Gretchen Evens; a never Ending Embellishing Embarrassment

| November 8, 2018

We posted about Gretchen Evens HERE.   Few things make me do the double facepalm more than a veteran with perfectly honorable service who decides to disgrace themselves.  She obviously did not get the memo to STFU about her phony feats of daring-do.

If Gretchen Evans ever decided to have a little fun with her resumé, it would be some fantastic reading.

It could easily say: “Deadly accurate grenade thrower, former spy, accomplished marathon runner and occasional owl rescuer who gave birth in an Army field hospital and led men in battle on numerous occasions before nearly dying in a mortar strike seeks to make your organization an amazing operation.”

“I am a badass,” Evans said with a laugh, sitting in her comfortable Enka home, which she shares with her husband, Robert. “I’m crazy bad.”

Jonn expressed a particular kind of fondness for her.   I take no joy in announcing that a Sergeant Major is full of  S#**.   You can read the entire article published by a gullible clown too lazy to use Google if you wish…   HERE. 

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (97)

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  1. Frank says:

    Which one is the lovely Gretchen?
    Left or right?

  2. Daisy Cutter says:

    The dog’s face was not blurred out.

    Now, there is guilt by association.

  3. OldManchu says:

    It has a husband?!?!???

    Someone should perform a health and welfare check for his safety.

  4. 26Limabeans says:

    From two years ago:

    “I would ask that you also look now at my records and verify that I was assigned to the Intelligence Support Activity. This was an unusual unit that supported special units. I was sent to training for HALO, Air Assault a
    I am truly trying to verify to you my legitimacy. You seem to be the voice of reason and if you can help that would be great. I would ask that until verified or unverified that the blog be removed using the benefit of the doubt innocent until proven guilty case”

    Mike Sleeper defense.

  5. Comm Center Rat says:

    Most civilians don’t know the distinction between a BSM awarded for meritorious service and one for valor. Usually, they firstly and mistakenly associate the medal with heroism and gallantry in the face of the enemy. E-9 Evans understands this confusion by the civilian journalists regarding the BSM and she exploits that lack of knowledge in portraying herself as a “crazy badass.”

    As a retiree, when I feel the need to be around heroes I go to Fort Drum, home of the 10th Mountain Division (LID). While drinking a cup of coffee in the food court I’m likely to encounter a young Sergeant who has already deployed three times and has an Army Commendation Medal with “V” device or even a BSM with “V” device.

    Since E-9 Evans resides in North Carolina, I suggest she visits Fort Bragg to get a reality check on heroism. I’m sure some paratrooper or Green Beret could educate her real quick about actual gallantry in the face of an armed enemy.

    E-9 Evans is a disgrace to the Total Army and to the uniform she once wore.

  6. Combat Historian says:

    Did Justin Paisley train her dog?

  7. 5jc says:

    “Also I earned my HALO wings and AA wings while assigned to the Intelligence Support Activity. We were put on orders using the DASR. The Department of the Army Special Roster which protected out unit assignment and names. Since it is difficult but not impossible to prove I’ll take your advice and remove the wings.”

    Shit, if I earned HALO wings somebody would have to sack the hell up and try to pry them off my chest with a Ka-Bar. Going to a school is not difficult or impossible to prove.

    I saw the whole fake deaf thing before years ago when I was in high school. We had this dude who claimed service in WWII. He was a retired Reserve O6. Eventually I figured out he wasn’t deaf. I then did the math and figured he was 12 in 1943 (the year he said he joined). I never confronted him about it but got really tired of listening to his bullshit stories.

  8. Roh-Dog says:

    That article is…just…so…good. Highlights include:
    ‘launch a three-pronged attack’
    I don’t remember that technique in 7-8
    “‘leap frogging’”
    Again, not a thing
    ‘highest ranking noncommissioned officer in the Army’
    Shhhh, no one tell SMA
    ‘Evans was awarded a Bronze Star medal for valor and heroism.’
    Clearly, no GD ‘V’ device (but ‘it’ is a Smadge so I could be wrong?)
    She’s a badass but only has plain Jane Airborne wings? What? Too busy running assaults in country to become a jumpmaster.
    It’s low hanging fruit to pin this on the head trauma. If you look at the pictures they appear synthetic, staged, almost as though she, or someone else, is grooming her for an election.
    And with the stupidity of the average citizen, she’s a shoe in.

