Blast From the Past; David “Doc” Shrum, phony wounded veteran

| November 7, 2018

Jonn posted about David “Doc” Shrum on August 25, 2015, read the original post and comments here: David “Doc” Shrum; phony wounded veteran. Military Phonies posted a Throwback Thursday on David “Doc” Shrum on January 12, 2017, here: David “Doc” Shrum; phony wounded veteran. The 42D Dental Laboratory Technician was selected for the Blast From the Past weekly post among a plethora of eligible poser candidates by the elite TAH selection team, well, just because.

As Jonn pointed out so eloquently, “The lesson here is; if you enlist to be a dental technician, be a dental technician”.

Jonn’s work below.


Doc Shrum

Several months ago, the New Mexico department of the Military Order of the Purple Heart told us about this guy that they had booted by the name of David Shrum. Shrum had been the state commander in the early part of this century and folks started wondering about some of his claims. From the Daily Times;

Shrum claims on the DD 214, provided to The Daily Times by the military order, that he received the bronze star, a Distinguished Flying Cross and a Silver Star, prestigious medals given to soldiers for heroism or gallantry in military action.

However, according to Shrum’s military records, obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request sent to the federal National Archives and Records Administration, Shrum received no awards for heroism.

Here’s that DD214;

Doc Shrum DD214
Notice the DD214 says that he joined the Army in 1964. Well, that’s easy to disprove;

Doc Shrum HS diploma

Yep, he was still in High School when the DD214 says he was in the Army on active duty. And all of those medals “with clusters”. No one in the Army says “with clusters”. Except newbies.

[David’s brothers] Ken and Bill Shrum claimed in interviews that their brother has a long history as a con artist and has served time in federal prison for fraud.

It looks like David did serve according to the Daily Times;

The records indicate that David Shrum graduated in November 1965 from basic training at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri and then received training as a dental lab specialist in San Antonio, Texas.


David Shrum was stationed in Okinawa beginning in June 1966 and remained there until the completion of active duty, federal records state.


David Shrum finished active duty in September 1968 and reenlisted in February 1971, according to federal records.

David Shrum served in Vietnam with the 56th Dental Detachment from April 14, 1971, to Feb. 21, 1972, according to federal records.

He received additional dental training upon his return to the United States and was redeployed to Germany in December 1973.

We submitted for a FOIA on Shrum back in September but for some reason they didn’t include his awards and the standard FOIA form that we normally get. All they sent was his assignments. Mary has resubmitted four more times. But here are his assignments;

David Shrum Assignments 1
David Shrum Assignments 2

You can see that he does have a tour of Vietnam as a dental technician from April 1971 – February 1972. Not usually a type of assignment that would earn him 17 Air Medals, 5 Bronze Star Medals, 3 Distinguished Flying Crosses, and 3 Silver Star Medals. Nor would it require the Basic Airborne Course, and the Jungle Operations Training Course.

After he was booted from the Army with a General Discharge after a drunk-driving accident on a US base in Germany, he spent two tours in prison for defrauding investors in a couple of schemes he tried to perpetrate on the public.

The upshot is that the MOPH has suspended the chapter in Farmington, NM and some of the members have reported Shrum’s lies to the VA and to the Feds.

Pete Comstock, another former commander of the order…said a federal investigator told him David Shrum is currently under investigation by the office for fraudulently claiming 100 percent disability.

“He claims 100 percent disability, because of (post-traumatic stress disorder), and it’s a lie,” Comstock said. “He has been receiving $3,000 a month for a long, long time and he shouldn’t have been.”

The federal investigator was reached by telephone but declined to comment on Shrum.

The lesson here is; if you enlist to be a dental technician, be a dental technician.

We’re still waiting for the rest of Shrum’s real records from the NPRC.

And here it is on Oct. 27, 2015, finally;

Shrum FOIA

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Darwin Awards, Past Posers

Comments (51)

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  1. AW1Ed says:

    The BFTP Staff (both of us) would like to dedicate today’s offering to our very own Wilted Willy, friend and loyal TAH commenter. This one’s for you, WW!

    Very nicely done, ex-OS2.

    Who will it be next week? You’ll just have to log on and see.
    BFTP Staff.

