Gabriel Jones – Phony Navy SEAL

| January 21, 2019 | 55 Comments

The folks at MilitaryPhony sent us their work on Gabriel O. Jones who claims he was a U.S. Navy SEAL.

Gabe received the August 2018 Employee of the Month award for his public service job in San Francisco.  We wonder if his claim of being a Navy SEAL tipped the scales?  Or maybe the guy or gal that came in as runner-up was in Army food service and stayed stateside?

This award was made into a poster and put on the walls of each floor of the building getting maximum visibility for all 2000 workers.  The biography was constructed from an interview by upper management.

It seems that Jones’ co-workers have also heard tales of him serving in Desert Storm, Bosnia, Serbia and visiting 52 countries before he turned 25 y/o.  He also claims that his SEAL unit successfully protected the West Coast from invasion.

He also claims his diabetes was a result of medications the SEAL Team members had to take prior to going on missions to protect them from the elements.  We can’t speak directly to that but it sounds like he told this to several people.

The Navy didn’t see things quite the same way as Gabe…

Jones was in the Navy less than two years and was put out on a ‘convenience of the government’ discharge.

No BUD/S or SEAL training listed in his records.  No overseas deployments so that would have been hard to get to Bosnia, Chechnya and Serbia.  He was in long after Desert Storm.

Thank goodness it is a long weekend for federal, state and local government employees. – it may be a long walk to Gabe’s desk on Tuesday morning.

Category: Navy, Phony SEAL

Comments (55)

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  1. 5th/77th FA says:

    Not sure which is more sickening, The Valor Stealing lying sack-o-sh*t Gabriel O. Jones or poster that was placed on every floor forcing the other employees to be exposed to this lying sack-o-shit.

    Or it could be the fact that both the lying sack-o-sh*t and the poster are paid by tax dollars, some way, some how. Public service job in San Fran? Do the public a service and do away with this POS.

    • Mason says:

      The poster is horrendous. Can you imagine having to see that smug asshole’s face every morning when you show up to work?

    • Club Manager, USA ret. says:

      TAH being the nice people they are didn’t post this sonovabitch’s place of work. I, on the other hand being a legal turnip, don’t have the same concern.
      Handbook and Training Manager, Welfare-to-Work Division, San Francisco Department of Human Services.
      Here is the entry from their meeting minutes and rest assured gentle readers, I have given them an aw shit moment although I suspect Military Phonies and others may have already done did that :>))
      EMPLOYEE OF THE President Kahn announced GABE JONES, Handbook and Training Manager, Welfare-to-Work Services Division, as the
      MONTH August 2018 Employee of the Month. The Commission recognized Gabe for his enthusiastic, helpful attitude and impressive
      ability to handle pressure calmly and with composure. He makes the complicated world of social services policies and
      regulations understandable and digestible for his colleagues through excellent project management, supervision, and
      analytical skills. Mr. Jones was awarded an engraved desk clock, which he graciously accepted with thanks to all. Guests
      present in support of Gabe included his wife and a full auditorium of colleagues.
      Great way to celebrate General Robert E. Lee’s birthday.

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        Bobby Lee = 19 Jan

        Thomas Jonathan “Stonewall” Jackson = 21 Jan

      • rgr769 says:

        That was very kind of our beloved TAH not to post where he is employed in the San Fransicko as a City employee. We wouldn’t want it get out down on Folsom Street in those Tenderloin gay clubs that he shouldn’t be wearing a Budweiser badge on his biker vest that goes with his assless chaps.

  2. Combat Historian says:

    Did this guy actually do anything in the Navy other than hanging out and marking time at NTC Great Lakes?

  3. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Nothing says SEAL like a 10 1/2″ neck and 11″ biceps.

  4. Sapper3307 says:

    Perhaps his team trying to get drunk from automotive anti-freeze?

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    Too early for this twatwaffle’s antics, but he is definitely a premier example of chicanery and jackassery at large.

    I sincerely hope that he runs into some real SEALs, preferably after an elephant seal pounds his vehicle into pulp.

  6. IDC SARC says:

    Yep….it’s Monday

    Muthafukkah…just go get wet and sandy. Ahmmma get some coffee.

  7. NR Pax says:

    Looks like a failed audition for being the Old Spice guy.

  8. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Gabriel O. Jones WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
    Gabriel O. Jones was discharged from the US Navy “…for the convenience of the Government”, the mark of a shitbag.
    Gabriel O. Jones lied and had it posted all over a Government building.
    Gabriel O. Jones smiles like a dedicated meat gazer.
    Gabriel O. Jones DID NOT serve in DS/DS.
    Gabriel O. Jones lives in Berkelely CA, home of UC Berzerkely.
    Gabriel O. Jones looks like the type who would sniff toilet seats in a highway rest area while looking for a date.
    Gabriel O. Jones is also likely a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
    Gabriel O. Jones looks like someone I would not let near my kids.
    Gabriel O. Jones looks like a Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake.
    Gabriel O. Jones did not get Diabetes from serving in the Military.
    Gabriel O. Jones looks like he’s a 24K booger-eating bedwetting SLUG.
    Gabriel O. Jones looks like he would contact Bernath via a Medium for legal and aviation advice.
    Gabriel O. Jones needs to meet up with some real USN SEALs and see what they think of his bullshit, I hope that happens.
    Gabriel O. Jones is more full of shit than ten million Christmas Geese.
    Gabriel O. Jones was likely in Chechnya as much as John Giduck.
    Gabriel O. Jones has jumped out of airplanes far less often than YoUkNowWho.
    Gabriel O. Jones is an USN SEAL like I’m The Dalai Lama, which I’m NOT.
    Gabriel O. Jones looks like he could get his ass whipped by any Soldier fresh out of AIT.
    Gabriel O. Jones is going to discover The Power of Google®™ which will stay with him because Gabriel O. Jones will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

    ((((OVER))))

    • BlueCord Dad says:

      Copy all & concur PI! What a maroon..

