Rafael Jesus Pons; phony SEAL

| July 13, 2018

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this goofy-looking, mangy turd, Rafael Jesus Pons also known as Lee Pons who claims that he’s a Navy SEAL.

Nice try, goof-nuts. The National Personnel Center responds “Who?”

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. 26Limabeans says:

    Juilliard Educated.
    Yeah, sure.
    Navy SEAL.
    Yeah, sure.

    • USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

      People who falsely claim former SEAL service are amusing, especially on how they explain their post-military service progression…

      (1) I served on “the teams” for 20 years
      (2) (I wear the pin and t-shirt, but can’t talk about it because it’s all classified)
      (3) I received a Masters Degree and Doctorate degree in “XYZ” from (Insert name of college here)
      (4) My wife looks like Morgan Fairchild
      (5) My extensive criminal history is fabricated to protect my actual time away from home and assignments
      (6) I caught the PTSD, but am okay because I have millions of dollars after serving with Triple Canopy after 10-20 tours with them in Iraq and Afghanistan
      (7) I was Chris Kyle’s spotter on top of the Superdome when martial law was declared in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina
      (8) I attended Julliard and am an expert with all instruments – just as I was an expert with every possible kind of firearm
      (9) I live in Florida, have a motorcycle, dew rag, belong to a veteran motorcycle riding club, a service dog, and belong to several veteran organizations
      (10) I do not know Don Shipley
      (11) I’m looking for a job as an auto-mechanic (but before that I was a shift manager at a hardware store)

      (…the list goes on)

      • Mark Lauer says:

        (2) Sub Statement (a); I did a lot of work in Nicaragua, Pandora, and Tacobelle. Did a mission in Nacho Grande—I’m not over that one. But I can’t tell you about any of those, they’re all Top Secret.

      • Hack Stone says:

        What was the name of the “Navy SEAL” who was in charge of replenishing the vegetables at The Olive Garden Salad Bar? That one must have been three or four years ago.

  2. Grunt says:


  3. Hondo says:

    Over at Military Phonies, someone commenting there and apparently claiming to be Pons has trotted out the “served under a different name” claim.

    OK – then this should be quite simple to sort out. All Pons has to do is provide that other name, and the appropriate BUD/S class number. That’s easily checked.

  4. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Assclown is the same age as me and looks 15 years older… must be all of that seal fellitating he’s done in his lifetime.

  5. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    He looks like a tired old hippy wannabe musician…he doesn’t look like any ex-seal young or old I’ve ever met…he looks a little soft if you know what I mean…

    • 26Limabeans says:

      “wannabe musician”

      My basement dwelling nephew is an internet musician. Bought a cheap software driven “rendering” gadget and sells his “art” via twitter where he displys his hate for Trump.
      Could very well be this guy.

      • IDC SARC says:

        Never understood how musicians, who by nature are paid money for providing a product can be so arbitrarily leftist.

        Supply and demand…fukkers are capitalist by definition

        • Hondo says:

          ‘S not some crass “product”, man . . . it’s art!

          (I trust the sarcasm is obvious.)

  6. QMC says:

    He looks like an unlikeable d-bag version of Leon from That 70’s show.

    • Thunderstixx says:

      Don’t you mean Leon Russell?
      He’s been known to wear a top hat at his performances. Surprisingly, he’s still out there kicking !!!
      Good for him, great keyboardist !!!


      • AnotherPat says:

        Rest In Peace, Leon Russell:

        Russell died in his sleep at his suburban Nashville home in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, on November 13, 2016, at the age of 74, his wife said in a statement on his website. In 2010, he had undergone surgery, and in July 2016 he suffered a heart attack. He was recovering from heart surgery.Leon Russell’s funeral was on November 18 at Victory Baptist Church, in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, and a public memorial was held at The Oral Roberts University Mabee Center on November 20.

  7. RetiredDevilDoc8404 says:

    I take it that zipnuts doesn’t know how easy it is now to find out if someone was a SEAL or even served. I take it he has no honor or integrity. I have it on good authority that he is so full of shit his eyes are brown; he may lie but the FOIA don’t. So, ya dried up stank ass hippie wannabe, how about you crawl back into the men’s room at the bus station I think you might have customers waiting for you. Maybe they’ll find your “talents” more to their liking.

