Michael Salgado – Phony Senior Chief SEAL

| December 31, 2018

The folks at Military Phony sent us their work on Michael Ray Salgado .

He claims he was a Senior Chief and retired from the Navy.

He even sports a SEAL tattoo…

 

When asked about some of his claims, he became quite defiant toward “all the cock suckers,” “mofos” and “fags” that dared to question the accounts of his military service…

Yesterday was quite a buzz with Team Guys in regard to Mike.  In fact, one might call it “The Day of the Salgado.”

Reality always wants to be paid back, so Mike Salgado’s military records were ordered and they tended to be his harshest critic…

Salgado should have been proud enough of what he actually did do.  Combat Action Ribbon, Navy Com with Valor Device and part of a Special Warfare Combatant Craft Crewmember.

What he did not do was go to BUD/S-SEAL training and he was never a Chief Petty Officer.

He got out on a prior enlistment in 1993 as an E-5, then got out later in 1996 as an E-3, being discharged on the same day that he made the rank of E-3.  At that pace, he could have stayed for 20 years and may have made it all the way back to the rank of E-1.

It seems that the Navy encouraged Mikey to find some other line of work.

Category: Fake SEAL, Navy, Phony SEAL

Comments (73)

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  1. Doc Savage says:

    “It seems that the Navy encouraged Mikey to find some other line of work.”

    Cannot imagine why; I’m simply shocked…shocked, I tell you, that the Navy passed on such a prime specimen of Special warfare potential.

    I would bet he could, by himself, lay waste to a Golden Corral dessert bar blind folded…tracking his prey by scent alone.

    • Club Manager, USA ret. says:

      This sonovabitch works for GT Performance Marine in Upland, CA. They don’t have a web site but you can message them on Facebook about their stellar employee. He is also a lifetime VFW out of Hewitt, TX and lifetime DAV from the same area. What these sorry individual’s don’t get is their I love me photos on Facebook tell people a lot.

    • thebesig says:

      I could picture it now. The employees see his vehicle pull into a parking lot. They think, “Oh God no, not him again!” But, he comes in. Then, with food slopped all over the bars, trays overturned, they see him waddle to back to the parking lot.

  2. OWB says:

    Here’s a clue, Mikey – if you said something to the effect of “Hey, I had a lot of opportunities to do great work with the Navy, and even served honorably for quite a while, but I screwed myself up royally when I _____ and they had to throw me out.” Most folks would still respect you. With all the lies, that is impossible.

    Yeah, his lies now make you wonder if he was ever anything but a screw up. The paper trail indicates he knew how to be a good trooper, but his lies bring even that into question.

    Stop lying, Mikey. Just stop.

    • thebesig says:

      He’d be more convincing if he simply balanced a ball on his nose, started clapping his hands, and said “Arf, arf, arf” at the same time.

  3. JBUSMC says:

    Wait a minute…. What’s the deal with the bandage over the Trident tattoo? Surely he didn’t get that tattoo while he was on active duty??

    • Sapper3307 says:

      I served with a turd in the 82nd, he hade a green beret with crossed daggers on his forearm. It was in honor of his buddy who wanted to be SF but never enlisted. It was lots of fun to hassle him on his BS.

      • 26Limabeans says:

        Honor vest /honor tatoo. It’s all good.

      • Ret_25X says:

        I served with a signaleer at 3rd Army who showed up to work in Kuwait one day sporting a CIB on his uniform.

        He went waltzing into his duty area and the SGM there told him to take it off before it gets ripped off his uniform.

        His claim? Well he was a signal supporter in SOCAD, therefore he was SF and entitled to wear a CIB…

        Yeah, we held him down and ripped it right off his uniform.

        The part of the whole story that pissed us all off was not that he was playing dress up, but that he was a useless shamwad who never did anything that even remotely looked like work.

        He got a GCM later for government credit card fraud and theft.

        What a dumb ass.

        • Grunt says:

          We had a dude try to pull that shit. Motherfucker walks into our AO rocking a CIB w/ star. Naturally, every eyebrow in the joint went up.

          Turned out the douche was National Guard SSG infantryman, had two awards for the CIB from OIF and on his last DEMOB, talked the DD214 clerk into entering it as a CIB, 2nd award.