    • Wilted Willy says:

      Thank you all so very much for posting this little gem for me! I don’t want you to think I’m not paying attention, but I just got home from taking my wife to the hospital for emergency surgery for her ruptured appendix. I just got her home and she is resting comfortably, thank you! Now I can go read the wonderful comments from my TAH brethren!!
      I love you all!!

      • Fyrfighter says:

        Glad to hear the wife is doing ok WW, prayers and good wishes to both of you.

      • 26Limabeans says:

        “taking my wife to the hospital for emergency surgery for her ruptured appendix”

        You are a good man WW.

        • HMC Ret says:

          Blessings and speedy recovery for your wife, WW. And thanks to the TAH staff for posting this for Willy. I know it bothers him; it should bother all of us if someone not eligible for VA $ receives $.

          • 5th/77th FA says:

            Get well soon Mrs. Wilted Willy. We will offer up prayers for you. They say that vanilla bean ice cream on fresh brownies is a miracle healing drug.

      • AW1Ed says:

        Your wife’s medical emergency takes precedence over everything- so very glad she’s home and resting.

      • Dinotanker says:

        Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Mrs WW.

  2. Combat Historian says:

    “…And all of those medals “with clusters”. No one in the Army says “with clusters”….”

    I do. I say “with clusters” all the time…when talking about macadamia nut chocolate clusters; if you haven’t had them, they’re delicious with kona coffee…

    • SFC D says:

      I’ve witnessed many “clusters” in the Army, and occasionally some did involve medals. They just weren’t ON the medal.

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      I think that in the case of DAVID “DOC” SHRUM, it’s the cluster of man nuts bouncing off his chin while he’s “workin’ it” behind the dumpster at the local Flying J near the interstate.

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        I heard that David “Doc” Shrum preferred to get drilled at Brucies Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)

  3. David says:

    Thought the only time you said ‘cluster’ was as part of a three syllable term also denoted politely as a ‘goatrope’.

  4. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Ooh, a Specialist 5 or SP5, one has not been able to achieve that rank since say, 1985 or 86! Still a bed wetting booger-eating turd burglar of a dingleberry.

  5. It Looks like Shrum didn’t tell us the whole “Tooth”.

  6. Comm Center Rat says:

    “There…straddling that wisdom tooth. Isn’t that moral decay?” said the Army dentist to the battalion chaplain while examining 42D Shrum.

  7. Ret_25X says:

    I cannot tell you how many times during my years I would go to the dental clinic and find Rambo doing my cleaning or have Dr. Audie Murphy as my dentist.

    Apparently, Shrum ate too many shrooms and it addled his meager wits.

  8. John Wright says:

    I think ‘Cluster” is accepted Army terminology … newbies and lifers alike.

    John Wright

  9. NHSparky says:

    Having gone to HS in Farmington and still having ties to the area, it burns my ass this guy singlehandedly managed to get a chapter shut down.

    Bitch gonna be looking over his shoulder if he’s still anywhere in San Juan County.

  10. Skyjumper says:

    I’ll see “Doc” Shrum’s “Distinguished Flying Cross w/2 Clstrs” and raise him with my “Distinquished Flying Phucks w/4 Clstrs”.–NwLSbOuw–/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_675,q_80,w_1200/183ees8jktw9ajpg.jpg

    This guy needs to busted…..soon, and feel some pain!

  11. SFC D says:

    He wanted to be this guy.

    Captain, Dental Corps, U.S. Army
    Company B, 1st Med Battalion, 1st Infantry Division
    Date of Action: 2 February 1967
    Synopsis: Citation Needed
    The President of the United States of America, authorized by Act of Congress July 9, 1918 (amended by an act of July 25, 1963), takes pride in presenting the Silver Star (Posthumously) to Captain Marion G. Runion, Dental Corps, United States Army, for gallantry in action in connection with military operations involving conflict with an armed hostile force in the Republic of Vietnam. Captain Runion went forward with a dust-off ship when word was received of a casualty who was wounded in the neck and jaw and having trouble breathing. The ship was fired on as he was helping to guide it to the landing zone. Once on the ground Captain Runion proceeded to the casualty and carried him to the helicopter. As the ship took off it was hit my enemy fire and crashed, killing all aboard. Captain Runion’s conduct and actions reflect the highest traditions of the Army Medical Service.
    General Orders: USARV Medical Bulletin, USARV PAM 40-3 May/June 1967

    • Claw says:

      Six men KIA that day on that brand new (only 140 flight hours) bird. It took at least five .51 cal rounds right in the main rotor hub.

