Peter Helton – Phony Wounded Ranger Scout Sniper

| November 29, 2018

The folks at Military Phony send us their work on this Peter Thomas Helton fellow.

It is difficult to make out, but it appears that in the photo above that Helton has the 75th Ranger Regiment on his left arm, but oddly, no jump wings or air assault badge. He also appears to have a 1st ID patch on his right arm.

Helton claims he was in the US Army for 8 years, as a “scout sniper.”

He claimed to have lived near a lot of Army bases.

He also claims that he was the recipient of two (2) Purple Hearts.

He also has a RANGER plate on his jeep.

A search for his military records consistently comes up with one thing – a null result.

We think that he served in an Indiana State level military unit.  That said, if Helton would have gone to Army sniper school, or had any Ranger schools, it would have shown up on his NPRC records.

Helton is in the security industry, as depicted above in the photo.  We see he was charged with a felony a while back but we are still looking for a conviction on record which would preclude him from carrying a firearm.

Maybe there are some more records out there somewhere, we just can’t find any official military records to back up any of his nonsense.  One would think a guy with two Purple Hearts would want to clear this all up.


Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (68)

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  1. Combat Historian says:

    Another “Call of Duty” danger ranger warrior…

    • Skippy says:

      That’s should be “call of bootie”
      Turd burglar adventurer….
      He has completed all levels
      He’s now playing anal avenger
      Bootie pirates

    • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

      A RUMP Ranger at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).

  2. Crucible says:

    Mall ninja’s gonna mall ninja.

  3. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Flabby-looking sniveling booger-eating bed wetter of a candyassed wannabe,
    Does he claim service at Macho Grande as well? He looks like an anorexic version of “Blobfish”, more like a Bony Eared Assfish (search for the latter on YouTube, it’s safe for work)!

  4. JAGC says:

    Is that a Ranger tab on his ranger-rolled patrol cap? It’s like a cute little exclamation point stating, “no, really, I am a ranger, look at me!”

    • MI Ranger says:

      Back when we still wore BDUs (black beret days), personnel Ranger qualified in the Ranger Regiment wore the tab above their rank on their Patrol cap. I am not sure if they still do that.

      • Old Trooper says:

        True, but the Ranger tab worn on the cap would be subdued, also, just like on the left shoulder.

        This dumbfuck can’t find his ass with both hands and a GPS. He’s wearing a full color Ranger Regiment patch on ACUs along with a color Ranger tab on his lid, no jump wings, etc. If this twatwaffle wasn’t so fuckin’ jacked up, I would almost feel sorry for him. Almost

        • rgr769 says:

          Maybe the photo was taken on Holloween and he and his buddies were about to go out trick-or-treating. Clearly, this phony pony never served in the 1st ID or went to Ranger School or Sniper school if there is no record of active duty service at the NPRC. One commenter at the Military Phony site said Indiana had a volunteer state military reserve org that is the equivalent of Boy Scouts for adult males. He said they have no military recognition and are not allowed to attend any service schools, reserve, guard or otherwise. So this joker is a complete fake.

    • rgr1480 says:

      Looks like he’s also wearing a Ranger Tab as a combat patch above the Big Green One patch.

      He’s also wearing two tabs on his left sleeve. Wonder if the top one is “Special Forces” or “Airborne” ???

  5. M48DAT says:

    Is that a Woodland camo cap with his ACUs? Hard to tell with all the bullshit.

  6. Hondo says:

    FWIW: he also appears to be wearing a second tab in the first photo. I’m pretty sure the Ranger scrolls don’t have an “Airborne” tab, so assuming the lower one is the Ranger tab that means the upper is either a Sapper or long tab (SF) – or it’s some bullsh!t tab (e.g., “Sniper”).

    I’m pretty sure both Sapper school and SFQC require a member of the ARNG or USAR to be placed on Federal active-duty orders to attend. So if it’s a Sapper or SF tab, that would also be in his (apparently nonexistent) Federal military records.

    • Green Thumb says:

      A Ranger Joe’s Special!

      • AnotherPat says:

        Always wondered what RANGER JOES looks like now since it has been awhile that I set my foot in Columbus.

        Last time I was there, the store looked like a dump. But, hey, alot of us needed extra Class II for our school (CIF would not issue them to us).

        Boy, did we get ripped off.