          Spoke with the CO and 1SG. He was given options. Either we remove the CIB with a knife on the spot, or we pursued UCMJ.

          He elected to be divested of his fraudulent award.

        • HMC Ret says:

          True no shitter that is well known in certain regions and I can testify to its accuracy.

          There was a certain HMCS. I relieved him as COD/OOD (combo job). At turnover before the CO and XO that morning, he was asked by CO what had been the dustup he had heard about that occurred at about 2300 the prior night. Seems a young Corpsman, about 18 y/o, right from Hospital Corps School (meaning he had 7-8 months in the Navy) reported aboard for duty. Turd had about five rows of ribbons. But … the kicker was he had a SEAL Trident and the HMCS was a highly decorated SEAL. The kid is standing at the OOD counter going through the process of handing over his orders and what not. The HMCS, who was a genuine barrel chested man who could probably bench press a Buick, reached across the counter and dragged the kid to the other side and slammed him against the wall. He then ripped off all the chest candy. So the HMCS relates this story to the 6 of us standing at parade rest. The CO asks the HMCS what he feel should be his punishment for roughing up an E2. Without missing a beat, the XO opined ‘How about a Navy Commendation’. That was the end of discussion. Nothing happened to the Senior Chief. The E2? He ended up working in the barracks, about the worst job for a Corpsman. He didn’t last long, though; he couldn’t be trusted and was a slacker. Uniform often looked as if he had been dumpster diving. He was transferred to the fleet after about 5 months or so, well short of his designated transfer date. True no shitter.

          • Jay says:

            Sounds like a classic response from a REAL XO. I retired out of Recon Bn in 2017. Our HMC was a SARC. I swear to God I could use that man’s rack as a blanket at night….

        • Sapper3307 says:

          My last ride was 3rd Army in 05.

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      I wonder if someone who was a SEAL and saw his tat told him to cover it up? Not a good way to make friends with the SEAL community…

    • Funkythumm says:

      Yes he did.. It was covered because there was a Master EOD tech/ SEAL Vietnam vet who said that the tatoo was going to be cut off or burned off.. I was there. It got covered and he got sent away.

  4. Sapper3307 says:

    His separation code was redacted, A bed wetter I think.

  5. The Al says:

    And of course, if you go to his Facebook page, he’s blaming the lies on his ex-wife

  6. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Michael Salgado looks like a highly experienced MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando if anything and he’s chock full of 24K butthurt as well! Going from E5 to E3 takes some serious dickstepping, I wonder what it was?

  7. Trapper Frank says:

    No trip to FT. Benning for snowcone jump Wings = dirty, nasty, stinking leg.

  8. AW1Ed says:

    The Skipper can take two at Captain’s Mast. Looks like he was ‘awarded’ NJP and an Admin Sep. That’s some mighty fine dick stomping right there.

    Did he sleep in that shirt, or iron it with a rock?

    • thebesig says:

      He used an iron, but didn’t turn it on. 🙄

      • Thunderstixx says:

        He obviously hasn’t turned anything on in his life… He’s so homely and stupid he can’t turn the TV on without help from his neighbor, and he charges $20 per click !!!
        Ever…..

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      He got out as an EN2 in ’93 and came back in ’95… probably as an E-4 since he had been out for a while. Got hammered at Captain’s Mast and was given the boot at SSC Great Lakes.

  9. 26Limabeans says:

    Looks like he got all chubby, like a real seal does from sucking fish.

    • 5th/77th FA says:

      More than likely from sucking down protein shakes at Brucie’s Bath House (entrance in the rear).

      Arm bandage from an assault fork wound suffered during the Macho Grande action.

  10. HMC Ret says:

    I think the criticism is unwarranted. He might have served in a SEAL Team as a flotation device.

    • thebesig says:

      Bwaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaa!

      “I’m ten minutes away and can drive you to Sea World..

      “Your seal act starts at 11. DON’T FORGET THE RED BALL..” – Caroline Davidson

  11. HMC Ret says:

    Wow, just wow. He rocketed from E5 to E3. Impressive. In a few more years he could have advanced to E1.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      He entered the Navy as a Master Chief (E-9) under the DPG program (Declining PayGrade Program).