    • 5jc says:

      She got a book to pimp, and that aint easy.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      A 3-pronged attack? I did not know that the Army uses pitchforks to do its business. I have been enlightened.

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        Judging by the age she appears to be, that’s the type of forks they used back then. I firmly believe she also drove an assault broom.

      • J.R. Johnson says:

        Tridents are three pronged (not to demean SEALs), Pitchforks have four…you know for shoveling Bull $hit!

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Oh, pitchforks also have three tines!

        And potato forks have up to four.

        Silage forks have as many as 10 tines for tossing and mixing silage, which is fermenting green stuff for cows to eat in the winter.

        • Roh-Dog says:

          Silage fork, pitch fork, trident, don’t matter much if you run into one tussling around in the hay.
          Poor Susie Jane ‘ill never be the same….

  9. 5jc says:

    Wait a second, I am confused. Is she back to claiming her bullshit fiction story is fact again? Because that is some pretty fanciful fiction right there.

  10. 26Limabeans says:

    Is she related to Larry King?

  11. 100E says:

    Her lapel must be hiding the “Guard, Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Identification Badge”.

  12. Mason says:

    First, the article is titled that she “won” the bronze star. It’s not a competition, pageant, or found at the bottom of a gumball machine.

    Claims she retired after being “badly injured”, but she’s not faking a PH. Zooming in on the photo of her with the class A jacket, it appears to have the same ribbons and badges as the higher res photo from two years ago.

    Says she had issues with receiving the BSM because she lost troops. The photo of her getting it from a LTG, she sure looks pleased.

    Finally, anyone who has to tell you how much a badass they are, is not, has never been, and will never be a badass.

    • 100E says:

      I was going to say the same thing. When I hear the word “won” used to describe the award of a decoration, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.
      The authors of articles describing heroics of soldiers would be well served to do a bit of research. Her Bronze Star for valor in combat is missing the obvious…. the ‘V’ device. It appears to be a ‘Meritorious’ award, which would be appropriate for a senior NCO leaving a unit.

      • David says:

        Not uncommon phrasing by the illiterati of the media. Like the general populace, only a tiny percentage ever served.

        If ribbons were SAPI plates she would never need a vest. How much of that is “I was there”?

        • 100E says:

          As I age, I’m becoming more critical of those who write or report about soldiers/veterans. In the internet age, so much misinformation is disseminated, and used to form stories, that we can’t believe anything. We need to verify for ourselves if that is even possible. I’ve heard news anchors say “…. won the Congressional Medal of Honor”. I could scream! First, no one “wins” one, and there is no such thing as the “Congressional Medal of Honor”. It’s the Medal of Honor.

  13. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    She weighs less than a helmet. I can see her all geared up, unable to move an inch.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      “combat-seasoned leader of military troops”

    • Mason says:

      The reviews are great. Three reviewers. Two of them describe it as a “quick” or “easy” read. Third reviewer said, “She will make you laugh and cry at the same time.”

      I think that’s accurate. We’re laughing at her embellishments and shedding tears that a CSM with legit war service would feel the need to.

    • Mike Simpson says:

      I wrote a review. I hope everyone does!

  14. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    This just reassures my belief, again, that it is -way- past time the Bronze Star Medal was made valor-only and MSMs substituted for merit-based BSMs.

  15. MrBill says:

    The citation for the Bronze Star is in the previous TAH post. It was given for doing a good job making life better for the inhabitants of Camp Eggers. No mention whatsoever of combat or valor.

    The through date on the Bronze Star was just three weeks after the alleged incident in which she was blown up, riddled with shrapnel, medevac’d, put into a medically induced coma, and deafened. She sure looks mighty healthy and happy while having the award pinned on her by the general who signed it.

  16. Ex-PH2 says:

    I like this bit from her inerviewer to God’s ears:
    “Evans is honestly not one to brag about herself.”
    Really? Not one to brag? Then what is she doing? Making a stiff gin & tonic?

    Gretchen Evans, you old cow, I can tell better stories that are labeled “fiction” for my readers than any of your faked-ass sand stories from the sandbox in your mind.

    If you are this desperate for attention, get some professional help with your problem. You are a pathological liar, and that is that.