    • Carlton G. Long says:

      He’s a Double Ranger, I guess.

  7. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Peter Helton’s cadence:

    I am a wannabe Ranger
    I jack off while dreaming of danger
    I have never served at all
    I walk around a shopping mall….

  8. MI Ranger says:

    His biggest give away is the mixing of uniform colors. He has a Class A Scroll (75th Ranger Regiment Tab). He is wearing a DCU (Desert BDU) Tab on his 1st ID patch and his Patrol Cap. And the only idiots that wear the color up, are those that have never worn it for work. I wore it up when in body armor, and always had a red ring from it for a week.

    • Combat Historian says:

      Assume you meant “collar”?

      • MI Ranger says:

        Check…darn spell check, and slow keyboard!

        • I don’t have spell check on my Smith Corona. I use a small sheet of paper with dry whiteout on it then I put the sheet on the wrong letter and type the same wrong letter then hit the key with the correct letter.

          • Keepin' It Real says:

            Haven’t you heard? The IBM Selectric has a white ribbon below the regular ribbon. You hit a correct key and it types the last key with white and then stays over the character so you can just hit the correct key. Now, here’s the great thing. If you hold down on the correct key it will sound like a machine gun as it erases the whole line.

            Who would have thought of such a thing just a few short years ago?

    • Mason says:

      It absolutely drives me nuts that TV and movies always have people wearing it collar up. Looks so stupid.

  9. ex-OS2 says:

    Ranger plates on the Jeep, legit.

    • Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

      He’s missing the service dog and MC vest though…

    • OldManchu says:

      It’s the girly like barbed wire license plate border that completes the legitness.

      • HMC Ret says:

        Only the baddest of the badasses get the barbed wire for their plates. It’s issued by the Secretary of the Army and is guarded more closely than is the Medal of Honor.

        So in today’s mail we have a 14 y/o who can’t wait to get in the military to serve his country and we have toads such as this who rock the lie. Hope he gets a tuneup from a real Ranger.

  10. AnotherPat says:

    Am pretty sure the Go Fund Me site posted below is for the same Peter Thomas Helton since he did live in Florida and moved to New Mexico. He wants to return to Florida with his family and is asking for donations. In his plea, he claims he has been in law enforcement for 18 years and that he served as a Veteran.

    He also may have been a Personal Trainer in Florida known as Coach Peter who knows how to train folks on “Boot Camp”. When you click on the link provided below, his picture comes up. Clicking on the picture leads to a picture of a Peter Helton wearing AIRBORNE wings and a RANGER Tab:

    You be the Judge.

  11. 26Limabeans says:

    Another “Big and Tall” mens clothing store shopper. Poser giveaway.

  12. 26Limabeans says:

    One phony Purple Heart is never enough.
    Once you buy one and pin it on it is like the best feeling ever and you just have to buy another.
    Ain’t that right Peter?

    • rgr769 says:

      Only one enemy marksmanship badge is never enough. Cuz one has to be in the wrong place at the wrong point in time at least twice.

  13. Daisy Cutter says:

    The last post was about Snatch.

    This post is about Peter.

    I see what you’re doing here.

  14. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    I never understood the folded arms pose. It’s supposed to look tough. It doesn’t. Besides, if attacked, by the time your arms are unfolded, you’re down.

  15. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Looking at the pics, I was sure Frisco was going to be one of the places he lived. Nope.

  16. Roh-Dog says:

    Next time this douche gets arrested he should, um, fall down a lot.
    I’ll owe some LEOs a beer or 4.

  17. AnotherPat says:

    He also was a Reverend in Florida. There was a picture of him marrying two folks, but it is gone. It still can be found on Google Image:

  18. Mason says:

    You’re telling me that squared away, bad-ass looking mofo isn’t a real ranger? Shocked I tell you! My world is shattered.

  19. 5th/77th FA says:

    Don’t deny (3 times) Peter (Doubting) Thomas his chance for Google Fame. He doesn’t even make a good lying posing POS. Where is the motorcycle, the doo rag, the comfort dog? All he has is the shades, non mirrored, the jeep w Ranger Tags, mismatched uniform pieces and parts. Better up your games you ass gerbil. Everyone knows that members of the Big Red One are the badasses of badassery. Just ask Lee Marvin. Not even sure if you could make a pimple on a Bart the Mall Cop’s ass. Purple Heart? No, maybe you were awarded the Purple Taint from the bruising you got as an apprentice towel boy at Brucie’s Bath House (entrance in the rear). ESAD MFer

  20. Allen says:

    He’d be pathetic if he wasn’t so laughable.