      After boot camp they are immediately given E-8, E-7 after service school and so on.

      This has caused some consternation with the folks that feel that they earned it by going UA/AWOL, accumulating DUIs and striking their commanding officer, but the Navy felt they had to provide incentive for dick steppers.

  12. NHSparky says:

    He must have been stomping on his dick with golf shoes.

    Instructor billet to OTH/Admin sep.

    Oh, many and varied are the ways he could have fucked himself over: drugs, fraternization, cheating (or “helping” students), sexual harassment, the list goes on.

    Be interesting to hear his side of it. From what I can see elsewhere, the Team guys are lighting his ass up like it was 4th of July.

    • sbalm says:

      I love it when their Facebook page lights up like a Christmas tree.

      They are sometimes defiant, chase and delete every post for hours… then scuttle the ship.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      “Be interesting to hear his side of it”

      I’d like to hear the ex’s side of it. Perhaps she would like to chime in.
      Or even Sally as a sock puppet.
      That would be awesome.

      • SFC D says:

        Standing by to repel boarders, foogas primed and ready… on your command…

      • The Al says:

        Here’s what his ex has to say after he tried throwing her under the bus up above:

        This whole post is a lie . Iam not trying to destroy the family and he does have custody but only because it was all under false pretense he utilized his older son mother for her money . And she made a statement that mike Salgado helped with his sons up bringing that s a big fat lie . The judge only saw one side of the story . Now as for the post and testimony statement he posted I did not take my daughter she choose to go with me she 13 . My son did not try to Stop me and I talk to him a lot . I love my son with all my heart ♥️ I could never ever Stop talking to him . Mike please Seek Help .

  13. Been awhile since we had a Monday morning Seal pretender. Another Snipe disgracing the Engineering Dept.

  14. Jay says:

    Dude had a LEGIT career, LEGIT stack (Navy Comm with a V, are you SHITTING ME?!?) and decided to stomp on his dick with BOTH FEET? Fuck you fat boy.

    I may have just been a POG Marine, but I am PROUD to have been just a POG Marine, it’s still more than 99.9% of the population would EVER do.

    • JBUSMC says:

      Me too. I’d rather be me right now with my two NDSM’s than this dude who has some impressive legit awards.. All the opportunities this dude had and he puts on a Trident… Why???

  15. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Michael Salgado was never a USN SEAL.
    Michael Salgado left the US Navy after going from E5 to E3.
    Michael Salgado stepped heavily on his pecker while wearing steel toe boots.
    Michael Salgado looks like a member of MEAL Team Six and a Buffet Assault Commando.
    Michael Salgado looks pissed off that nobody noticed him when he went to the Crossdressers Dance at The Blue Oyster.
    Michael Salgado is a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
    Michael Salgado is more full of shit than either a Battalion or Used Car Salesmen or a Platoon of Politicians.
    Michael Salgado is getting his ass handed to him and rightfully so!
    Michael Salgado couldn’t make it past being an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)
    Michael Salgado can chin up, ALL FOUR of them!
    Michael Salgado looks like a hybrid cross between the Michelin and Sta-Puf Men.
    Michael Salgado is so fat that the last time he wore a yellow raincoat he had people running up to him yelling “TAXI!!!”.
    Michael Salgado has been photographed sporting a USN SEAL tattoo.
    Michael Salgado looks like he’s a T-bird and MD20/20 aficionado.
    Michael Salgado has been rumored to blow winos behind bus stops for spare change.

    Michael Salgado is discovering the power of Google®™️ and will continue to do so because the Internet is forever! Got that, Michael Salgado?

    ((((OVER))))

    • Mason says:

      Copy 5×5, API

      Michael Salgado was never a USN SEAL.
      Michael Salgado left the US Navy after going from E5 to E3.
      Michael Salgado stepped heavily on his pecker while wearing steel toe boots.
      Michael Salgado looks like a member of MEAL Team Six and a Buffet Assault Commando.
      Michael Salgado looks pissed off that nobody noticed him when he went to the Crossdressers Dance at The Blue Oyster.
      Michael Salgado is a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
      Michael Salgado is more full of shit than either a Battalion or Used Car Salesmen or a Platoon of Politicians.
      Michael Salgado is getting his ass handed to him and rightfully so!
      Michael Salgado couldn’t make it past being an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)
      Michael Salgado can chin up, ALL FOUR of them!
      Michael Salgado looks like a hybrid cross between the Michelin and Sta-Puf Men.
      Michael Salgado is so fat that the last time he wore a yellow raincoat he had people running up to him yelling “TAXI!!!”.
      Michael Salgado has been photographed sporting a USN SEAL tattoo.
      Michael Salgado looks like he’s a T-bird and MD20/20 aficionado.
      Michael Salgado has been rumored to blow winos behind bus stops for spare change.

