Secret Communications During – uh, arguments?

| August 12, 2018

I heard there was a Secret Code

That broke their minds and stopped them cold

But that’s just silly rumor stuff now, isn’t it?

I’ve been working on some Seekrit Squirrel stuff for a while – which I can’t talk about because it’s… well, classified, y’know.  But I did come up with some secret codes that might be worth considering as a way to confusticate the Bad Guys and make them scratch something besides themselves.

Since seekrit squirrel codes are being stolen and posted online all the time, I though that new language called Gibberish might be useful. And if you can figure out what the first bunch of lines mean, let me know.

Akcie998nJK – 65tcls; xoejav; mervno ashtoer refpepepit

Sldi w3en3

Fkwp; 938rf-d

Flwerijt92kdf’ d’cicu23k ccf9wskcnva ;dld9 vld8avw 3kj

There’s also that part about ‘The cat is in the pan. I say again, the cat is in the pan.”

Next, we have chitchat between the Strikeforce Control Group and the hot doggers (strikers, ground and aerial).

Note to Chef d’Équipe:

Translation: Bomber to Striker One Guidon:

We’re ordering 30 pounds of onions, 30 pounds of potatoes and 4 cartons of tabasco for dinner

Translation: we’re dropping 30 bumper crops of conventional bombs and 15 MOABs plus 4 incendiary bombing runs

Is there any smell with those onions? Negative. We provide only the best materials when we have dinner guests.

Translation: are any of those bombs loaded with nerve gas or chemicals? Negative. All are non-chem, non-nuke and clean.

SHOPPING LIST (Targets Assigned, Logistics Required)

5 lb potatoes – all red, no russets = carpet bombing 5 runs

5 bottles of super hot tabasco sauce = incendiary bombing 5 runs

Cooking spray – 6 cartons = 6 squads of fighter-bombers or for land forces, 6 brigades of heavy artillery-based infantry, plus aerial backup

Who’s jumping out of the cake at the end?  Yo mama!

Translation: Homing in on target now.

How many candles on it?  Nine big fat ones!

Translation: Nine Fatboy nuke mines are planted and primed.

Don’t be late for dinner.

Translation:  Get all Groundpounders the hell out of that valley now-now-now!

Okay,  and leave the light on for us, willya?

Translation: There in eight.

I noticed that when that dead messenger homing pigeon from WWI was found in a chimney a couple of years ago, those old codes could have gone without translation if someone hadn’t found and bought an old code book at a curiosity shop.  I’m guessing that truckers still have that old ‘Breaker-breaker’ thing.

Since someone is always trying to steal secret codes, I think keeping it as simple as possible is a good idea.  You know what I mean: if hours are like days, it will take 3.75 days to rebake this batch of cookies (repair the warp drive and get us out of here).

I’m just waiting for someone in a tight spot to put out a Mayday call as James Kirk requesting permission to set off the Corbomite Device, which will destroy all lifeforms and shipping without a 250 mile radius of ground central.

Category: "Truth or fiction?"

Comments (26)

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  1. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    BZ EX; I’m sitting here reading this and holding a kleenex tissue in one hand trying to keep this head “Code’ under control.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      You have my deepest sympathies. I am getting hit by ragweed pollen, and it is ZERO fun.

      Watch old Star Trek reruns or Tom & Jerry cartoons. Laughter has always been the best medicine. Chicken soup helps, too.

      • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

        Thankyou Ex, I’ve got around 20+ enviremental allergies and taking drops not covered by Medicare. Shots covered but I don’t want to spend my life going to get them. Had Clari Fix july 2nd to stop the post nasal drip and if I would have waited a little instead of blowing my nose real hard, I wouldn’t have to had to make 3 ER visits, 2 in the FD “Bus” and I would not have had to go through the Epstaxis Embolization procedure to cauterize the veins from the inside.

    • Thunderstixx says:

      I’ve been battling a cold for three weeks now.
      How in the hell can I get a cold when it is 110 degrees outside…

      • clamsgotlegs says:

        There is a respiratory bug out there right now.

        Maybe a Mycoplasma infection or walking pneumonia at this point. Get it checked out by a doctor ASAP.