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        I SAY AGAIN:

        Gabriel O. Jones WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
        Gabriel O. Jones was discharged from the US Navy “…for the convenience of the Government”, the mark of a shitbag.
        Gabriel O. Jones lied and had it posted all over a Government building.
        Gabriel O. Jones smiles like a dedicated meat gazer.
        Gabriel O. Jones DID NOT serve in DS/DS.
        Gabriel O. Jones lives in Berkelely CA, home of UC Berzerkely.
        Gabriel O. Jones looks like the type who would sniff toilet seats in a highway rest area while looking for a date.
        Gabriel O. Jones is also likely a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
        Gabriel O. Jones looks like someone I would not let near my kids.
        Gabriel O. Jones looks like a Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake.
        Gabriel O. Jones did not get Diabetes from serving in the Military.
        Gabriel O. Jones looks like he’s a 24K booger-eating bedwetting SLUG.
        Gabriel O. Jones looks like he would contact Bernath via a Medium for legal and aviation advice.
        Gabriel O. Jones needs to meet up with some real USN SEALs and see what they think of his bullshit, I hope that happens.
        Gabriel O. Jones is more full of shit than ten million Christmas Geese.
        Gabriel O. Jones was likely in Chechnya as much as John Giduck.
        Gabriel O. Jones has jumped out of airplanes far less often than YoUkNowWho.
        Gabriel O. Jones is an USN SEAL like I’m The Dalai Lama, which I’m NOT.
        Gabriel O. Jones looks like he could get his ass whipped by any Soldier fresh out of AIT.
        Gabriel O. Jones is going to discover The Power of Google®™ which will stay with him because Gabriel O. Jones will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

        ((((OVER))))

        THAT’S the kind of Commo Check I like when I make that kind of post, GOOGLE®™ POWER!!!

    • Graybeard says:

      API, I copy

      “Gabriel O. Jones WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Gabriel O. Jones was discharged from the US Navy “…for the convenience of the Government”, the mark of a shitbag.
      Gabriel O. Jones lied and had it posted all over a Government building.
      Gabriel O. Jones smiles like a dedicated meat gazer.
      Gabriel O. Jones DID NOT serve in DS/DS.
      Gabriel O. Jones lives in Berkelely CA, home of UC Berzerkely.
      Gabriel O. Jones looks like the type who would sniff toilet seats in a highway rest area while looking for a date.
      Gabriel O. Jones is also likely a Dutch Rudder Gang wannabe.
      Gabriel O. Jones looks like someone I would not let near my kids.
      Gabriel O. Jones looks like a Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake.
      Gabriel O. Jones did not get Diabetes from serving in the Military.
      Gabriel O. Jones looks like he’s a 24K booger-eating bedwetting SLUG.
      Gabriel O. Jones looks like he would contact Bernath via a Medium for legal and aviation advice.
      Gabriel O. Jones needs to meet up with some real USN SEALs and see what they think of his bullshit, I hope that happens.
      Gabriel O. Jones is more full of shit than ten million Christmas Geese.
      Gabriel O. Jones was likely in Chechnya as much as John Giduck.
      Gabriel O. Jones has jumped out of airplanes far less often than YoUkNowWho.
      Gabriel O. Jones is an USN SEAL like I’m The Dalai Lama, which I’m NOT.
      Gabriel O. Jones looks like he could get his ass whipped by any Soldier fresh out of AIT.
      Gabriel O. Jones is going to discover The Power of Google®™ which will stay with him because Gabriel O. Jones will now find out that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER. ”

      (((OVER)))

  9. JTB says:

    He meant to say he went to a SEAL concert and met him backstage…

  10. 26Limabeans says:

    I do not think his award for “public service” is what he thinks it is.

  11. NHSparky says:

    I was at NRD LA in 1998. More dangerous there than being a SEAL.

  12. OldManchu says:

    He left off Panama. What good poser from that era leaves off Panama? Rookie ass pencil dick.

  13. AW1Ed says:

    That is the physique you get for about 1,000 pushups a day for six months at BUD/S.

    Riiiiight.

  14. Mick says:

    I wonder what he thinks that he did in Bosnia and Serbia.

  15. BlueCord Dad says:

    You don’t think he was dumb enough to put his asshatery on his application for employment do you? Nah, nobody is that stooopid….

  16. David says:

    Who knew Chris Rock was a SEAL.

  17. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    You guys are so dumb.

    Everyone knows former Navy SEALs often take up meaningless jobs and don’t use the extensive skill set they acquired over their career in order to be awarded a cheap Chineeze made battery operated clock for doing a good job.

    GOGGLE IT!

    This guy is the real deal.

  18. 3/10/MED/b says:

    Are we sure that “clock” is really a “clock”?
    He was a SEAL, you know…

  19. Cameron Kingsley says:

    Berkeley? Well consider the source. Not surprising at all.

  20. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    Qualifications for employee of the month:

    “I did this this, that, and the other thing for those guys over there after normal workings and achieved a high level of success…Oh, and I was a Navy SEAL…duh, can’t forget that.”

    AS its been said before that POSing is just the cherry on top of the shit-sandwich these guys call life.

  21. 3/10/MED/b says:

    “I don’t do impressions. My training is in psychiatry.”

    Not fitting for this forum, but Macho Grande was used.

    Is that a good sign?

    Well, it does the job.

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