      Michael Salgado is discovering the power of Google®™️ and will continue to do so because the Internet is forever! Got that, Michael Salgado?

      • SFC D says:

        TAH SW DIV COPIES

        Michael Salgado was never a USN SEAL.
        Michael Salgado left the US Navy after going from E5 to E3.
        Michael Salgado stepped heavily on his pecker while wearing steel toe boots.
        Michael Salgado looks like a member of MEAL Team Six and a Buffet Assault Commando.
        Michael Salgado looks pissed off that nobody noticed him when he went to the Crossdressers Dance at The Blue Oyster.
        Michael Salgado is a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
        Michael Salgado is more full of shit than either a Battalion or Used Car Salesmen or a Platoon of Politicians.
        Michael Salgado is getting his ass handed to him and rightfully so!
        Michael Salgado couldn’t make it past being an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)
        Michael Salgado can chin up, ALL FOUR of them!
        Michael Salgado looks like a hybrid cross between the Michelin and Sta-Puf Men.
        Michael Salgado is so fat that the last time he wore a yellow raincoat he had people running up to him yelling “TAXI!!!”.
        Michael Salgado has been photographed sporting a USN SEAL tattoo.
        Michael Salgado looks like he’s a T-bird and MD20/20 aficionado.
        Michael Salgado has been rumored to blow winos behind bus stops for spare change.

        Michael Salgado is discovering the power of Google®™️ and will continue to do so because the Internet is forever! Got that, Michael Salgado?

        • Sarge says:

          TAH Hawaiian Division copies as follows:

          Michael Salgado was never a USN SEAL.
          Michael Salgado left the US Navy after going from E5 to E3.
          Michael Salgado stepped heavily on his pecker while wearing steel toe boots.
          Michael Salgado looks like a member of MEAL Team Six and a Buffet Assault Commando.
          Michael Salgado looks pissed off that nobody noticed him when he went to the Crossdressers Dance at The Blue Oyster.
          Michael Salgado is a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
          Michael Salgado is more full of shit than either a Battalion or Used Car Salesmen or a Platoon of Politicians.
          Michael Salgado is getting his ass handed to him and rightfully so!
          Michael Salgado couldn’t make it past being an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)
          Michael Salgado can chin up, ALL FOUR of them!
          Michael Salgado looks like a hybrid cross between the Michelin and Sta-Puf Men.
          Michael Salgado is so fat that the last time he wore a yellow raincoat he had people running up to him yelling “TAXI!!!”.
          Michael Salgado has been photographed sporting a USN SEAL tattoo.
          Michael Salgado looks like he’s a T-bird and MD20/20 aficionado.
          Michael Salgado has been rumored to blow winos behind bus stops for spare change.

    • Cameron Kingsley says:

      How did you come up with the Brucie’s bathhouse joke? Where does it come from?

      • A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

        I stole it from some prank envelopes I found in a store, one said “HERPES TEST RESULTS, Personal and Confidential” where the return address goes and another was “Brucie’s Bath House, Entrance in the Rear” with “Statement Enclosed” below it, I got some good revenge on some people with those when I was in college, especially when I mailed on to someone at a frat house!