    • desert says:

      ex-ph2… GOTTA quit drinking that stuff! 😉

  2. Roh-Dog says:

    The chair is against the wall, the chair is against the wall
    Alex Jones did nothing wrong.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      The Needle is in the haystack.

      • Roh-Dog says:

        OMG, soooo true! Until it isn’t, dundundunnnnn!
        (Btws, I’m drunk as f because Sunday/Funday and it’s supposed to rain, eventually… so please take everything I say with a grain of salt,…and a lime. Mmm, tequila)

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Roger that. Alex Jones got punished for exercising his right to free speech. The venues he used are considered by their “owners” to be “private property”, and therefore, they don’t have to offer him space if they don’t want to.

        He should have long ago pulled his wallet out and gotten his own server. Even the Shipleys got their own server for those fake SEAL videos. But as long as he was paying for his space, the “owners” could simply have let his contract term run out and not renewed.

        We’ll see what comes out of that, but he was too dependent on the money-hunger of “others” and could have seen that coming. He chose to ignore it. Now he’s “off the air”, but no one, e.g., FAA, is telling him he can’t broadcast his views. I’m sure there will be a tussle of some kind. Just waiting to see what happens.

        • Roh-Dog says:

          I’m glad they (the big three: bookFace, Goygool, and trouserApples) kicked him off. It proves to everyone what they really believe: you’re a commodity until you ain’t. As long as the omnipotent and benevolent hand of the Free Market allows people to patronize as they see fit, I have not a problem. Unfortunately I don’t see this ending well, either government intervention or corporate blockading will happen, at that point we all lose.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          I look at it this way: if a small voice like This Aint Hell can exist online because its “owner” has enough sense to pay for his own server, despite the cost, then someone like Jones, who does have a good-sized following can just do the same thing and stop whining.

          Even that witless drunk down in Florida, who has found a way to continue to make a nuisance of himself, can do that.

          So the problem here is not the companies who carried Jones’s website and broadcasts. It is his refusal to take the responsibility on his own shoulders and manage his own network.

          I don’t see this as a government issue at all. It’s entirely on his shoulders.

          • 5th/77thFA says:

            Gubmint intervention and corporate blockading is already here and to get worse. The sausage is in the beans; I repeat, the butter is on the cornbread.

          • Instinct says:

            The only problem is that Facebook and the rest have gotten away from being sued for so long by claiming they are an open platform and do not control what is posted.

            By now saying that they are needing to control what people see on their website they now fall under the stance of a publisher, which means they are responsible for what is posted.

            So, they are going to have to decide, or the courts will need to decide, what Facebook actually is – a platform or a publisher.


            • Ex-PH2 says:

              Well, for comparison, Amazon will publish just about anything in their Create Space/Kindle platform, but they have specific rules which may cause them to reject your content.

              Amazon is a self-declared publisher platform.

              So, by comparison, if Zoockie thinks that controlling what “others” say he is not acting as a publisher, he is mistaken. Ditto the other venues: YouTube and whatever else Alex Jones was using for his rant platform.

              So, do I feel sorry for Jones? No, I do not. He had enough cash to set up his own spot, just as others have done and he didn’t bother.

              However, now the real question – that of controlling content – will come up, and it should be an interesting dustup, to say the very least.

          • streetsweeper says:

            Precisely! Jones has never been one I would care to listen to, comparable to that late night show Coast to Coast AM & George Noori. Several websites I used to admin on were overun by Jones “free speech”. Yet the boy pulled in decent money and should of had his own server. Would have taken the load off the one website considerably. What a dick..

      • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

        The needle in the haystack. Remember the barn scene at the end of Monkey Business when Groucho was digging through the haystack and someone asks what he is doing and in classic Marx Bros. fashion says, I’m looking for the needle in the haystack. Classic.

  3. 5JC says:

    John has a long mustache, John has a long mustache.

  4. CCO says:

    “If you go by the book”

  5. wuf says:

    Mine does the same thing when I’m not around and sends to mailing list… I think it’s Catonese in code… I’ve tried to crack it but no luck.. Wish we had a mole inside to get code card

  6. streetsweeper says:

    Have fun figuring that stuff out, PH. lol.

  7. JTB says:

    The Pearl is in the river…The pearl is in the river…

  8. clamsgotlegs says:

    Gravity always wins…Gravity always wins.