    Also, you’re about as deaf as the calico cat that’s been sponging off of me for the past two years. She can be a quarter mile away and still hear the ‘CLICK’ when I unlock my front door to get the morning paper.

    Get over yourself. Go to confession. And shut up.

  17. I read the story and am a little confused about what is real and what is not real. I see the different comments but I cannot put it together so I’m asking for any of you Mil Vets from different branches who know their shit about this stuff could maybe list all the phony stuff she claims. In other posts, there usually is the DD214 posted listing all the awards and someone lists all the phony/real awards/ribbons. Even though I only spent 2 years in the ARNGUS from 1975-1977, and US Navy 1963-1969 (3 years active and 3 years inactive reserve) I am not familiar with these awards/decorations.

    • OWB says:

      Short version: She was a legitimate soldier and did in fact earn some nice awards. She had absolutely no reason to conflate what appears to have been an honorable career in the US Army.

      Instead of simply acknowledging what she did earn and taking accolades for it, she had to claim stupid things easily proven to be lies. Crazy.

      By doing this, she makes people like me question just how honorable her service actually was and if she has been a lying PoS all along. No need for it. At all.

  18. Skyjumper says:

    Is it wrong for me that every time I see her, I automatically think of this??

  19. Sparks says:

    Looks like the bottom my old combat boot.

  20. SFC D says:

    She’ll be running for congress next. Complete with a hashtag campaign telling us we have to believe her because she’s a woman. Time for google fame, CSM Gretchen Evans will soon be on the top of the list when “lying bitch” is searched.

  21. Sapper3307 says:

    N.H has an American Legion women that tells her tail of being a Medic in helicopter and shielding the wounded with own body as the bird was shot up. She was severely wounded in the process. And it happened in Saudi Ariba during Desert Storm. I was expecting to read that she turned down the Medal in Honor.

  22. SFC D says:

    Gretchen is like a scorching case of herpes. She just won’t go away.


    She looks like a rawhide Muppet

  24. OldManchu says:

    “Jonn expressed a particular kind of fondness for her.”

    That made me smile! 🙂

  25. Mike Simpson says:

    You can submit a review for her phony memoir on amazon here:

    Please give her a one star review and let people know that she is a fraud.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Yeah, I really like this quote: the shrink tells her “I cannot unfuck 27 years of trauma in 6 weeks.”

      I do not believe that is how shrinks/counselors talk to people who come to see them. Nor do I believe she had 27 long years of constant trauma. If so, all she had to do was leave – but that’s the obvious choice, isn’t it?

      Just that had me snort a little bit. I would find her more believable if she said “I got shot, but I asked if I could keep the bullets as pets”.

      So I’m waiting for someone who knew her when to show up and say she spouts baloney.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I had to search for this one, because it was only in Kindle, not in print when it was first issued. Now it’s in print. This is much more realistic than Gretched’s version of things.

      It’s by Donny O’Mally, a USMC officer, regarding Operation Branding Iron.

  26. Sparks says:

    I see better looking limp-wristed, lisping voiced queers when I get to the Starbucks’ window for my wife usual. Believe me, that’s saying one whole helluva lot too.

  27. Mountaindogsix says:

    I was with CFC-A at that time. Camp Eggers was this tiny as hell set of buildings within the sorta greenzone in Kabul. It was near enough the palace and the Embassies. Her only damn job there was organizing the vendors for the Bazaar. Its one thing to slap on some BS and tell tall tails at the Legion, but she wrote a book and did media. Did she not think folks assigned to CFC-A wouldn’t remember her. If a TIC like this happened at that time I suspect based on the relative calm in most places, that I’d remember it or the associated ramp ceremony at Bagram as my soldiers had responsibility to support COM-CAM for them. Things were kinda quiet until late spring as I recall. Regardless…wow!

    • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

      I was in A-stan 2005-06 and Camp Eggers was the US Embassy Compound near Massud Square in Kabul, everything was behind multiple barriers and you could tell that all exposed windows were bulletproof glass. That thinner than a toothpick bullshit-o-matic is really spinning some tales to say the least!

  28. Bom2motiv says:

    Gotta love this woman trying to make a buck off her lies. Her book on Amazon is $20 fucking dollars. Here is the link

  29. Bom2motiv says:

    Also looks like she was on Megyn Kelly Today spreading her lies.