        • Cameron Kingsley says:

          Ah, now it makes sense. Sure is appropriate too. I thought you had gotten it from a radio DJ prankster who used to call himself Brucie Bumchuckles when I found out about him (he even pulled a prank that he was taking a bath while he was live). Thanks API. Always wondered where that came from.😊

    • xyzzy says:

      Copy:

      Michael Salgado was never a USN SEAL.
      Michael Salgado left the US Navy after going from E5 to E3.
      Michael Salgado stepped heavily on his pecker while wearing steel toe boots.
      Michael Salgado looks like a member of MEAL Team Six and a Buffet Assault Commando.
      Michael Salgado looks pissed off that nobody noticed him when he went to the Crossdressers Dance at The Blue Oyster.
      Michael Salgado is a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
      Michael Salgado is more full of shit than either a Battalion or Used Car Salesmen or a Platoon of Politicians.
      Michael Salgado is getting his ass handed to him and rightfully so!
      Michael Salgado couldn’t make it past being an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)
      Michael Salgado can chin up, ALL FOUR of them!
      Michael Salgado looks like a hybrid cross between the Michelin and Sta-Puf Men.
      Michael Salgado is so fat that the last time he wore a yellow raincoat he had people running up to him yelling “TAXI!!!”.
      Michael Salgado has been photographed sporting a USN SEAL tattoo.
      Michael Salgado looks like he’s a T-bird and MD20/20 aficionado.
      Michael Salgado has been rumored to blow winos behind bus stops for spare change.
      Michael Salgado is discovering the power of Google®™️ and will continue to do so because the Internet is forever! Got that, Michael Salgado?Michael Salgado was never a USN SEAL.
      Michael Salgado left the US Navy after going from E5 to E3.
      Michael Salgado stepped heavily on his pecker while wearing steel toe boots.
      Michael Salgado looks like a member of MEAL Team Six and a Buffet Assault Commando.
      Michael Salgado looks pissed off that nobody noticed him when he went to the Crossdressers Dance at The Blue Oyster.
      Michael Salgado is a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
      Michael Salgado is more full of shit than either a Battalion or Used Car Salesmen or a Platoon of Politicians.
      Michael Salgado is getting his ass handed to him and rightfully so!
      Michael Salgado couldn’t make it past being an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear)
      Michael Salgado can chin up, ALL FOUR of them!
      Michael Salgado looks like a hybrid cross between the Michelin and Sta-Puf Men.
      Michael Salgado is so fat that the last time he wore a yellow raincoat he had people running up to him yelling “TAXI!!!”.
      Michael Salgado has been photographed sporting a USN SEAL tattoo.
      Michael Salgado looks like he’s a T-bird and MD20/20 aficionado.
      Michael Salgado has been rumored to blow winos behind bus stops for spare change.
      Michael Salgado is discovering the power of Google®™️ and will continue to do so because the Internet is forever! Got that, Michael Salgado?

  16. IDC SARC says:

    dick steppin gnardgargler

  17. MrBill says:

    Just looked at his FB page. The guy has issues. This is one of those cases where I feel more pity than disgust.

  18. Mason says:

    This might be the first phony pony who didn’t award himself a boatload of unearned valor medals. Looking at the top picture and comparing to his DD-214, he gave himself a second GCM and has an extra star on his AFEM, but otherwise the two lineup.

    I guess wearing all of that salad with E-3 stripes and no badges wasn’t good enough for him.

    • Jay says:

      I did the same thing. Everything more or less lines up. That’s the weirdest shit. Dude….OWN it. Other than your rank fuck ups, you had a stellar time in.

  19. Ex-PH2 says:

    I have the perfect solution to this fellow’s problem. All he needs is to get himself some seal pattern camo fabric and have someone make him a set of seal camos, pants and shirt.

    The fabric is found here at Etsy.

    https://www.etsy.com/market/seal_fabric

    I think this one is perfect. What do you all think?

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/569369244/packed-seals-by-elizabeth-studios-by-the?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=seal+fabric&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&pro=1

  20. Grunt says:

    Cocksucker

  21. SEAL TWO says:

    I know for a fact that he didn’t land in Saudi on 6 Aug 1990, because I was on that flight. Other than those SEALS who were serving on the SOCCENT staff, there were only about a half-dozen of us SEALs on that aircraft, and if I take the time to think back, I could name all of them. This dick-head Salgado wasn’t one of them.

  22. HMC Ret says:

    A head scratcher. Seems to have been an instructor when busted. Wonder what brought that about? Dipping into the student female gene pool? Pretty serious to lose two pay grades. Maybe dipping his wick and then lying about it?

  23. Thunderstixx says:

    Ferret faced fumble fuck…..