. He would have gone directly to SEAL Team 6, the baddest of the bad. Has a startled look in his pic, with his mouth open.

    Bed wetter. Mommy missing. Personality disorder. Hygiene issues. Whatever. 30 days and gets the NDSM. Doesn’t seem right.

    • Mason says:

      Agree with you Chief, but the terms for award of the NDSM is just “honorable service” during the time period. In my research, it looks like a single day is sufficient.

      Also interesting that we’re about to cross the 17th year of award of the NDSM for the GWOT. It was awards for four years and one month for Korea, 13.5 years for Vietnam, and a little over five years for the gulf. We’re getting close to having awarded it for this conflict for as long as Korea and Vietnam COMBINED.

  18. Green Thumb says:

    Dude looks like he is going all full porker and shit.

    Probably needs to double down on the felching help as well.

    Maggot.

  19. Jarhead says:

    Just to expand on this triple chin, lying, bow tie wearing’s adventures in being arrested for impersonating a police officer. Not was it a city cop he tried to be, but a FEDERAL agent at that!

    From the Dothan, Eagle

    Dothan police charge man with impersonating an officer
    Jim Cook
    Education reporter Sep 26, 2016 0
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    Police said a Climax, Georgia man arrested Friday in Dothan impersonated a police officer by claiming to be a federal law enforcement officer.

    Charles Christopher Mueller, 42, of Climax, was arrested by Dothan Police and charged with impersonating a police officer, a felony offense.

    Dothan Police Lt. Will Glover said Mueller entered a local resident’s home claiming to be a federal law enforcement officer and demanding to see the resident’s guns. Glover said police believe Mueller decided to conduct the search after overhearing a conversation in a local gun shop.

    Bond for Mueller was set at $15,000. Impersonating a police officer is a class C felony, punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

  20. PRCS (Ret.) says:

    I bet that if you come across anything he has written, it will be a mess of grammatical dumbassery.

    Jelly boy looks like the stroll from the parking lot into Krispy Kreme would be his ideal of Hell Week.

  21. tsgt annabelle says:

    hmmmm….mental illness is strong in this one…