  8. Combat Historian says:

    This douche probably spent his entire adult life selling trinkets as part of the Grateful Dead Deadhead caravan…

  9. Doc Savage says:


    WTF, cousin it?

    This is why you shouldnt put rogaine in your bong water.

  10. SGT Fon says:

    i think since he was objecting in the military phonies comments section about his name:


    • ChipNASA says:

      Mountain Dew up the nose *burns*.

    • jim h says:

      oooh, nice. we need a medal certificate for this stuff. call it, say, the “Douchebaggery medal, 1st class, with sand in the V device.”

      good work SGT Fon!

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      So, in this case, it’s okay to say “Jesus, you are so stupid you don’t even know you’re alive”, right?

  11. Mason says:

    I don’t want to see what he did for those Mardi Gras beads. Or are they colorful anal beads?

  12. Sparks says:

    Queer bait.

    • USAF RET says:

      Yeah this dude tried to be an Indy driver when he heard about getting “Pole position”……

  13. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    DA DA DA DA, Phony Seals in the lead this week I think???

  14. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    THAT BOY has drank a lot of bong water and licked a lot of windows over the years, the booger-eating bed wetting pisspants pus-nuts no-load candyassed fleabag hippie!

  15. WOW…I’m 8 years older than this wannabee, but yet he looks a dozen years older than me, and I have long hair and a white neatly trimmed beard…But I never wear doo rags, goofy looking hats, or ridiculous amounts of beads, chains and jewelry, I do play blues guitar amongst my friends, mostly self taught, to me the Julliard trained guitarist/musicians are just too boring, too many chromatic scale runs at Mach 1 for my melodic taste and no soul.
    Hmmm…I’ve never claimed too be a SEAL or that I was in the military, for the sake of a political argument, I have said I was a USAF NCO survival equipment specialist of which, I was, for 6 & 1/2 years AD while telling about my experiences and people I met in casual conversation. No tales of heroics, not what I would call heroics anyway, mostly just getting on with the job.
    This dic head gives us long haired music playing real vets a bad vibe, I’d jam with him, but not in the way he thinks, I’m thinking 1 cheap, and I mean Chinese cheap solid body electric guitar over his shitty little head, is my thought

  16. RGR 4-78 says:

    A hippy dope freak faggot with moobs.

  17. Ex-PH2 says:

    So this unfortunately phallic-shaped hedge bunny dint do nuffin, but wants everyone to think he done did sumpin’, right?

    Okay, sure. (giggle, snort, giggle some more, keep giggling) He looks more like croquet ball than a seal, although I’m sure he could balance a croquet ball on his snout.

  18. Carlton G. Long says:

    He got tired of getting busted telling people he’s Rupert Holmes.

  19. rgr769 says:

    Why is it that the goofiest of our goofy POSers usually claim to be Navy SEALs?

  20. Jarhead says:

    Middle name being Jesus, I’d say this wannabee thinks people should worship him, in spite of the missing scars on his palms. Reminds me of the old irreverent comment back in the day: “Jesus saves………Green Stamps, that is”.

  21. Mr. Sharkman says:

    Looks as if he is seeking to emulate The Baron Samedi.

    And if you believe in The Baron, emulation – especially when emulation brings on disgrace – is a very, very dangerous game to play.

  22. Pineywoods NCO says:

    He looks like a reject from the Hank Williams fan club.


  23. Jarhead says:

    Consider me another long-haired HipEye who refuses to pay $16 every month for a haircut. Both hair and beard neatly trimmed. More important any time out in the public, but ESPECIALLY when a picture is being taken, NEVER do I look like this POSER who apparently refuses to buy and use shampoo very often. What’s up with these greasers? We all know the old saying, “If a hot chick has greasy hair and dirt under her fingernails. what else is it that must likely be unkempt?” Nothing like the smell of rotten tuna that just melts Mr. Johnson’s upright posture.