      And it is in the blood of men such as those on that Dustoff bird that Shitheads such as Shrum want to stand in and say “Look at me. I’m a hero.”

      I hate phony phucks such as Shrum.

      • HMC Ret says:

        Ditto. He’s been working it for many years. Don’t understand the delay in breaking ‘it’ off in his ass and sending him to the loving arms of Thor and Bubba.

      • rgr769 says:

        In the case of this phony pluck, he done more than make up bogus war stories. He ha defrauded the VA of close to a million in our tax dollars. Anyone who thinks a dental lab tech can experience war trauma at the tail end of the Vietnam War is either delusoional, retarded, or both.

  12. Wilted Willy says:

    And for today’s believe it or not, yes this dildo sucking turd burglar is still getting his $3200 a month check, still owes all of his ex-wifes thousands in back child support and is still rocking the lies! I have called the VA, FBI and anyone else that would listen to investigate this butt fucker and still no prison in his future!! I really appreciate all of your support in trying to hang this asshole, please keep up the great work!!!
    Thanks again,

  13. John Wright says:

    The VA IG has proponency for the DVA Special Agents – probably initiate an IG complaint at the national level.


    John W

  14. ChipNASA says:

    I hope that the pressure increases and Wilted Willy will be Wilted no more and that Ole’ Doc Shrum is shortly taking it up the Bum.

    • Wilted Willy says:

      Thanks Chip, I will be doing a dance around the compound if this asshole is ever put back in prison where he so desparatly belongs! I can’t wait to piss on his grave! He didn’t even show up for my dear mother’s funeral. He should burn in hell for that alone!

  15. IDC SARC says:

    Fekking Fang Fairy

  16. Claw says:

    Calling Doc Savage – Calling Doc Savage..

    Doc Savage to the white courtesy phone please.

    Need a repeat posting of your “Phony Stolen Valor Creed” here on this Wednesday’s BFTP.

    Thank You.


    He certainly could have caught the PTSD as a Dental Tech. What if he had to examine British Soldiers once?
    That would do it

  18. 5th/77th FA says:

    David “Doc” Shrum lied and embellished his military service. He should be kept away from women, children, dogs, cats, and honest folk in general. He will lie and cheat again. Make some more Google hits. He stole from the taxpayer and didn’t even have the decency to attend his own Mama’s funeral. ESAD POS! (That means Eat Shit And Die Piece Of Shit) David “Doc” Shrum. Assholes like you make me sick.

  19. AW1Ed says:

    BFTP candidate recommendations are cheerfully accepted, but next week’s victim is already in work. We’ll get to your “special” poser when able.
    Your friendly BFTP Staff

  20. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    I hereby make an official motion for David “Doc” Shrum to receive The Official TAH Continent of Insults®™️.

    • HMC Ret says:

      I gladly second the motion.

    • ChipNASA says:

      I caught this.
      I will have to see if he had one in the past and then, also, tomorrow, I’ll get a new one done and updated.
      (Note: Off the top of my head, I think he has one. I’ll check tomorrow. )

      • ChipNASA says:

        OK Guys…and AWAY WE GO!!!!

        The Continent of Insults®™
        (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
        FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
        DANGER CLOSE!!!!
        MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
        TAKE COVER!!!!!
        David “Doc” (Dick!) Shrum…. Giant FRAUD, retarded, fairytale fucking fecal former, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper,
        In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, wait of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON?? Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots,
        I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine , Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number,

        • ChipNASA says:

          if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello,
          I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P. ) , has NOT earned any of the following: 17 Air Medals, 5 Bronze Star Medals, 3 Distinguished Flying Crosses, nor 3 Silver Star Medals, has not qualified or completed the Basic Airborne Course, and the Jungle Operations Training Course, is not 100% NOT disabled but is a 100% VA fraud that needs to go to jail for his fuckery, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tappingglory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia,
          you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian and of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
          If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
          We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
          /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
          The Continent of Insults®™

          FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
          Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
          Here endeth the lesson.

  21. Green Thumb says:

    Still a turd.