  30. Ex-PH2 says:

    Which one sounds more realistic:
    a – her ‘group’ being attacked by flying monkeys,
    b – a fictitious SEAL Team made up of women, who interrupt a shipment of boxes of what seem to be kites, but in reality are unassembled advanced MASER weapons (such things are under development now) being shipped to a greedy politician’s private domicile?

    I mean, come on! If you’re going to embellish what you did, at least admit to it, or don’t do it.

  31. JTB says:

    So what exactly was she…???

  32. AnotherPat says:

    Needed a GOOD laugh today…and I got it!!!!!

    • AnotherPat says:


      “She was directly involved in the pursuit and subsequent release of General Dozier from his kidnappers.”

      “CSM Evans was then selected to become a member of a black operations unit. She attended Basic Airborne and Advance Airborne (High Altitude Low Opening) training at Fort Benning, GA. There were numerous other training requirements to include Bill Street’s Driving School, Sniper training, Demolition training and covert operations training before CSM Evans began her black operations career. During this time she also deployed with the 82nd Airborne Division on many occasions.”

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        YGTBSM, now we know. Most of time was NG, not that there is anything wrong with that, and now is sucking up spare oxygen in Dekalb Co. GA. This boys and girls is a very libbie SJW Section near downtown ATL. This from AP’s linkie thingy. Way back yonder the 519 MI detachment that was at Bragg was the super spooks; I was Det C 1st MI ARS then. 519th made a very spirited recruitment attempt on me. Odd.

      • Tony180A says:

        Advance Airborne is HALO training….and taught at Benning. Who knew.

    • Mason says:

      Wow. Just wow. Who hears all that and doesn’t think there’s something fishy going on here?

      She’s the female Jack Ryan if you believe her tales. What a pathetic person she is.

      • AnotherPat says:

        5th/77th FA and Mason:

        She’s cracking me up…from the same link!

        “CSM Evans awards include: the Bronze Star, six Meritorious Service Medals, campaign medals from Grenada, Somalia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom and numerous other citations and medals for action.”

        Gee Whiz…wonder why I never heard of her while I was in…

        Will another FOIA be filed to see if it includes the PH?

        Also thought in the last TAH post, she admitted that her story she told was fiction.

        What happened?

        Alot of us got good laughs from her BS, BUT, we were PO and wanted to “Brand” her.

        Another sad case of a narcisstict person who has low self-esteem that lives in an alternate, reality world…

        • rgr769 says:

          She doesn’t have a PH because she is a REMF who was likely never outside the wire. Her stories don’t pass the smell test.

          • 5th/77th FA says:

            Yeah buddy AP, I was doing the whole ROFLMAO reading that link, henceforth the YGBSM. And no, Jack Ryan is the personification of pussified compared to SGM Ramboette. She gotta rank right up their with that FNG CIA Badass Scott Harvath that Brad Thor invented lately. My daughter got me some of that left field fairy tale stuff when I had to take my medical sabbatical. On the surface, what could have been a perfectly good, proud of her service record, will go down as a crock of shit. Makes one wonder how much of the earned rank and gedunk I was there crap was actually earned on merit or issued for SJW purposes. Between this bitch and the scrunts that stole the Poms my blood pressure is up 30 points. Think I’ll have another cold beer.

    • baf says:

      Well, Jesus Christ. Now she’s tasking SR-71s?

  33. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Is she a dude?

    I am so confused …

    Dude or not … the flap jabber just can’t stop.



  34. Mike Simpson says:

    The well-meaning author of the article who she duped can be emailed here:

    I emailed him.

    Please, be polite and civil. He doesn’t know any better and was lied to. At least he is writing about vets in a positive way, which is more than you can say about most reporters. Maybe if enough of us reach out he will confront her and print a retraction. Also, the Amazon reviews on her book are taking a nice turn toward honesty!!

  35. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    I heard rumor that Gretchen Evans’s sooperdooperseekritskwirrel code name was “Phantom” because she’s invisible the moment she turns sideways and she can still crawl right through a keyhole!

  36. John Wright says:

    Black Ops my ass … maybe black soul.

  37. Jay says:

    Left my 2 cent review on Amazon. Wow.