  21. Glad I’ve just always been a working stiff. Nothing more or less, kept the family fed and educated. Go look somewhere else for hero’s.

  22. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’m sure that’s just a Hallowe’en costume. Hat and shirt/pants don’t match, collar’s turned up to hide – oh, never mind – and that’s all surplus store clothing which is all either too small or too large. In this case, his thighs rub together.

  23. Green Thumb says:

    Since the P-value is high on this clown we will reject the alternative hypothesis and accept the null hypothesis that this dude is a turd.

    On a side note, I wonder who he will pick: The False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) or Turd Bolling of Ambassador Worldwide Protection Agency (national and international)?

    Decisions, decisions, decisions….

  24. Skippy says:

    He’s fu$&@ up his shits


    What a moron
    Who in the hell wears there ACU collars up
    He does a lot of thinking with his
    Fourth point of contact
    Another turd down the crapper

    • Dennis - not chevy says:

      ACU’s are after my time; but, I do remember in certain training scenarios (in Air Training Command) we had to roll our fatigue shirt sleeves down and button the top button. If we didn’t pass out from lack of blood flow to the brain, we carried on with the training.
      Is it the same way with the ACU’s? Is the collar worn up for certain conditions?

      • Skippy says:

        We would do neck up while we did combative’s
        I can’t remember ever doing it for anything else
        The Frac-U’s we were issued sucked because
        There was type of treatment done to them and
        While we did our “right seat / left seat training”
        In Kuwait our last week we did combatives
        And a lot of guys had rashes on there necks
        Because of necks up
        It was a trip

      • 5jc says:

        I went collar up when riding my motorbike. Some people wore them up with body armor but I never did. The armor wasn’t contraining. Wearing them collar up any other time would earn you some quality time with the next higher NCO in your chain.

        • SFC D says:

          Only time I wore it collar up was during reflexive fire training, and damned if I still didn’t get hot brass on the neck. Inside the collar. X3. Owie! Left an interesting looking blister.

        • Twist says:

          I never put the color up while wearing body armor. The only thing I changed was that I took off my ID tags because they would dig into my chest.

  25. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Dude was a sooper seekrit skwirrl BUTT SNIPER at Brucies Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)… when he wasn’t “fluffing” the clientele.

  26. Dave Hardin, got shot in the rear real quick here by a news item. Was going thru news crap and saw an article about some Maroon something or other thinking of turning down performing at super bowl. Damn my first thought as to headlines was at last some one finally came to their senses and was not performing because of the National F—–G Losers was not allowing the Military to perform. Stupid me and brain dead thoughts, it’s dummywood world as this group as well as two other performers are boycotting performing because of National F—–G Losers banning that big lip flapping loser who started this mess by kneeling down in the first place during the National Anthem.

  27. Combatvet says:

    Isn’t that Robert Peg Leg Jones’ squad leader? I think he’s legit.

  28. OldManchu says:

    That dude is just full to the brim with military bearing. Sigh…..

  29. NHSparky says:

    He’s full of something, alright.

  30. E4 Mafia For Life. says:

    Why didn’t I get a Scout tab for being a 19D? I feel ripped off.
    I guess I should have gotten a “RECON” tab too since I was an “Armored Reconnaissance Specialist.”
    And I went in in 1987 and nobody told me we had a sniper skool.
    They didn’t give me a “Combat Cavalry Badge.”
    They didn’t give me the merit badges the recruiter promised.
    On an unrelated note, I just passed 1990 Series X, Menu I: Pork w/Rice in BBQ Sauce TS 8oz. from December, 1990. About 5 more months to go…

  31. USAF RET says:

    Hmmm….Jeep with a lot of lights but no mud/dirt. He is even a Jeep poser. Nice barbed wire plate. This turd needs to get all of his shit in the same sock.

  32. 5th/77th FA says:

    Not Quite enough Google Hits, need to use his name more. Peter Thomas Helton, again, a lying, embellishing, not a real veteran, but a real faker. What’s your next scam, Peter Thomas Helton? ESAD